How to reduce the harm of the elderly with children?

I think first of all, if you use the word "hurt" to express the elderly and children, this mentality needs to be adjusted.

It is not natural for the elderly to take care of their children, they sacrifice their old age to help you or even fulfill the responsibilities of parenthood in your place, which is first and foremost thankful.

And it's not the fault of the elderly, it's the fault of those of us who are parents, if it's really a responsible parent, in fact, you should bring it yourself despite all difficulties.

Here I summarize a few points for your reference::

1. First of all, you should think clearly about what kind of person you want your child to become, that is, your educational philosophy and model.

For example, whether to believe in strict education or open upbringing. There is nothing right or wrong about this, there are successful children in any kind of education, the key is that your family must have the same philosophy, otherwise the child's cognition will be distorted, and he does not know who to listen to.

2. On the premise of thinking clearly, communicate with the elderly skillfully, explain the points you value the most, and strive to reach an agreement (the war of resistance is long-term, don't worry).

For example, what do you most want to change: the child has a tantrum tantrum? Can't eat well? Impolite? Wait, remember, start with the most serious point that you care about the most.

In the process of communication, stay sensible, never blame the elderly, but start by being grateful to them, slowly elaborate on the phenomena and facts you have observed, and express your concerns. I hope they can work with you to break your child's bad habits. At this point, you want to give them a sense of your educational philosophy (use words they can understand to give examples, and give examples of positive aspects, preferably true).

3. Find a way to teach the child, let the child express himself, and don't take too much care or pampering from the elderly.

This is the most effective method I've ever used, allowing my child to express their rejection directly. For example, when my family was more than three years old, the old man still habitually fed the child, so I made an agreement with him when I took the child alone, and I would reward him for eating by myself in the future. When I meet an old man who wants to feed him, I will remind him to eat by himself, and after the child refuses to eat a few times and eats by himself, the old man will never have to take care of him again (this kind of love is natural).

The above is a little experience of mine, I hope it will be helpful to you

Finally, I sincerely recommend that you don't be too anxious, as the child grows up, he begins to contact kindergartens, classmates, and teachers, the world will be bigger, and the dependence on the elderly will gradually be reduced.

How to reduce the harm of the elderly with children?

The first thing we have to have is a grateful heart, if you feel that the elderly with children is hurtful at the beginning, it is difficult not to have problems. I read a report on the Internet about the elderly bringing their grandchildren to depression, in fact, many elderly people are not so willing to bring their grandchildren, why? I have been tired all my life, and when I reach the age where I can enjoy life, I have to take care of a child, and the parents of the child are very particular, which is not okay, but it is not good to shirk it for the sake of the child's career.

So, shouldn't we think about what we can do to help them take better care of their children on a daily basis, instead of reducing harm in the first place?

Communicate some of your parenting ideas with the elderly with a respectful attitude, at least let the elderly know your bottom line, and try to explain some truths to her clearly, after all, they have not been exposed to any parenting knowledge in that era, if you don't talk about it, they may not think of it, so early or regular communication is very important.

The physical strength of the elderly is limited, the kind of activities that need to run after the child try to do it ourselves, usually you can buy some simple educational toys at home, so that the elderly can take the child to play.

Occasionally take the elderly out to play or buy some gifts for the elderly to show your gratitude, the elderly feel your kindness, and naturally listen to your opinions more on parenting issues. When it comes to child-rearing, we and the elderly are not opposites, on the contrary, we cooperate with each other and work together to take care of and educate our children.

Every afternoon tea time, do something for self-growth. - by Mama Afternoon Tea.

The elderly with children, is it harmful to the children? We take care of our children by ourselves, if we don't understand our children and can't calm down to accompany our children, will it hurt our children? So the focus of the problem is not that the elderly must be hurtful when they bring their children, but how to give the children better love, right?

You said that you are very busy right now and you can't take care of the children yourself, so what else can you do to make the children feel the love of their parents? For example, if you agree to spend some fixed time with your child efficiently, you can concentrate on accompanying your child by doing nothing during that time, even if you have efficient and high-quality companionship in a short period of time, the child can still feel it.

