What joke makes a cold person laugh?

1.This morning, I got up late again, and I must have been late to get to the unit. I'm busy sending a text message to the leader:

Didn't you say you were going to the head office to get the information? I'll go! The leader replied:

Do sleepy high "What's wrong today?" Xiao Liu. Xiao Wang.

Xiaodong, and you all asked to get information. I read it, and hurriedly sent a pure ruler message to the leader: "The information is important, and there should be more than one person to escort it!"

2.A lazy cat frantically pursued a mouse, and finally got married, after the marriage, the cat was very harsh on the mouse, and the mouse quickly became fat, and the mouse was very moved, and asked the lazy cat: "Why is my dear so good to me!" The cat smiled: "I'll know when you're a little fatter." ”

3.I remember that year in the college entrance examination, I didn't rely on it very well, so I told my father truthfully that the test results were not satisfactory and so on. My father said helplessly: If it doesn't work, just repeat it. At this time, the grandfather who was sitting on the side said angrily: If you can't pass the test, you can't pass the test, what kind of poison do you take?

4.My wife asked me to get a haircut, saying that my hair was too long and not good-looking, and my son said, "Don't do it."

I praised my son: "You have an opinion, you can't do everything according to your mother's words." And the son said,

If you cut your hair, it won't look any better than it is now, it looks like this, don't waste money. ”

5.After the geography lesson, the teacher asked a primary school student, "What did you gain from this lesson?"

Elementary school student: "The biggest thing I learned was that I felt that my teacher was smarter than my father." The teacher smiled and said

Let's talk about it. Elementary school student: "My dad only knew that the earth was spinning when he drank, and you know it without drinking."

6.When I was a child, my mother threatened to hit me with a belt, and how smart and clever I was, I saw through her lies and said:

Recently I saw a funny:

Wo Chun" Lu Youshi.

The dark plum smells the flowers, the lying branches are sad and hateful, the distant smell is like water, and it is easy to penetrate the spring green.

The shore is like green, the shore is like green, and the shore is like green.

A Chinese teacher in Shandong with a strong rural accent pronounced this poem as:

I'm stupid" I'm not educated, I have a very low IQ, and if you want to ask me who I am, a big stupid donkey.

I'm a donkey, I'm a donkey, I'm a stupid donkey.

Classic funny, haha!

Tongue. A pure girl in college met a handsome guy working in a fast food restaurant, and the handsome guy asked, "Do you pack it?" The girl said calmly: "Well, darts." After saying that, the stormy waves in the girl's heart. My image?

The joke of the little white rabbit and a hundred little breads.

My little child is only 2 years old, and yesterday he had an itch on his hand, so I helped him scratch it, and after scratching his hand, he said, "Mom, the itch ran to my feet", which broke me.

A family just gave birth to a child, this child is strange, just born will call people, he shouted "grandpa", his grandfather immediately fell to the ground and died, and shouted "grandma", his grandmother also died immediately, everyone panicked, hurriedly found a tape to glue the child's mouth shut.

When everyone was busy with his grandparents' funeral, he suddenly saw that the child broke free of the tape and was about to open his mouth to speak, his father hurriedly went to cover the child's mouth, but it was too late, and the child called "Dad", and his father thought about it, and sat on the ground and waited for death.

At this moment, there was chaos outside, and someone shouted: "Zhang San next door is dead!" ”

How do you make a drink bigger?

Recite the Great Compassion (Cup) mantra.

Once upon a time there was a steak of medium rare.

and a piece of medium-rare steak.

Met on the street.

Why don't they say hello?

They don't know each other.

The last thing you want to happen when you're grilling.

The meat is cooked with you.

One day, the bird flew from the forest to the seashore to spend 1 hour. But it took 2 hours on the way back! why？

Because it was raining at the time! So you have to cover the rain with one hand and fly with the other.

What chicken runs fast in the world? What chicken is slow?

Kentucky chicken nuggets (fast).

Nicole Killman (slow).

On the plane, a flight attendant asked a little girl"Why does an airplane fly so high without hitting the stars? "

What animal is most likely to be stuck to a wall?

Sea (newspaper) leopard.

Who will help you with your meal when you are full?

Flying dragons, because flying dragons are in (heaven) Tim.

What are the surnames of Zhou Yu and Zhuge Liang's mothers?

Both Shengyu and He Shengliang.

Cars can fly. Guess a drink, please.

Coffee. Because. car) - (fly).

Star. Moon. Which one of the sun is dumb?

Stars, because: There is a sentence in Lu Binghua's song The stars in the sky don't speak Who is the hardest to associate with?

Lily, because every grain (Lily) is hard.

What animal is the most powerful?

Pigs, because pigs (abacus) are masters.

Two people fell into the trap, the dead are called dead, and what are the living called?

Call for help. Wolves, tigers and lions who will definitely be eliminated when playing the game?

Wolves, because: Momotaro (knocking out wolves).