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Marriage can be beautiful, and that depends mainly on the attitude in the heart! If your idea is to be lazy and lazy, to live one day at a time, to get by, to feel unrestrained in the world, and not to have too many responsibilities and concerns, then really don't get married, otherwise you will live a very tired life as you said.
But my thoughts are: the happiest thing in life is to have a concern in your heart, and you have a responsibility on your shoulders that you can't afford! There are concerns.
Responsibility is what makes us feel the true meaning of our life in this world, if there is no responsibility. Without worry, you can't find the driving force behind your own hard work, and your feelings will gradually become indifferent, a person who is indifferent and has no enterprising heart, a person who has no responsibilities and no worries about his wife and children, not only makes others feel that he is superfluous in this world, I am afraid that even he himself may feel that he does not know what he is living in this world for, what is the meaning?
So I think the most important thing is to correct your mentality and try to think in a good direction, so that life will be full of hope and joy! Marriage is not terrible, the point is to cross the hurdle in your heart!
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I never thought of marriage as good. Love is beautiful, but it's only limited to love Now love is so troublesome. Not to mention marriage.
However, people can't always live alone in their lives, it's okay to be young, but it's really old and helpless to rely on when you're old Marriage, there are good sides and bad sides, although tired, but there are two people who love each other to bear together, although they have to work hard for the child, but the child is also a sweet crystallization. Although the pressure is high, there will be someone by your side. Don't just see the side that scares us, after all, sooner or later we have to accept it, right?
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The fear of marriage is because some people see that their parents' marriage is unhappy and quarrel over some big and small things all day long, which will leave a shadow in their hearts. Some people may be filial piety and have been in love before, but the love object is not good, they get along unhappily, and they always quarrel. There are also some people who like to be alone, to be free, and these factors can lead to the fear of getting married and not wanting to get married.
There are actually a lot of people who are afraid of childbearing, so can people who are afraid of marriage and childbearing still crave love? Of course, it is possible to desire love, specifically the following points.
It is necessary to change oneself psychologically, and to see more of the marriage stories of happy couples, which has a certain soothing effect on one's psychological shadow and psychological fear. Others are external causes, how to overcome this psychological fear, your own internal causes have to change, others are scratching their boots, and cannot solve your actual problems. Have an expectation of love, believe in yourself and believe in your lover.
How lonely it must be to go alone in life. Even if you are confident now that I can live this life without anyone else. But when you have gray hair and wrinkled face, how lonely and desperate it must be to be alone in the house and napping.
Learn to self-talk, remind yourself that the other party is very good, suitable for yourself and is someone you like, and this will slowly have a better effect.
To understand your own situation, if you are afraid of social pressure, you can choose not to buy a house for the time being, do not have children, and then consider these when you have the conditions in the future. Of course, the more important thing is to be self-confident and constantly improve your ability to survive, maybe when you reach a higher height than now, the person you want to marry him or her will naturally appear. Finally, I wish you all the best to marry the person you like.
Now this era is very open and free, more and more people will have a lot of opinions on personal feelings, but life is their own life is also their own choice, I think it is better to listen to your own inner thoughts, find your own comfortable lifestyle, and live every day happily.
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"Marital phobia" is a long-term, abnormal, and unrealistic fear of marriage or intimacy.
As for why there is a fear of marriage, there are the following psychological reasons:
1) Trauma in childhood.
Every kind of constant intimidation can be found in the final analysis, in the past, in childhood.
It is generally believed in modern science that fear of a thing can be traced back to external trauma and internal heredity.
The reason why marriage-phobes are full of fear of marriage is probably because most of them have been hurt by their parents and family in childhood, and they are extremely unconfident in marriage and do not believe in love.
Marriage-phobic people often say that they are emotionally traumatized or have the shadow of their parents' marriage breaking down.
Therefore, many people are afraid that they will have the same experience as their original family in marriage. Therefore, the fear of contact with the opposite sex and the fear of establishing intimate relationships is actually a manifestation of insecurity and fear of abandonment.
2) Don't dare to face responsibility.
Many people have been single for a long time, feel free, do not get married, have no children, and have no constraints.
In fact, it's not that they really hate marriage, it's just that there are too many unknown variables hidden in marriage, which they really can't accept and passively change.
What's more, it's easy to fall in love and difficult to get married, there are no economic conditions, few people dare to get married, the pressure is too great, it's too scary.
In the traditional ideology of the Chinese people, marriage is to perpetuate hope and pass on the lineage. There are only melons and seeds, and there are no children and melons, and the overwhelming response to married life has discouraged many people.
All of this is really just two words: "escape".
People who dare not get married because they are afraid or avoid it have also become part of the army of marriage-phobia, simply because they do not want to take responsibility for themselves.
In the end, they may not be able to withstand the strong demands of their relatives and find someone to marry hastily, but most of those marriages end in unhappiness.
3) Fear that there is no love in the marriage.
Would you choose a relationshipless marriage?
I'm sure many people's answer is no!
A marriage without love is even hard to speak, and getting along without feelings is a dream along with a bed.
It is always said that marriage is the grave of love. This quote also serves as a reason for an ideal lover to refuse to marry in pursuit of true love.
How easy it is to fall in love! The happiness of the two people is pure and beautiful, not mixed with all kinds of trivial things in life, and it does not involve the details between the two families. It's just that two people have come together because of feelings and hormones.
But this is not a fear of marriage, it is a fear of growing up.
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There are usually several factors that contribute to marital fear.
The first is caused by factors related to family relationships. Such factors are mainly due to the divorce of parents, or the poor living conditions of parents, which have left a shadow on their childhood, forming a fear and sensitivity to life.
The second is the frustration of emotional experience. Such a factor is usually due to the fact that I did not handle and grasp the previous relationship well.
Third, the influence of surrounding environmental factors. Before everyone enters marriage, they are affected by the life concept of the people around them, and then they become the standard of their own life in the future, when the surrounding environment is full of bad feelings and marriages, full of bad thoughts and life attitudes, they will fear that they will encounter the same thing in the future.
Fourth, a relationship is not yet mature. Such factors are usually that a relationship has just started and has not yet really understood each other comprehensively, but it is subject to the pressure of age and relatives around you, resulting in the choice of entering marriage when the relationship is not mature.
Expert tip: The cause of marital phobia may be because of the unhappiness of one's original family and the disharmony of the relationship between parents, which causes psychological shadows; Have had a failed emotional experience; Influenced by the perception of the destruction of the lives of those around them; A relationship has not yet reached the stage of maturity before entering the choice of marriage. It is recommended that patients look at examples of family happiness and change their perception of marriage.
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