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The key to maintaining a good relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is not intimacy, but what are the points? If you want to maintain a good relationship between your mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, your daughter-in-law must think about problems from the perspective of her mother-in-law, and let her husband solve them when she encounters them, and don't solve them privately.
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First of all, you must have your own opinions, don't be too weak, only if you have momentum, you won't be led by others; Secondly, we should be more tolerant and understanding, and less scolding and questioning.
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What is the most appropriate distance for the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law? I feel that the following needs to be done.
First, after getting married, the mother-in-law tries not to live with her, if she needs the mother-in-law to help take care of the children and has to go to work, then she has to give the mother-in-law a certain amount of living expenses every month. Or give some pocket money.
Second, the mother-in-law should tell the mother-in-law clearly what things he should worry about when taking the child, and he should not cross the line to educate the child It is the job of the parents, so the mother-in-law is just tutoring your life. Help you reduce the stress of household chores. You appreciate it.
Speak nicely, and don't make your mother-in-law feel disgusted.
Third, do not enter and exit the mother-in-law's private room at will, let alone interfere with the mother-in-law's freedom of life. Mother-in-law's usual circle of friends, don't ask yourself. Don't take advantage of your mother-in-law, if your mother-in-law gives you a gift, you must return the gift.
Fourth, get along with your mother-in-law, if you encounter a conflict, don't say bad things about him behind your back, and you must solve this problem in front of your mother-in-law. Or ask your husband for assistance, and the three of them discuss countermeasures together. Don't even speak ill of his mother in front of your husband, it's a big taboo.
Fifth, the mother-in-law helps you take care of the children, and at this time gives you help and support, don't treat the mother-in-law as a person. In life, you should respect your mother-in-law and have a home, and your mother-in-law should be grateful for helping you bring a child. Mother-in-law came to your house as a guest.
Sixth, everyone is independent in life, keep a certain distance, and emotionally, everyone respects each other. Don't rely too much on it. To do what you have to do is to do your part. When it is time to be filial to your mother-in-law, you should be filial.
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What kind of distance should mother-in-law and daughter-in-law keep? Not far away, not close, respect each other, respect each other. Because there is no blood relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, there is no basis for long-term life running-in, if there is really no sense of distance between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, the result must be a big mess.
Don't think that mother-in-law and daughter-in-law can really be unscrupulous and hook up like a biological mother and daughter, that would be very wrong. It's just an attitude, an angle, a psychological suggestion, and even a morality.
The best relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is to quarrel when they should be noisy, to make trouble when they should be noisy, and if they are not used to seeing each other, they will say it clearly, and they will not hold grudges, even if they are very noisy at the time, and after half a day, they can go shopping and eat together hand in hand. Everyone is under the same roof, even if no one else is at home, even if the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law do not talk to each other, the atmosphere is harmonious and does not feel embarrassed. If you have a conflict with your husband, you can go to your mother-in-law to complain about your husband's bad words and find comfort in your mother-in-law.
If the mother-in-law has any troubles, she can also complain to the daughter-in-law.
Economically, mother-in-law and daughter-in-law do not distinguish between each other, and when the family wants to use money, anyone can give it, and there is no need to care. If the money in your pocket is spent, you won't think that you will suffer a loss, and you will take the initiative to buy what you lack at home, and you will not buy a duplicate after notifying the other party after buying. The best mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationship is like a girlfriend, better than a girlfriend, like a friend is better than a friend, closer than a mother-daughter relationship, distressed by each other, considerate of each other, and can also say heart-wrenching words to each other.
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The best relationship is to keep your distance from each other.
In the 70s of the last century, a scholar proposed a theory of family affinity: the distance of a bowl of soup.
I still agree with the suggestion made by the fiancée of my old classmate, renting a suite for my in-laws in the same community, which seems to be a little impersonal and costly, but it is actually the best solution. It is not only convenient to take care of and accompany the in-laws, but also to ensure the two-person world of the young couple, and can greatly reduce the conflicts in the marriage.
A friend of mine who has been doing psychological research for many years has also advised many young people that it is best not to live with their parents for five years after marriage. Because the first few years of marriage are the process of the couple running in with each other and getting used to each other, this process is not easy, when the filter of freshness fades, marriage is something that will make people feel disappointed, and most people need time to re-digest and accept.
