Why the only child is always more strictly controlled by the parents 10

This is the education model of Chinese parents in the new era, and it is also a disadvantage of education, most parents because they are just a child, so they want their sons to become dragons, and their daughters are very urgent, and the second is that this urgent psychology leads to strict discipline, but as everyone knows, the more strict the discipline, the stronger the child's rebellious heart, which will backfire. You can talk to your parents, talk about your thoughts, your inner thoughts, how you feel when they look at you, and tell them how you feel. Of course, you also have to figure out in what situations they will be very strict with you, and then discuss with them if there is a better way to solve the problem if both parties are happy.

Let's talk to them and wish you a happy family.

Because the child is at home, carrying the love of the whole family, parents are always afraid that their children will make a mistake, or not excellent or something, and hope that their children are the best, of course, in their hearts, their children are also the best, they are strict, normal, because they are afraid that one day if the child does something wrong, they will not be able to stand it, and they are afraid that the child will do something wrong, which will have an impact on the future or something, the heart of parents in the world.

Because parents expect more. Plus, there are no other siblings to distract your parents, just you, of course. Being strict is not necessarily a bad thing, but if you feel that you are too strict, you can communicate directly with your parents.

A: Not all only children are strictly controlled, it's just that the family is different; Also because strict discipline is the largest (old-fashioned) education method in the minds of parents, what "hope that the son will become a dragon, hope that the daughter will become a phoenix, do not lose at the starting line" super old idea infected about 75 (old) parents, because people at that time adopted the same management methods, so in addition to talents, use "strict" as a ......

Extras: Stress-free and entertaining management is also great; It's the 21st century, ah......If you don't want to be overwhelmed by such strict management, tell them your own ......

Because you are the only child in the family, the hope of the whole family is in you, and they are also hoping that their sons will become dragons and daughters will become phoenixes, we should understand their hard work! I am also the only child in the family, I understand your feelings, but we have to understand our own responsibilities, we have to learn to take responsibility, they are strict in order to go further in our future, with good, with stability!

Because they only have this one child, they hope that the children will become dragons and daughters will become phoenixes, and they will not lose at the starting line.

They only have this one child themselves, so his expectations for this child will be high. I hope that my child can become a useful person in the future. They will also have a sense of honor.

Because there's just one! It doesn't matter who he cares!

Only children We may think of the word selfishness because a lot of only children, they get a lot of pampering from an early age. My parents will get used to it, my grandparents will get used to it, and my grandparents will get used to it. Over time, there will be a lot of bad habits, and it is not easy to change.

Of course, in addition to habit, there are other factors, and there are naturally many character defects that lead to it.

Among them, the problem of the only child is more prominent in the following points:

1. Poor independence and strong dependence. Due to the excessive attention of parents, there is a lot of academic pressure. Parents are in charge of everything.

For fear of delaying the child's learning. Take care of all of your child's life. Even beyond the needs of the child itself.

Over time, the only child is unwilling to take the initiative to deal with problems on his own, becomes more and more lazy, and has a low ability to live!

2. Self-centered, unable to accept criticism. When children are growing up, parents always give the best things to their children to enjoy. Some parents are never willing to criticize and take care of them in every way.

This on the one hand leads to the child very"Alone", recognize that anyone and everything should let themselves, should be their own! And only likes to praise and does not accept any criticism. As long as I hear criticism, I will be furious, and I can't reason the opinions of others.

3. Loneliness, this is not a habitual problem, an only child has no siblings at home. The company of peers is also very limited, and there is not much time to be together. Parents are too busy with work to take care of their children, and they are even more than able to accompany their children.

In this case, the child is unable to get rid of loneliness and fear, and gradually forms a withdrawn character, and some parents compensate through love but the child still cannot be satisfied enough, and still feels lonely. Therefore, many only children are mostly accompanied by mobile phones and TVs at home. Lack of good interpersonal communication!

Fourth, due to the excessive attention and love of parents for their only child, parents also have extremely high expectations and strict requirements for their children. Children do things according to their parents' plans, and after a long time, they will have depressed and rebellious emotions. This is especially true during adolescence.

Turning into regrettable results also abound. In a pampered family, children are born and grow up, which has become the main expense of the family. Whether it is reasonable or unreasonable, it is satisfied.

Let the only child feel that things come too easily, and there is no sense of happiness. On the contrary, if you can't get it, you cry endlessly, and roll on the ground helplessly.

In recent years, the issue of the only child has become more and more complex and diverse, and it is not a "habit"."Words can sum it up, so as a parent, in addition to effective companionship, you should also study and research more!

Hope mine can help you!

In the era of the only child, in the current family, because the only child is doted on by his parents, grandparents and grandparents, a special "421 baby" situation has been formed in the family. They often lack the necessary competition and housework: they are overly pampered, and they have a bad temperament such as being prone to occurring, dividing groups, and domineering.

Now, there are four elderly people in the family, and a pair of parents love a child together, and doting has become a serious social problem, but parents can't distinguish the boundary between education and doting, and can't grasp the method and proportion. Here is a list of some of the most common manifestations of doting for parents and grandparents to compare in order to prevent and correct coddling in concrete terms.

Give your child special treatment.

The child has a superior status in the family, and he is given special care everywhere, and he enjoys delicious food alone; A family member can not have a birthday, but his birthday is a big deal; Also, what toys and clothes you want and what you want to buy. Such children feel special, accustomed to being superior, have no empathy, and do not care about others. Children should be regarded as ordinary members of the family, and children should be taught to take care of and respect the elderly, and children should be encouraged to "benefit others" and "love others for pleasure".

Easily meet your child's material needs.

