Why are the elderly and their children easy to fall into the trap of next generation relatives ? Wh

Many old people cherish their grandchildren so much, it can be said that they are "afraid of melting in their hands", so they cut back on food and clothing, and their grandchildren buy what they want. The grandmother of the next-door neighbor Tongtong has only one grandson, and the two of them help to take their grandson every day after retirement, and the retirement pension of the two together has 8,000 yuan, and the grandson is only 2 years old to buy what he wants, although the son and daughter-in-law said that there is no need to buy things at home, but as long as the grandson goes out and wants to have small toys, clothes and pants, they all want to buy. I heard that I bought a car of more than 1,500 yuan not long ago, and finally my son told me.

There is nothing wrong with grandparents loving their children, but the key is whether they can master the "degree" well. Normal compassion is to respond to the child's emotional requests and help the child to do things that cannot be done, which will be helpful to the child. But what the child needs to give me and what does this really need to be changed.

Many elderly people feel that the child is too young and are reluctant to let him develop, such as feeding him at the age of 3, the child is not allowed to intervene in housework, worrying about bumping into it, many new things are not allowed to the child to try, and they like to "act arbitrarily", and the conclusion is that the child has poor consciousness, poor lifestyle and living habits. There are even some elderly people who may feel that their children are too young and will grow up. In fact, such thoughts, good experiences and practices are not conducive to the shaping of children's consciousness.

1. There are some elderly people who are diligent and thrifty, and like to wear clothes and pants worn by other children for their grandchildren, and their young parents do not agree, and it is not that they have no money to buy them, so why should they wear other people; 2. Some elderly people feel that wearing diapers is good, cost-effective and not red, while young people feel that wearing diapers is good, convenient and easy to use; 3. Some old people feel that it is good for children to drink more white porridge and big bone broth, and some young people feel that white rice porridge and big bone broth are not nutritious, and the baby's supplementary food should be varied and fancy; 4. There are some elderly people who feel that the child is still young, eats slowly, and scatters everywhere, so they save time and tidiness for him to feed, and then eat by themselves when they grow up; Young parents feel that they have cultivated their children's subjectivity since childhood, and it is okay to sprinkle some things, and gradually they will not sprinkle them.

Therefore, the two have different values, and there will be disputes. When the old man hears: "When your behavior is unreasonable, he will be unhappy or aggrieved, and I obviously brought you up like that?" Didn't have any problems? ”

In fact, there is nothing wrong with generations. Just the difference in parenting concepts is the difference in the progress of the times and the level of cognition. In the process of practice, if the elderly and young people can ensure 3 points together, not only can it be easier to take care of children, but also the differences can be reduced a lot.

If the old man takes the child, he will spoil the child very much, and the old man will not refute what the child says, so he will fall into the trap of the next generation; When parents educate their children, the elderly should not interfere, do not listen to their children in everything, and do not spoil their children too much.

Because the old man is very doting on children, and he usually has nothing to do, he wants to give the best things to his grandson or grandson. I am very soft-hearted and want to reduce the burden on my children. The elderly should not be offside, parents should not be absent, they must consult together before doing things, and they should learn more scientific parenting knowledge.

This is because the elderly will be very good to the children if they take the children, and will do everything possible to meet the needs of the children; The elderly must not interfere in the education methods of young people, do not offside, and must negotiate together when encountering problems, and just keep these bottom lines.

It is easy for the elderly to fall into the trap of "next-generation relatives" with children, so as an elderly person, you must keep the bottom line. In this way, this kind of intergenerational parenting can develop into a normal love for children, and it will not destroy their own children.

The reason why the elderly and their children are easy to fall into the trap of the next generation is because they love the house and the Wu, and it is also to make up for the regrets of their youth.

Love House & Wu

Many of the next generation relatives happen because the old people feel sorry for their children, so when they help them watch their children, they will also love the house and feel sorry for these grandchildren and grandchildren.

Make up for regrets

Because parents are new parents when they are young, they do not take comprehensive care of their children, and they feel guilty in their hearts. So when their children have children, the old man will give all his previous love to his grandchildren and grandchildren.

