The salary in September was given to the National Day wedding, how do you think about the phenomenon

For this matter, there are only four words, very helpless!

We used to call invitations "red bombs", and I don't think it's an exaggeration. For people with low incomes, the current gifts are really a red bomb that cannot be guarded against.

However, if you think about it carefully, the reason why you fall into such confusion is that the current society is comparative, the second is the business thinking of modern people in social networking, and the third is that the giver himself is too good-looking.

Let's analyze these three points:

First, the comparison of the current society.

In this society, the wind of comparison is getting stronger and stronger. In the past, it was just to get married, have children, and so on, but now it is the child's tenth birthday, being admitted to college, moving to a new house, and so on. However, most modern people are only children, and they do not have as many brothers and sisters as before, so they have to pull colleagues and friends to make up the numbers, resulting in more and more opportunities to give gifts now.

Second, the business thinking in the social interaction of modern people.

In many modern people's concepts, social networking is commercial attributes, if you don't want your future wedding to be successful, you have to pay more now, and you can take it back later. Besides, everyone is a friend, they are all working hard in a foreign land, there are not many brothers and sisters, many friends and many roads. So as long as it's a friend's wedding, I'll go to a party.

Third, the giver himself is too much of a good face.

Some people give gifts, but they really knock out their front teeth and swallow them in their stomachs. Originally, my financial situation was not good at all, but I went with colleagues or classmates, and the same people had to give the same gifts, so I had to go with the flow. But I didn't think that those people's conditions were much better than their own.

After analyzing these points, I actually think that the matter of gift-giving still needs to be thought about rationally. If the two parties really have a good relationship, they shouldn't care about the size of the gift money.

During the seven-day National Day holiday, in addition to the huge number of people who go out to travel, another peak is weddings. I believe that many friends have received red bombs sent during the National Day.

Compared with previous weddings, the overall consumption level of weddings has increased a lot, whether it is from the shooting of wedding photos, or the booking of wedding venues, to the level of the entire banquet, and the ensuing huge expenses have also embarrassed many young people.

When receiving the wedding invitation, you must take a look at the wedding venue, if it is a hotel with a relatively high star rating, then the friends who go to the banquet in person must be embarrassed to pack too few red envelopes, after all, people invite you to come is also good, and everyone is a person who wants to save face, if you don't go to the scene, the amount may be slightly less, but if you drag the family to congratulate, then the big red envelope must be indispensable.

The unit price of the gift is high, and the quantity is also quite large, so the amount of money to be paid for the wedding during a National Day holiday is rising, and even the salary in September may not be enough to pay. I think it is still necessary to do what you can, after all, marriage is also a matter of two people, the degree of luxury should be negotiated according to the family conditions of both parties, if the family conditions are average, there is no need to reluctantly do a luxurious pomp, put pressure on yourself at the same time, but also create embarrassment for the partners who come to the wedding, if there are economic conditions, you can also spend more money in the future life, or use it in the honeymoon, to experience the luxury of enjoyment, it is better than wasting it on the banquet.

The wedding gift is also based on the distance of the personal relationship, and it is good to be appropriate, and there is no need to be extravagant in the past and not to be stingy in the past.

Chinese have always paid attention to human feelings, gifts are still exchanged, your family married I give gifts, my children full moon you wrap red envelopes. In this way, there is a phenomenon that the entire month's salary is given to the National Day wedding. Such a huge amount of gifts has made the public miserable, and it should have been removed a long time ago.

Receiving an invitation means scraping together some money. Is it okay once, three or more times a month? I was struggling with whether to go or not, and I was worried about how many red envelopes to pack.

Each share can cost anywhere from a few hundred to a few thousand. If you are not a local tyrant or a rich second generation, obediently, your pockets are skinny, and sometimes it will affect the quality of life.

Speaking from the heart, who would like such a casual gift? Unless it is those who are clever and open-minded, and use the feast to receive gifts. And there are really a lot of such people.

The public has such a mentality, your wedding, I wrapped a red envelope, my wedding, you have to wrap it back, sometimes there is a comparison, the more the gift is more and more, which is unbearable.

I am lucky to live and work in Shunde, the Pearl River Delta work area. This is probably the only place in the country where banquets are not entertained. Shunde people are really treated, and you don't need to make up money. People just need to be happy, lively and blessed.

