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I think the secret is for two people to respect each other and support each other through the most difficult years.
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The secret of the love of the older generation can last for a long time is mutual respect and trust, which are two very important points for the harmony of husband and wife, as long as these two points are done well, any quarrels in married life will be solved in time.
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The secret of the long-term love of the older generation is to respect each other like guests, and if the husband and wife have a good relationship, they can last for a long time.
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The love of the older generation can last so long, mainly for these reasons.
The first reason is that the older generation firmly believes that since two people are married, they must share responsibilities for the family, raise their children well, and be filial to their elders. Regardless of birth, old age, sickness and death, we must never give up, life and death depend on each other, and we will grow old together. There are not so many romances and dreams, not so many unrealistic ideas.
Only the glory of labor, hard-working, and the spirit of the old scalper! At that time, there were very few divorced people, and they couldn't raise their heads anywhere after divorce, for fear of being laughed at. At that time, if the two were divorced, the children were easily discriminated against by others, which was not conducive to the healthy growth of the children, so the love of the older generation was relatively long.
The second reason is that people in that era did not have excessively high requirements, which may be that the general environment does not allow it. Therefore, their minds are calm, and their lives are simple and long. Now that the conditions are good, the general environment has changed people's sense of life, the requirements are getting higher and higher, the pressure is getting bigger and bigger, and the mood is becoming more and more impetuous, so it has brought a lot of unstable factors to people's lives, and love has not lasted as long as the older generation.
The third reason is that the older generation did not live as rich as they do now, so stability has become their greatest pursuit. At the same time, in the marriage of the older generation, the division of labor is particularly clear, and most of them are male and female, and no one can do without anyone. They have an almost obsessive quest for the integrity of their marriage.
The most important thing is that they always like to wronged themselves to fulfill others, and in marriage they consider children and the elderly, which is not as simple as selflessness, but they feel that this is a matter of course, because they feel that the family is an inseparable part of their lives. I know that many parents in families like to say to their children: If it weren't for you, I would have divorced your parents a long time ago.
In fact, the children don't have to be too stressed, even if there is no you, there will be other children, they don't want to divorce you is the reason, they really divorce you are a burden, so they will not divorce without you.
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Maybe it's because they live a down-to-earth life, and they won't be very strong and independent.
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1. Different from modern young people, the love of the older generation is to get married first and then fall in love, pay attention to the sense of ceremony, do not meet before marriage, do not understand, and even strangers, after marriage, love is like a seed, which only breaks the ground and sprouts at the moment of marriage. On the wedding night, the groom picks up the bride's red headcloth, and the two are destined to stay together for the rest of their lives. The older generation obeys the orders of their parents and the words of the matchmaker.
Even so, the divorce rate of Chang Nayan is extremely low, and they are full of each other, and they grow old and live as the envy of young people.
2. The love of the older generation is like a pot of old wine, which needs to be tasted slowly, and the more you taste, the more flavorful it is. The love of the older generation is the years of boiling wine, the more it is cooked, the more fragrant it becomes, starting from strangers and finally staying together. It's not vigorous, it's better than a long stream.
Even if there are stumbles in life, the older generation knows how to tolerate and humble each other, wait for each other, support each other, and live a lifetime of old age. In love, it is more about thinking about each other, and responding to the sentence "If you are good, I will be good, and if you are good at home". The older generation's view of love is more conducive to family stability.
3. The love of the older generation pays attention to promises, from the beginning to the end. Due to the influence of the times, the older generation attaches more importance to starting from the beginning and keeping promises. After the man left, the woman gave birth to a son, and the woman guarded the son for decades, waiting for the man to return, and the woman waited for love as a day, and did not change her heart for decades.
His former wife is still at home waiting for him to come back, and the family is already full of children and grandchildren.
Compared with today's free love, many young people do not understand the love of the older generation, thinking that it is not love, at most family affection. Regardless of family affection or love, the love of the older generation is deeper, longer-term, and stronger than the love of young people today.
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When it comes to love, each of us wants to be able to have our own love.
Because I know that love is very happy, and it is also very sweet, especially when we meet someone we like very much. Being with the people we like, caring for each other, so that we can have a happier and sweeter love with the people we like.
