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This problem plagues many families, especially when their children grow up.
Children need to be appropriately away from their parents, but at the same time they need to grow up with their parents. Because children are constantly looking outward, and it is the task of parents to stay in touch with their children.
Parents should try to meet their children's emotional needs at every stage of their development and escort them into the next stage of life.
If the parents meet the child's dependency needs and encourage the child to be independent, the child will always be in contact with the parent. Even if his attention turns to his peers, parents will always be in the child's heart.
Even during a period when children are seeking independence, it is important for parents to provide them with emotional and moral guidance.
Although children will find intimacy in the world outside of the family, they still need to be backed by this stable and solid intimacy in the family. This kind of relationship is something they can't find outside of the family.
Parents need to encourage their children to be emotionally dependent on their parents until they can be emotionally dependent on themselves.
Deliberately staying away from parents in the name of independence is not a healthy sign of a child's emotional development, but a destructive sign.
Even if there are some problems between parents and children, it is never too late for parents to take the initiative to fix them.
Cultivate children's independence, and children will be closely connected with their parents. If the child is forced to accept the wishes of the parents, the child may defect.
Parents need to listen to their children, not dictate to them. The more parents listen, the more children will ask for their parents' opinions.
Children will definitely take the initiative to communicate with their parents, and the strange thing is that many parents do not know whether it is out of fear or shyness at this time, and tend to run away. This can be very disappointing for children.
Children will make a lot of fumbling on their own in the process of growing up, such as changing their hairstyle and clothing style, and parents should not expect to shape their children with their own wishes. If you want to make an opinion, only once, and be sure to express it tactfully. Otherwise, as soon as the parents open their mouths, the child will violently avoid or refuse.
Be welcome with friends of your child's choice.
Don't buy many gifts for your child. Children can distinguish between the emotional and the material, and they will be sensitive to their parents' attempts to buy their kindness with money. They won't turn down gifts, but it will overdraw your emotional reserves.
A child is a child, and there will definitely be times when you get angry with your parents. Whatever the reason, parents need to be calm.
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Try to be more understanding and tolerant when communicating with your parents, because your parents will definitely have to babble about something, and you don't know how many times you have said it, you have to listen patiently, and don't talk to your parents about it, or dislike your parents.
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Understand the needs of your parents, and follow your parents, who will be very happy and like to communicate with you.
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First of all, we must understand the thoughts of our parents, and we must communicate with our parents at any time to understand each other's needs and actual thoughts in our hearts.
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When communicating with parents, you should be calm and don't do anything. Our parents love us the most, so we have to treat them well.
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How to better communicate with parents? Parents are always concerned about themselves, so it is very necessary to communicate with them and communicate emotionally, and family life.
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Take the initiative to talk to them on a regular basis. and talk about what is in your heart.
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In daily life, we must have filial piety to our parents and have confidence in ourselves, so that life will be warmer, better and more wishful.
Only by using clear and warm language to communicate with others can different things be expressed concretely, achieve more ideal results, and effectively convey emotions.
Communication and Speaking Skills with People:
1.Don't overdo it.
There is a degree to everything, and it is acceptable to others within a range that others can tolerate, but if it exceeds this degree, it will leave people with a handle.
You can blow the cowhide, but don't blow it too outrageously; You can say big things, but don't go too far, otherwise you will only bring shame on yourself. There is a saying: "There must be nine truths in ten sentences, and only when this dry plum tells a lie can anyone believe it." ”
So, if there are too many lies, it will leak out, and no one will believe you anymore.
2. Don't say too absolutely.
There is nothing right, there is no right, and there is no error. Therefore, people have a sense of psychological rejection of things.
Therefore, when talking, even if we are sure of something, do not say too much, because it is easy to provoke others to provoke ridicule. And the reality is that if the other party deliberately picks thorns, they can really pick thorns.
Instead of giving someone an excuse to find a thorn, it is better to be tactful. At the same time, if we don't talk so far, we can still deal with each other in a wider space.
3. Words should be mellow.
When we talk to others for a purpose, we need to speak in a mellow manner. If you speak too bluntly, you will irritate the other person, even if it is your own side.
Speaking more mellowly can leave us a certain amount of leeway and calmly achieve the purpose of our conversation.
4. Don't talk about other people's sad things.
If you know that the other party has something bad recently, be sure not to mention it during the conversation, otherwise it will cause the other party to be disgusted and uncomfortable.
5. Find common ground.
The ancients said that if you don't speculate more than half a sentence, it means that in order to communicate effectively with people, you must find speculative people, that is, people who have a common topic. Therefore, the focus of effective communication with others is on common topics.
6. Don't use dirty words when you speak.
There are many people who don't pay attention to what they talk on weekdays, and they have developed some bad speaking habits, and those who know him think it's nothing, but when they don't understand the situation, they will make a bad evaluation of this person when they hear him speak with a dirty mantra.
7. Be brave enough to admit your mistakes.
In the process of communication, if you have a problem or put forward an unreasonable opinion, you should take the initiative to apologize to the other party and bravely admit your mistake, such as "I was wrong, I didn't think it through." "Wait, it's all good.
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1.Proactive communication. Usually talk to parents about things at school and confusion in learning, and talk to parents about psychology, so that parents can understand their children's inner thoughts.
Empathy. 2.Don't talk back to your parents at every turn, think more from your parents' point of view, and be considerate of your parents' feelings and difficulties.
3.Respect and understanding. When you go out, you should take the initiative to contact your parents so that your parents don't worry, listen to your parents' views, and at the same time put forward your own opinions.
