How can someone who can t comfort comfort others?

When a person comes to you when he is in a bad mood, then at this time, he needs not only your comfort, but also wants you to be his trash can, he needs to pour out his heart to you at that time, then at this time, you just need to listen to him quietly, it's time to give her a warm hug, or a broad shoulder, because when a person is in a bad mood, he just wants to quietly narrate his own affairs, Rather than really needing to hear what comforting words you have to say.

Because when a person is really in a bad mood, he actually knows what he should do, although he tells himself rationally that he needs to do this, but in the relationship, he doesn't know how to choose, at this time you just need to be a good listener, listen to his heart, is the best comfort to him.

I remember when I was in high school, my good friend fell out of love, at that time, he told me to go out for a walk with me, so I accompanied him, went downstairs to the small park, he bought two cans of beer and put it in front of us, silently opened the beer himself, and drank it slowly with tears.

At this time, he didn't say anything, just accompanied him, and then opened a can of beer himself and drank it, and after a while he told me that he broke up, because he knew that in high school, our main task was to study, not to fall in love, although rationally it was very clear, but he was reluctant. When he told me what was in his heart, he said that he felt much more comfortable, that he felt that he had already said what he wanted to say.

So, in times of a person's need for comfort. All you need to do is listen to him quietly and hand him a tissue when he cries.

Many people think that comforting others is a difficult thing, they don't know how to comfort others, and they are afraid of saying the wrong thing, in fact, comforting people is not as difficult as you think.

I have a friend who is fair-skinned and beautiful, and his family conditions are also very good. Again, she broke up with her boyfriend and came to me crying.

First, I asked her about the cause and effect of the incident.

It turned out that she accidentally found out that her boyfriend was still in contact with her ex-girlfriend, so she kicked her boyfriend out of her house, and her boyfriend repeatedly asked her for forgiveness, but she refused every time. Later, she found out that she really couldn't live without her boyfriend, so she went back to find her boyfriend to get back together, but at that time her boyfriend had already reunited with his ex-girlfriend and rejected her.

Then, I guided her to think about why it happened.

A lovelorn girl is easily irrational, so as a friend, you should calmly help her analyze the problem, rather than scolding her ex-boyfriend's behavior together. I asked her, "How long had he been in contact with his ex-girlfriend when you found out?" "When he comes back to you and asks for forgiveness, why do you turn him down every time?"

In the process of getting along, is your personality weaker or stronger? "He went to find his ex-girlfriend, did he really have feelings, or did he want to leave you? ”

In this way, the friend came to the conclusion that her boyfriend was not really leaving, but just fed up with her strong personality.

Finally, encourage her to face up to reality and solve problems positively.

She also decided to think seriously about her personality and the inspiration that this incident brought to her. Maybe she'll go back to her ex-boyfriend, or maybe she'll decide to start all over again. Either way, I wish her happiness.

So, in comforting others, we are to do the following:

1.Don't add fuel to the fire, this will only make the other person lose their minds even more.

2.Don't say things like "everything is going to be fine", if that's the case, why are the other people coming to you?

3.Earnestly understand the truth of the incident and sincerely give help.

By doing these three things, we will definitely be able to comfort and help each other correctly.

I'm Misland, and I'd love to hear from you.

When friends and relatives around us are depressed, we generally help each other relieve psychological pressure in the form of comfort, and at the same time reflect our help to each other. Comforting others psychologically is a prosocial behavior.

Maintain a stable and intimate social relationship with us.

Crucial. But in many cases, our good intentions can be counterproductive, and inappropriate comfort methods can make the other person more depressed and even angry

Feelings of despair and resentment, so there must be certain methods and skills to comfort others. In general, each person's personality traits are different, and the best way to comfort is to analyze the psychological characteristics of that person beforehand, come up with the reasons for falling into a trough and taking the "right medicine". In real life, we often don't have a lot of time to think before we comfort others.