When participating in various banquets, no matter how much you have in the red envelope, people only charge 10 yuan or a few yuan symbolically, and more often tear off the corner of the red envelope and accept it, and then return the red envelope to you. It's really a celebration of your dinner. Shunde people are so real, if they have money, they will send invitations, and if they don't have money, they will not invite guests.

Don't set up a banquet in the name of a certain purpose to achieve certain goals, so that you are in a dilemma, and it is difficult to sleep and eat.

Even outsiders are now holding banquets according to the local customs of Shunde. This simple and straightforward banquet saves a lot of trouble. Therefore, I hope that other places can be like Shunde, where the wedding banquet does not accept the gifts of guests, so as to be a real treat and save relatives and friends from distress.

Since the National Day holiday, many people choose to get married in these days, and some marriageable young people often receive more than a dozen or twenty wedding invitations at once during this period. If it's just an ordinary friend, you have to give the lowest local follower a red envelope, but there are too many of them, and of course the salary can only be followed.

For the phenomenon of huge gifts, I personally think that it depends on your actual economic situation and the relationship with the protagonist of the wedding, rather than a one-size-fits-all approach, and people blindly follow the trend as much as they want. In many cases, face is just a temporary "coolness", which does not mean that there is really face. And face is not used for work and life, giving a big red envelope does not mean that everyone will be satisfied.

In some places, the starting point of the wedding is 200 yuan, and in some places, relatives and friends symbolically give 20 or 100 or the like, which is not too much. Some people will look at the relationship with the married person and then agree with friends and classmates who are with them how much is appropriate. If you have a good financial ability, of course, there is no problem in giving more, so that everyone is happy.

And if the economic ability is average, a red envelope must let yourself lose too much blood, so if you have to follow the trend, I can only say that you will die to save face and suffer the crime. As your friend, the protagonist who presumably got married doesn't want to see you temporarily starve yourself because of the ceremony.

In many cases, the gift is actually a blessing and a blessing. Although it is not excluded that some people usually do not contact classmates and friends, in the past three or five years, they have suddenly contacted because they want to get married. In recent years, in addition to getting married, some people will also have a full moon because of the birth of a child, visit the followers, and even move to a new house will send new posts to relevant personnel, so that everyone can go to a restaurant for a meal, and then someone will receive gifts.

Therefore, when we follow the elements, we should do what we can and not blindly follow the trend.

The phenomenon of courtesy has always been a topic of criticism, and everyone's opinion is different.

The gift has gradually changed from the original simple holiday blessing to the taste. People have joys and worries about it, if their economic income is okay, the pressure of the gift will be much less, if the income is not good, but also the gift, it will be very stressful.

A colleague who is a native of Jiangsu, she said that her salary of several thousand yuan a month is not enough for the gift, because the gift between their relatives is huge, at least a few thousand yuan, if it is very close, at least 10,000 yuan.

She complained that her salary was not enough to be courteous, but another colleague said that you are all courtesy between relatives and will come back sooner or later.

We all felt that she was right, it was indeed the case, the gifts between relatives could not be avoided, they were all courtesy, and they would all be returned.

The most fearful thing is that if you only have one side or are very strangers, you will receive his wedding card, which will make you feel embarrassed whether to go or not. If you go to the courtesy, you don't have a good relationship with him, and if you don't go, you're afraid of being gossiped by others.

In fact, I think we should make our own judgment based on personal preferences for the phenomenon of huge gifts.

First of all, do you want to give the same amount as others?

Gift-giving, is originally a personal matter, if you don't compare, but choose how much to give according to the friendship between two people, the psychology will be much more comfortable.

For people who have a bad relationship, you are not happy to send it, you can also not send it, you don't have to listen to what others say, a person who dares to embarrass you, why should you use your own money to coax him to be happy.

Second, give gifts according to your means.

People have vanity, afraid of being looked down upon by others, and afraid of being told no, etc., but with the etiquette really can't be compared, you have to do what you can, you have no money, why bother to slap a swollen face and become fat, the person who suffers is still yourself.

Regarding the matter of participating in the wedding entourage, it is quite helpless, it is really a dilemma, not going? It's not good, we will meet again in the future, and when the time comes, it won't look good, go there, the money is quite a lot, and now the salary is not rising, the cost is rising, and sometimes you have to borrow money to live after the share.

