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There is no bottom line for doting on children, allowing the development of the child's character, and real love is to let the child distinguish what is right and wrong.
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Love is education, it is a lot that needs to be paid, not only care but also need to discipline, and doting will be too much pampering of their children, will not educate, children make mistakes and are reluctant to scold, what the child says is what it is, so there is no benefit to the growth of the child.
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I think all parents love their children very much, the boundary between love and doting is whether the parents are rational or not, for any requirements for children, we should treat them objectively, the good aspects can support and encourage, and we should stop unreasonable requirements, this is the boundary between love and doting.
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Parents love their children, but love must also have a bottom line and principles, some bottom lines can not be touched, such as children lying, secretly taking adults' money related to children's character and upbringing These must not be spoiled, such doting will only harm children
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As the saying goes: strictness is love, looseness is harm. Be lenient and strict with your child, and you must set rules for him before the age of six, what should be done and what should not be done, especially etiquette, etiquette, and life.
Then talk about the cultivation of learning goals, aspirations, character, gratitude, and filial piety. Before the age of 12, the plasticity of the child's character is very small, so set the rules before the age of six, and let the child establish lofty ideals and grand ambitions before the age of 12. Responsible for his own life.
This laid a good foundation for his later life. Therefore, as parents, they must cultivate their children rationally, and parents can cultivate their children properly. The love of parents and children is also far-reaching.
Therefore, parents should study hard, practice more, take care of their children with their hearts, and accompany their children with their hearts, so that their children are physically and mentally healthy.
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There is only one word difference between "love" and "doting". Doting is excessive pampering of one's own children, hindering the healthy growth of children, and is a kind of love that loses reason and directly destroys children's physical and mental health. And love is rational love, the love for children is realized in the right way.
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It can be said that parents all over the world love their children, which is the instinct of even old hens. Because the deepest thing in the world is not the ocean but the tenderness of parents to their children, and the broadest thing in the world is not the breadth of the sky, but the true affection of parents for their children. The most beautiful flower in the world is not the begonia, but the kindness of the smiling faces of parents.
The warmest thing in the world is not the sun, but the fact that parents always care about their children. The Yellow River and the Yangtze River are long, and it is not as long as the family affection between parents and children. However, with the rapid development of science and technology, and with the improvement of people's living standards, parents' love for their children exceeds a certain limit.
They all want the stars not to give the moon, hold them in their hands for fear of falling off, and hold them in their mouths for fear of melting. Blindly meet your child's endless demands. The child becomes industrious, and the grains are not divided.
Surfing the Internet, drinking, smoking, falling in love. So much so that when adolescence rebelled, there were a lot of unbelievable phenomena, contradicting their parents, making loud noises was a trivial matter, and some ran away from home.
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There is no parent in the world who does not love their children, but there must be a degree of love for their children. I think that keeping love in my heart and being strict with my child will be good for his future growth.
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Love is to care about the long-term development of children, do good deeds, make progress, praise, but also remind to guard against arrogance and rashness, punish for doing wrong things, and let them recognize where the mistake is; Doting is a special love that does not distinguish between right and wrong, and connivance without a bottom line.
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True love is selfless, intelligent, and unconditional, and the unconditional here does not mean doting, the unconditional here refers to the fact that no matter what the child is, whether he is smart or stupid, whether he is beautiful or ugly, lively or wooden, just because he is your child, he will love him no matter what. The wisdom of love here is to distinguish it from doting! Doting is unprincipled love, child-centered, food, clothing, housing and transportation are all the child's final say, whether it is suitable or not, regardless of whether it should be or not.
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Children who grow up in loving and bounded families are independent, caring, law-abiding, self-respecting and self-loving, and are more popular in interpersonal interactions. Children who grow up in doting are dependent, self-centered, paranoid, complaining, and have difficulty fitting in.
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A parent's love for their children is not the same as doting, and the two cannot be equated. Loving children is from a positive and correct direction, so that children can get a good education and growth; And spoiling is an incorrect and inappropriate way, so that children will develop bad habits without scruples. Therefore, there is an essential difference between love and doting, and doting is a bad thing, and parents should compare their own performance to see whether they love or dot on their children.
One is that the child can do whatever he wants, which is one of the manifestations of doting. This kind of parents are afraid that their children's requirements will not be met and sometimes they are not in a good mood, so it is easy to compromise with their children, no matter what their children want and what they want to do, parents are satisfied one by one, which is a manifestation of doting.
The second is to take care of everything for the child under the pretext that the child is still young. Many things should be done smoothly by the child, such as eating by themselves, dressing, putting on shoes, bathing and brushing teeth, etc., many parents also arrange for their children, which is also a manifestation of doting.
I hope that parents with limb slippage can compare and stop spoiling their children, otherwise it will have a very bad impact on their children.
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Parents' love for their children is not all doting, and some love is also more severe.
