How do you become a bounded person?

If you want to become a person with boundaries, you must first know your bottom line, there will always be things in your life that you care about very much, and even dare not touch it easily, if you have it, that is your bottom line.

Many times we will slowly give up the original heart because of external things, so I think everything can be abandoned, and the bottom line is that we must not abandon it. The bottom line is not only your way of expressing but also your attitude, so whether others care or not, you must have a correct attitude yourself.

I believe that my parents have not asked less about what kind of person you want to be, but only when you walk into the moment when you really make up your mind is the real you. If you want to be a person with boundaries, you must first figure out what your boundaries are, and which way is really to anger you.

And I think you can show direct dissatisfaction when others inadvertently touch, but there is no need to really be angry with him, after all, no one knows from the beginning what dishes you really care about, and when you do it again for the second time, you can completely lose face to him, don't say that there should be more tolerance between friends or something, if you know that there is no need to make this kind of friend who is still guilty.

Learn self-control. You have to understand what you need to do and what boundaries you can't cross. There are too many people who have done unforgivable things because of their poor self-control.

For example, if I am a boyfriend, then I have to learn self-control, and I will not do things that make my boyfriend sad. You can't have any inexplicable ambiguity with friends of the opposite sex, you can't often chat with friends of the opposite sex, and you can't go out alone with friends of the opposite sex.

This is the most basic thing I have to do, and it is also the most basic respect for a relationship, learn to respect each other, otherwise how can others respect you. If I hadn't had self-control, maybe I would have crossed the line. So I asked myself to have my own boundaries on this point.

When it comes to dealing with my friends, I also need to learn to respect others and not go beyond boundaries. No matter how familiar you get along with friends, everyone has their own bottom line, we must have our own moderation to get along, we can't do things that are sorry for our friends, and we can't betray our friends. The friendship before a friend is the most precious thing, and only if you treat others with your heart can you get the good of others.

Everything is mutual.

Don't blindly want to get good from others, but don't give it yourself. When talking to friends, you must learn to respect others, don't make jokes about others, don't slander others, and be a person with boundaries is a person with good personal character. Learning to control yourself and respect others can make you a bounded person.

Then you must stick to your own principles, don't be a wall-to-wall grass, you will be shaken by what others say, and you must have the correct values and outlook on life and right and wrong.

For example, when making a decision, you already have a choice in mind. It doesn't cause any harm to others, it's just a little slower to succeed, but you become at a loss because of a group of people's side knocks.

Slowly began to waver in his own choices, and became demonic for the untouchable interests, and did things that hurt others.

We must be firm in our choices, because our own life path is our own and should not be controlled by others, and no one will be willing to bear it for us if something happens.

The boundaries of all things should be in our hearts at all times. It's like our shadow, and we stay with us. We must strictly follow the plan we have made!

You must not do things outside the boundary, because it is not right to do so, and you will have to bear the consequences that you can't bear, but the gains outweigh the losses. As a human being, we must abide by the rules of this world and the requirements of this society.

Otherwise, you will become an outlier, and if everyone does what they do without boundaries, the world will become a mess, and that is very scary.

To be a bounded person is very simple, concentration is very important! No matter what you do, you must have a scale in your heart, and you must know very clearly what you want.

It's like preparing for an exam, you know your level well, and at the same time you know what your gap is to a passing grade and a perfect score, so there will be a direction when you are revising. There are many ways to review the process, you can review according to the key points drawn by the teacher, or you can review according to your own key points. In addition, during the exam, when you finish the review, you will have a little bit of a count for yourself, and you can choose to complete the exam by yourself, or rely on the help of others to complete it, or you can also make a cheat sheet to complete the exam by yourself.

Then you can consider the boundaries of what you can do, it depends on what you think!

If you want to be a bounded person, you have to have a clear understanding of yourself when you do anything. At the same time, learn to weigh the pros and cons, know what you really want, and know what the consequences will be when you don't do it in a regular way!

have their own principles of life; Stick to your heart. People live in the world, and we come and go in this concrete world. It's always inevitable to associate with all kinds of people.

Whether it is work or life, we are always insisting, retreating, and evading, and in this process, some people still do not change their true colors after experiencing wind and rain; Some people have gone through hardships, smoothed out all the edges and corners, and become smooth and smooth. There are also people who have lost themselves in the crowd and would rather go with the flow.

have their own principles of life; It is not easy for people to live in the world, it is not easy to live, and it is even more difficult to live in this hurried society. But since it's not easy, why can't we live a self and live as a person with boundaries?

Therefore, first of all, you must have your own life principles as a human being. No matter how the people around you change, they are not you, we must know what we really want and what is acceptable. There is no compromise on anything.

These are simple to say, but to really stick to them, you need to have a strong sense of principle and a firm heart.

Stick to your heart. What people say the most now is: don't forget your original intention.

This so-called original intention is the original heart of people, and in many years of life and work, many people will lose their original heart for many factors in the world. If you want to be a boundary, then stick to your heart. Whatever you're going through, start by thinking about what your original heart was.

Everyone exists in this society and has its own boundaries. If you don't want to be crossed by others, you should not cross the line yourself. But in many cases, we cross the line so easily.

Scenario 1: It's cold, wear more clothes. If there is less food to eat, eat more. How do you know if your child is cold and hasn't eaten enough? Children have their own judgments.

How much to eat and how much to wear, parents have to control such small things, and what autonomy can children have.

Scenario 2: Picking up vegetables. When cooking, if the child does not like to eat, we may give her vegetables, because every vegetable must be eaten, so that the nutrition is balanced.