When there is a difference of opinion, both sides should calmly consider the reasons for the difference and how to resolve it. Achieve the communication results of seeking common ground while reserving differences.
4.Be more forgiving. We don't have to worry about it, because our parents are the people who love us the most, and they are also the people we love the most.
5.If you make a mistake, you can correct it. Don't hide your mistakes and let our parents, who are our best friends, help us correct our mistakes.
6.Offer to help. Help parents do what they can to make them happy.
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1.It is necessary to have an attitude as a child and to respect the parents. When we communicate with our parents, we must first make them feel respected and filial so that the conversation is easy to start.
Even if you find that their point of view is wrong in conversation, do not refute it openly, but express your point of view in a gentle, tactful way, so that you can calmly state your point of view while being respected and psychologically satisfied, and the point of view will be accepted gladly.
2.Listen more. The advice or guidance given to us by our parents is for our own good, without any malice. Maybe it doesn't agree with your own opinions, or it doesn't match your own pursuits, and you don't want to listen to the advice or advice.
But you don't have to argue with them in person, just talk your mind and let them hear what you think. If they disagree, a reason will be given. And we should write down their reasons and think. After all, this is more than 20 years of experience.
3.Wrap up the point you want to make. If you want to communicate with your parents, you need to make them willing to communicate with you. And all you need to do is wrap up what you want to say and let your parents listen to you.
A simpler way is to praise your parents, for example, because you have a lot of life experience and have helped me a lot, and then tell them, "That's the fly in the ointment." Say what you really think.
4.Learn to communicate with your parents on an equal footing, don't let your parents treat you like a child, no one wants to communicate with young people who are twenty or thirty years younger than themselves. Unless you somehow convince your parents that you are an adult and have your own correct and independent ideas.
This requires putting more effort into your daily life, talking to your parents about topics they care about, articulating your opinions, and showing them as much as possible what you have achieved so that they feel confident and proud of you.
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Communication between parents is the most important element in a family, it can help us build stronger family relationships, improve the atmosphere of the family, and increase mutual understanding and respect between family members. But many times, we are often faced with constant conflicts between our parents and must learn to communicate correctly to get better results. First, learn to let go of yourself and respect your parents' opinions and ideas.
Don't force your own ideas, but respect your parents' opinions, and in the process of communication, you should compare your parents' ideas with your own ideas, respect each other, and better let both parties reach an agreement. Second, when communicating, be careful with your words, don't hurt your parents with words, and don't say anything demeaning or derogatory. Be sure to pay attention to your words so as not to hurt the feelings of both parties.
Third, we must learn to listen, in the communication, both parties must learn to listen to each other's views, not blindly express their own opinions, to express their own opinions at the same time, but also to listen to the opinions of parents, listen patiently, in order to reach a consensus in the communication. Fourth, learn to express yourself, in communication, you must learn to express your own opinions, do not hold a "don't care" attitude, you must seriously consider your own ideas, express them, and help the communication between the two parties to be smoother. Fifth, we must learn to resolve conflicts, in communication, there may be disagreements between the two sides, at this time, we must learn to effectively resolve conflicts, analyze problems with rational thinking, and find the best solution, which will help both parties reach an agreement.
The above are some of the ways I think to communicate well with parents, hoping to help you build a better family relationship, improve the family atmosphere, and let family members have more communication and understanding with each other.
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Many children have felt this way, it is very difficult to communicate with their parents, and the two parties are always talking to themselves when they communicate, and they cannot understand each other's meaning. Most of these problems arise because of the lack of a "sense of boundaries". Neither party can grasp the proper distance, which makes the relationship have a lot of contradictions.
In the family, parents have no sense of boundaries, what kind of person will the child become?
In the name of love, parents violate the boundaries of their children, control their children's spirits and thoughts, blindly make their children obedient, and invisibly educate their children to be a person who cannot distinguish the boundaries between themselves and others.
People who don't have a sense of boundaries don't have ego and don't care about what others think. They also don't know what they want, because of the interference and suppression of their parents, they have developed a character that they will only obey, even after adulthood, they will continue to use this model to deal with their relationship with the people around them, with constant sacrifice and flattery in exchange for praise and affirmation from others, too much concern about other people's opinions and evaluations, so that they become people without self.
People who don't have a sense of boundaries suppress their hearts and don't say no to things they don't like. When a child is young, if he makes reasonable requests to his parents but they are not met, the child's feeling is that he is not respected and understood, and his heart will be hit, causing him to never dare to express his feelings in the future. If you habitually hide your heart, you will become a submissive person.
If you don't want to be a person without a sense of boundaries, you have to say "no" to cross-border behavior, learn to communicate correctly with your parents, and learn to reject your parents correctly.
1.Draw your own boundaries.
No one can live and think for you, only you can control your own life. Even for the closest parents, maintain a certain boundary and distance. Set a degree for yourself, and then you can know what is your own and what is your parents'.
2.Recognize your own abilities.
Many people are inseparable from their parents when they become adults, because they have completely lost confidence in themselves, they don't know how to live after leaving their parents, they don't dare to make their own choices, they themselves deny themselves first, and if they don't get rid of this self-denial mentality, they will never grow up.
3.Honest communication with parents.
Parents love their children, they may not be able to understand your thoughts at this time, be more patient, communicate with them a few times, let them see your determination and ideas, they will always understand you.
4.Face up to who you are.
Be clear about the role you play in the family, whether it is a child or a parent, and try not to be confused, overlap, or cross the line.
Only by correcting your identity and position can you do what you should do and become the person you want to be.
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