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Your words are too general, there are many kinds of love, every parent loves their own sedan chair hidden child quarrel, but some love, parents put in their hearts, on the surface they are very strict with their children, some are overly pampered, and they meet their children in all aspects materially, what do you want, and there is a lack of education for children, which leads to children's vanity, and they are happy and disgusted with hard work.
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We do not deny that any parents and elders need to love our children, but the concept of love and the concept of doting are very different. Loving children is from a positive and correct direction, so that children can get a good education and growth;
And spoiling is an incorrect and inappropriate way to make children form unscrupulous behavior habits. So spoiling is really not a good thing, and it is easy for children to have problems. But now there are many mothers who are particularly doting on their children, especially the following points.
1.In fact, many mothers also know that this approach is not quite correct, but their behavior is often contrary to their own ideas, and they will still follow their children even if they know that it is wrong. In fact, this is also because the mothers spoil their children too much, because they dote on their children too much, they are afraid that the conditions proposed by the children will not be met and they will be in a bad mood, so they have to compromise with the children in the end.
On weekdays, no matter what the child wants or what he wants to do, the mothers are satisfied one by one, which is one of the first manifestations of doting on children.
Everyone should have seen the scene that will be described next: when a child falls on his own, he does not cry at first. But when the mother came to her side to care for her, the child began to cry.
One of the truths expressed by this example is that giving children too much attention will make them feel more vulnerable. So when the child does something small, or something small happens, you don't need to pay special attention to the child. If you pay too much attention to everything, it will only form a greater dependence on the child's mind.
No matter what happens after that, the child may not be able to become independent. Therefore, this kind of spoiling is also very undesirable.
3.Arrange everything for the childMany mothers always use the excuse that the child is still young to help the child pretend to do everything well. There are some things that children are indeed out of their reach, and it is certainly understandable for mothers to help their children do these things.
But there are also many things that children can do on their own, such as eating, dressing, putting on shoes, brushing teeth and bathing. But often these things are all taken care of by the mothers, and there is no chance for the children. Mothers always feel that their children are not good enough to dress themselves, or to bathe and wash cleanly, but the problem is that if they don't let their children try these, then when will they learn well and do well?
So arranging everything for children is also a big manifestation of doting.
Often, no matter how smart and wise parents are, when they face disputes between their children and other people's children, they will lose their rent and property to be rational, and even do particularly unreasonable things. It is inevitable that there will be some small contradictions and frictions between children, but mothers often feel sorry for their children and are unreasonable, blindly complaining about each other, and rarely criticizing their children's mistakes. And this kind of performance is even more of a kind of doting, and this kind of doting is likely to make the child become unreasonable in the future.
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Almost every parent wants to give their children the best possible material comforts. In the eyes of parents, children are the crystallization of the happiness of the whole family, and they cannot be overly pampered, but they do not know that this kind of thinking is harmful to children. As the saying goes:
Spoiling a child is like killing a child. "If a child is not disciplined by his parents as a child, he will be disciplined more harshly by society when he grows up. If a child has these behaviors, it means that they are spoiled!
1. Ignoring the feelings of others Because after the birth of the child, the whole family regards the child as the center of the family, revolves around the child every day, and tries their best to meet any conditions put forward by the child, resulting in some children being self-centered and ignoring the feelings of others. No matter how old these children are, they feel that anyone in the world should be of service to them, but they never think about what others think, so they only know what to ask for, but they don't know what to reciprocate. These self-centered children, once their parents cannot meet his demands, may yell at their parents and love to "command" their parents in their daily lives.
When they grow up and enter society, it is difficult for these children, who have been highly praised since childhood, to make friends. Their behavior often makes those around them feel uncomfortable and may be ostracized by those around them. 2.
Without independence, some parents always feel that their children are still young and can't withstand the wind and rain, so they have to kiss everything, and they don't even let their children do simple housework. Some children are not able to dress themselves until they are in elementary school. In the TV show "Metamorphosis", a 16-year-old child needs to be fed by his parents, which is the embodiment of being spoiled by his parents.
Children who have lived in this environment for a long time are generally less independent and rely heavily on their parents to do things. When they do anything, their first instinct is to hope that their parents can do it for them, and if they can't do it, they will shift the blame to others. After entering society, children who grow up in "arranged families" will waver in dealing with problems, have no decision-making ability, and want to ask their parents for help over trivial matters.
3.Impolite. Everyone probably encounters a "bully" at school when they go to school.
These children never greet their elders when they see them. They like to bully other children at school and treat other children's toys as their own. It is precisely because the parents of these "little overlords" listen to their children for everything at home, and the children do what they say, and do not teach their children how to be polite people, which leads them to lose their temper with their elders and yell at other children casually.
Educating children is not an easy task. Although for many families, the child is the treasure of the whole family, which is "hidden in the mouth", there must be a certain degree of family affection. Li Meijin, a parenting expert, once said in "Round Table Pie" that in order for children to develop good habits, families must make rules.
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