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I know you're probably in a lot of pain right now, and it's hard to be caught in the middle!!
But even if that wasn't your own son, you're now in the role of a mother! You have to take care of him, after all, you still love your home! At least for the sake of your family!
You should understand what your husband is doing, because the experience you share has to make him biased, and maybe he is sensitive to this issue, but you can't escape it!! You can try to communicate with his son and make him understand that he has grown up, that he is a man, that he should be responsible for the family like a man, that maybe he will be impatient, but you can't give up, and if you are really not capable of getting him through alone, you can talk to your husband, don't be too blunt, I think he should at least understand you. He will educate his son with you!
When your son really gets it done, he'll be motivated!!
Good luck! Remember: don't hurt yourself too much, pay attention to your body.
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The two adults discussed that the child should be in charge.
When you find that your child has strengths, you should praise him immediately and take care of him more in life.
If love can't influence him, then there is something wrong with his mentality.
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He's already old, and I suggest you don't talk about it again, go with the flow, make a bowl of water at home, and just be your own child.
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You didn't take his children at all!! Even though he's 23 years old, he's still a kid! I don't want to say anything more, as long as you can accept that child with your heart, everything is not a problem, with your heart!!
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It's hard to be a stepmother, it's not that simple.
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Do your role at home and don't bother yourself.
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In a restructured family, most of the time, at least one parent has children. There is a lot of pressure in society nowadays, it is easy to have children, it is even more difficult to raise children, and raising children is more of a responsibility, rather than for your feelings, to become the so-called bond of your feelings. has experienced some emotional ups and downs, and should know how to cherish it.
If the remarried family has its own ghost and has to rely on the children to maintain it, such a relationship is estimated to not last long. Having another child is actually a manifestation of extreme irresponsibility. Manage your marriage well.
Maintain the relationship between the members of the restructured family. And if you have the financial means, the energy and the time, you can consider having another child.
If you don't have these conditions, it's better to give up. Lead code is particularly good if the relationship of the reorganized family is particularly good. The so-called love house and Wu will inevitably treat each other's children as their own, and use limited resources to cultivate them into useful talents. There is no necessary connection with whether you want children or not.
With the increase in the number of remarried families, people may consider having another child in common with each other in order to strengthen the relationship between the husband and wife, which can also make the relationship of the family more intimate, and in order to prevent the hearts of the children born before the reunited family from being harmed, it is also necessary to take each other's previous children seriously.
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1.After remarriage, do not "overstep" the discipline of the child, but treat the child of the other party as a friend, appreciate the other party's child, rather than focusing on the shortcomings of the other party's child.
2.Parents should guide their children to accept new family members as soon as possible. Only by accepting a new father or mother as soon as possible can the child face growth better.
3.Treat each other's children like their own children.
4.Pay attention to psychological communication, and go deep into all the details of the child's life to understand and tolerate him, but you can't indulge him.
5.Create a good family atmosphere. Take time to accompany the children every day and communicate with the children, a good family atmosphere is conducive to the physical and mental health of the children of the remarried family; A good family atmosphere is conducive to the harmony of husband and wife.
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Treat each other's children as if they were your own.
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So how would your own child be treated, and how should this child be treated?
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The education of children in remarried families is often one of the focus issues of the family, because after all, stepparents and children do not have blood thicker than water, stepfathers often lack the tolerance that men should have, and stepmothers also lack the gentleness that women should have, so how do remarried families educate their children well?
Let the child slowly accept the new parents and family. When the remarried family is newly formed, do not force the child to be called "Mom and Dad", do not embarrass the child, gradually influence the child from the bits and pieces of daily life, consciously increase the opportunity for the whole family to do activities together, travel together, visit relatives and friends together, and consciously introduce the child to others, so that the child Qingzu feels that this is a complete and happy home.
Encourage your child to interact with his or her biological parents. Don't restrict your child's communication with his or her biological parents, as this will not only allow your child to get more and more perfect affection, but also win your child's gratitude to their stepparents, at least not speaking ill of them in front of their biological parents. As a result, the child's biological parents also reduce their hatred towards their stepparents and even develop gratitude, so that the family life after remarriage is harmonious and peaceful.
The divorce of parents is often not due to the fault of one of the parents, but rather the inability of the two to live together together. Just because they are not suitable as a husband and wife does not mean that they are not suitable as parents, and teach children not to be influenced by the bad words and slander of each other when their parents divorce.
Guide your child to break some bad habits. For children's bad habits, we should guide them to correct them step by step, and do not blindly ask children to be completely obedient to themselves, otherwise it is easy to cause children's rebellious psychology. When necessary, make temporary tolerance for some bad life and study habits of the child, do not be in a hurry, and leave the child a certain amount of time and space.
Remarried parents should subtly influence their children through words and deeds, so that they can gradually develop good living habits.
Communicate with your child more. Older children have a certain level of judgment and comprehension. They are understandable about the changes in their families and the choices of their parents.
Now the reconstituted family will not be as good as imagined, which requires everyone to jointly congratulate and sell the correct face, as long as we all treat every member of the family correctly with the attitude of tolerance, more communication and exchanges, the family will definitely get along very well.