Sometimes mishandling is a kind of deformed love that will spoil the child and affect the child's development. Therefore, as an elderly person, we must keep the bottom line, so that our children can grow up in a healthy and loving environment and not be affected by the next generation.

Be pampered

Many elderly people pamper their children without restraint in the process of taking care of their children, which will only make the children become excessive, and the elderly will be obedient. In fact, this kind of love is flawed, and it will only make the children more and more rebellious, and they will not be able to bear the slightest difficulty in society later on.

Don't take it all over

Many elderly people do not let their children do a little bit of things when they are taking care of their children, including eating and dressing, which will only make the children become lazy and lose some of their own behavioral abilities. I always think that children will be allowed to do it when they grow up, but in this way, children miss the opportunity to exercise, which is very detrimental to children's growth.

Educate children in a scientific way

Many old people's concept of educating children is very outdated and unscientific. So there will be conflicts with young people. This is also not good for children's education, so we should popularize some scientific education methods for the elderly, so that the elderly can also keep pace with the times, so that the educated children will be physically and mentally healthy.

It is possible to exist in the next generation, but it is necessary to develop this kind of next-generation relationship into a healthy love, not a deformed love, otherwise it will ruin the child's life. Therefore, as an old man, it is okay to love children, but we must do the right way to love children, so that keeping the bottom line is the best love for children.

To put it bluntly, the old man with his children is to add more of his love for his children to his grandchildren. A child who looks so much like his own children, doesn't he like it when he sees it. If you want to keep the bottom line, don't blindly spoil you, first of all, you must have principles, what you can promise, what you can do, it's not that I want to satisfy you with everything as soon as you cry.

Love, of course, they prefer children. The elderly still need to look at their children more correctly, this is the biggest bottom line.

Mainly because the elderly feel that the child should be close to him. They will also transmit to their children the bad views of their parents. Therefore, the elderly must be sincere and kind, and do not indulge their children too much.

Aunt Xiaoli and Granny Xiaofei are all helping their son take care of the baby, but the way they deal with it is very different. The mother-in-law of the tip only flushes the child's living conditions during the day, and the son and daughter-in-law get off work, and the child is handed over to the two of them. In the evenings, she has more personal time to square dance, talk, and be at ease.

Xiaoli's aunt has to take care of the baby, do housework, and cook all day long, she is autocratic, and the two of them are used to lying on the sofa and reading their mobile phones and waiting for food after work.

Even with the load rate of the baby, the old man must guard the bottom line and don't let himself be too tired, which has nothing to do with selfishness, but a kind of intelligence. After all, it is well considered, only in this way can we maintain a good state and continue to do a good job in the work of bringing a baby. For this matter, it is best to ask your children in advance for a good time to take the baby and arrange it reasonably.

Help with the baby, only each other work together is help, only one party is busy, the other party is happy to be idle, called to evade responsibility.

I feel that there are some elderly people who cherish and understand their children very much, and do not hesitate to use pension services or retirement pensions to subsidize their children's families. This practice may be well-intentioned, but it will help children develop good habits in the long run. If you don't give it one day, it is inevitable that the children will not be easy to complain.

If you have already helped your children share the work of taking care of the baby, there is no need to pay for it, keep it as much as possible, people are more likely to catch colds in old age, and you need to plan for the future.

The elderly with the baby will inevitably have differences with the young people, on the one hand, there is a contradiction in consciousness, and on the other hand, Na Hongjian may not be thoughtful. After all, children are still to blame for their parents' duties, and they are the "number one" in teaching. Therefore, when parents set up regularity for their children, it is better for the elderly to be bystanders.

Even if there is something wrong, don't stop it in public, it is more appropriate to discuss it in private, and don't want to compact the line, otherwise the family relationship will also give you a headache. If you don't want to work hard and don't please, these three bottom lines must be kept, otherwise it will be difficult to save good habits in the future.

