A sketch of about 300 words, and a funny sketch of about 300 words are urgent

Shoes. In his spare time, he wrote something and published something. The chairman of the Municipal Writers' Association is a fellow countryman, and he persuaded me to join the Writers' Association.

Just get in. Anyway, if you pay two or three hundred yuan a year, you can usually participate in seminars on what works, and if you want to publish a book in the future, you can also buy a book number collectively, which is cheaper.

The most important thing is that I have been a proper writer since I joined the Writers' Association. My only flaw is vanity. I think it's so cool to be called a writer by others.

On this day, on the bus, I gave up my seat to an old man. The old man was grateful and started talking to me. "Young man, what unit do you work in? The old man asked.

I would have liked to say that I was a teacher at so-and-so middle school. But when you think of so many people in the car, why not show it off? Thinking of this, I replied, "Writer's Association." ”

Ay! It's good to make shoes. Now the shoes sold in shoe stores are of very poor quality and are too unwearable.

A lot of people like to have their shoes made to order. So, you have a great future in this business. Leave me an address, and I'll make a pair from you another day.

The old man said.

Categories: Art >> cross talk sketches.

Analysis: Group comedy "Eight Immortals New Year's Greetings".

Jiang Kun: My donkey's exhaust gas is not up to standard, so I won't be allowed to go on the road.

He Xiangu: I've become a spotted bamboo, why do I go back to heaven?

Wang Ping: My ears are not in the service area. I've replaced the parts of the reed feaster, and the nose is a back pad, and I can't recognize Xiangqian when I go back.

Sketch "Talking about Things".

Wonderful 1 Zhao Benshan: The people we have talked about are not good, Zhao Zhongxiang's "Animal World" is not allowed to be broadcast, Ni Ping is not the host and has changed the route, and Cui Yongyuan can't sleep.

Wonderful 2 Zhao Benshan: Now I don't tell the truth, but I change it to talk about things.

Cui Yongyuan: Our show is still based on telling the truth.

Zhao Benshan: It's okay, the ratings of this show are low.

Wonderful 3 Cui Yongyuan: I heard that you are living a little poor now?

Zhao Benshan: What do you say, IOU? Yes, there are a lot of IOUs in hand right now.

Song Dandan: People are talking about sanitary ware, which is the one that goes to the toilet and runs water.

Zhao Benshan: Not yet, now the whole two boards are set up there.

Cui Yongyuan: I'm talking about poverty, which means that life is a little difficult.

Wonderful 4 Cui Yongyuan: Auntie, just talk about your life after you two go back.

Song Dandan: These are all introduced in my new work "Confinement 2".

Zhao Benshan: At the beginning, I had to cut the ribbon by others.

Song Dandan: What kind of color are you cutting, I went twice and brought me two scissors back, but before they started cutting, he cut off the young lady's hand, and he was bleeding.

Sketch "Accompanying Potato Recruitment".

Wonderful 1 Boss: What do you think this word is?

Candidate No. 2: What's the body?

Boss: There are many kinds of calligraphy!

Candidate No. 2: That's a lot of **!

Wonderful 2 Boss: What is this word? Number Three: It's not a word. Boss: Why? Number Three: None of the words I recognize.

Go to heaven. Father Murphy walked into a bar and asked the first person he met who had returned to Zheng Luo: Do you want to go to heaven?

He said, "Yes, Father!

The priest said: Get out of this bar now!

Then he asked the second person: Do you want to go to heaven?

Of course, Father. The second person is clustered.

Then leave this satanic lair. Said the priest.

Then he walked up to Jack and asked him, "Do you want to go to heaven?"

Jack: No, Father.

The priest glared at him: "You mean you don't want to go to heaven after you die?"

Jack smiled: Oh, when I'm dead, I want to go, Father. I thought you wanted to bring a bunch of people right now.

A: We're going to perform today;

B: Call me four out of the show;

C: Meditate and think for a long time;

Ding: (Placing his left hand into a fist on the upper side of his left eye socket and lowering his head) Cool!

A: Singing and dancing are not good;

B: The cross talk sketch can't be performed;

C: Seeing that the show is about to begin;

Ding: (dumbfounded) Wood!

A: It's useless to complain again and again;

B: It's better to go online and ask for help;

C: There are a lot of works online;

Ding: (surprised) Bluff!

