How to get rid of the pain of regret and self blame for doing something wrong

Guilt, dwelling on the wrong things you have done Guilt is an intense emotional experience of unease, shame, and guilt that arises from actual or imagined mistakes or crimes. Proper guilt is healthy, and he will remind himself to be a kind and harmless person who can take care of the interests and feelings of others when interacting with people.

No man is born wise or learned! The most important thing is not to make mistakes again, make up for mistakes in time, and know how to compensate if you cause harm to others. Only truly good people will blame themselves, and only those who truly have moral requirements for themselves will regret it.

But it is not enough to remorse and blame yourself, you still have to correct your mistakes so that you will not make similar mistakes again next time. It is necessary to learn from the mistakes and experiences. It is better to improve yourself, not to be trapped in wrong self-blame, but to better walk the road to the future.

Tell yourself that the past is in the past, and in the future, live, do something meaningful, see if you can correct what you did wrong? If you can't, go for something else.

Summary. Hello, I am Ray, a psychological counselor, graduated from Capital Medical University with a master's degree, a certificate of psychological counselor from the Chinese Academy of Sciences, and a senior psychological counselor. He is good at marriage and family, gender relations, personal growth, adolescent transition and other fields, and is willing to analyze for you.

I can understand your current mood very well, and you must have a strong sense of justice and responsibility, so you will have such emotions. My suggestion is:1

If you can make up for the consequences, then make up for it, and minimize the negative impact of things, which is the most effective way to fight self-blame and regret.

What should I do if I blame myself for doing something wrong and regret it?

Hello, I am Ray, a psychological counselor, graduated from Capital Medical University with a master's degree, a certificate of psychological counselor from the Chinese Academy of Sciences, and a senior psychological counselor. He is good at marriage and family, gender relations, personal growth, adolescent transition and other fields, and is willing to analyze for you. I can understand your current mood very well, and you must have a strong sense of justice and responsibility, so you will have such emotions.

My suggestion is:1If you can make up for the consequences, then make up for it, and minimize the negative impact of things, which is the most effective way to fight self-blame and regret.

2.If there is no chance to make amends, then apologize to the person who has been negatively affected by this incident, and sincerely express your apologies, regardless of whether you can get the other party's forgiveness or not, you will feel much better.

3.Learning from the lessons learned as we go through everything and learn from it to avoid the same problems from happening again is probably <> most rewarding way to deal with them

4.After the above events last night, all that remains is to let yourself go, let this matter pass slowly from your heart, no longer be bothered by it, and continue to work and live.

Your regret and self-blame have kept you living in the past, and if you don't have the energy to come out, you can't be content with the present.

And a bad mood is that your thinking is controlled by past memories, reflecting your body's feelings, and you are controlled by your thinking, and the real you want to change, breaking through all this, but there is a gap between you and the change.

The mistakes of the past have been caused, but they cannot be let go and come out, there are two possibilities:

One is that at the subconscious level, they are unwilling to face the situation caused by the past for the present, so they can not be responsible for the present and bear what should be done now;

The second is that you're not ready to make a change, and regret gives you a reason to dwell on the past.

It seems very heart-wrenching, but if you don't have to spend your time and energy on the things at hand, you will always be shrouded in bad feelings of self-blame and regret. If you're not ready, it's okay to spend some more time with this emotion, but always remind yourself to be aware of it, and only to be there for a while rather than being controlled by it.

You always regret and blame yourself for the past, which shows that your heart is full of guilt. These feelings may be because you have done something wrong and hurt someone deeply. As a result, you will never be able to get out of the guilt afterwards. So how do you get out of guilt and self-blame?

First, vent the negative emotions in your heart reasonably

You always regret and blame yourself for past events, which shows that you have serious feelings of guilt, shame, etc. in your heart. If these negative emotions are suppressed for a long time, it will affect your physical and mental health, and it will also be detrimental to your life.

Therefore, you have to choose some reasonable ways to vent these negative emotions in time. You can find a relative or friend with a good personality who is worthy of your trust, and talk about the things you have been feeling deeply sorry about. You can also go to a movie related to something you're guilty about, and the plot of the movie may easily trigger your emotions and make you cry.

You can also choose to get in touch with nature more, see more mountains, listen to the sea, etc., and let nature relieve your negative emotions and relax your body and mind.

Second, change the negative cognition in the brain

You always regret your past. There must be some negative cognition in your brain about the past. For example, you think that if you had been smarter and done something different, maybe you wouldn't hurt the other person and things might have gotten better.

But the past is in the past, and no one can change it, and if it were someone else, many people would probably do it. Therefore, it does not mean that you are stupid, and you should not blame yourself too much.

Third, let go of your "perfectionism" requirements

Allow yourself to be imperfect.

You are always blaming yourself and can't get out of guilt, you may have a perfectionist personality, you strive for perfection in everything, you don't allow yourself to fall behind others, you don't allow yourself to do anything wrong. Once you make a small flaw and do not achieve the results you expect, you may regret and blame yourself. There is no such thing as a "perfect" person in this world, and you have to allow yourself to be imperfect.

Fourth, don't magnify your mistakes and learn to forgive yourself.

Everyone makes mistakes. If you always regret and blame yourself, it means that you have realized your mistake. This is a very good act of reflection.

Because in real life, you will find some people who never admit their mistakes even if they make mistakes. Compared to these people, you are a man of courage.