So, what words should we use to quickly stabilize the other person's feelings and exert a comforting effect? Psychologists believe that these 7 words can work well in most cases of comforting others. I understand your feelings, although these seven words are simple, they don't even express the meaning of comfort, but the effect may be unusual.

When you say this, your position on him is that I am the person you can confide in.

What many people need most in the downturn is the recognition of others. At this time, if someone stands up to stand on the same side as himself, the depressed person will naturally regard the comforter as his "ally" and will be more willing to be enlightened if he asks for help. Substantial help and moral support, at the same time, we comfort people not just a few words, our real goal is to completely relieve the psychological pressure of the other person.

Help them get back to their normal emotional state. Therefore, all of our comforting processes are centered on the other person, not on ourselves. If we only start from a subjective point of view, point out to him (her) from our own standpoint, and give you the solution you want, the other party has similar ideas to you, and there is no big problem, and the other party cannot understand your thoughts at all, then this "comfort" will play a role in anger.

Not only can it not eliminate the negative emotions of the other person.

It will also destroy between you.

When you open your eyes, these seven words are just the beginning of comfort, which can make the other party trust you, eliminate vigilance, and still have feelings of frustration with the other party. Next, we need to give full play to our ability to "empathize", understand the current situation of the other party, combine the personality characteristics of the other party, and think about solutions that the other party can accept. Finally, you can ask the other person for their opinion again, discuss how to deal with it in the end, and if possible, participate in the problem-solving process with the other party.

That's when your comfort is truly successful.

It won't be comforting, but you'll always buy celery and potatoes. If your girlfriend is angry and unhappy, if you can't say good things, please buy a bouquet of flowers or buy something delicious and it will be solved immediately. Don't think she's embarrassed, it's mainly up to you whether you're willing to do it.

In fact, I am usually a very inconsolable person, and my friends often have any questions, and I listen to them on the side, and then give him some advice that I think is feasible. If I really had to comfort her, I wouldn't have comforted her.

If you are very stupid and will not comfort the people around you, you should do something practical, you can help Rolling Tong to help the other party buy some favorite things to be short of quarrels and items, which is also a very effective concern.

Sometimes it won't be comforting, but there will be times when you need to comfort others, so talk less, and sometimes companionship is also a comfort.

If your mouth doesn't comfort you, take action, such as giving someone a small gift or a hug.

Have you ever had a conflict with a friend and didn't know how to comfort her? Even though we are all in each other's hearts, we don't know how to express it? So I'll share some of my own experiences so that everyone can untie the knot smoothly.

1. Listen carefully

Listening carefully is not to be reckless, but to listen carefully to what the other person has said and what they want to express, and we are often in a hurry to share our own things and ignore the stories of others. Listening should be to listen to the other person's heart with our eyes, ears and hearts, and at the same time, we should not be in a hurry to know anything that is happening to the other person immediately. Give the other person enough space to express their feelings.

2. Empathy

When we face the pain of others, we often think of our own sad past and experience, and what we need to do at this time is to share our own stories with the other party, give them some hints, express our empathy for their suffering, and we must not only accept our own pain but also share their sorrows.

3. Give comfort

When a friend is confused or sad, the most important thing for us at this time is not to tell them, "What you shouldn't do or what you should do". After all, everyone has their own thoughts and feelings, and we should show that we care about them by saying words of encouragement and choosing the most effective way to help them out of their difficult situation.

4. Wait quietly

There is a good saying: companionship is the most affectionate stool fight. Whether you are facing girlfriends or boyfriends and girlfriends, companionship is always the most useful method.

Because when a person is vulnerable, he doesn't want anyone to see or express it to anyone, but at this time, silent companionship has become the best comfort.

5. Language communication

Sometimes comfort is actually a way to share, just let the other party know their companionship and care, dare to say how they feel in pain to give timely comfort, and even share similar feelings about themselves, for example, I have also experienced this incident, when I told myself that I can't give up, I can't be knocked down like this, tell the other party that we will always be by your side, what is there to remember to call ** to me, this is the best way to comfort.