The 300 word essay has a title and a comment, and the comment is about 50 words 10

The level of elementary school students is really bad now, and I can't write well in the fall, so I don't want to go to school.

I was home alone on Sunday, and after I finished my homework, I turned on the TV and saw a ship moving across the ocean. So I had the idea to make a small electric boat myself.

Just do it. I started by looking for materials: a rectangular piece of styrofoam, a knife, stickers, glue, hard paper, toothpicks, red paper, batteries, wires, motors, propellers. Once the tools are ready, it's time to get started.

I'll do the hull first. It was cut out of plastic foam to follow the shape of the boat, and in order to make the boat a little more beautiful, the hull was decorated with colorful stickers. Then a piece of cardboard was folded into small cabins, glued to the boat, and a few cannons were made, and a few villains were found to be placed on the boat to control the cannons.

The red paper was cut into a red flag, glued to a toothpick, and inserted in the boat, so that the hull of the ship was ready.

Next, it's time to drive the boat. I set the motor and propeller in place, then connected the motor to the battery with wires, and finally pressed the drive to the boat.

The installation is complete and the sea trials begin. I turned on the power control switch and put the boat in the water, haha! My ** is about to set sail! Before I could rejoice, the problem arose, the boat was only spinning in the water, just not moving forward. Alas! What's going on?

In order to figure this out, I searched a lot of books but found nothing, I thought of the computer, and finally found the answer on the Internet: it turns out that the ship is controlled by the rotation of the rudder. It dawned on me and hurriedly put the rudder on the ship, hehe! The results can be imagined.

Evaluation: The words are elegant and the writing is vivid. The layout is novel and the words are simple. Eloquently, Qingwan is gratifying. Write the scenery and enter the wood for three points. The hierarchy is orderly, the structure is rigorous, the writing is free and easy, and the fun is timeless. Distant and elegant, timeless and subtle.

The structure of this essay writing is clear and clear, and it is full of true feelings, strong appeal, simple and unpretentious words, and reflects the love and affection of grandparents for the child's family through the little things of taking eggs again and again. At the same time, on the other hand, there are also a little problems, such as the beginning of the article is too simple, but can not catch people's attention, you can start a new paragraph, use a variety of writing methods and rhetorical techniques, the grandparents for the child's family feelings for multi-angle details or use the comparison technique to show the parents' love for the child more profoundly, so that the structure of the article is clearer and brighter, fascinating; There is also a refinement in the details of the article, for example, when the grandparents hit **, the tone is very bad, you can describe your thoughts at the time, so that it can be compared with the child's family and the kind attitude of the parents, deepen the details of the article, and make the article more real and touching This effect is better.

Reviews: 1 No title.

There is no title in the essay, and it is not clear what you want to express, but if you look at the content, it is a description of the situation, and it is nothing from a strictly stylistic point of view.

2 Unclear narrative.

Confusion: For example, the third and fourth paragraphs should be combined into a paragraph to describe the incident of "going to grandma's house", and the last mention of "forgetting to take" the egg is not special and not explained, so it can be omitted as "I came home after a happy day and found that I didn't take the egg".

There is no actual connection between the paragraphs: the first paragraph says that the grandfather will give vegetables and eggs, the first.

The second, third, and fourth paragraphs urged to get the eggs, and the fifth paragraph grandfather came to deliver them again.

3 The background does not match the feelings to be narrated.

There is no hard work or love at all, and the narrative feels more strong, hard, supportive, and stuffy! It is recommended to write "because I like eggs very much" in the first paragraph, which can set off the old people's repeated "urging" and "sending" to make the expression more perfect.

4 Not enough grooming.

A complete shelf, no decoration at all, no description of grandparents, no description of fathers and mothers, and even no descriptions of chickens and eggs!

Summary: The highlight of the article is that "things" have causes and effects, if you skip these to write the mood, you will feel overwhelmed, because readers do not have these experiences, so you must tell the story clearly to make the cause and effect relationship clear! In addition, the vocabulary modification is not enough, and it is also necessary to read more.

Comment on the essay, so what kind of essay is it? If it's a writing about people, you can write it like this. The author is able to grasp the actions and demeanor of the characters, and the language and psychological description highlight the character characteristics of the characters.

At the same time, he can use witty language in his own work, making his composition a highlight. At the same time, you can use the accumulated good words and sentences in your assignments to make your essay more vivid and interesting.

This essay can be written around the center. Thinking clearly. The language is beautiful. The psychological description of language and action is better. Able to capture the mental activity of the characters. to describe.