Why does my family of origin want me to marry?

Maybe your parents think that only when you get married can you have a home and a family, and your parents think that in this way you are not alone, you have to rely on, someone to protect, and you have a sense of security, and they will have a sense of security. Pity the hearts of parents all over the world, in fact, this is a manifestation of their love for you.

Maybe it's because you're old and you're not too young, and your family is starting to urge you to get married and find a partner, which is a very normal phenomenon, and many family members are like this.

It is the family's expectation of you, who wants to make you happy, and can solve lifelong events to make the family feel at ease.

This is also the hope that parents can find someone to rely on, find someone who can shelter you from the wind and rain, they can't take care of you for a lifetime, and they don't want you to be alone.

Many parents think that their children must have their own families when they grow up, otherwise they will be very worried, afraid that they will be lonely for life. And parents think that their children will be suspicious of society if they do not get married.

This kind of universal law behind the original family will bring him life and mental depression, which is not only emphasized by the motivation of psychology, but also the conclusion of the general recognition of the psychological community, this kind of "fatalism" gives us more space to see the future, this bad family environment, not only will affect their own development, but even affect the people around them.

Psychologist Wu Zhihong said: "The harm caused by the original family is the unforeseen harm to the individual and the family, and it is in this way that if you want to start the second half of your life with a person, you must first understand the other party's original family." ”

Because there is a huge difference between the heart that a person hides and the appearance he shows is very different, so in the end, whether a man with a bad original family is worth marrying, these three women told the truth.

Ms. A and her husband have violent tendencies in the family.

The husband has lived in a violent environment since he was a child, and his parents often quarrel and even fight at home over trivial family matters. Growing up in this situation, he also learned to solve problems in this way.

This habit of raising and failing since childhood has even become a kind of nature, and it can be said that it is impossible for him to change, and this emotional and violent environment affects not only me, but also the next generation. Endless regrets, and in the end, the marriage can only end with divorce.

Ms. B's husband was depressed due to her family of origin.

The disharmony of the original family leads to disputes between parents, and parents will transfer this dispute to their husbands, so "melancholy" has become synonymous with him.

But he never put this kind of harm on me, and the spontaneous desire to protect was my choice to be with him. It was also in this environment that my husband knew how to treat me and hurt me, because he was hurt, and he also wanted to work for others.

Ms. C's husband came from a poor family.

Poor couples mourn everything", Ms. C recalled that her marriage was only endless pain and sorrow, and her husband's parents quarreled over the bride price before marriage, and after marriage, they intervened in each other's lives. The poverty brought to the husband by this kind of original family is engraved in the bones, so the husband treats money like his family, and there are only endless savings and sorrows in married life.

The differentiation of "big" and "small" in the family structure, the experience of "big family" will inevitably affect the handling of "small family", this influence is imperceptible, and the husband and his own family are also inseparable, when you realize that this "big family" has a family state that you cannot change, it is very dangerous to walk on a single-plank bridge.

This sensational family ethic will allow us to see the darkness of human nature that we have not endured, marriage is the happy union of two families, if you have already perceived the other party's family situation before marriage, then this situation will go deeper and deeper in contact.

The saying that you get rich through labor is the best proof at all times. Conversely, in a lazy family, there is usually no change in the family situation. watched Qiao Zuwang in the drama "Children of the Qiao Family", he didn't wait by his wife's side before giving birth, and even when his little sister asked him to come to the hospital to wait for his wife, he suspected that people were nosy.

When the child was young, he was not by his side, and he did not realize the risks he was taking as a father. After the death of his wife, his children became the backbone of the family again, but he was still the same, very lazy.

Qiao Yi became what would take on the responsibilities of the family with his innocent shoulders, which was completely influenced by his mother, and had nothing to do with Qiao Zuwang. At that time, it was really not easy to have such a good wife. If it were today, there might not be any woman who could stand this kind of man.

When a woman chooses a love partner, she first understands the other party's family situation, and at least knows whether his original family is good or bad in the user evaluations of relatives and friends.

Nowadays, most of the family situation is that women will be very strong, and children and husbands rarely have the control in daily life. However, most of the children who grow and develop in this kind of environment will have a weak temperament, and they may also be "Bao Ma Men".

It's not that this kind of man is not good, it's just that when she was growing up, the opportunity to express herself had already been silently snatched away by her mother. For a long time, such men will forget how to express themselves, have no opinions, and will consult their mothers no matter how big or small. Especially in a family where the male mother is tough, it will cause great harm to his mind and body.

If you really marry into this kind of family, and then there will be a relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, whether it is right or wrong, he will always stand with his mother.

There is nothing wrong with this, but as a man, when there is a conflict between the mother and the wife, the most correct thing to do is not to stand up, but to find a way to solve the conflict between each other and solve the problem that caused the conflict. The original family has a great influence on a person, and what kind of family will raise what kind of children. A perfect, resolute and confident person will also be excellent in family culture and education, at least if you get married, you will not be easy to suffer a lot of grievances.

Patriarchal families, lazy families, mothers-in-law strong families, and families with particularly strong parents' desire to control, these kinds of families should not be married.

The original family is lazy, often loses temper, and often drinks heavily, if there are these situations, don't marry them.

The family relationship is not good, and the preference for sons is preference, if the original family has these situations, do not marry.

I would consider breaking up because the other person's original family was not good. Marriage is not just a simple union of two people, it is a matter of two families. And if the other party's family of origin has problems, then it means that the person has grown up in an unhealthy environment of the family of origin, and his body and mind will be affected by the family of origin.