If some external factors such as mother-in-law and daughter-in-law conflicts are mixed in this process, it will only exacerbate the intensification of the contradictions, and it is easy for the emotional contradictions between the two people to degenerate into family conflicts or even marital conflicts.
When the heart is cold, it will no longer be warm, and when the marriage has deteriorated, it will never be able to change back.
When you get along day and night, it is easy to see each other's shortcomings, and sooner or later you will look at each other and get tired of each other. And distance produces beauty, and if there is such a distance between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, there will be more politeness, enthusiasm, and tolerance, and the relationship will naturally become closer and closer.
Therefore, whether it is between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, or between parents and children, if you want to reduce conflicts and get along happily, there is really no need to stick to each other towards the morning and twilight, maintain a close distance, care for each other and do not interfere with each other, it is a good policy.
Finally, I would like to give a suggestion to all young couples: if you want to avoid the differences between the two generations, the best way is to live separately, if you can't live separately, you must try to make big things small, small things, and turning old accounts into two big weapons that hurt marriage.
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What is the best distance to keep in the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law?
The best relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is the distance of "a bowl of soup".
Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are not enemies, they are family members, but family members should also have an appropriate distance. Between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, no matter how far away they are, it is still best not to live under the same roof, because getting along day and night in the same space is easy to become casual, and maybe which sentence is wrong will hurt each other's hearts.
The proper distance between family members is to give each other enough space, I can be by your side when you need me, and I can not disturb when you don't need to, this is the best family relationship, and it is also the best mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationship.
Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law should be like relatives who are not far away, and such a distance is the most appropriate. The distance between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is actually a sense of proportion between each other, and the sense of proportion can reduce many contradictions.
The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is very delicate, too close and awkward, too unfamiliar and inhumane. And a good relationship requires us to grasp the subtleties.
The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is actually not complicated, the key is to recognize each other, mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are not enemies, but after all, there is no blood relationship, and the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law arises because of the same love for a man.
Therefore, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law should not be far or close, how can it be not far or close, and get along like relatives.
There is no need to live together, but you can gather on holidays, and you must understand this relationship with each other, and you still need to have the etiquette that should be there. Gifts and red envelopes for major holidays are also a way to deal with the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, and this sense of ritual must not be ignored. Just like when we go to relatives, you give gifts and I return gifts, and the same is true between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, so it is easy to warm up the relationship.
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First, retreat within boundaries. It is to respect your mother-in-law as your elders, but you can't be coquettish like your parents or take it for granted that your mother-in-law is like your parents. Also, don't show a flattering posture at all times, because the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law needs a kind of respect and love, not flattery.
Second, be filial but not demanding. For example, if you give your mother-in-law a gift, but your mother-in-law turns around and gives it to your sister-in-law, you may feel that your mother-in-law is very partial. Or, if you quarrel with your husband, your mother-in-law not only does not educate her son, but also speaks ill of you to others.
Everyone will feel very angry when encountering this kind of thing, but think about it from another angle, no one will love others more than their children. Therefore, the daughter-in-law should be filial to her mother-in-law, but she should not force her mother-in-law to love herself more than her children.
Third, be considerate and grateful to each other. Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are more likely to have conflicts because they will overlap in the division of labor in the family and have different concepts of parenting. Living together will definitely produce contradictions, even if lovers get along, there are times when they quarrel, not to mention mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.
Therefore, the mother-in-law should understand and respect the concepts and ways of getting along with young people, while the daughter-in-law should do her homework on how to get along with the elderly. Both parties should be grateful for each other's efforts, and should not take what the other party does for granted.
Fourth, put the relationship between husband and wife first. In the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, the husband's approach is indeed crucial. When encountering problems, the husband needs to communicate with his mother in advance, and also minimize the negative impact of the previous generation on the new family.
The daughter-in-law should also be generous, and she can't directly conflict with her mother-in-law, and if she is dissatisfied, she can communicate with her husband first.
Do these things well, then your mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationship will definitely be very harmonious.
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Since ancient times, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law has been a difficult problem to solve, mother-in-law is not a mother, and daughter-in-law is not a daughter, so there are often more contradictions in those who treat mother-in-law as a mother-in-law, or treat daughter-in-law as a daughter-in-law. So how should the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law get along? My suggestion is to keep an appropriate distance between the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, and to be close to each other differently, which will be more conducive to maintaining a good relationship between the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.