What you don't like to eat now won't be a lifetime when you don't like it. Most of the time it depends on chance, and at some point you may fall in love with a dish or food that you didn't like to eat before.

Scene 3: Respect for the elderly. Parents like to farm and pick up plastic bottles to sell for money, but we will feel that our parents have lost face and should not do these things.

To truly respect the old traveler is to support parents to do what they like. Parents just need to feel meaningful and valuable.

Scenario 4: Urging marriage. When the child reaches 27-28, he doesn't get married, and his parents die in a hurry, why don't they get married. When you are old, what should you do alone?

When exactly will you get married, the children know better than you. It's useless to be anxious as a parent, it's better to go with the flow.

Scenario 5: Persuasion. When we have friends who want to divorce, we always persuade us not to divorce, because the children are so old, what kind of divorce will we get.

But why don't we empathize with people, when people reach middle age, if they can't bear it, who will think about divorce.

There will be countless scenes in life, and we will interfere in them. We want to be a free and easy person, then, children and the elderly, they also need free air, free environment, and do what they like.

Don't restrain others, if you want to restrain yourself. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Always remember the first words of being a human being.

Personally, I think the boundaries between people should be grasped in stages and roles

Lovers are very intimate most of the time, but they also need to leave a little space and mystery for each other;

Between colleagues, because there is always a relationship between competition and work distribution, politeness is the mainstay, and like-minded career partners are hard to find;

For this question, I think this depends on the specific situation, because this is to look at your relationship with other people, after all, this is your own interaction with others. You may have felt this way, thinking that you have a good relationship with him, and you made a joke with him, but he got angry and no longer wanted to deal with you, maybe you think that he is too cautious, in fact, it is because you always use "I think" to judge the relationship between two people, but ignore the real feelings of the other party.

The most important principle of interpersonal communication is the sense of boundaries, in every relationship, distance can produce beauty, so, when getting along with people, whether it is what you say or do with the other party, you must be moderate, and keep a proper distance from the other party, and never touch the bottom line of others.

Only in this way can both parties be in contact in a more comfortable state, only in this way will the relationship between the two sides be longer, and only in this way can both parties get along happily.

Speak with respect for the other person, think more about the other person, and don't think only of yourself.

There is always such a person who feels that she has a straightforward personality, so she has the right to point fingers at the people around her, she will say in front of everyone that one of them will not dress, and never consider that person will be very faceless, she will gossip to you in front of you, and never consider your feelings.

Such a person, no one will be willing to get close to her, because getting along with her will be very tiring, we must not be open-mouthed, do not forget to maintain a sense of boundaries between people, control yourself.

Especially when chatting with friends, remember to respect the other person when you speak, you are not him, there is no way to empathize, but at least learn to consider the other person's feelings, maybe your relationship is not familiar enough to blame each other.

Don't blame others for your troubles just because you're close.

When I was in college, everyone may have this experience, the roommates in the same dormitory always push all kinds of troubles to themselves, whether it is to pick up a courier or make a copy, these things that can be done by themselves, they have to be helped by others to complete them, although they don't want to help, but there is really no reason to refuse them.

They don't understand that there should be a sense of boundaries between people, they only feel that the relationship with you is close, you must help her with this favor, if you don't help, it's your fault, when getting along with people, you really can't have a sense of boundaries, and you can't just live in your own world, and don't care about other people's feelings at all.

Even if you love someone no matter how much you love you, you can't ask him to meet all the requirements you make, even if it's your best friend, you can't say unreasonable things, you can't ask people for help with everything, don't break the boundaries between two people, take care of the relationship with the people around you, don't always make others very difficult.

- Friends of Wine and Meat: Huge quantities. Interact with them, their starting point is to obtain material benefits together, whether it is to cooperate to make money, or to pave the way for potential cooperation to make money in the future, and interact with them, they don't want to be honest with each other, people who do this are fools, and finally be played around by friends who drink and meat, and cry everywhere, saying that they pay sincerely in exchange for evil results or something, I think it is his own ignorance, he doesn't know the classification of friends, the result of his ignorance, the other party has not broken the law, what are you crying for!

General friends: There are a lot of them, and their interactions with you are really not for the purpose of obtaining any material benefits, but also not for the purpose of obtaining spiritual benefits, which is the "experience of truth, goodness and beauty" that I just said. When you interact with them, remember not to let them lose material benefits, once your behavior makes them lose material benefits, it is normal to turn your face, don't worry about it.

Isn't it science that each different relationship obeys different laws?

Good friend: It is also necessary not to harm the material interests of others, but there is also the experience of obtaining truth, goodness and beauty. If you think about your classmates from childhood to adulthood, many of them have an average relationship with you, you don't get along, and you can't and don't care if you can get the experience of truth, goodness and beauty in getting along, but a few good friends in these classmates, you will care a lot about getting along with each other to get the experience of truth, goodness and beauty.

The colleague you just said, think about it now, can you get the experience of truth, goodness and beauty in your relationship with him? If not, why do you define him as a good friend?! Or even if you can always get the experience of truth, goodness and beauty, but does he always get it, does he define you as a good friend?

If not, you've misclassified your friend in the first place!

Confidant: This level is very rare, a person may meet a confidant in his life, or he may be unfortunate and he will not meet him. But even if he encounters, it is impossible to have more than 2 in his life, at most 2, and more, that is, the threshold for his confidant division is too low, or he thinks he is a confidant, and the other party actually just regards him as a good friend.

You see that wine and meat friends, ordinary friends and good friends all involve material interests, but the confidant layer is completely involved in spiritual interests, that is, in the relationship between the two parties, what is completely valued is the experience of truth, goodness and beauty.