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A few days ago, a mother told her troubles in the group: her own Sissi is 3 years old, she has been a polite and well-behaved child since she was a child, and recently she has been close to the neighbor's children, and the neighbor's children have some bad habits, such as hitting people when she is angry, and she loves to swear, and gradually Sissi also has these bad habits, and from time to time she will come up with a few uncivilized words, and when she plays with other children, she will push people to grab toys. Do you want to stop Sissi from playing with the neighbor's children?
What can be done to discipline the child well without arousing the child's rebellious feelings?
1. Let children be clear about what is right and what is wrong<>
The 2-3-year-old child does not have a mature sense of morality, he does not know that his friend ** is "bad", and thinks that it is normal behavior, so parents should not only keep the child away, but more importantly, explain the reason.
Slowly, the child will understand what is the right behavior and what is the wrong behavior.
In most cases, parents are unable to help their children purify their social environment at all times, and when children understand what is the right behavior and what is the wrong behavior, they can make correct judgments on their own when they encounter the same situation in the future.
For example, parents at home should make their children realize that hitting and swearing must be wrong, so that children will not be led astray by friends.
2. Understand the friends in the eyes of children.
Before interfering with your child's friendship, talk to your child about what they do when they play together and how they perceive their friends.
Only by understanding your child's mind can you make the most beneficial decision for your child's growth.
On the other hand, parents can also have the opportunity to chat with their children's friends, and parents can observe the behavior of their friends in the process, and judge their own personality traits from their behavior.
3. Analyze the wrong behavior with your child.
Zhihu on "Should I interfere with my children's friendship?" "There's one thing that stands out to me about this topic:
Answer: "When I was young, I had a good friend who used to come to the house to play, and then one day my father wouldn't let him come or let me associate with him.
I've been blaming my dad for this, thinking he's interfering with my freedom.
In fact, children have their own judgment and thinking, when parents want to interfere with their children's friends, they should also help children collect information, guide children to judge and analyze by themselves, and then make the right decision.
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You should educate and guide your child correctly, talk to him well, and don't let him play with bad friends.
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I think the best way is to cultivate the child's interest and give him a goal, so that he can divert his attention and slowly distance himself from those bad classmates in the process of concentrating on achieving the goal.
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We should tell our children about the consequences of associating with bad classmates. Then guide the child correctly. This is the most correct way to educate.
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It is normal for children to have conflicts, and this is the only way for children to grow. Children can learn how to communicate properly with others through conflict. As a parent, you should correctly understand the contradictions between your children.
There is a saying that "children don't hold grudges when they fight". They may just be making trouble, shedding tears, and playing intimately. There have been many such scenes reported in the news, where children have conflicts, adults are in charge, scolding on the street, and even fighting under the banner of "my child can't stand it".
I am more concerned and sympathetic to these children than adults who are emotionally out of control. How much pressure should they have inside!
The relationship between classmates is good, which is helpful for students' learning and life. As a class teacher, I will deal with this situation from the following aspects: First, I will patiently listen to the demands of the dormitory master, calm his emotions, and calm him down, so as not to affect his study and life.
Secondly, I will find out if the situation is true or not. If, as the head of the dormitory says, I will persuade the students to realize that their actions have affected other students, and guide them to apologize to the head of the dormitory and other roommatesIf I have a personal opinion about the head of the dormitory and do not cooperate with his work, I will take appropriate measures for different reasons and try to eliminate the mustard as much as possible.
Reconciliation. <>
When our emotions come, we should see our own emotions, not to suppress and suppress them, but to see the ** of emotions and reflect on emotions, which may make relationships.
More harmony. After I finished speaking, my classmates nodded their heads. After class, the angry boy came to me and said he understood and wouldn't do it again. Interpersonal communication, psychologically analyzed, will make the problem much simpler.
In the future of school life, children should learn to solve problems on their own. Complaints often occur in the lower grades. Parents and teachers should do a good job of guidance.
As they move into the upper grades, children have more independent problem-solving skills. I believe that they can gain knowledge, friendships, hearts and abilities in campus life, and campus life will become more memorable and cherished.
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Personally, I think that if there is a conflict between a child and a classmate, the teacher must uphold a fair and just attitude, find out what happened, and solve the problem fairly.
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Listen patiently to the demands of the dormitory principal, calm his emotions, calm him down, so that this incident will not affect his study and life, find noisy classmates, and understand whether the situation is true. If it is as the head of the dormitory says, then I will persuade and educate the student to make him aware that his actions have affected other students, and guide the student to apologize to the head of the house and other roommates.
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I think that if a child has a conflict on his own, he must distinguish between right and wrong, and the student who made the mistake must be punished and made him apologize.
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At this time, parents need to calm down. Because people have a process of adapting to changes in the environment, it is important to give children enough time to adapt!
First of all, unpleasant troubles with classmates are setbacks in the child's growth.
It is normal for people to have emotions when they encounter setbacks. At this time, the attitude of parents towards their children's emotions is the key! If the parents are reasonable, or are anxious to give their children ideas of what to do, then the child's feelings will be ignored, and if their feelings are ignored, they will not feel love and will not feel any difficulties.