Children buy what they want, and they are always accustomed to using material things to express or make up for their love for their children. In this way, children will develop a bad character of not cherishing things, paying attention to material enjoyment and not being considerate of others, and have no patience and hardship.

Never satisfy the child's material requirements if they should not be met; What should be satisfied is generally not satisfied immediately, let the child wait and endure. Tell your child that the pursuit of life, even a small goal, will not be smooth sailing. There are so many things that need to wait, endure, overcome difficulties, and strive for a positive life.

Only children are used to love, not absolutely, the only children of many families are very autonomous, and now the education of only children is very important, not all of them are used to it.

Since it is an only child, it must be a collection of thousands of pampering, which is a common characteristic of parents. But what I'm trying to say is that only children have a stronger desire for higher achievement, more self-esteem, and better care for their parents.

Not all families will pamper their only child, it depends on their educational philosophy.

Many only children will have such and such problems, such as: too squeamish, too selfish, too domineering, too short-tempered, weak resistance to blows, and so on. However, it is not appropriate to attribute only the common problems of only children to the fact that the family is too accustomed to it, because it is also related to their living environment.

Why do only children generally have more problems?

In fact, there are two sides to everything, and when we envy the only child who has been favored by his family since he was a child, this kind of "love" is sometimes a burden. Because, in a special living environment, it is indeed easy to lead to many problems with only children.

A child is not competitive, squeamish and cowardly.

Now many families with a second child say that "the eldest is sincere, and the second child is fine", why is the second child fine? It is because he has a sense of competition, because he has seized the survival resources of the boss, so he has to become exquisite and especially able to speak. And the boss, although sincere, but in this competitive environment, he will also become "protective of food", and the two children will inevitably fight and make trouble.

In this way, the children experience competition, and their psychological quality becomes better.

However, the only child, he is the only child in the family since he was a child, and there are no brothers and sisters to "fight" with him and compete for the biggest, so he is not competitive. When you have an unpleasant relationship with your friends outside, you can quarrel and fight with others, and you will look squeamish and cowardly.

Since childhood, he has lived a good life, without a sense of crisis and self-motivation.

In addition, the only child has lived a good life since he was a child, basically he wants what he wants, and he has not suffered any grievances in food, clothing and entertainment. Moreover, when he grew up, all the help and property of his parents were given to this child, which also led to the only child having no sense of crisis and self-motivation.

For example, many only children now inherit their parents' real estate, sometimes several. After giving birth to a child, there is no pressure on me to have my parents in charge and my parents to take care of me. Therefore, many only children have no sense of crisis and self-motivation.

The neglect of education by an only child is more terrible than that of a family with many children.

It is precisely because of the different living environment since childhood that only children generally have many problems. If everyone thinks that this is just a small problem, then they are wrong, because the neglect of education by an only child is more terrible than that of a family with many children.

Lack of assertiveness, lack of independence, and strong dependence on parents.

Because he has been spoiled by his family since he was a child, he has no sense of competition, and everything is taken care of by his parents, and the only child will inevitably become unassertive, and his ability to grow up independent will be insufficient. And a person who has no independence and is highly dependent on his parents, like a "giant baby", has a poor ability to resist blows and live alone. Once their parents are incapable of managing them and there are no siblings to help them, their lives will be a mess.

Because the environment and conditions in which each generation lives are different, we cannot generalize, and we must evaluate them by the historical conditions and development level at that time, rather than looking at them with the old standards and visions, which will make people unable to see the actual situation. Therefore, although some people think that the only child is a pampered generation, it should be made clear that this can only be judged by the improvement of material conditions, and it cannot be said that the education method is all by means of habitual care. There are many good only children, and there are also many who are immature in their minds and even have incomplete personalities.

It is a good thing that an only child will definitely have more resources than a non-child in the process of growing up. The problem is simply that some people see these resources as just enjoyment, and some people use them to their advantage.

Because the only child is actually generally a child in the family parents are very important to him, in the mouth for fear of melting, put your hands for fear of losing, so they are all kinds of caring friends, basically they have some requirements, parents will try their best to reward them to meet, so they will develop a very selfish character, only think about themselves, rarely think about others, so they are a special pampered generation. Nowadays, there is basically only one child in the family, and most of them are in this situation, so many people think that only children are particularly pampered.

This situation is very common as you said, because after all, it is now a family of children, in response to the call of the country, the only child has become a big hit now, although the country is now calling on everyone to have children, but these years of experience, the facts of these years have shown that some people have taken children as a burden, and some people even choose not to have children, generally speaking, in their minds, they have deeply planted the impression of a husband and wife, a pair of children, so since this impression has been formed, It's also hard to change, just like people in the past liked to have children, let them have an only child to have a child, they are not used to it, even if they violate family planning, they have to have more children, even if they are fined, they have to have more children, this is the same reason, now it is a family of children, this concept has been formed, even if the country calls for many young people and does not like to want:

So, such a trip, one child per family. So it is very normal to spoil children, as you said, children go to school schoolbags on the back of adults, children hold hands, and the schoolbags are very heavy, are pressed on adults, this is very normal, adults will think that children are still young, carrying schoolbags will be pressed, will affect the development of children, affect the growth of children, in fact, it is just a child pampered, this practice of doting children in the past has been accustomed to the status quo in reality.

In fact, if you are too spoiled children, like this if you are doting, then basically every child of an only child is in the paint of the parents, the schoolbag is heavy, it is the parents, the parents who do not like to eat are still eating, leaving the children for the next time not moving, there is a family of adults, because the living conditions do not have that condition, eat a little bad, good, completely leave it to the child, these are some manifestations of doting children, but this performance is real in every family, It has become a matter of course, and there is nothing that is not spoiled.