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It stands to reason that when you are married, you are a family. Your wife has no reason to secretly take money to her mother's family, she can let you know that no matter who she helps or helps, there is no need to hide it from you, because it is your common relative.
I think the reason why she secretly gave money to her mother's family is because she doesn't trust you very much, and you should think about whether you are usually too restrictive about your wife's finances, or if you are too sensitive to her mother's money. It is likely that you have quarreled many times over this, and your wife has to secretly take money to help them in order to avoid conflicts between the two of you, but she can't bear to ignore her own family.
If you want to talk, first you have to remove the barrier between you, and although you don't realize it, it does exist, because there are already things between you that both eyes want to avoid and don't want to mention. The first thing you have to do is tell her that you already know about her money, and be absolutely honest, so that she can reveal her sincerity to you. Also, pay attention to the tone of the conversation, don't ask like a prisoner, you just have a simple chat, if she doesn't want to say you don't force it, first of all, you have to change her opinion of your attitude.
You have to believe that she must have her own reasons for doing things, and if something is related to the reputation and face of her family, she is not willing to tell you, first you have to figure out the reason.
Secondly, understand that you should play the role of an arm and backing, and if you let your wife tremble in your arms, all she can think of is to hide and escape.
Putting yourself in the right position is conducive to the smooth progress of the chat, and it is also conducive to both parties to open their hearts.
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Tell yourself what your wife can tell you about. If you don't have enough money, you can go out, but you shouldn't often ask your parents for money, which makes you feel very faceless. You can also tell the other person that doing so will make you feel very incompetent.
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Personally, I think that if you encounter this kind of thing, then you can tell your wife that it is not easy to make money, and you can't always give the family's money to your parents.
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You should find an opportunity to communicate with your wife, and you should also tell your wife to pay attention to moderation and not to send money to her parents' family frequently, which will affect your mood.
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You can directly tell your wife that you hate this matter very much, and if you really need to spend money, you can discuss it with yourself to give it to your mother's family.
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My wife gave money to her mother's family behind your back, that's because if she gave her mother's money to let you know, she was afraid that you would be distressed, afraid that you would be reluctant, so she would do it behind your back, you should understand, don't worry too much about her, if you are generous and cheerful, I believe she will not do this behind your back.
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She did this for several reasons:
1. It shows that she is a filial daughter.
Once a woman is married, she loses her freedom in many ways, and they know that there is no way to do it. After a woman gets married, she will feel that she owes her parents too much, and she will be unwilling to talk about it as if her parents have raised her to marry and marry her to be a free, long-term paid nanny for the man's family. So they will secretly give their parents some money to compensate their parents for their nurturing kindness.
Second, she didn't tell you to avoid contradictions.
Most women will give money to their mothers behind their husbands' backs, because they are afraid that their husbands will not understand, and they are afraid that there will be conflicts between husband and wife because of such filial piety. If you meet an open-minded husband who supports your approach, and if you meet an unreasonable husband, he will have nothing to do if he knows about it. They know that marriage is a siege, and some things in Minshan can't help themselves, they can't do whatever they want like when they were not married, and only they know what they think in their hearts.
3. You have to examine yourself.
Now that you know that your wife is being treated by you, you feel a little uncomfortable in your heart to give her mother's money, but if you were a smart man, you would have taken the initiative to support your wife a long time ago, so she saw that you didn't care about her parents, so she would do it. If you think about it, if it is your daughter who doesn't care about you after getting married, what is it like in your heart, and your wife marries you and doesn't forget her family, which means that she is a grateful woman, and you can continue to pretend that you don't know.
Fourth, she has the right to dispose of her own salary.
Your wife does not lose her rights by marrying you, she has the right to dispose of her salary, in other words, if you give your parents money, she will not interfere with you, because filial piety to parents is the responsibility and obligation of every child. The virtue of filial piety between husband and wife to both parents will be understood and supported by everyone, because everyone has a time when they are old, and each parent's property will be left to their children in the future, so it is only natural for your wife to give her mother's money.
A good woman will be filial to her parents and each other's parents, if a person is not even filial to her own parents, then she will not be good to anyone!
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As a husband and wife, the wife gave all the money earned by both parties to her parents' family. What do I think is going to be seen? If the mother's family has a serious illness or needs money urgently, the wife should discuss with her husband, and the husband agrees with her to do so.
If these two situations do not exist, I think it is really unreasonable for my wife to give all the money to her parents' family. The money for honoring one's parents should be given, but living one's own life well is also a kind of comfort to one's parents.
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Have a good talk with your lover and pay attention to the attitude and way of speaking.
Regardless of whether you are married or not, you will always be a mother's child, and every penny spent is deserved. It's like a mother who never reduces her love because her daughter is someone else's daughter-in-law in the future, so how can it change because she gets married.
When a woman gets married, does anyone take care of her mother's living expenses first? If there is no one to take care of and support. If it is an only daughter, even if it is a foreign marriage, there is no provision in the law to give, but it is morally necessary, not only to give, but also to be responsible for the responsibility of providing for the old age of the parents and supporting the parents.
If the parents are very old and do not have a pension to provide for the elderly, then the woman must give it to a greater or lesser extent; If the parents have a pension, they don't have to pay for their living expenses, but they also buy something for the elderly from time to time to send them, so that they can have the capital to show off to their peers.
However, if the woman is not a single-child family, she may or may not give it, depending on the economic conditions of her family.
In the case of not affecting family harmony, give parents some pocket money for living expenses to make their lives better, this does not ask how much, it is a heart, do not give parents and do not account for it, now most of them do not ask for parents subsidies are already good, and the parents are happy to live a good family.
But in any case, the consent of the other party must be obtained, because when you have a family, a small family is one, and it is not appropriate not to go through consent.
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If the economic conditions allow, the flowers will be spent, and the mother's family is also home
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You have to communicate well with your daughter-in-law to do anything, and mutual understanding and tolerance are the best medicine for husband and wife.
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Let him stop spending it, and recently rob the seniors.
The wife is in confinement at her mother's house, you should accompany him more, take care of the child together, maternal confinement, drink more fish soup, nutritious things, eat peanuts, walnuts, don't make him angry,
Regardless of gender, the family's money should be managed by the party who can manage and manage the money (of course, in most cases, the wife). >>>More
It's not good for a husband like this. After you got married, your parents were also his parents, and it seems that he is a very petty man, and he is also a very irresponsible and selfish person. I suggest you talk to him first, and if he doesn't want to take out the money to take care of your parents, you divorce him. >>>More
Hello: It mainly depends on where you live, and combined with your own economic conditions to determine, these things are a formality, to put it mildly, and not to sell your daughter, you won't mind how much dowry you give, and the etiquette in each place is also different, like we have to marry before the dowry, and then there is a complete hire or something, in general, to get married to my wife and her family three times of dowry, three times add up to about 20,000 yuan.
What can <> do, of course, is to make it clear.
As the saying goes: if you are poor, you will be good alone, and if you are good, you will help the world. As the saying goes: with great ability comes great responsibility. It depends on your own situation. I think that as long as my life is good, I still need to help if I can. >>>More