In the face of shattered dreams and collapsed faith, how to choose?

My father was very strict with me since I was a child, and he had high expectations, and when he was a child, he was disobedient and always loved to go against him. But time is really a good thing. I knew that it was not easy to understand him when I grew up, and I slowly understood them, and felt that it was the most honorable to have such a father.

In my heart, my father has always been my idol and faith. One day, I wanted to go to my father's study to find some blank paper to draw, and suddenly I turned to an envelope, and the contents really surprised me. I felt that my father's image suddenly collapsed, and there was too much information flow into my brain in an instant, and I couldn't slow down, I only felt shortness of breath, and I wanted to cry, as if the stars in the sky were darkened.

I went to the stadium and ran many laps before I slowly calmed down, and now I still have palpitations when I think about it.

I've liked someone for almost six years, and I think every day for three years of high school that he should get better and better. At the end of the college entrance examination, we met. It should be a small class reunion, and there are two other boys who are playing quite well.

I've changed a lot in the past three years, but I've always stuck to this love. I think he's very good. But the truth is, he doesn't seem to me to be that much more than that now.

Especially compared to the other two boys, the person I like is still doing very childish things like three years ago. In contrast, everyone is improving, and he is still standing still. It was a real disappointment.

I thought maybe I was relieved or continued to like it, but I didn't expect it to be such an unacceptable ending.

When I knew that he had a better home, when I finally believed that he had completely let go of me when we broke up, it turned out that it had been my wishful thinking for many years, and in the blink of an eye, five years later, I grew from a child to an adult, and I finally believed that the collapse of faith was the beginning of rebirth, and now I have not forgotten it, but I no longer have feelings for you.

I thought about it a lot, but in fact, it was really a trivial thing at that moment, so small that I was embarrassed to take it out. Because disappointment is a constant accumulation, despair is just the last straw for a large accumulation. Probably sitting on the beach curled up and talking to his best friend, but he said "You are hypocritical", and suddenly felt that there was no hope in life, and he was dead.

Perhaps, your self is not stable enough, so you need to rely on something, a thought, or someone from the outside world. If this thought is broken, the self will also be broken. So now you will have a sense of anger and be at a loss.

The world is diverse, there are so many extremely dark things, but there are also so many pure and good things. I would like to believe that it is not that my previous perception of the world was incorrect, but that it was incomplete. I hope I'm still myself, with a kind and optimistic heart.

If there really is such a day, I may die in the midst of a violent ideological change, or I may remain highly vigilant against any intrusion of thought, and in the end I will become an empty shell, living in a blur.

I'm a little gear who works in a big city, and I'm busy surviving every day, and faith is just a few minutes of cranky thinking before bedtime. For me, who is busy with life, making my family happy is faith.