Why do some people not feel sad after the death of a loved one?

Not long ago, when the father of a friend of mine died, I went to mourn my filial piety, and the five brothers of my friend sat in front of their father's body, talking and laughing, and discussing the funeral. I was a little skeptical that they really had their father dead, and under the influence of their atmosphere, I always felt sad and even a little funny during the ritual process of bowing my head during the memorial service to the filial son's thank-you. Once you sit down, you can really laugh with them.

Friends told stories about their father's death, including anecdotes from his death, like stories about other people's families. He said that his father was 97 years old, and he didn't give in to his life, and we didn't let him suffer a little grievance in his later years, and he was half happy and half sad when he returned to the West, what's the use of crying in grief, no matter what you do, the old man can't come back from the dead, right? In the last three days of their father's body, all the funeral rites remained the same, but there was no such atmosphere of mourning and wailing, and the filial son had no taboos, and entertained the guests as usual, and everyone had the same banquet as a wedding banquet. ‍‍

After the death of such a person, the sadness of the relatives will be less, and they will feel that they are alive and suffering from the pain of the disease, and that they will not be guilty of their death when they die, but rather a kind of relief, so the relatives will not be so sad and sad because of their passing, but will be happy for them.

The feelings between this deceased person and his relatives are indifferent, and when he was alive, he was not good, he was often evil, and he was not very friendly with his relatives, and his feelings were not deep, so his relatives would not be sad and sad when he died.

Compared with those who can't accept the death of their loved ones, some people are looking forward to the death of their loved ones, and they are not sad about the death of their loved ones, but they are very happy, because they want to make a lot of money by the death of their loved ones. They look forward to the property they can inherit after the death of their relatives, they look forward to dividing up their relatives' houses and land, and they also look forward to the small profits that can be caught by the funeral of their relatives after their deaths, but they only do not hope that they will be sad. The death of a loved one, in their eyes, is a business that will make money and not lose money, and it is too late for them to be happy.

Sad, they will never have.

Age issues, my grandmother died in the third grade of primary school, I was playing basketball, my younger brother went to the playground to find me and said that my grandmother died, I suddenly burst into tears, crying all the way home, but I saw my mother sitting on the fire, my father was smoking, there was no sad expression, my grandmother was critically ill in the fifth grade, the doctor let our four sisters and brothers take a look, my brother and I cried heartbreakingly, but the eldest sister refused to come forward and said that she was afraid, and then my grandmother was rescued and lived for more than ten years, she passed away I was sad but not as painful as when I was a child.

The relatives of the deceased person, the expression of feelings is not very exposed, sadness and grief are hidden in the heart, not good at grieving in front of people, after the death of relatives, not sad and sad situation, it is rare, the dearest people will always be sad and cry after the death of their relatives. There are no absolutes, some people may feel that people are dead, no matter how sad and sad they are, they can't live, the dead rest in peace, and the living are strong.

Because this relative did not have much contact with him before his death, he will not be sad.

My adoptive father died of rectal cancer at the age of 76, I came out at the age of 23 and have been on my own, every year they will come to live for a period of time, I will also subsidize living expenses every year, when I get sick, the expenses are also paid by me, the funeral expenses are also paid by me, my mother is responsible for taking care of it, I have to take care of the caregiver, my mother does not agree. Maybe I've been out for too long, I haven't relied on them since I started, my feelings are weaker, and I have more responsibilities and obligations. After passing away, I felt that I basically met what he asked me to do, and I basically did more well, and I felt that I had successfully completed the task.

There was no joy or sorrow, but just one thing.

Mother's sister-in-law, a standard rural uneducated woman, since she got married, she has not done a touching thing, unforgettable bad things have done a lot, after the mother left, no one at the funeral she cried heartbroken, sincere, the sister-in-law is resentful of her mother-in-law until the mother-in-law passed away, the resentment only increased, the cremation car came, she actually sadly held the car door and did not let go, witnessed these two women who were pretentious, very speechless.

Before his death, this relative used himself as an ATM, a free nanny and a slave who endlessly beat and scolded him for his own pleasure, and when such a relative died, he was freed, so why should he be sad and sad?

Forced smile and live in the world, my son is powerless to leave and there is no way, heart-wrenching pain, this pain has been with me until the end of my life, my son hopes that you will live carefree and happy in heaven. Miss your mom and feel at ease!

Normal. Because there is the word liberation. Will miss.

There are two reasons, one is emotional distancing, and the other is that life and death have been downplayed.

For example, relatives have a bad relationship with each other, there are conflicts in ideas and values, and there are resentments towards each other in their hearts. Or there is little contact on weekdays, and the two parties do not have a strong emotional foundation, and over time, the relationship between each other will gradually evolve into a "stranger" with blood relations and so on.

In addition, everyone has a different understanding of death, some people think that death is sadness, and some people think that death is liberation. For a person who has been sick for a long time, uses advanced scientific instruments to survive, and is tortured, it is already a pain to live, and the torture he has suffered is also very uncomfortable in the eyes of his relatives. When his life came to an end, his relatives did not feel sad and calmly thought that he was finally liberated.

Everyone's reaction to this parting is different.

In fact, for human beings, and even for all things in nature, death is always an irresistible thing. It's just that humans have more feelings than animals, and they will be particularly sad when a loved one dies, and crying has become a way to vent emotions. But not everyone shows their sadness by crying.

