A junior high school student wrote a poem, please help revise it

Do you think it's cold in winter?

The cold wind is blowing in your face.

I couldn't help but shudder.

Warm light in the window.

Mirroring the sparse footprints on the streets.

Who is sticking to their posts in the winter.

What is it that opens alone in Ling Han.

It is iron-boned style inspired by winter.

Only then will all things be stronger.

Do you think you're tired in the winter?

The year has come to an end again.

How many vicissitudes have been diluted by time.

And how many memories have been buried by the years.

The affection of the winter days of yesteryear.

Can it withstand the baptism of time?

I looked out the window.

The sun has lifted the clouds.

A smile that I hadn't seen in a long time.

Nice poem. I am very envious, we didn't have this kind of homework back then, and writing poems was an "underground activity".

In fact, junior high school students write like this, and they are more confident.

If you don't go out in winter, how can it not be cold?

Do you think it's cold in winter?

The cold wind is blowing in your face.

I couldn't help but shudder.

Who bought the cotton clothes for you early?

Who is it to keep you warm and keep you away.

This winter is not too cold.

Do you think you're tired in the winter?

The streets are sparsely populated.

Mostly stay indoors for heating.

Who is sticking to their posts in the winter.

What is it that opens alone in Ling Han.

It's a winter with a strong backbone.

Do you feel hopeless in the winter?

It's the end of the year again.

How many vicissitudes have been diluted by time.

And how many memories have been buried by the years.

The affection of the winter days of yesteryear.

Can it withstand the baptism of time?

I looked out the window.

The sun has lifted the clouds.

A smile that I hadn't seen in a long time.

It turns out that behind winter lies spring.

You can delete the main words, and you can remove them if you see which words are removed.

I think it's okay to read it.

You can check it yourself this way (but you need to be familiar with the poems to do better).

For example, if you start with a shiver, this is too vernacular, and you can change it to shiver, suddenly shiver, etc., to be simpler.

Most of the back ones are also ...... to heat up in the houseCompare nonsense ......There's no one on the street, isn't it just ...... in the house?It is better to write "The warm light in the window reflects the sparse footprints on the street".

As for the latter ones, most of them are this kind of problem, in fact, you write quite well, and the ideas are also very much in line with the teacher's appetite, but the wording needs to be scrutinized.

"At the end of another year" or "another year has come to an end" is much better than dryly saying "another year is at the end".

It doesn't seem like the sun is right to clear the clouds, and I haven't thought of what to say ......Of course, that's fine, but at the end of the day your psalm is obviously going to have a subduing effect and then rising, so it's better to use some exaggerated, explosive words like "The sun shines through the clouds and the fog spreads the warmth of the world" (it's great to use your original personification, but think about it).

Finally, you might as well quote someone else's quote that can be put in quotation marks: "Winter is coming, will spring be far away?" ”

A few questions for you:

1: Why isn't it too cold this winter for yours.

2: Can you focus on the reason why it's not too cold?

3: What does the vicissitudes of memory have to do with whether they are cold or not?

Please think about these questions, rewrite them again, and pass them on. Maybe then someone will really take it seriously for you.

Cut out irrelevant words.

Dream of only one sun in the sky.

We have a lot of wishes in our hearts.

As long as we grow well.

Wishes can also become the sun.

Looking back, those years.

Time is like water. It's fleeting.

Looking back, those years.

Joy and sorrow are intertwined.

In the fall of that year. Shouldering the expectations of parents.

With the wings of dreams.

Step into the temple of curiosity.

Pure friendship. Rich in teacher's kindness.

Time passes. Reluctance and attachment.

It's still coming.

Stick to the promise.

In that familiar place.

Separately in the summer of that year.

With the fear of the unfamiliar.

Possess a desire for dreams.

Step into a new world.

The sound of Langlang books. Laughter.

And you under the flag.

Welcome the newborn sunrise together.

Farewell to the colorful glow by the small bridge.

Time flies. Three years.

It's already over halfway through. Cherish, cherish.

Time flies. No more childishness.

No more disputes. You are full and happy.

Looking back, those years.

Make it to the plug.

Wang Wei wants to ask the side, and the subject country lives in the extended.

Zheng Peng out of Hanse, return to the wild goose into Hu Tian.

The desert is lonely, and the sun sets over the long river.

Xiao Guan waited to ride, and he was all protected by Yan Ran.

Among them, the famous sentence is: the desert is lonely, and the sun sets on the long river.

Meaning: I have to inspect the frontier with a light car, and the place I want to go is far away from Juyan.

I floated out of Hanse like a fluffy grass, and flew into the sky of the Hu people like a returning goose.

In the desert, the lonely smoke rises up, and the sun sets on the edge of the Yellow River.

When I walked to Xiao Pass, I happened to meet a scout on horseback, and the former enemy commander was on the front line of Yanran.

This poem expresses the poet's loneliness, loneliness, sentimentality, and wandering loneliness due to exclusion, as well as the generosity and tragedy generated after the emotions are edified, purified, and sublimated in the majestic scenery of the desert, revealing a heroic nature, reflecting the life of Biansai, and also revealing the author's admiration for Duhu.

Long song line Han Yuefu.

In the green garden, the sunflower waits for the sun.

Yangchun Budeze, all things are brilliant.

Often afraid of the autumn festival, the yellow leaves of the yellow flower decline.

Hundreds of rivers from the east to the sea, when to return to the west.

The young man does not work hard, and the boss is sad.

Liangzhou word Wang Han.

Grape wine luminous glass, want to drink the pipa immediately urge.

Drunk and lying on the battlefield, Jun Mo smiled, and a few people came back to fight in ancient times.

Famous sentence: Drunk and lying on the battlefield, Jun Mo smiled, and a few people came back to fight in ancient times.

Meaning: The glow-in-the-dark cup was filled with wine, and the warriors raised their glasses to drink heartily, when they suddenly remembered the sound of the lute and urged them to set off at once and go into battle.

Soldiers are drunk and lying on the battlefield, don't laugh at it, you must know that since ancient times, how many people can come back from the battlefield safely?

This poem describes the scene of the banquet before the soldiers of the feudal society set out to fight, showing the cruelty of the war and the pain brought to the warriors going to war.