The best way to get along between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is neither to be like mother and daughter, nor to be enemies of each other, but to maintain appropriate boundaries between the two. Two people are well together, which is the best way to get along. The daughter-in-law should be especially sober, the mother-in-law is not her own mother, so when the mother-in-law secretly stuffs delicious food for her son to eat, or washes clothes, you don't have to worry about it.
Mother-in-law is not a mother after all, so daughter-in-law don't expect her mother-in-law to tolerate your hypocrisy and willfulness; The daughter-in-law is not a daughter-in-law, so the mother-in-law should not be too harsh on the daughter-in-law for not doing many things in place.
Mother-in-law is mother-in-law, daughter-in-law is daughter-in-law, mother-in-law and daughter-in-law must grasp each other well, and respect each other may be the best way for mother-in-law and daughter-in-law to get along.
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The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is an intimate relationship, but in today's society, this often develops into another extreme: "bitterness and hatred", no one can get used to who is the norm, and it also makes the man in the middle physically and mentally exhausted. But why do some families have a harmonious relationship with their mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, while some families have a lot of trouble?
The reasons for this are thought-provoking, but finding ways to improve them is what we need to do.
Getting married and having children is the dream of many people's lives, and it is also everyone's common wish to choose a couple and enjoy a leisurely married life. However, there are still many families with three generations and four generations living together, and although the life is very lively, it is easy to create many conflicts, such as cooking, washing clothes, and buying things.
The older generation lives a hard life and is accustomed to being diligent and thrifty, which is a good thing worth advocating. However, in the process of implementation, due to some objective factors, it is often too much, and the life is very urgent, and the diet can be saved, which is really unbearable for the daughter-in-law who is used to being pampered. If you shop, your mother-in-law will say that you spend money indiscriminately, you don't know how to run a house, and if you don't buy, you can't bear the embarrassing life, and the contradictions accumulate bit by bit.
As the saying goes, "pain is not clear", contradictions are like blood vessels, if they are not smooth, they will be blocked, and there will be big lesions, as a male member of the family, they must show their own attitude when facing the problem of mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.
There are several principles in this: impartiality, doing things on the facts, respecting the old and loving the young.
Let's talk about the first principle first, if you find that there is a contradiction between your mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, you must show a fair attitude when dealing with it, so that it will be more convincing and easy to resolve the contradiction between you from the root. For example, on the issue of how much salt to put in cooking, you can explain the harm of excessive salt intake, so that the mother-in-law herself knows the harm of eating more.
Talking about things is a kind of life attitude, showing an open-minded and generous pattern of life, which is also an attitude that must be had to deal with the conflict between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law; For example, when it comes to online shopping, you can ask your wife to buy appropriate and buy necessities. At the same time, tell the mother to respect the lifestyle of young people and explain the advantages of cheap and fast online shopping.
Respecting the old and caring for the young is actually a traditional virtue of the Chinese nation, which is also in line with today's social concepts. When the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is not good, it is necessary to persuade the mother-in-law to love and care for the daughter-in-law from the perspective of respecting the old and loving the young, and the daughter-in-law should be in awe and filial piety to the mother-in-law.
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Keep your distance, respect each other, and don't interfere in each other's lives, so that many conflicts can be avoided.
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After getting married, if the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law does not get along well, try not to live with your mother-in-law. If there is less contact with chaos, there will be fewer contradictions.
Once your mother-in-law treats you as a daughter, and you treat your mother-in-law as a mother, it's broken, why? You take your mother-in-law as your mother, how do you deal with your mother? Casually, the two of them just scolded and broke the bones and tendons, but you say a heavy word to your mother-in-law, or she says a heavy word to you, can you stand it, you must remember it for a lifetime, so she is not a real mother and daughter, don't treat your mother-in-law as a mother.
I think that a good mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationship is inseparable from these. The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law has always been a big problem in traditional Chinese marriage. Since ancient times, the problem of mother-in-law and daughter-in-law has plagued countless couples. >>>More
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My mother-in-law is a very good person, good-tempered but very principled and reasonable, we did not live with my parents-in-law, but will often go back to live for a few days, they respect our privacy, I have not done any housework in my mother-in-law's house, at most occasionally sweep the floor or occasionally brush the dishes, my parents-in-law will never be picky, really treat me as their own child love! There will be times when we disagree, but they will respect our choice. The more I got to such a father-in-law and mother-in-law, I was really lucky and happy. >>>More
is good to you, and guards against you everywhere in your heart, after all, you are not her daughter, for fear that you will take advantage of her family.