Is it appropriate for parents to want their children to fulfill their parents unfulfilled wishes?

I think thisIt's definitely not suitableNow, now it is a new era and a new society, in the past, children always had to listen to their parents, and everything that parents did for their children has passed, and now the society is to have children with a sense of independence, self-thinking ability, and the willingness to consider themselves, and parents cannot force their children to do things they don't like because their wishes are not fulfilled. As a parent, you must know how to let go and respect, only when parents respect and listen to their children's ideas, children will gradually treat others in the same way as they grow up, or treat their parents in the future. <>

It is often said that there are often two aspects to a child's education when he is young, one is school education and the other is home education. In family education, parents play the most important role, and some of their usual behaviors will beIt subtly affects the child's body and mind。For example, if parents are always arguing, children tend to be fearful, irritable, or lack the ability to think independently.

As the child's first teacher, parents should take responsibility to guide their children on the right path, cultivate their children's correct values and awareness of social dangers. Forcing a child for the sake of one's own selfish desires is the most undesirable. <>

Let's take a somewhat inappropriate example, isn't this exactly the case with the article "Hurt Zhongyong" that we once studied, although the main point expressed in the article is that Zhongyong's talent is extremely high, but because his father is bent on getting Zhongyong to write essays and poems to obtain money, he is finally delayed and becomes an ordinary person. But what Zhongyong's father did was not to force Zhongyong to do things that did not match his age for his own selfish desires, and in the end, because he had never studied, his talent gradually disappeared. Whether it is accumulating money or willingness, this is not the behavior that parents should have.

As the only safe haven for children when they are youngParents should stand out from the outside world and wait for their children to thriveWhen they grow up, children will naturally feed their parents. <>

In short,Children are not a tool for parents to fulfill their wishesThey have their own thinking consciousness, don't impose their own will on them, that will only harm the child and themselves in the end.

Actually, this is also appropriate. And often the child is willing to accept it. After all, the relationship between parents and children is intimate.

Depending on the way you communicate with your child, if you only care about your unfulfilled wish and force your child to do something you don't like, it is not advisable, but if you communicate well with your child, and your child understands you very well and agrees to help you fulfill your wish, then everyone will be happy.

Square peg. A child is an individual. With his own personality and personal desires, he should not be a tool to fulfill the wishes of his parents. The best education is to let children live their own lives.

People say that parental love is the most selfless, but is that really the case? In fact, the love of many parents is not completely selfless, which is mixed with their own selfishness. There are many parents of children around me who always impose their own ideas on their children, and let their children regret fulfilling their wishes that they can't fulfill.

For example, parents can't get into college, but they hope that their children can fulfill their desire to go to a prestigious university. So why do parents expect their children to fulfill their unfulfilled wishes?

First of all, parents feel that their children are a continuation of themselves, and they have an obligation to fulfill their unfulfilled wishes. There has been such a saying in China since ancient times, such as Yugong moving mountains. When Yu Gong moved the mountain by himself, someone asked him what to do if he died, and Yu Gong said that he would have his descendants after he died.

From this story, it is not difficult to see that the educational concept of Chinese parents has been like this since ancient times, so there is a reason why parents always expect their children to fulfill their unfulfilled wishes.

Secondly, Ming Jili's parents felt that their mission could only be completed if their offspring were better. For most parents, they hope that their children can become better, change their current class, and go to a higher class to live. Chinese parents have a natural sense of responsibility towards their children, no matter how old they are, although they want their children to be within their control.

Therefore, there are many children who have to listen to their parents when looking for a job, and they also have to listen to their parents when looking for a partner. Parents felt that they didn't become a singer, so they ignored the child's wishes and cultivated the child in the acting career. There are a lot of things like that.

Personally, I think that parents are right to love their children, but in the right way, don't impose your own ideas on your children, so that the children will be very unhappy.

Parents want their children to be better because they want their children to be able to fulfill their dreams. But I think parents should not put too much pressure on their children, otherwise it will cause children to start giving up on themselves, and it will not help children's growth at all. Why are so many parents expecting their children to fulfill their own unfulfilled wishes?

In real life, many parents will do this, but I think this is understandable. Because the parents did not fulfill this wish before, the parents will also feel sorry at this time, but now that Pi or already has a child, then at this time the parents hope that their children can fulfill their wishes. However, I think that parents should not have too high requirements for their children, and do not impose some of their goals on their children, otherwise it may lead to many problems in children, and the relationship between parents and children may become very poor.

If you find that your parents have been forcing you, then you can take the initiative to communicate with your parents at this time, because you feel that everyone also has their own lives. And everyone will have their own opinions, and at this time, children will also have their own dreams to pursue, so I don't think there is any need for everyone to do this, because children are not your tools, and your children are not tools to realize your dreams. Therefore, parents must respect their children, and parents must learn to listen patiently to their children's opinions and ideas at this time.

