Who has a long joke that doesn t have to be too long but not too short?

Xu Wei (1521-1593), the character Wenqing, later changed to the character Wenchang, called Tianchi Shanren, Qingteng Taoist, also alias Tian Shuiyue, Shanyin (now Shaoxing) people, Ming scholars, calligraphers and painters, but also the pioneer of the ideological emancipation movement in the late Ming Dynasty. He wrote many couplets in his life ("Xu Wei Ji" contains 118 couplets, which is rare in the Ming Dynasty, and there are 12 long couplets of more than 40 characters, and there is almost no second person in the Ming Dynasty). In particular, he was the first to break through the 100-character long couplet, and the 140-character long couplet inscribed for the main hall of Shaoxing Kaiyuan Temple still exists), and so far Xu Wenchang has some stories of couplets circulating in Zhejiang.

Xu Wenchang came to Hangzhou when he was fourteen years old. At that time, the prefect of Hangzhou had no one in his eyes, and when he learned that Xu Wenchang wrote poems and paintings in Hangzhou, which was quite appreciated by people, he was greatly annoyed, thinking that a little hairy child dared to dance and ink in his jurisdiction, and he really didn't know the height of the sky, so he sent a servant to summon Xu Wenchang to the couplet. He threatened to expel him from the city if he did not meet him.

Xu Wenchang was calm and composed, and he agreed. The prefect took Xu Wenchang to the West Lake, pointed to the Liuhe Pagoda, and said Shanglian: The six towers are heavy, with seven edges and eight corners on all sides.

Xu Wenchang didn't speak, just raised his hand. The prefect thought it was wrong and was secretly happy. He got carried away and pointed to Uncle Bao's Pagoda, and came up with another link:

Bao Shu Tower, the top of the tower, sharp as a pen, the pen writes all over the world. Xu Wenchang still didn't say a word, but pointed to the Jindai Bridge with his finger, arched his hand to the prefect, and then, spread his hands evenly, and raised it upward.

When the prefect saw that Xu Wenchang still didn't have it, he said angrily: I can't even say a word, what kind of prodigy is it! Immediately ordered:

Get him out! At this time, Xu Wenchang laughed confidently: Hugh is rude, the next link has long been right!

The prefect said angrily: You dare to quibble unreasonably and fool this mansion? Xu Wenchang explained:

You are the mouth, I am the hand. Hand on hand! What is the meaning?

The prefect asked.

Xu Wenchang replied: Raised his hand to the first couplet, that is, one palm is flat, five fingers are three long and two are short; To the second arch arch hand, both hands are evenly spread, up to the top, is to say that the brocade bridge, the bridge hole is round, round like a mirror, the mirror shines on the country of Kyushu. The prefect was speechless when he heard this, so he had to leave in a huff.

Teachers and students.

The geography teacher asked the students, does the river flow to **?

One of the students stood up and sang, "The river flows eastward."

The teacher ignored him, and then said, "How many stars are there in the sky?"

The classmate sang again: The stars in the sky are in the Beidou.

The teacher was angry: You get out of here!

Student: Let's go.

The teacher said helplessly: Are you sick?

Student: You have me, I have it all!

Teacher: Try one more thing.

Student: When the road is uneven, I roar!

Teacher: Do you believe that I beat you up?

Student: Shoot when it's time to strike.

The teacher is angry: I will let you quit school!

Student: Storm in Kyushu!

Hehe, I wish in advance to the brothers and sisters who are wandering outside.

The British, Americans, and Japanese flew on the same plane; They were accidentally wrecked and forced to land in Africa (an area where cannibals are said to be sometimes infested), but unfortunately the three of them were picked up for dinner before they could escape. As they watched the cannibals dance with a whirring and frightened gaze, they saw the chief <> come to examine the three fat supper ......The three of them have a glimmer of life and try to communicate with the chief (not in a quick translation, of course!). They use body language to ask the chief to let go ......; The indigenous chiefs agreed, but they came up with a test question to make it difficult for them (of course, it won't be the subject of this joint exam!).

His topic was: Ask the three of them to take out the words and measure them, if they add up to exactly 19 centimeters ......Just release! At this time, the British volunteered to be the first to measure, wow!

It's 7 centimeters! And then there are the Americans 10 centimeters. Finally, the Japanese are two centimeters (ha!).

Ladies and gentlemen, please calculate: 7 10 2 19, right?! The chief kept his word, and let them go.

The three of them left the cannibal village with running and crawling, and ran for their lives!! Walking! Walking!

The Japanese sighed loudly and said: Whew! Good miles plus in.

Just when I was measuring the length, I somehow suddenly got excited! Otherwise. (Otherwise, I'm sure you already know it!)

So, in the opinion of the fool! The strengths and <> of these men should be related to the race (no discrimination!) There is a big relationship!

I was young, but what about you, are you old?

I'm not like you because I'm human.

You're not a plastic bag, don't always pack and pack.

It's all age, I don't have any hooligan consciousness at all, I'm too unmotivated!

Bed, money, bright moon, light, clothes tear the ground, cool; Fear, steal, outlaw month, bow down, die, hometown. - The shortest amazing adventure ethic**.

The son was repaired by his father, and he ran to his mother to complain: "Mom, if someone beats your son, what should I do?" and "I will beat his son" ...... son

In the supermarket, I saw a crab with five flowers tied up crawling from Yuan's freezer to Yuan's cabinet. I'm in tears, you're so self-motivated!

At four o'clock in the middle of the night, a friend called ** and said a word:"That,I just saw on my phone that you missed a call from last year, so I called and asked you what's the matter...

met Sister Feng, fell in love with Sister Feng, and married Sister Feng.

--Hello, trouble calling a car. I was at the XX intersection and was wearing a short black skirt ......

- Okay, to**?

- uh......to the knee ......