Someone has my back! At school, children suppress their emotions and release their nervousness when they see their mother. At this time, the mother only needs to hug her, pat her on the back, and say:
Baby, you've been wronged! Come on, mommy hug! When your child is emotionally stable, ask him, "Are you feeling better?"
At this time, remember not to ask the child, and be sure to wait for the child to be emotionally stable before communicating!
Second, you need to pay attention to how you communicate.
For example, we can say: Baby, can you tell your mother what happened to her today? When a child describes something, the mother should not laugh at the judgment or criticism of the child.
Questions like, "Why didn't you tell the teacher at the time?" You resist when he bullies you", these are accusations or demands, so don't say it. Not only is this not helpful, but it can make them feel more frustrated.
Third, after understanding what happened, let's ask the child if he needs his mother's help? If your child needs help and help, you don't have to deal with your child's emotions! In fact, many times, children may just vent their emotions!
Fourth, if parents are concerned about their children's communication problems, there are also some things we can do.
For example, if you want to communicate with your child, and which child in the class you want to play with the most, you can communicate with the child's parents first to familiarize yourself with it. Once you get used to it, you can ask the other person's family to go for a walk in the park, or go on a weekend outing, etc.! Of course, you can also organize parent-child activities with the moms in your class, invite families to participate in groups, play games together, and the children will soon become one!
When it comes to making friends with children, the most important thing is that parents don't worry or be anxious, communicate with teachers more, and help children adapt to the new environment together!
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When a child has a conflict with his classmates, he should understand the ins and outs of the whole thing, and guide the child to the details of the early incident and the child's emotions at the time. It's useless to just tell your child in the abstract that you want to get along with your classmates.
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Understand your child's inner thoughts, remember that it is the child, not the adult, who has to solve the problem and guide him to play with other children.
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Then it is necessary to improve the emotional intelligence of the child, and the parents should lead by example, or cultivate the child's hearty and generous character.
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Some children are unable to communicate with their parents, so they simply refuse to communicate and insist on their own ideas. At this time, parents can learn from the parents and colleagues of their child's peers how they perceive and deal with it, and you may find that you are too harsh.
When a child enters adolescence, it seems that he has changed as a person, how can he communicate smoothly with a rebellious child?
The first point is to think carefully about your child's request and respond carefully. Rushing to a child's request and then rejecting it can make the rebellious child very annoyed and make it harder to trust the parent.
Some parents habitually deny and then negotiate with their children, so that the children are opposed to their parents from the beginning. The right thing to do is to tell your child that I need to think about it carefully and then respond in a way that is acceptable to my child.
The second point: look closely at the interruption of the conversation. When there is a problem in communication between parents and children, children often remain silent or retort violently, interrupting the established conversation.
In turn, parents can avoid communication interruptions by observing the interruptions and reflecting on which expressions provoke their children's disgust. For example, if a child is very angry when he hears his parents say that he has not done well and is not trying hard enough, it is likely that he tried hard, but the results were not good, and he is also frustrated, and the parent's statement makes him even more disgusted and less interested in learning.
The third point: reacquaint yourself with the child and understand his world. Parents often pay too much attention to and urge their children to learn, and this kind of single communication cannot make their children open their hearts.
If you want your child to accept it, you should talk to your child about his life and what he is interested in. Even if the child is reluctant to share, parents should support the child to do what interests him, so as to truly understand his life situation.
Fourth: change the original way of communication. Exchange opinions with your child on an equal footing, learn which communication styles are dissatisfying your child, and give feedback on ways that make parents feel upset, and explore new communication methods together.
If the child feels that the father always speaks with a straight face, he will be impatient when facing the father. The father perceives the child as rude and acts more serious, and the conversation escalates into conflict. However, if both parties understand each other's feelings and change the way they communicate, conflicts can be avoided.
Point 5: Discuss with your child how to resolve the conflict. If it is difficult for parents to find a way to reach a consensus with their child, try to discuss with your child what to do.
For example, if a child wants to go to a distant place with his classmates, parents are prone to reflexively refuse. If you raise your worries about safety, health and other issues, and let your child think about countermeasures to reassure his parents, he will also know how to think about himself over time.
If the child is not willing to communicate, you should not be in a hurry and do not start another quarrel. If your relationship with your child is strained, then it is also a sign that you are not fulfilling your responsibilities as a parent.
Set a bottom line for yourself: I won't ...... no matter what. Suggest to yourself often that this "self-communication" method is very effective.
Even if you have another argument with your child, don't feel guilty afterwards and continue to improve your behavior, and the results will get better and better.
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Think from the child's point of view, not always suppress, guide the child well, and respect the child's ideas.
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At this time, we must have an equal communication with the child, and understand the child's heart, what he really thinks, and why he is rebellious. Be sure to treat yourself and your child as an equal level. Do not treat your child in a scolding way, but communicate with your child in a gentle manner.
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For rebellious children, we must not criticize harshly, but follow the child's train of thought, communicate patiently, understand what the child thinks in his heart, and then guide him appropriately.
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