Therefore, parents should not impose their own views on their children at this time, otherwise it will lead to some prejudice against their parents. And every child will have their own ideals, so I feel that parents must also support their children, and it is best for parents not to directly deny their children, otherwise it will lead to a very poor relationship between parents and children.

may be making up for his regrets, so he pins all his hopes on the child, but this kind of thinking can be said to be really incorrect.

This is because parents feel that what they have not completed is a kind of regret, so they feel that after having a child, they want to make their regrets fulfilling.

This is because I want my child to become a very good person, let him help him fulfill his wishes, and impose his own ideas on his child.

Although parents will try their best to meet their children's wishes, and usually will not refuse their children's wishes, there are times when we also have to depend on the specific situation.

We can't fully accept the child's wishes. For example, my kid got a relatively good job after graduating from college, but the money he saved after he worked.

I didn't use it for myself, but I wanted to use the money I saved to buy me a car, I can feel the child's love for me, but I won't accept the child's heart, although my old car has been driving for more than ten years.

I also had the idea of changing to a new car, but I understood that this was the child's hard-earned money, and it should be more meaningful to spend this money. So I communicated with the child and told the child that Lu Jian Hui understood my thoughts.

After all, he has only just joined the work, and there will be more places to use the money in the future, especially if he will completely settle in the city where he works in the future, so he should still stay with this money and buy a house in that city for himself in the future.

And after saving, I accepted the child's heart in my heart, but I would never ask for this money or the car he bought for me, and the child still obeyed my request under my repeated insistence.

Even so, my children and I are very warm and happy in our hearts.

Because we care about each other and love each other, my child will not feel lost and frustrated because I reject his heart.

chatted with many mothers around me, and they gave different answers.

Satisfaction: Do your best to fulfill all your children's wishes, that is, hope that they can grow up healthy and happy. Sometimes, fulfilling a child's wish and looking at the smile on their face makes it feel like no matter how much effort and hard work it is, it is worth it.

Rejection: All unreasonable desires are rejected. It is clear that the child's desires will become more and more, and if they refuse from the beginning, they may not have unrealistic wishes later on.

Of course, regarding the reasonableness of the wishes, it is necessary to make an agreement with the child beforehand, and at least both parties must have a fixed standard of measurement.

Neutral: There is also a group of parents who pretend not to hear their children's wishes and do not say anything at all. Parents are worried that rejecting their children will make them disappointed and sad; I was worried that if I agreed, it would make them "greedy", so I pretended not to hear it, thinking that after a while, the child would automatically forget.

Regardless of which way parents go, it is possible to understand what they are thinking and doing. In the final analysis, I don't want my children to become arrogant and willful, worrying that they will make mistakes on the road of life.

But on the other hand, it is not necessarily a bad thing for children to have needs, at least two things: one is that they have outstanding expression skills and dare to say what they think in their hearts; The second is that the emotional intelligence is particularly high, knowing that through the right way, it is possible to exchange for what you like and want in your heart.

Therefore, in the face of this dilemma, parents should not be in a hurry to refuse, let alone unconditional compromise, but use the way of "outwitting", which can not only satisfy the child, but also play an educational role, killing two birds with one stone. To put it simply, as long as the needs of children are not excessive, they can be full of cherry blossoms and halls, but the premise is to pay attention to the limit.

There are many parents who are very inclined to let their children complete their unfulfilled wishes, for example, they used to want to find a job as a teacher, but they didn't find it, so they hoped that their children could become teachers in the future, and some parents felt that their living conditions were too hard, so they hoped that their children's economic conditions could be better to fulfill their wishes. I don't think it's necessary for parents to let their children fulfill their unfulfilled wishes, and when I educate my children, I always tell them to do whatever you want, and it has nothing to do with their parents. Only by caring about your heart can you find a job that you really like.

to live the life you really like.

I believe that there are many parents who are like this, always put their unfulfilled wishes on their children, hoping that the children can realize them for you, but whenever the children realize this wish for you, you will feel that your life is complete, I think this idea is very bad, and such parents are more selfish.

Once you put your wishes on others and hope that others will do it for you, then you may pour too much dependence or too much expectation on others, which will be very stressful for others, especially your own children.

Every time I mention to him the future, what kind of work you want to do depends on whether you like it or not, if you like it, even if you don't make any money from this job, your mother will support you, because I think making money is not the most important thing, the most important thing is to follow your inner thoughts.

And I remember, when I was young, I also especially wanted to be an accomplished person in the future, but I didn't tell my children this idea, because I think everyone wants to be successful, everyone wants to be an excellent person, but not everyone can do this, as long as you enjoy your ordinary life is the most important point, learn to enjoy the moment, learn to enjoy life, your life is happy, if you have been greedy, you will not get a happy life.

So, although I have my own unfulfilled wishes, I have never told my children, I think my wishes are not the most important thing for children, the most important thing is what children want, everyone should make their lives good, not to fulfill other people's life wishes.

This kind of thinking is very selfish, I hope parents don't have this kind of thought, you have unfulfilled wishes, you can fulfill them yourself, don't put it on your children.