In ancient times, why couldn t my daughter go home after marrying?

In ancient Chinese culture, the rule that a married daughter could not return home actually expressed a feudal concept. There are several main reasons:

1.When a daughter marries, she is considered a member of her husband's family, not her "maiden family". This is a custom in feudal society, which believes that after a daughter marries, her interpersonal relationships and living conditions have undergone fundamental changes.

It's like "spilled water", which means that you can't go back to your original family.

2.In ancient society, the social status of women was relatively low, and the daughters who married out usually did not have an independent identity and status in their husbands' families. Therefore, whether it is to return to the mother's home or other social activities, you need to get the permission and support of your husband's family.

3.In ancient societies, the concept of family was strong, and the honor and interests of the family were of paramount importance. If a married daughter returns to her parents' home without her husband's consent, it may be seen as disrespectful and unfaithful to her husband's family, which may have a negative impact on the family's reputation and dignity.

However, this rule is not absolute, and there are some special circumstances in ancient society where married daughters can go home, such as New Year's Eve and sacrifices. In general, such regulations in ancient societies reflected the social customs and values of the time, but they were not representative of the cultural concepts of all eras.

In ancient China, a married daughter could not go back to her parents' house alone, and she must bring her husband with her, otherwise she would be considered despised and looked down upon by her husband's family. Therefore, in ancient times, when women returned to the door, they had to be with their husbands. However, taking her husband back to her mother's house in the thirtieth of the Chinese New Year's Eve will cause the husband's parents to be unaccompanied, which is a great rebellion in ancient times.

Therefore, even in modern times, it is rare for a woman to bring her husband back to her mother's house in her Chinese New Year's Eve. In addition, at the beginning of the new year, there are also many relatives and friends who want to go to the mother-in-law's house to pay New Year's greetings, so the daughter-in-law should serve on the left and right, help entertain, and share the burden for the mother-in-law to show filial piety.

Under the influence of feudal thinking, the ancients often thought that the daughter who married out was like splashing out of the water, and the daughter was the person of the husband's family after marriage, and the opportunity for the reunion of mother and child was therefore rare. In the face of a bad husband's family, the woman can only turn to her mother's family for spiritual comfort and solutions.

In the feudal era, the idea of male superiority and inferiority of women was deep-rooted, and it was believed that the daughter who married out was the water that was spilled, so the daughter who got married was not allowed to go home, and even if the married daughter went home because of family changes, she would be regarded as a shame and shame by her mother's family! Men and women should be equal, and women are also half the sky!

Some people say that for married women, their mother's family will always be the home in their hearts, and some people say that for married women, their mother's family has become the closest relative, in fact, what is their mother's home, hundreds of people's tastes, although the taste is different, but the feelings of blood thicker than water can not change.

If your parents say that this is not your home, in fact, it is to let you live a good life in your in-law's house wholeheartedly, it is a kind of supreme love, your parents do not want you, do not love you, but for you to have a better future, because the rest of your life will take root, sprout and become a tree independently in that place called your mother-in-law's house.

In short, slowly you will realize that sometimes the daughter who marries out is really spilled water, but sometimes it is a wandering tree, and it is really hard to say that the mother's family is still not the mother's family! Don't just look at the appearance, be kind and cherish.

In fact, many people nowadays will not have some of the previous ideas, people in the past would say that the daughter who married out spilled the water, but now many people have changed this idea, and the daughter who marries out will return to her parents' home is also their own home.

The daughter's heart, of course, is still the daughter's home. But in the hearts of my brother or sister-in-law, it is estimated that it is no longer so. Parents will also leave their daughter at home.

Will the daughter who marries go back to her parents' home or her own home? Of course, my mother's home will always be my home.

My mother's home is my own home.

The brother-in-law is the biggest.

What are the grievances.

Mother's family is going to come out.

The daughter who marries out returns to her parents' home, of course, her own home, after all, she is her biological parents, and it is also the place where you were born and raised.

No, according to the old custom, the answer is to go back to your in-laws' house.

It is customary to say, "The daughter who marries out, spills the water", and the daughter who marries out is the person from the husband's family. Therefore, at the beginning of the new year, all families are reunited, and the daughter who marries out should also celebrate the New Year at her husband's house. There is also a superstitious saying that at the end of the year, the deceased elders will go home from the sky to enjoy the incense offerings of the descendants, and the daughters are splashed out of the water, which is an outsider, and the ancestors will not enter the door when they see an outsider and enjoy the incense.