I remember a case where a Hong Kong boss was very busy, but his son was growing up day by day and needed company. He agreed with his son that he would pick up his son from school one day a week, and the exact day could not be determined, but there would be one day a week. The son looks forward to his father every day, every day there is an expectation, he is very happy when he sees his father, the father does not talk about learning, the father asks the son what he wants to do, the father puts down everything to accompany the son to do it, and then to the next week, the son waits for the appearance of the father with expectations and surprises in the week.

It's great love for kids.

So the key point of your question is not to make the elderly less harmful, but how you can do it, and this part needs more learning from parents. When it comes to spending time with your children, if you do it, you will feel less guilty and more satisfied. Then when you return to work and life, the more strength you will have to arrange your time and better spend time with your children next time.

At the same time, it is also a reminder to express gratitude to the elderly. The old man is helping you with the children, no matter what the old man's philosophy and method are, they are helping you to do what should be your responsibility. Only with more gratitude, let the elderly feel that they will pass on more love to their children.

This is the attitude of the elderly to help us take care of our children, and it is we who need to change, not the elderly.

Finally, I want to say that children should bring as much as possible to their parents, and no one's love can replace their parents' love! This is the foundation and source of a child's sense of security and strength.

<> reduce the harm of the elderly to children? Hurting a child? It seems that there is a deep contradiction between you. There are indeed differences in intergenerational parenting, and the older generation has their own experience, which may be different from our philosophy, and it is easy to have contradictions, so how to solve it?

One, bring your own children.

The two generations have different concepts of raising children, and the child's affairs are major events, and they are all harmful to the child, so hurry up and separate and take the child by yourself.

Second, communicate with a grateful heart and don't try to change all at once.

In any case, the elderly love children, even if you don't agree with his ways, but you can't deny that they love children, but some behaviors are unacceptable to us. And the old man brought us the children, purely to help, love the house and Wu, we should be grateful. Learn to say thank you before communicating with the elderly, at least you can ease the attitude of both parties, and the other party will be very relieved to be affirmed.

The methods and attitudes of the elderly are accumulated over decades of life, do you think one or two conversations can change? If you have that belief, you're bound to suffer Waterloo. It's hard to change yourself, let alone someone else?

And don't try to solve all the problems at once, you can't eat hot tofu in a hurry, you have to take your time and solve everything one by one. Start small and slowly agree on something.

Third, use others to persuade the elderly.

Sometimes other people's words are especially good for one's own family. For example, there is a friend, my grandmother is always worried about the child's cold, every time I wear a lot, the heat and cold continue, sent to the hospital, the doctor directly told me to wear less clothes in the future, the child can wear one less clothes than adults, but the grandmother listened, and the things that couldn't be said before changed all of a sudden. Another example is the conflict with your in-laws, then first persuade your husband to unite with you, and let him do the work of your in-laws.

The so-called curve saves the country, as long as it can solve the problem, you might as well try.

In short, no matter how busy you are with children, you have to do it yourself. And taking children is really trivial, very physically demanding and time-consuming, everyone understands each other, empathizes, as long as the goal is for the good of the child, the contradiction is easy to solve.

Since you dislike the elderly with children so much, you should actually bring it yourself, and you should bring it yourself. Because it is the responsibility of parents to take care of children, not the responsibility of the elderly. It is love for them to help you bring it, and you can't force them if you don't help you bring it.

After all, they have raised their own children, and the task is complete. Either way, this kid is just your business. If there are real life pressures and other reasons, you must let the elderly help bring it, and you also need to understand each other.

After all, the elderly only bring it according to their own experience, and they will not bring it according to many parenting books now, and they can achieve the same thing.

The old man will not hurt the child, and they will also return the child, how can they hurt the child. They actually love their children more than their younger parents, but sometimes they dote too much. If you are not a left-behind child, you can correct it in time when you get off work.