Feeling guilty about the wrong things you have done in the past is something that many people experience. This is not a bad thing, it shows that you are a very kind person. Vicious people don't feel that they are at fault.

On the contrary, it is those who are kind who always punish themselves with their past mistakes. It's time to let go of the past and move forward. What can be done is to make up for previous mistakes instead of falling into that mood of self-punishment.

Make yourself unhappy. Believe in yourself, and you will use a few kind actions to cover up those mistakes in the past in the future. As the saying goes, it's the shore to turn back.

The big mistakes have all passed, and no matter how much you blame yourself, it will not help. It's better to work hard to live now!

Broaden your horizons: Looking at the world, you will feel that the grandeur of the world, the narrowness of your heart, maybe you have always thought that the wrong thing, is not a big thing, just because you can accommodate too few things in your heart, so that it is a big thing, it is recommended that you broaden your horizons, travel lightly, and leave those unbearable past events far behind, ignore them.

Try to make up for it: If you have done something wrong that has caused a lot of harm to others, and you have deep self-blame in your heart, then don't put this self-blame in your heart, but take action, try to make up for it, make up as much as you can, at least let your heart be at peace.

Learn lessons: The footprints we have walked are light or heavy are a part of life, do something wrong, as long as you have realized it, admit your mistake, it's okay, don't make the same mistake in the future, learn from things, constantly modify your behavior, and make yourself more perfect.

Talk: Find someone to talk to, say your mistakes out loud, after saying it, your mood will be very relaxed, coupled with the persuasion and enlightenment of friends, will definitely let those past things go with the wind, drift into the distance, and will not come back to disturb your thoughts.

Reading: The process of reading a book is also a process of self-redemption, from the book can get knowledge, but also to let their heart get peace, in the book, you may find a certain character is you, see how he did, maybe you can get a lot of inspiration, he can lead you out of the quagmire, brave forward.

Ask for help from an expert: If this wrong thing has become your trouble, even to the point that you don't eat sweetly and sleep unsteadily, then don't let yourself suffer, it is recommended to turn to a psychologist to see what is going on with you, and let the expert take you out for acceptance and start over.

Instead of worrying about it, it is better to find behaviors that can be corrected or that will not be repeated, and you can also prevent the same thing from happening in the future, and face the problem head-on, instead of falling into it and confusing yourself. I hope that one day I can face my true self, and I will let go of the good and the bad; Come on.

The easiest way to get rid of this mentality is. Let this pass. People say they want to let go of themselves and others.

You have to forgive yourself, so that you can give yourself a way out, so you have to get rid of this kind of guilt and self-blame, you have to observe your emotional thoughts at that time, etc., when this emotional thought appears, you have to observe him, don't follow him to think, just observe, and slowly he will be able to get rid of it.

If you want to get rid of the guilt, shame, and self-blame of doing something wrong, you just need to know that you have done something wrong. Get rid of the problem and do things well in the future.

Hello. Questions.

Hello. You can think of it this way, everyone will do something wrong, as long as you correct it yourself, and it doesn't happen next time, and you don't mean it.

Don't put too much pressure on yourself.

Questions. How to adjust.

It will be much better to go out for a walk, communicate with friends, and express what you don't think clearly.

Questions. I feel guilty and afraid of regret for what I have done, and it is my fault not to blame myself. Is this depression?

Dear, everyone will feel like this, and they will blame themselves for being wrong, and it will be fine after a long time.

If you have done something wrong and feel great regret and self-blame, but don't want to be known to those around you, here are some suggestions that may be helpful:

1.Admit your mistakes: First, you need to admit your mistakes and recognize your mistakes. It may take some time to reflect and admit mistakes, but this is the first step out of the situation.

2.Seek support: While you don't want people around you to know about what you've done wrong, you may need to seek some support. This can be some close friends or family members who are able to provide you with emotional support and comfort.

3.Self-reflection: Give yourself some time to reflect on your actions, think about why you made mistakes, and figure out how to solve them. This will help you understand your mistakes and find ways to avoid making them again in the future.

4.Make amends: If possible, you can try to make amends for your own faults. This could be some apology or compensation, or some action to change one's behavior and thus reduce the likelihood of making another mistake.

5.Learn from your mistakes: Learn from your mistakes and try to apply them to your future decisions and actions. This will help you better understand your actions and avoid making mistakes again in the future.

Most importantly, don't try to hide your mistakes or evade responsibility. This can lead to greater problems and stress, and dealing with mistakes in an honest and positive way can help you get out of the rut and get better results.

Summarize this painful experience and avoid recurrence.

Since you have been haunted by this matter, it is enough to show your inner struggle. Summing up this experience, when we encounter the same situation, we can solve the problem very gently. Since you don't want people to know, wouldn't it be nice to change it without knowing it?

Sometimes you think you've done a lot of harm to others, but it's actually your subjective thoughts.

Especially when a long time has passed, you have been immersed in self-blame for a long time, and when you meet again, you find that the other party has long forgotten about it.

People make mistakes sometimes, and you don't have to blame yourself too much. As long as you make mistakes at the same time, you can learn lessons, correct and accumulate experience to understand more, life is full of setbacks and difficulties, and it is a training and tempering....Because that's what makes us grow.

If you really feel a little guilty, write down your mistakes on a piece of paper, write your feelings next to it, and then make a goal to do, and slowly change your mistakes and mistakes.