My mother, love or hate? What to do if you love and hate your mother

They're all older generations! And every mother's mind is different!! In fact, everything depends only on oneself ...

My aunt's family has money, and my cousin buys whatever she wants, and she never beats or scolds her, but now my cousin always doesn't like to talk much, and now no one knows what else she wants? Becoming introverted ... What's going on, you say?

On the other hand, I feel the worst and most powerful in my family is the eldest sister, my eldest sister has a younger sister, my mother spoils her sister, and she was raised from a young age! My eldest sister always has bruises on her body (my eldest sister's mother is very powerful, she used to have a hard family, there were no boys, she often fought with people like thieves, and she was the kind of uneducated person, and often scolded some very unreasonable words) My eldest sister hates her mother very much, but this does not affect her anything, she just thinks about making money as soon as possible...My eldest sister is like this, she is so strong, she just doesn't admit that she is worse than others She is the first in her study class, and the last thing she likes in high school and college is to go home, and when she goes home, her mother beats her, and she can't go out to play during the summer vacation, and she tutors her sister every day.

Now that my eldest sister is older and has a family, sometimes she can't turn around for money, and her mother will still take out all the money in the family for her to use. I feel that parents love their children, but the methods are different, you should still work harder, so that the scolding is not wronged...

You know that your mother has paid so much for you, there is a mother in the world who doesn't love her doll, at most your mother loves to nag, understand him, let's graduate soon, and find a job.

Can't you talk to your mother?

Love and hate for our mother is a very complex emotion, so we must be brave to face our true hearts, accept love and hate, and consciously make changes to ourselves, if the two can talk to each other once, they can change each other, in order to grow together, have a better parent-child relationship.

1. Be brave to face your true heart and accept love and hate.

Whether it is love or hate, it is the real emotion in your heart, self-understanding, self-acceptance, you don't have to force yourself to let go of the hatred in your heart, but you must understand your hate, see your hate, don't stop the love in your heart, and let love express freely, so that you can become real, not entangled, not painful.

2. Consciously allow yourself to make changes.

There must be a causal relationship between loving and hating your mother.

It doesn't mean that we have to blame anyone, the most meaningful thing we can do is to make up for the shortcomings in our personality in a targeted manner, find our superior resources from the current reality, encourage ourselves more, and cultivate a more confident personality.

3. Grow up with your mother step by step.

You are also the most likely person to make a change, and if you want her to change, the most important thing is to change the way you treat him. To achieve complete separation from your mother's personality is to maintain a sense of boundary with your mother.

Realize that you are two separate personalities.

people, get rid of the negative influence of mom on you.

4. Establish your own values.

When people grow up, they tend to internalize their mother's evaluation and values as their own values, so we must consciously get rid of our mother's value evaluation, especially those negative emotional influences, and truly establish our own outlook on life.

and values. 5. Vent through appropriate channels.

If you have a lot of emotions for your mother, you can also express all kinds of complex emotions in your heart, your anger, and your grievances by meditating and writing alone, to release your dareness, unwillingness, and lack of self-confidence.

6. Seek professional help.

If you feel that you are unable to properly manage your relationship with your mother, you can seek professional help and counseling, and let other suggestions help you solve your confusion.

The influence of mothers on their children.

In fact, many mothers have a biased understanding due to the limitations of their own growth environment. Although their heart for the good of their children is unquestionable, their actions have been hurting their children. Family of origin.

Trauma is the hardest pain in the world, and they are likely to accompany the child for the rest of his life. Even if he left his home and parents, it was difficult to escape from that invisible cage.

Behind every mother's love, there should be the right way and method. Control is never love. The greatness of a mother's love should not lie in desperation, but in subtly teaching children how to grow up and how to love the world and others.

Summary. You never question your mother's love, but you hate the way she loves you because your mother's energy is all on you, restraining you everywhere, and it is the mentality of hoping that your son will become a dragon.

I never questioned my mother's love, but I hated the way she loved me.

You never question your mother's love, but you hate the way she loves you because your mother's energy is all on you, restraining you everywhere.

So how do I adjust my mentality?

If what your mother said is right, you can conform to Wang Nian, if you are not right, you can refute or ignore it, adjust your mentality, you have to calm down, read more books and learn more is what your mother is happy about.

On the one hand, you are suspicious of the attitude of your parents, especially your mother, towards you, and on the other hand, you use the strongest words to express intimacy to define the type of parental pair you feel and your feelings. It seems that you are not only doubting this love, but you are also sure of this love. I think this is by no means an unprovoked contradictory reaction, perhaps it is precisely your parents who feel that they are contradictory:

While expressing the importance of you, it is also sending you the opposite signal - Bu Lian Biao.

You hope that your mother can care about you, can see your tiredness and pain, and you hope that your mother can love you and understand you, instead of just seeing your achievements. These are things that can be communicated to the mother, and there are many mothers who don't know how to be good to their children.

In my mind, my mother is a big character, sometimes very irritable, sometimes very weak, sometimes quite assertive, sometimes absolutely ready and sometimes not assertive, sometimes like a mother, sometimes like a child, but she has always been very strong, she is no different from ordinary women, there are many shortcomings, she is a very clean person, the house is neatly organized.

My mother's love for me is to take care of me, it can be said that she is meticulous, and then often calls me **, cares about everything in my life, has her place, and destroys me to feel very warm.