According to today's new thinking, the answer is to go back to either side. As science education continues to spread, fewer and fewer people want to believe these ugly superstitious claims.

The daughter who marries is the daughter-in-law of the husband's family, and the son-in-law is half of the son of the mother's family. In terms of blood, it will not cut off the relationship between mother and daughter and father and daughter because of the sentence "spilled water".

Whether you can go back to your parents' house for the New Year depends on the old customs of each place. As far as most of the rural areas of Guangxi are concerned, the daughter who marries out cannot go home for the New Year, one is hindered by old customs and superstitions, and the other is to consider the daughter's husband's family, and after marriage, the daughter has her own family, and the family is reunited in the New Year, so the daughter should still live in the husband's house.

But except for the beginning.

First, on special holidays such as Chinese New Year's Eve and the 15th Day, the daughter can still return to her mother's home. And it must be returned, because there is a good wish for the newlyweds, that is, after the marriage, the newlyweds visit their relatives for the first time, and the relatives will return a considerable red envelope, wishing the newlyweds to spread out as soon as possible.

Without taking into account the customs of the old days, it is possible to:

1. The mother's family and the husband's family are neighbors or upstairs and downstairs. The two families had a reunion dinner together and spent Chinese New Year's Eve together. I will eat at my mother's house this year and my husband's house next year. More than a dozen people prepare the Chinese New Year's Eve dinner together, celebrate the New Year together, lively and lively, and enjoy the joy of the family.

2. The two families are relatively close, Chinese New Year's Eve is spent at the husband's house, and the second year of junior high school is spent at the mother's house. The son-in-law took his father-in-law's family home for the New Year together, and the neighbors were full of envy when they saw it, and the family was busy in their hands and warm in their hearts.

3. If the mother's family is across provinces or cities from the husband's family, you can consider spending a year in one family, so that the family on both sides will not be left behind.

In particular, if both husband and wife are only children, special consideration should be given to the parents.

Where to go back for the Spring Festival is for family affection, and when we are young, we work hard outside for a year, isn't it also for the family to have a better life. After a hard year outside, the energy is exhausted, and it is time to go home to the safe haven to recharge and prepare for the next year's struggle. The daughter who marries is the daughter-in-law of her husband's family, and the son-in-law is the son of her mother's family, so she is home wherever she goes.

This is a kind of possessive psychology of the mother-in-law, who thinks that the daughter is her own and the daughter-in-law is also her own.

The influence of ancient customs and habits, such as the water spilled by the daughter who got married, Qing Xi Zhousheng's "Awakening Marriage Biography".

The married girl, splashed with water in the ground, you share my belongings! "Dream of Red Mansions".

Bayi: "It's also impossible. As the saying goes:

The daughter who marries out, spills the water',...But no matter what, blood is thicker than water, your mother's home will always be your home, of course, your in-laws' family is also your home because of the emotional bond between you and your husband, and if you have children in the future, you will have both emotional ties and blood ties, of course, it will be your second home!

The daughter who marries out goes back to her parents' home, and she only goes back to her parents' home, her mother's family is the original family, and it is no longer your current home, but the small family of you and your husband is your current home.

It is only natural for a married daughter to return to her parents' home. My mother's home is still my home.

In the past, there was such a saying: the water spilled by the married daughter. It means that after marriage, because the children follow the husband's family name, they do not belong to the family, but with the change of people's concepts, it seems a little outdated to have such a understanding.

Your mother-in-law wants you to be your own person, and you don't want your daughter to be her mother-in-law's person, a proper double standard.

The daughter who marries out will always be her own home as long as the mother is there.

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It is very normal and reasonable for a married daughter to go back to her parents' house to live, and a married daughter can go back to her parents' house at any time. In traditional Chinese culture, daughters are the property of their parents, and they are still the flesh and blood of their parents after marriage. Therefore, the return of a daughter to her parents' home will not cause problems in the marital relationship.

Of course, when a daughter returns to her parents' house to stay with her, she needs to consider and respect her husband's opinions, and arrange family affairs in a reasonable and peaceful manner.