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For those who remarry, how to deal with the relationship with the other person's children has a significant impact on whether the marriage can be happy. ......For a person who remarries, since he has chosen the other party, he must accept everything from the other party. Therefore, people who remarry should love each other's children.
First of all, the feelings between family members can only be harmonious if they love each other's children.
The affection between family members is the most crucial factor in maintaining family harmony. ......If you don't love each other's children, your feelings for each other will be affected, and your marriage will not be happy. ......Therefore, it is necessary to love each other's children in the future.
Secondly, loving each other's children can make life more harmonious.
An important prerequisite for a harmonious life is a harmonious relationship between family members. ......If you don't love each other's children, family harmony will not be realized, and life after remarriage will not be happy. ...Therefore, Brother Zheng, in order to live a happy life after remarriage, he must love each other's children.
In the end, love each other's children, so that the family can truly not distinguish each other.
If you don't love each other's children, the relationship between yourself and the other party will not reach the level of talking about marriage. ......Only when you love each other's children can you truly reach the level where the family does not distinguish between each other, and you can truly reap love and happiness after remarriage.
To sum up, only by loving each other's children can one's remarriage be possible, and one's filial piety can reap happiness. Therefore, the person who remarries must love each other's children.
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1. Create a good family atmosphere: A good family atmosphere is conducive to the physical and mental health of the children of the remarried family, and is conducive to the harmonious relationship between the husband and wife. Take a little more time to communicate with your children every day, take them for walks, parties, travel, visit relatives, etc.
From time to time, there is a small family evening party on the weekend, and the husband and wife perform some programs that are beneficial to the children, and also let the children tell jokes, tell stories, read poems, sing and dance, and so on. A good family atmosphere for remarried families is beneficial but harmless.
2. Treat children equally: Children from remarried families are generally sensitive and suspicious when they come to a new family and new environment. Husband and wife should treat each other's children equally, don't only care about their own children, favor their own children, and ignore each other's children, don't care less about them, and even often beat and scold, which will not only affect the children's perception of you, but will also seriously affect the relationship between husband and wife in the long run, and the consequences are unimaginable.
3. Let the children become good friends: Let the children study, play, and walk together, and share delicious and fun with each other, so that the children can become good friends who talk about everything. Even if the children don't live together, let them see each other often, get together and become friends.
Don't let them develop a withdrawn, selfish personality.
4. Take care of your own children: Maybe you will care more for your children from the bottom of your heart, but for the sake of family peace and harmony, please take care of your children first and cultivate their caring, generous, optimistic and tolerant character. When necessary, you should give more love to each other's children, smile more, care more, and the feelings will be deeper.
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I don't think there is love between people for no reason, and there is no hate for no reason.
If the child is well-behaved and sensible, does not act in heaven and earth, and does not reject adults unreasonably, I think he should love it too! If the parents really have a good relationship, then the other party will also tolerate your child.
But now there are many people who remarry, not to find a partner for themselves, but to find a mother or father for their children, I think the motive itself is not pure, remarriage with such a mentality, the expectations of the other half of the attitude towards your children are too high, if the other party does not meet your expectations, you will definitely be disappointed, and the contradiction will naturally arise.
Personally, I think that no matter if a man or a woman wants to remarry, there is no reason to force the other half to treat your child, your child has his own parents, if his own parents can't love him well, he should throw the pot of loving the child to the stepfather and stepmother, which is clearly a moral kidnapping.
Of course, if both parents have feelings and love each other very much, how can the other half be bad to your child? And such a small child is also very sincere, as long as the adult can pay sincerely, the relationship should not be very difficult, I am afraid that the adult will set limits for himself, if you suspect that others will not be good to your child at the beginning, in such a heart hint, even if you find a kind person, the result is not better.
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Remarried families should also treat their children as equals, because the child is innocent, even if he is in, in the remarried family, he should also enjoy normal rights, and the remarried parents should treat them equally, although they cannot be regarded as their own, but at least let the children know that they are in a complete family, and they should discuss things well, and they must not be too extreme.
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Remarried families should also treat their children well. Because children are firm, only by treating children well can they get more love from each other. If it is your own child, you should treat him well.
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The treatment of children in remarried families should be tailored to the situation, but the following suggestions may help:
1.Give your child enough attention and love to make him feel part of the family. When dealing with family matters, involve your child so that they feel that their opinions and ideas are respected and taken into account.
2.Establish a positive family atmosphere where children feel comfortable and safe. Encourage mutual understanding and respect in the family and avoid quarrels and conflicts.
3.Establish a good relationship with your ex-spouse to avoid negative consequences for your children. If the child is in contact with the ex-spouse, try to maintain good communication and cooperation so that the child feels like he or she has two families.
4.Respect your child's feelings and needs and give them enough space and autonomy. When dealing with family matters, consider your child's thoughts and needs as much as possible so that they feel that their opinions and feelings are valued.
5.Build a family culture that supports and helps each other so that children feel that they are not alone. Encourage mutual support and help in the family so that children feel that they have a family to rely on and trust.
Ultimately, the treatment of children in remarried families should be based on respect and love, so that the child feels that he is part of the family, has a sense of security and belonging.
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You still have to run in more, so it's okay.
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