It's hard to bring children, the identity of the elderly is different from yours, even if they are angry with the bear child, they still don't dare to hit the child. Although when they raised their own sons, they were all big up. However, they are reluctant to beat their grandson now, and they are all protecting.

Also worried about hitting your child, you will have an opinion! So, long live understanding.

How difficult it is for them, we were born, we were so angry that we jumped like thunder, and it was natural to slap the past, and no one held you responsible. However, if you come back from work and open the door and see your child being beaten, it will not be a good feeling! At that time, you don't think of their good intentions to help you educate your children, but that you think your children are so pitiful.

As a mother, go and pick him up!

Therefore, if you want someone to take care of your child, you must first have basic trust and respect, otherwise you should come by yourself. Children's affairs are not trivial, and you will not leave your children to dangerous people because you are busy.

Nowadays, it is a relatively common phenomenon for the elderly to help take care of children. However, there are always some parents who are still worried about the ability of the elderly to take care of their children, because the children are more naughty, and they are afraid that the elderly will have accidents if they do not pay attention to their children. But think about the current generational relatives, how much the old people love their grandchildren, of course they will take care of them wholeheartedly.

There is an accident in everything, especially children, and everyone will feel distressed if they are hurt. The parents of the child should talk to the elderly more about some injuries and precautions that may occur in the process of taking care of the child. Some injuries are caused by the child's naughtiness, and some are caused by the negligence of the elderly.

You can also go to the Internet to find out about the harm caused by the elderly with children, so that the elderly can also be a**, so that they know what to expect.

The elderly take the children, even if the children really have some small injuries, don't blame them. They are also sad in their hearts, and they don't mean to. Think about whoever takes the child, such a small injury may occur, and it is also the path that the child must go through on the road to growth.

What are the disadvantages of letting the elderly carry their children all the time?

1.Bringing children all year round will accelerate the aging of parents, a cousin of mine does not let the elderly take care of the children all year round, but the couple usually work, and the children need to be taken care of by the elderly all day before they go to kindergarten. In the past, when I was menstruating, I was in good health and didn't have time to order.

Sowing and fertilizing are not a problem at all. I was born working on a farm and have never complained about being tired.

2.But since taking care of the child, my physical strength is not as good as before. She doesn't do farm work every day.

She just cooks, washes clothes, plays with the kids, but always says tired. When the child was more than 2 years old, he accidentally fell and injured his hand because he was packing toys for the child, and because he had diabetes, it took a long time to recover. Since then, his hands have often been so weak that the child cannot hold them.

After that, every time I saw menstruation, I thought she was old again. Including my own mother, after taking care of the children, she also ages quickly, easily tired, easy to sleepy, and the elderly can't afford to turn over and over. Therefore, during the off-duty hours and weekends, I am basically responsible for the children, giving the elderly time to rest and play.

3.How tiring it is to take care of children. Anyone who takes care of children in person knows that there are times when young people are physically exhausted, let alone the elderly.

But after reading so much, most people are talking about how bad they are to their children, saying that the elderly take their children for spiritual satisfaction, and so on. Very few people really care about the effects of this behavior on the elderly, and very little ......Some people say that it is okay to take the elderly around, but not all the elderly can adapt to the new environment. Living with the elderly often creates conflicts, and it is really a big problem with no solution.

However, I think it is ultimately an economic issue. Young people are really stressed to work hard and earn more money. It is good that the elderly are willing to take their children.

If they don't want to take care of them, they have to take them with them.

4.Because I was brought up by my grandparents since I was a child, they love me very much, but definitely not coquettish. I also have a good relationship with them.

Even when I grow up, I like to live with them, but the disadvantage is that I don't have a close relationship with my parents. Whatever the reason, even if the child knows that you are raising him for money, he cannot be intimate. After all, the time is there.

Of course, if the old man dotes on him, it is a very bad situation. My nephew belongs to the elders who spoil him when they see it. He always had some very impolite behavior, disrespecting the older generation, and everything was taken for granted.

So, if you can be a qualified parent, you will feel a lot better, probably.