Therefore, the other party's family problems will also become a key issue to consider in a relationship.

In fact, this is very similar to the "family pair", the original family can actually reflect the other party's growth environment and character, if the gap between the two families is too big, then the education is not the same, the attitude towards things is also different, it is difficult for two people to get along, and it is inevitable to encounter differences and contradictions. The point is that neither side has a way to understand each other, after all, two people grew up in different environments and cannot empathize and understand each other.

Many people feel very happy when they watch the story of Cinderella when they are young, but the probability of success in real life is extremely low, a rich second generation and the daughter of a poor family, even if they get married, their married life will not be happy, it is inevitable that there will be a rich mother-in-law in the TV series who looks down on the poor family and daughter-in-law, this is the reality, fairy tales are just fairy tales.

The influence of the original family on a person's mind is a lifetime, although many people are not aware of it, but this influence is in the bones, and it is not something that can be changed by oneself after adulthood. Many children of domestic violence families will also have a tendency to domestic violence, and many children from divorced families have a weak concept of family, some people are very eager for the family, and some people have no sense of responsibility for the family, which is the impact of the original family, and there is no way to change it in a lifetime.

In fact, to a certain extent, the relationship between parents and the mode of getting along will have a very serious psychological impact on the child, although it cannot be seen on the surface, but it will slowly manifest itself after the child gets married and grows up. If the difference between the two families is too great, then there will definitely be problems in the process of getting along. Many children learn from their parents' behaviors, and this unconscious behavior often has the deepest impact on children.

So when the other party's original family is not good, I will always worry, even if there is only a one percent possibility, I will give up because of this. After all, after getting married, no one can guarantee that they will not be affected by the original quiet pants family.

That is to say, in such a family environment, if you marry in the past, there will be many conflicts, such as the conflict between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law or the fact that you can't get along.

Although you and your husband have a good relationship, you can't stand the contradictions and emotions like this every day, and sooner or later there will be big problems.

Unless the two of you go out alone to rent a house and buy a house, stay away from them.

For girls, the other party's poor family conditions will make their married life difficult. Therefore, when you are faced with this situation, you need to deal with it carefully.

Not necessarily, this should be viewed objectively, what is not good.

If it is said that the family is poor, there is no money. However, if the family education is good, the personnel are honest and kind, and the three views are correct, they can still get married.

If you have no money, your character is also very poor, and you are mercenary, don't get married.

Or if there are many family conflicts, complicated interpersonal relationships, and intrigues, don't get married, and you may live comfortably in the future.

The original family is not something that can be decided by oneself, but it can be decided by oneself about the quality of one's own efforts, acquired efforts, and a person's quality! It's still up to the person who knows him!

The mother is strong and irritable, and the father is weak and incompetent.

1.My sister's junior high school grades are okay, but she was stuffed into an unreliable high school, she didn't get a bachelor's degree in the college entrance examination, she didn't let her sister go to a junior college, and she was stuffed by her mother to an even more unreliable uncle's company, which is called "learning technology" and "finding a good job", in fact, the truth is to let my sister clean up there, who cares about her after graduating from high school? She told her mother that she didn't believe it.

My sister worked part-time for a year or two, forced her to get married on a blind date, and when she met someone who seemed to be okay, she immediately talked about marriage. The wedding banquet was not placed, and the mother bluntly said, "I am sensible and will not waste the man's money", and the mother said that the bride price was too much. As a result, after marriage, my sister closed as soon as she became pregnant, and the family moved to another place to rent a house and work as a casual worker, and during the period of childbirth, my sister was alone at home to give 1,000 living expenses a month, and she was also responsible for buying vegetables and doing housework, and her mother-in-law often said that her sister was too good at spending money.

One thousand a month! Buy food for the whole family! The nutritional products that the baby eats when she is pregnant are also bought by her sister!

The man's family still has no house! The man's father is still addicted to gambling! Mother now expresses regret!

Regret! The father was silent and indifferent as usual.

2.My mother gave me the exam in my third year of high school, and she quarreled with me many times, can you believe it? As soon as I said the wrong thing, she blackened her face and lost her temper.

As for what I said wrong? She delivered the food too late and I couldn't break the curfew in the morning, I expressed my dissatisfaction and hoped that she would come early, and she immediately lost her temper with me, blackfaced, and scolded me in the cafeteria. In the end, I had a bad attitude in the college entrance examination and got the worst grades in high school, and I wanted to repeat it, but my mother forced me to repeat it, and I felt shameless.

In the end, a few students in the class who didn't do well in the exam with similar grades to repeat the exam, and they all got good grades in the second year. A younger sister in the neighborhood also repeated the exam, which happened to be better than me in the second year, and my mother regretted it even more. As usual, the father was silent and indifferent.

3.Yes, whether it is me or my sister, our own reasons for the current situation cannot be ignored. My sister really didn't work hard in high school, and I really didn't have a good mentality, and we were all too weak when it came to making decisions, and what others said was what they said.

But can the parental factor be ignored? Don't ask for full support, just ask that when making decisions, it's good that she doesn't block you. The mother in the family has all the right to speak, and everyone has to act according to her face, but has she made any right decisions?!

My father has always been a shopkeeper who doesn't care about anything, and my mother sometimes complains about my father's inaction, and even scolded my grandparents when my father was unemployed and at home during the epidemic. What kind of "brainy" approach is this?! And even at such times, the father was blindly silent and indifferent!

It's stupid and pathetic! The best lesson my parents have taught me so far is to make your own decisions and not listen to them!