We see that many young people nowadays are very unrestrained in their love. After meeting someone they like, they will immediately show their love to each other, or even confess directly. But sometimes, it is precisely because their love is so direct that they can have love.
But compared to the older generation, which has a lot of young people, their love is actually not like this, direct. So some people just want to know what actions make you feel that the love of the older generation is in the details. We all know that for the older generation, they live in a different era than they are now.
Because people weren't as open as they are now. Therefore, in terms of the concept of love, the older generation is not as open as the young people of today. For example, there are a lot of older generations, when they meet someone they like.
Maybe the way they express their love is a letter. Or a note. But when he can be with the person he likes, they will not show that they are very enthusiastic, but will care more about each other and take care of each other in their daily life.
Let's say they will make breakfast for each other in the morning. When the other person wants to drink water, they will pour it for their beloved. When their loved ones need help, they will always be the first to lend a helping hand.
So we see that the Zheng family has a lot of holes in the older generation, and they are not as direct as young people in terms of love. They treat love with a caring look in their ordinary details. A simple word of concern.
It's these seemingly inconspicuous details. But it has achieved the beautiful love of the older generation. And let the older generation care and love each other like this, so that their love is more sweet and long-lasting.
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The older generation is more shy in the way they express their love, and they have never said "I love you" in their lives, but they have been doing "I love you" in the details all their lives. Compared with the vigorous real love of young people now, the love of the older generation that accompanies each other for a lifetime can be more moving from the bottom of their hearts.
1. The love of the older generation seems to be very simple. Grandpa was always naughty like a child in front of his grandmother, and sometimes he liked to say all kinds of things to deliberately make his grandmother angry, and when his grandmother showed an angry expression, he would immediately run over to make grandma laugh with a smile. When he buys something, his grandfather always thinks about her, but whenever his grandmother mentions it, he has to buy it for her.
Second, my grandparents often quarrel and quarrel over many things.
In the old tense quarreled over a cigarette and in the present tense quarreled over a glass of wine. Grandpa has never been in good health, and he was pressured by his grandmother to quit smoking, but now he can't quit drinking. Grandma couldn't help him, so she had to laugh and scold him, and care how much he drank every day.
Grandpa will play tricks every day, and grandma often shouts and orders "end here", and then the grandfather who continues to play tricks is angry and threatens to ignore him again. But when grandpa was uncomfortable, she was still very worried. Maybe sweet love, we are hard to find now, but we can still hold on to its hope and hope for the future to continue to live.
Three, grandma is two years older than grandpa, when he was young, grandpa had a very bad temper, grandma suffered a lot of grievances, I heard my father say that once grandma really couldn't stand it and ran away from home, and didn't go far but frightened grandpa, since then there is a dispute, as long as the milk Lu Lu Xima stands up or walks around, grandpa will immediately shut up and stop quarreling and go to close the door first.
Fourth, grandma especially likes to eat durian, the first time I ate it, grandpa smelled it, and immediately pouted and said, "Don't bring such stinky things home." The next day, grandpa pinched his nose and brought back a durian from outside, and said to grandma with a smile on his face
Wife, give, eat enough".
The love story of the older generation, there are not too many sweet words, in that era, there were no flowers, no chocolate, and no diamond rings, but it was the most genuine love. The most touching love words at that time may not be "I love you", but "I want to grow old with you." ”
After reaching a certain age, love is consumed, and only family affection remains. But looking back at the bits and pieces of the older generation, love is not only there, but the weight of love has become heavier, adding the selfless dedication of family affection. I used to shout that I didn't believe in love, but I also began to envy them, so that our concerns and thoughts have become eternal and full because of love, and have become meaningful.
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The love of the parents of the older generation I think is still worth learning from now!
Many of the parents' generation were introduced to each other on a blind date, but they were able to live with each other in this life, compared to us now, to see if the current divorce rate should be considered.
I think the love of parents has been transformed into family affection, I have been thinking about why parents and the older generation in the past, why they can live for a long time, but now we can't do it, I think they value responsibility more. They regard marriage as a responsibility and obligation, and they may have a lot of quarrels and unhappiness, but they do not have such impulses as we do now, one is the world, the shackles of thoughts and concepts. The second is where the sense of responsibility lies.
