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My brother didn't like my mother's cooking, but he liked instant noodles. One day my mother didn't cook food, and my brother wanted to eat instant noodles again, so my mother scolded him"Mom didn't cook, you wouldn't go out to buy bento, right? Eating instant noodles is not nutritious! "
My brother said:"I just love to eat, whatever! "
Oh. Mom told you that instant noodles are really not a good thing, and there is a young lady in your father's company, in order to save all the money and send it home, so she eats instant noodles in the morning, instant noodles at noon, and instant noodles at night. Eating instant noodles every day, she died three months later! "
Shocked)"Really? "
How could mom lie to you? "
Really, how did she die? "
.Ah,..hGot into a car accident while buying instant noodles.
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One day, Xiao Ming went to buy a bird, and when he got home, he asked the bird, "Can you speak?" "Birds:
No. Xiao Ming asked again: "Then why don't you speak?"
Bird: "Because I can't speak!" One day, Xiao Ming went to the dentist, and the dentist asked him:
Do you have a toothache? Xiao Ming: "It doesn't hurt."
The dentist asked, "Then why did you come to see me?" "Xiao Ming:
Because I heard you're funny. One day, Xiao Ming went to a party, and he saw a person wearing a very strange dress, so he asked him, "What kind of clothes are you?"
The man: "This is my birthday suit." Xiao Ming asked again
Do you wear this dress every year for your birthday? The man: "No, I only have one birthday."
One day, Xiao Ming went to buy a pair of pants, and when he came home, he found that the pants were too long, so he took them to the tailor shop to change them. The tailor asked him, "How long do you want your trouser legs?"
Xiao Ming: "Just leave it under my feet." The tailor asked again
Do you want to keep a pocket? Xiao Ming: "No, I don't want my foot to fall into my pocket."
One day, Xiao Ming went to the movies, and the actor in the movie said, "I'll make you laugh until your stomach hurts." "Xiao Ming:
Then you'll have to get me something to eat first. ”
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Hello dear! Here are a few laughs:1
Why do police officers like to drink tea? Because there were suspects being interrogated on the coffee table. 2.
Why do Brits like to drink tea? Because they don't speak coffee. 3.
Why did TVs turn black and white? Because the color TV needs pants to change the color pen, Hu Dan is old, but the lack of black and white TV only needs to change the refill. 4.
Why does the moon always follow us? Because the moon also wants to look at the stars with us. 5.
Why can astronauts drink coffee in space? Because there is no gravity, the coffee never pours. <>
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[Popular copywriting].
1. In the quiet office, the leader suddenly farted. I saw that the opportunity to perform came, and in order not to embarrass the leader, I took the initiative to stand up: "I'm sorry that the leader let me go, I ate too many soybeans in the morning."
The leader smiled slightly: "You don't have to go to work tomorrow, you said you have nothing to do with garlic, there are only two of us in this office." ”
2. In the thirtieth year of the Chinese New Year's Eve, Lao Xu led his younger son to paste couplets. He said to his son: "If I stick low, you shout high, and if you stick high, you shout wealth."
He stood on a stool and pasted one. I went and posted another one. The son opened one eye and closed one eye, looked at it for a long time, and finally held back a trace to change his sentence:
Dad, neither ascended nor rich. ”
3. The teacher asked the students to form a sentence with "walking horses and flowers", and one student did not understand the meaning of this word, so he wrote: "A friend of mine can use 'walking horses and flowers' to form a sentence." A few days later, the student retrieved the homework book, only to see the teacher commenting in the back
So, can you do it yourself? ”
4. Math teacher: "A banana, 3 children want to grab it." As a result, 2 children were snatched and eaten. Do you know that there is still 1 child, what do you get? Student: "Banana peel." ”
5. The daughter asked her mother, "Why don't you buy a motorcycle?" Mother: "I don't have the money, I can't afford it." The daughter said, "When I grow up and make money, I will buy you a motorcycle, and then you can use the motorcycle to take me to kindergarten." ”
6. A drunk man accidentally fell from the third floor, attracting passers-by to watch, and a policeman came over and asked: What happened? Drunk: I don't know, I've just arrived.
7. As soon as a first-grade child, Wu Zhouxiang, returned to the classroom and told the teacher: "Teacher, there are a lot of ants in the toilet!" The female teacher nodded, and suddenly remembered that the English of the word ant had been taught as soon as the school started, and wanted to see if the children still remembered, so she asked:
What do the ants say? The child looked dazed, and after a while said, "Ant, it, it didn't speak!"
8. Teacher: "There is a good reputation, how to explain it?" Student: "There is a mouth for a cup, which means that every cup has a mouth, such as a wine glass, a teacup, etc." ”
9. The mother didn't want to cook, so she had to accompany her son to do his homework, but who expected that the son would have to accompany his father. Mom was displeased: "What, is it better for Mom to be tutored by Dad?" The son shook his head and said, "Dad has a lot of freckles on his face, but he can help with arithmetic problems." ”
10. Dad told the children about their poor family and frequent hunger when they were young. After listening to the story, the youngest daughter had tears in her eyes, and only half of the cake in her hand was eaten. She said to her father with great sympathy
Oh, Dad, I see, you came to our house because you didn't have anything to eat, didn't you? ”
A white man went to the black district to give a campaign speech, and in order to win the support of black voters, he blurted out in the speech: "Although my ** is white, my heart is as black as you." ”
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