Each has a way of emotional catharsis, some people cry to death and live, and even faint, but some people are like a fool who does not cry or grieve, but a calm person is there in a daze, as if losing his soul, in fact, the latter is often the most sad and sad, they can't accept the fact of death, can't express the pain in their hearts, the whole person is blank, so calm.

Hello, listen to your question, feel your emotions, feel your state, feel your helpless ......In the same way, I have also felt your mood, your situation, think about how I came out, and share it with you.

Mourning1. Allow and accept your emotions while things are happening

First of all, the death of a loved one, we will be sad and sad, and even let ourselves be very depressed, feel depressed, confused, and helpless for a period of time. I can't accept the impermanence of life. Especially for others who are very important to themselves, the loved one who used to be so dependent on him, watching him leave us, how can we not accept such a reality for a period of time.

So this kind of psychological trauma is a big blow to people, so we have to give ourselves time to heal from psychological trauma, and we must allow ourselves to be sad and sad. Give yourself permission. There was a time when I couldn't get out of the emotions of the death of a loved one.

To accept such a self, to allow oneself to grieve, to grieve, to mourn, to mourn and to mourn. Also give yourself a time when a loved one has passed away and is no longer in your reality, in your space, and you are going to accept.

2. Think of making yourself mourn the death of a loved one

Depending on how important each person is to his or her departed loved one, the degree of closeness to the loved one and his or her is different, the time each person needs to mourn, and the way they need to come out is also different.

At that time, I was going to do what I liked to do between myself and my relatives, to cook the dishes that my relatives had cooked for me, to cook for myself, and to keep chewing on the love that my relatives had given me at that time.

In the dead of night, I have a heart-to-heart conversation with my deceased relatives before going to bed. Say what you want to say to him. Let's feel with my heart what kind of feelings he has for his lost relatives and what he has to say unfinished words.

Feel what you want to say to your departing relatives?

In addition, during this period, I continued to write down what I wanted to say to my relatives by writing a diary, and I also used my heart to appreciate the departed relatives and how he wanted me to ...... nowI want to have an interactive and psychological dialogue with him.

I pray for the blessings of the people of heaven, and I also hear my relatives in heaven saying to me that he does not want to see me sad and sad, and that he wants me to treat myself well in this desperate and helpless state, which is the greatest consolation for him.

After a period of self-healing, self-healing, through the above means, I feel that I have healed seventy or eighty percent of my sadness and sadness.

Pray for blessings3. Go into the psychological counseling room and ask the counselor to help you finish the part of the emotion that you didn't finish dealing with in the end, the mourning

The above sharing, I hope to give you a little companionship.

Don't be sad, people can't be resurrected after leaving, sadness is definitely inevitable, but for your own sake and for the people who love you, be strong.

1. Accept the facts, cherish the people around you, and live well.

Two: Look at a good book and divert your attention.

If you're an adult now, volunteering for a while if you can, volunteering can help you break away from yourself and your own problems, allowing you to see the world and others in a whole new and different light, which in turn makes you feel grateful for what you already have and see your own personal worth.

1. It's been a long time since I've been away from my loved ones. 2. There is very little in-depth communication and heart-to-heart talk with relatives. Life is just very dull and passes. So do I.

This can only show that you are a more rational person There is also a point that may also cause your current temperament That is, your grandfather did not die by accident He experienced illness ** and finally couldn't ** die This has been a long process Everyone has slowly accepted this fact in their hearts This is really normal As the saying goes, there is no filial son in front of the bed for a long time This is also the truth Don't be too confused It's really nothing It can only be said that some people are more emotionally rich and more emotional Some people are more rational It can't be said that you don't talk about feelings at all Birth, old age, sickness and death are human nature, it is an inevitable process, and there is no need to entangle friends.

I was like you at the time. Is it because you're ready to accept the fact that you just don't know it? The death of a loved one is a better result of life, and it is normal not to be too sad.

In reality, not everyone is as devastated as they are in the TV series, but at some point, you may suddenly miss your loved one.

Feelings produce beauty, you know this sentence very well, just like taking your grandfather and you to spend 6 years with you, in those six years. He will always be just your grandfather, because you are a junior, and your grandfather is also old, when it is replaced by a friend you and your friends in these six years, playing with you every day, living happily together and eating together, when a friend is not there I think you will definitely be able to cry, back to the topic, your grandfather only took care of you for six years, obviously you and your grandfather are not reluctant to leave each other's particularly good feelings. When your grandfather leaves, you will think about the memories in your heart, but you don't mean to cry at all, but your heart is not painful at all, because your heart doesn't care about your grandfather at all.

You have no sense of remembrance, no sense of gratitude, no sense of benevolence, no sense of value, including a sense of silence in your heart. Wait, wait, wait, if you have those feelings. I think you'll be the first to run out of the classroom door for the final exam.

Ditch it all. In any case, because it was my grandfather's deathbed, even if he went to the soup, he would ,,, adopt it when he went to see him!

Maybe it's because you haven't grown up, maybe it's because of the pressure of exams, and when you become an adult, you'll still miss your grandfather very much.

Everyone has a cruel period of a relationship, and the pain does not know what day and moment it will be.

Hehe, when you see him, when you see other relatives crying bitterly. That's when your heart hurts, too. You're just subconsciously avoiding it, so you can't release the true feelings in your heart. I hope your grandfather can make it through this.

It's not that it's too ruthless, but some people are emotionally sluggish, so they don't feel anything when they just pass away, and they will react in the future.