I m going crazy living with the elderly, is it okay to live with the elderly?

Sensei is tolerant, either let him go out to live or you take your husband out to live, such an old man is a scourge, otherwise you will make it clear in front of him, it's not that he can't do without his son, no one marries another woman's to be angry, if you want to live well, everyone is harmonious, if you want to find trouble, no one is the master who is bullied! The old man was afraid of this, and if he scared him a few times, he would be honest.

Many things are ingrained in the elderly, don't try to change anything, the old people are old, the younger generations can endure it, and if they can't bear it, they will hide, no matter how they quarrel with the elders, it is the fault of the younger generations. At least that's the traditional concept of the Chinese.

Life is short, it's only a few decades, why bother to make yourself unhappy, I want to open it, hehe.

Even if the old people are not the same, they are already in their prime, so those who are younger generations should bear with it more. Besides, it is they who raise the people you love the most, and you should learn to be more tolerant of the elderly based on this!

If you live in such an environment for a long time, you will get sick, let's separate, think of a way, buy a house on your behalf. The new life will be very self-contained.

If you have the ability, you can move out by yourself. . . Just give the old man some money. Why live together?

The more the elderly like to take advantage, the more they can live.

Sometimes there are many ** in two generations, and there are indeed many inconvenient and uncomfortable places to live together. If you can, move out, or let the elderly rent a house. If you don't have that condition, you can only endure defeat and treat the other party's old man as your own old man.

Don't force yourself to live with the elderly, because food, housing and transportation are all at a different pace, and conflicts will accumulate over time.

Many people have no choice but to live together, and the elderly are reluctant to live with their children if they can. It's just that it's better to be closer, and you can take care of it. It's not that living together is filial piety.

The new society does not engage in moral kidnapping. After all, from a social point of view, it is two families. But not living together does not affect filial piety to parents, and the relationship will be better if you gather more to take care of the elderly.

I've lived together for a long time, and I don't have any feelings.

The living habits of the elderly are different from those of young people, but the best way to honor their parents is to live next to them and keep a bowl of soup away; In addition, the old man doesn't care about the affairs of the young people, and even his parents can't stand it if they take care of your eating, drinking, and Lazar every day. Older people need to understand this.

As long as you don't dislike the elderly from the bottom of your heart, this mentality and situation can be understood. After all, young and old people have different living rules and different eating habits, so try not to live together. The best way to keep your distance and maintain your relationship is not to live together.

It is normal for young people to be reluctant to live with the elderly at home, unless they are the kind of people who are financially gnawing at the old and have to treat the elderly as labor and cannot do without the help of the elderly. First of all, the work and rest time is inconsistent, the elderly go to bed early and get up early, and the young people go to bed late and get up late, living together will affect each other, and they will not be used to each other for a long time, resulting in contradictions; Secondly, the eating habits are different, the elderly eat lightly and softly, while the young people just do not, they pursue the taste more, and it is also troublesome if they can't eat together; Third, there is a big difference in consumption concepts, the elderly are generally more frugal, leftovers are reluctant to throw away, old clothes and old furniture are reluctant to throw away, and some elderly people also like to pick up things to go home, and the house is full. Young people like shopping, online shopping, the pursuit of fashion, etc., and some elderly people also want to interfere, which leads to disgust among young people.

Fourth, worldview, values, parenting views, etc., can lead to unpleasant getting along. Therefore, now many elderly people feel that it is thankless to contribute money and efforts, and they are very aggrieved and can't figure it out. I am also an elderly person, and I do not advocate living with young people who are able to take care of themselves.

The elderly should have their own circle of life, do what they are interested in, and not worry about the young people. I've seen a mother point out her son's clothes every day, saying that jeans are dirty and torn, and they have to be thrown away, and it's not funny!

When I was a child, I may still have a desire for the love of my parents, but once I have been around for a long time, I have slowly adapted to the life at my grandparents' house, and I have been taken care of without the love of my father and mother, and I no longer look forward to it, I will be more indifferent.

Generally, the elderly do not have the consciousness of intellectual development and character cultivation, what they are most concerned about is whether you are full, as long as you eat a lot and fragrant, they are very happy, and there is a kind of small pride that lives up to the entrustment.

I think the biggest impact is that I am not so close to my parents, I am more dependent on my grandparents, and I have a better relationship with them. But it is also very likely that children will have a sense of distance from others from an early age, and they don't like to be with others very much.

When I was a child, my parents put me at my grandparents' house because they were busy with work, and because I was close to them, I also called them grandparents. Then only on Saturdays and Sundays would my parents pick me up.

At my grandparents' house, although they were very kind to me, and my uncles, aunts, cousins, and cousins from the Zhibei Department also took good care of me, I always had a feeling that I was a stranger. I think it might be better at my grandparents' house, but if my grandparents have other children and grandchildren to take care of, it will inevitably be a bit biased. These are all things that need to be faced.

In particular, if there are many children, all kinds of snacks and toys that need to be distributed at home will inevitably cause disputes, and if adults do not deal with them well, they will leave conflicts, resulting in disharmony between children.

If everyone were left-behind children, the situation might be better. But if everyone else has their own parents and they don't, in such a comparison, they will be more or less disappointed. On rainy days, everyone else has parents with umbrellas to pick up their children, while their grandparents are not feeling well, their legs and feet are inconvenient, so they can only rush home in the rain to ......

There are also some children who like to make fun of other people's families, and they will say that those who are with their grandparents are children who have no parents, otherwise why haven't they seen their parents before......