The old man helps, this is definitely a good thing for non-brawls, you can share some of the burden of the young cracked and rough people, but also remember not to impose their own wishes on the other party, because the concept of the older generation is different, you should respect your daughter-in-law more, discuss more, and don't interfere too much.

Sometimes the next generation is not properly handled, and it is a kind of deformed love, which will spoil the child and affect the child's development. Therefore, as an elderly person, we must keep the bottom line, so that Li Zhao can let the child grow up in a healthy and loving environment, and will not be affected by the next generation.

The elderly should know that they are elders, not nannies; The old imitation banquet people should understand that the times are progressing, and the concept must be updated; The elderly should pay attention, or they don't bring it, and if they want to bring it, they must be serious.

Because the elderly are very spoiled by the children, and the children will not listen to the elderly, this situation will be triggered, and the elderly should not be taken care of.

Generally, this situation will occur after the elderly take their children, so it is better for children to try their parents to take them, after all, after an era, the parents' education method may also be aging.

It is true that there will be such a problem with the elderly and children. Therefore, it is necessary for the elderly to properly pamper their children and not to spoil them too much.

I think it will, it's okay to be close to the next generation, but the main thing is that the elderly are too doting on their children, which will cause the child's self-awareness to be too strong and will lead to the child's rebellion.

Therefore, it is also necessary to have young parents by their side and educate their children together, so that their children's personalities can be reversed and they will not become very rebellious.

This may be a manifestation of the older generation's pampering of children, but it will develop a bad character for children, and many children are now particularly resistant to communicating with the elderly.

Indeed, as long as the elderly take the children, most of the children will be spoiled as bear children, they will be very impolite, and the behavior is very annoying.

The elderly with children will indeed spoil the children, which is very bad for the psychological growth of the children, and will be used to it very badly.

I especially agree with this view, if the elderly take children, there will be a certain amount of intergenerational relatives, and it will also affect the development of children's personalities.

Yes, so it is not recommended to let the elderly take the children, otherwise they will bring bad children, and they will also spoil the children and let the children develop some bad habits.

<> to say that Mom and Dad can bring us so well, it has something to do with the times, because in the past, the economy was not as advanced as it is now. I hope Mom and Dad don't get angry when they see it, and I'm not sowing discord. Bringing grandchildren to intergenerational education must still be a bit of a generational hook, not to worry about not bringing it well.

First of all, on the good side, the elderly are more patient than us young people, and young people are stressed and prone to tantrums. It's not good for children, but it's much better for the elderly.

Parents can't put the responsibility of educating their children on the grandparents, empathize, if you become a grandparent in the future, you have already educated your son, and the responsibility of educating your grandchildren should be borne by your son. In my opinion, parents are their children's first teachers. Even if it is intergenerational education, parents should spend as much time and energy as possible on their children to improve the quality of parent-child companionship, rather than being the shopkeeper and throwing all the children's education problems to the elderly.

A high degree of education does not necessarily mean that the quality is high. I think that high-quality old people will be good at learning new knowledge, abide by social rules, and have good moral standards in life, and the children brought out by such old people will be as good. If your answer is so no, I think you should take care of your own children instead of choosing intergenerational education.

I never think that one is wrong and which is perfect, it all depends on the quality of the person who implements the education, and the role that parents play in the whole educational process.

<> to say that Mom and Dad can bring us so well, it has something to do with the times, because in the past, the economy was not as advanced as it is now. I hope Mom and Dad don't get angry when they see it, and I'm not sowing discord. Bringing grandchildren to intergenerational education must still be a bit of a generational hook, not to worry about not bringing it well.

First of all, from the perspective of physical health, there should be no problem, you can educate a healthy child, except for some elderly people who spoil children, what children want to buy, what to eat, what to buy, resulting in tooth decay since childhood.

The disadvantage of taking children in the next generation is that they are particularly doting on children, to meet all the needs of children, children will develop the habit of asking for things, will not give children how to communicate with other children, the elderly with children generally do not teach children to take the initiative to share, do not know some hygiene habits, because the elderly sometimes do not pay attention to hygiene, children will also imitate.