When we look at our parents with our current eyes, we feel that their quarrels, angry scoldings or fights, etc., may seem so unhappy to us, but this is precisely the real life, trivialities, firewood, rice, oil, salt, etc., but in our current opinion, it is already some unbearable and unbearable behavior.
So I'm thinking about what the love of the older generation is, I think it's not the same as the love we advocate now, there should not be so many rules and regulations at that time, but it is a real life, at that time, we must first solve the problem of food and clothing, when you are hungry, others give you a bowl of rice and a piece of soup, as we see on TV or movies, there are not so many rhetoric, only real actions, happiness and sharing, there are difficulties together, and you will not dislike you is not very poor, It's more about whether it's good or not, these are things that can be felt in life, and what we can learn from our parents is not the so-called love?
Care, love, always think about each other even if the head is broken and the heart is in one place, even if they are cold and hungry, they will give their other half the best, and almost all parents can endure everything for their next generation, I think these are the most perfect interpretation of love! And these are exactly the most simple love we are looking for.
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I think the love of the older generation is very beautiful, and the reason why their love lasts for a long time is that they can live with a peaceful mind.
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In fact, most of the older generation of them met each other through blind dates or matchmakers, and then considered getting married, although it is possible that they did not know each other at first, but slowly ran in through getting along in the future. I think the secret to their cheating love for so long is to trust each other, respect each other, and start from the beginning.
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I think the love of the older generation is quite long, and it is also very enviable. The secret of the shelf life of their love is because they know how to understand each other and how to quarrel with each other. And I also know that when there is a conflict, cavity rocks tolerate each other.
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Detail 1: My parents have been married for more than 40 years, and they can still find the shadow of love in the details of their relationship. My mother has a quick temper, and sometimes when she gets angry, she can babble and lecture my dad for more than an hour, but my dad never talks back, but silently listens patiently with a wrong expression.
When my mom was tired of scolding, my dad would always hand me a glass of water at the right time, and then pretend to turn on the TV that my mom liked to watch unintentionally, so as to attract my mom's attention, and then the argument ended. Detail 2: My dad likes to ask my mom to do the same thing with him, such as sweeping the floor, my dad sweeps one side, and he asks my mom to sweep the other side; It's the same with watching TV, even if you don't like it, you have to stay with my mom.
Although my mom often disliked my dad, she always talked about it and was honest in action. I was very puzzled by this, and quietly asked my dad, and my dad replied to me: "Because I do the same thing as your mom, we talk a lot, and it's the same when I watch TV, I like to see people happy with me in the highlights, and of course your mom needs such a partner."
Although your mother often dislikes me, I'm used to it, and it's uncomfortable to not listen occasionally. "[Heart] detail three: My dad doesn't like to play ** with others, and we as children give him ** generally no more than three points, and the atmosphere of the old bell is so embarrassing that he can't talk.
But my mom is an exception. A while ago, my father's foot was empty and his right foot was fractured, because of the epidemic prevention and control, the patient could only leave one companion by his side, so this heavy responsibility was handed over to my brother, and my mother could only wait at home. Later, my mother called me **, and told me that she called my dad **** every night, and I quipped:
Did you call Dad? How many minutes did we talk? "Soon, just ten or twenty minutes.
I can't imagine that my reticent father could talk to my mother so well. My mother once whispered to me that if a person has you in his heart, just look at what he does. Maybe it's my dad who melts love into the details that my mom can be so unscrupulously critical of my dad, maybe my mom is always the exception in my dad, so my mom can dare to spend the rest of her life betting on my dad when he has nothing.
It turns out that the love hidden in the details of the older generation is also very good.
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The worst parenting advice of the older generation of our family is that kindergarten begins to require children to be like other people's families, how many Tang poems can be memorized, can count, can write, and talk at home every day, as long as you see the child playing, watching TV will feel uncomfortable, and begin to say that you should teach him knowledge, children can not play happily in kindergarten, do you have to wait for college graduation to play freely? Will he still play then? I've always believed that children who can play are smart.