Regarding the amount of gifts, people who are particularly close to them will not say anything, and how much to give is a true manifestation of their hearts. However, for people in ordinary relationships (such as people who only know each other in a company), there is also a certain conventional standard for the amount of gifts, and the tide is still rising. For example, after coming to Beijing for so many years, I have experienced a "huge" change from a standard gift of 200 yuan to a "huge" amount of 2,000 yuan.

The point is, if only one or two 2,000 yuan is acceptable, what if one National Day participates in three or five such weddings? Therefore, I personally look forward to it, if the state also issued a regulation like "not allowing rural people to ask for super high dowries, not to hold banquets", to give urban people a relatively reasonable "guidance", so that everyone can take into account the friendship between people, and not let their lives enter an embarrassing situation.

Share a real and wonderful case.

There was a colleague who worked with us for more than a month and left, and three months later, he suddenly came to the company to send an invitation and let us attend his wedding, because he had a very hot fight with everyone before, so we all went, and the standard gift money was 500 yuan per person. On the day of the wedding, we went to more than 30 tables, and we chatted casually, all of them were his former colleagues, and they didn't get along for a long time, and we said at the time that he didn't stay in every company for long.

Then, shortly after the wedding, the former colleague was no longer in touch and the mobile phone number changed.

In general, the phenomenon of huge gifts is really not a good phenomenon, while increasing the burden of ordinary people's lives, it also makes people's feelings accept the cruel test of money, and the feelings between people have changed.

National Day is the peak period for marriage, and some friends say that there will be 3 to 4 weddings during the seven-day National Day holiday, but this is not an exaggeration among young people. If we calculate it as 1000 for a wedding, then 3 to 4 weddings will cost 3000 to 4000, not to mention that sometimes 1000 is not enough at all.

Therefore, many friends on the Internet complained that all the wages in September were handed over to the National Day.

In essence, the wedding ceremony is actually a tradition of our Chinese nation and a part of human relations. On the one hand, the gift can supplement part of the capital consumption for the family holding the wedding; On the other hand, the red envelope is booming, which is also our heart and blessing for the newlyweds.

But it is not casual at all to say that it is a "casual" gift. Some people will judge the intimacy of the relationship by the amount of gifts; And the mutual gifts should not be too much, nor too little, but also balanced.

It is undeniable that there are many huge amounts of courtesy, ignoring their own economic strength, and slapping their swollen faces and becoming fat abounds.

I was very touched by a passage from the show "Wife's Romantic Trip".

At Xie Na and Zhang Jie's wedding, ** spread rumors, saying that many celebrities have huge gifts, and even millions and hundreds of thousands of dollars, Xie Na clarified in the show.

In the program, Chen Xiaochun said that the most important thing in the red envelope is not the money inside, but the "red envelope" itself, which represents a person's heart and blessings.

I deeply believe that especially for us young people, under the condition that the financial ability is not enough, every gift should be within the scope of ability, just express one's heart, refuse a huge amount of gifts, and at the same time do not put pressure on the other party.

Every time I have a holiday, I am most afraid that a classmate or friend who I haven't seen for a long time will send me a WeChat message or call **: I will say that I will get married in a few days. If you have time, please come to my wedding.

It's just a polite word to have time, to tell you the truth, you can come when you have time, and you have to come when you don't have time.

And now, regardless of whether wages have risen or not, the consumption level is singing all the way, and the wedding gifts are also rising with GDP.

I still remember that more than ten years ago, we went to drink a friend's wedding wine, and we were like this in the city, but at that time, we had already gone to a quarter of the salary, which was also a huge amount of money.

And I remember more clearly that when I was still in school, a childhood girlfriend got married, asked us to be bridesmaids, bridesmaids with gifts need 20 yuan, if you are good for example, you can buy some small gifts yourself, I remember that I sent an electric heater of less than 50 yuan, and then I ate three meals in a row, the night before at the bride's house, the next morning at the bride's house, the next day at noon at the groom's house.

But now I heard my mother say that at that time, we had at least 100 banquets in the countryside, and there were more people who were closer.

In my husband's house, it costs at least 200 yuan to drink wedding wine, and some families only do it to receive this gift money, such as marriage, full moon, entering a new house, and even buying a car.

I usually go to drink other people's wine, I feel that I don't do it once, it's too much of a loss, and you do it, I do it, you take my salary in September, I want your bonus at the end of the year, in short, in the end, everyone's money is given to the hotel that holds the banquet.