A: Hurry around and click;

B: See if there is a way out;

C: Joke riddles are really good;

Ding: (thumbs up) Serve!

A: There's a good joke;

B: I promise to laugh when I hear it;

C: Compile into a three-and-a-half sentence;

B: The four of us use it for a show;

C: A show at the party;

Ding: It's a mission!

A: It is said that a certain woman is ugly;

B: It has grown to thirty-nine;

C: I haven't been able to get married;

Ding: Worry! A: I heard that a certain place abducted people;

B: Sold as a wife to a ravine;

C: It's nice to think about ugly girls;

Ding: Let's go! A: As soon as I left, I was targeted;

B: The ugly woman was hooded;

C: Grab into the car and start the car;

Ding: Let's go! A: The car stops halfway;

B: The traffickers were stunned when they saw it;

C: Who wants such an ugly woman;

Ding: U-turn! A: The car goes back to the old place;

B: The ugly girl refuses to go;

C: Willing to be sold as a wife;

Ding: Rare. A: The traffickers are worried this time;

B: I don't know how to drive her away;

C: Suddenly there was a roar;

Ding: Stay behind, let's go!

A, B, C: (Wangding) Huh?! (ENDS).

Today, the teacher let us freely perform a sketch - "Quarrel", with the theme: "Buying and Selling Vegetables".

The free show began, and we all performed hard. Xiaojun and I are in a group. I'm a vegetable seller.

At first, I shouted: "Sell vegetables, sell vegetables, fresh chicken feather vegetables!" He came over and said:

How do you sell this dish? ”。I said:

8 cents a pound. He said, "Look at this dish has worms."

I said, "It's good to have insects, which means that I haven't sprayed pesticides." He took the money out of his mouth and counted it, and said

Can it be cheaper? "No, I can't! He pointed to the sun and said

You see, the sun has set, and I'll pack it up for a dime. I looked at him and said, "It's too cheap, don't sell it" Seeing that he was speechless, I added again:

You don't buy it, you don't buy it and look elsewhere. He said, "Everything else is closed."

When I heard it, I was happy: "That's the price." "It depends on whether you buy it or not.

He said, "Yes. That one.

This one. He was speechless by me.

The teacher said that he didn't pass, hey, he didn't pass again, but when the performance was finally over, I breathed a sigh of relief.

Some things have been blurred in my memory, but one thing has been imprinted in my mind, and that time is very memorable.

Grandma is a well-known "long-distance running veteran" among the neighbors, but I am not convinced, and I show off in front of my family that I will definitely be able to outrun grandma, and let them come to ** my race with grandma. My grandmother and I woke up early in the morning to get ready for a showdown. Before the race, my grandmother and I warmed up.

When I was done, I bent down and took a starting position, thinking to myself: Grandma is already so old, even the famous "long-distance running veteran" will definitely not be as fast as me, and I will definitely beat grandma this time. "Ready, start" With my mother's command, my grandmother and I started running.

As soon as I heard the order, I ran like a rocket off the string, rushing to the finish line, rushing towards the finish line, while my grandmother ran unhurriedly.

At first, I was running and thinking: Grandma must have been left behind by me, can she match my physical strength? However, halfway through the race, I had already started to slow down, and I was a little out of breath.

So, I sat down on the side of the road and rested. At this time, my grandmother ran to me with a smile on her face and said with a smile, "How is it, can't you run?"

What's more, I still have the strength! With that, I continued to push towards the finish line, but I was still a little unable to speed it. By the time we reached the finish line, I was exhausted and out of breath, and my feet were weak.

At this time, my grandmother had already caught up with me, and she was still as energetic as she had just now, running towards the finish line unhurriedly. But after a while, my grandmother had already overtaken me, and I was so anxious that my heart burned, but my feet were like lead, and I couldn't run fast, and I was so hot that I was sweating profusely, sweating profusely, and my head was dizzy.

The contest was over, my grandmother had won, and now I was the "braggart king". My arrogance and pride made my sister laugh at me all the time. My sister said to me contemptuously with that contemptuous look, "Sister, why do you love to brag so much!"

When I listened, I was speechless and speechless, and I wanted to find a hole in the ground to get into. Now, I've got the title of "braggart king" again.

This time was very memorable for me, because this experience taught me that people should not be proud, but know how to be humble. Lao She once said: "Pride and complacency are a terrible trap for us, and this trap is dug by our own hands." ”