Think about it, if it is a child, can he understand why his parents let him go at his grandparents' house while he is fighting outside? Of course not, these can be understood later, at that time, when I was a child, I was more resentful.

It's best to live separately, young people have their own space, and the elderly have their own space, if you really have to live together, you have to be tolerant and enlarge your heart.

In fact, this is also a problem that many people are facing now, whether to live with the elderly after marriage, there have been related problems before, and the current view is also very clear, that is, it is better not to live together. If you want to talk about what it's like to live together, if there are such people around you, you will know that kind of feeling very well, and it can be said that it is very painful.

It's not that if you don't live together, it's not good to be filial to the older generation, just because there will be a lot of contradictions when you live together, but you, as a junior, have to be humble, and you can't let the old people have some psychological burden.

Why is this the case, if you live together, because of the different eras, there will definitely be a lot of differences in thinking, but it is difficult to achieve the effect of consensus, so it is inevitable that there will be emotional problems, of course, this is just a relatively serious statement, the light is that we don't need to respect each other, but we can only be cautious in our words, and we can't break each other's defense lines, so that each other is very uncomfortable. This leads to a life of imminent life.

I don't think it's really necessary.

So this is the so-called feeling of living with the elderly, relatively speaking, it is better to meet that kind of thinking that is very up-to-date, but if the thinking is very conservative and conservative, it must be more uncomfortable to get along, because we can't let one change our character in the long run, after all, it has been formed from a very young age, which is not a very good idea.

Economically it is difficult to distinguish between them, and it is easy to magnify the contradictions. Usually, the family has nothing, but as long as there is a quarrel, the economy will be involved, saying who doesn't get living expenses, who often buys vegetables, etc., there are many contradictions.

Finally, as I said, parents interfere in their children's marital issues. Originally, it was a conflict between the young couple, maybe it would be fine in a few days, or one party would apologize, but as a result, the old man got involved, and things changed, especially when the man's family counted the daughter-in-law alone, it would really chill the daughter-in-law.

Therefore, if you can live with the old man after marriage, you will not live with the old man, and everyone knows this truth.

The first good: the housework is taken care of, and the children are in charge of picking up and dropping off.

When they get up in the morning, the elderly will make breakfast early, pick up and drop off their children to and from school, not to mention lunch and dinner.

The clothes at home are dried, the dishes are washed and cleaned, and the elderly are all arranged together, and the young couple only need to go to work and accompany the children, which is so fragrant that it takes off.

Second best: no worries about work.

Temporarily received from the unit**, you can put down the work in your hand and leave as soon as you say. Because I know that there are elderly people in the family who will take good care of the children.

Even if you have to work overtime or study, you don't have to be pitiful and get up in the middle of the night to do it after falling asleep with your child; Not to mention getting up at four or five o'clock in the morning - sometimes, self-discipline is also forced.

The third best: less conflict between husband and wife.

There are always some trivial things between husband and wife, if there is no old man at home, the young couple will have to quarrel and overturn the roof. But if there are elderly people in the family, they will take care of some old people, and they will say less to each other.

Besides, the old people all hope that their children will live well, and when they see the little couple making trouble, they will come out to be "peacemakers"!

I don't know if you have lived with the elders in your family after getting married. I was married and lived with my father-in-law and mother-in-law. As the saying goes, if there is a treasure in the family, the age is still relatively young when you get married, and some daily life plans are not yet known, such as decorating the house, what materials to buy, interior design styles, how many cabinets to make, etc., father-in-law and mother-in-law have given the experience of the past.

They not only contribute money but also effort, although it is not what they imagined after the renovation, but some trivial details do have a lot of practical functions.

There are also small things in daily life such as grocery shopping, I like to buy online and forget it, but my father-in-law and mother-in-law always say that the vegetables bought online are expensive and not fresh. They always go to the supermarket or wet market early every day to pick up fresh vegetables and meats, they always remember which market has discounts, which supermarket has special promotions, and the big refrigerator at home is full of food. Whenever they talk about how much the food they bought today is discounted, they are full of triumphant smiles, maybe they have gone through hard years and know how to be thrifty and thrifty.

Another point is the biggest benefit, living with them, always feel that there is a backer who can really help you with ideas. No matter what troubles you encounter at work, talk to them, and they will always provide some useful specific cases and references based on their past experiences.

Of course, young people and old people have lived together for a long time, and they will also encounter some conceptual conflicts. For example, young people's consumption concepts, ways and means of raising children, they always want to convince you from traditional concepts to do it in their way. I don't know readers, what are your feelings about living with the elderly, you can discuss it in the message area.

1. There is a strong sense of being regulated.

If you live with an elderly person who is in control or has been helping you as a child. You will feel like you are a person who is controlled at every turn. How to dress, how to eat, how to do housework, how to take care of the baby, they will all put forward their own opinions, and they will all find out your shortcomings.

2. There is a strong sense of guilt.

If you live with the elderly who love to complain, they will continue to confide in you about their efforts and their hard work, and gradually you will have a strong sense of guilt, feel that they are paying a real attitude, and try your best to make up for them.

Third, there is also a sense of happiness.

In any case, as long as they are old people who love to control and talk, in fact, they all have a characteristic of being responsible, no matter what, they will share some housework for you, and they will take care of the children for you, so that you will also experience happiness.

Living with the elderly, we must correct our mentality, know how to make trade-offs, take the feeling of happiness, give up the feeling of troubles, turn a blind eye to the troubled places, and hear the troubles in one ear and one ear out, so that you will feel that living with the elderly is still very happy, after all, there is a saying: there is an old family if there is a treasure.