Children always like to make excuses, find reasons, and shirk responsibility, how should parents gui

Children always like to make excuses, find reasons, and shirk responsibility, and the method of parental guidance: sometimes, it is not that children are unwilling to admit their mistakes. On the contrary, after recognition, it will attract more punishment, and parents seem to be tolerant and generous, but after telling the truth, they will tear their faces immediately, which will make children mistakenly think that making excuses can be exempted from less and more punishment.

Children should be taught to be brave and have the courage to bear the consequences of their mistakes. To motivate the child to accept the punishment bravely, there is no need to blindly reprimand the baby, it is very easy for the child to lose confidence and cause a sense of evasion.

For children's problems, you don't have to blame the child in front of everyone, which will make the baby want to shirk the responsibility of the psychological state. Being able to carry out separate cultural education and blame after doing things will not only take a certain amount of affection from the child, but also make the child not like to take the initiative to avoid responsibility when he makes a mistake next time. A large part of the baby's concern about taking responsibility is due to the fact that parents are too aggressive and strict with their children.

Too much punishment after making a mistake makes the child afraid of taking the burden incorrectly after making a mistake. The first reaction is to be beaten and scolded by my parents. The most important thing for parents after a child makes a mistake is not to punish him severely, but to correct him carefully, so that the first thing that the child does is not to think that he will be beaten or criticized after doing something wrong.

Instead, think about how to correct your mistakes. Mom and Dad who have been losing their temper at the child is not only not easy for the child to avoid making mistakes because of fear, but it may increase the probability of the child avoiding and lying after making a mistake. Many parents will not carefully come out to communicate with their children carefully when they encounter things, and try to understand the thoughts of their children's psychology.

The first and most important thing for a child to do something wrong is to "become" himself as a child, and think about why the child does what he does, rather than forcing him to admit his mistake with a voice and a slap. That will also increase the probability that the child will not be willing to admit mistakes.

Some children like to look for the cause of their problems in others, or for a considerable amount of reasons. For example, if he fell carelessly, he either complained about the uneven road, or complained that his parents didn't remind him, and it was not easy to feel that he slipped without looking at the ground conditions. Therefore, he also does not learn a lesson, and the next time he will still fall.

Naturally, the child's main manifestation of professionalism is not the same as the parents' way of doing things and educational philosophy.

There is a big correlation. Therefore, in addition to teaching their children to learn to take responsibility, parents also need to teach their children by word and deed and be a model for their children.

Guide your child to "I'm sorry" and extend it to "at your own risk". This mom rushes to say "I'm sorry" when her child does something wrong, and then acts as if it's okay, which is something I often see. Some children say "I'm sorry", and when they find out that the other person won't let go, they will add "I've already said I'm sorry, what else can I do".

Every time I see this, I guess that parents may have made a mistake when guiding their children to say "I'm sorry".

In such a situation, you should communicate well with your child, tell your child that if you are wrong, it is useless to make excuses, and since you are doing something wrong, you need to bear the corresponding responsibility.

Parents should communicate well with their children, so that they can take responsibility for themselves, so that children can complete some things independently, and develop good habits.

Parents who like to shirk their responsibilities have not yet grown up, and they cannot bear the consequences of making mistakes psychologically, if they shirk the responsibility to their children, the children are easy to form a timid and fearful character, which will inevitably affect the healthy growth of their children.

Because parents don't want to be held responsible. If the matter is pushed to the child, the child will have the idea of dissatisfaction with the parents, which will make the relationship between the parents and the child serious over time, which is not conducive to the harmony of the family.

There can be many reasons for parents to shirk their responsibilities, some of which may include:

1.Lack of self-awareness: Some parents may not know what their responsibilities are, or recognize their mistakes but are unwilling to admit and accept the consequences.

2.Controlling: Some parents may want their children to do exactly what they want them to do, and if the child doesn't, they may shift the blame to the child.

3.Stress: Parents may face a lot of stress at work or in life, which can cause them to be unable to take responsibility for themselves or pass stress on to their children.

Children may have different thoughts and feelings in the face of parental shirking behavior, depending on the child's personality, age, and circumstances. Here are some possible feelings:

1.Feelings of helplessness: Children may feel helpless because they think they are unable to change their parents' behavior.

2.Anger: Children may feel angry and resentful because they perceive their parents as irresponsible and do not care about their feelings and needs.

3.Self-blame: The child may begin to doubt himself and think that he is not doing well enough to satisfy his parents.

4.Anxiety: Children may feel anxious because they are not sure what their responsibilities are or fear that they will make mistakes.

If children feel unable to change their parents' behavior, they may begin to have doubts about their own worth and abilities, which can affect their self-esteem and self-confidence. Therefore, as a parent, you should take your own responsibilities as much as possible, respect your child's feelings and needs, and establish a good communication and trust relationship with your child. At the same time, it is also necessary to help children develop self-awareness and problem-solving skills, so that they can learn to face difficulties and challenges.

Because parents don't recognize their mistakes and always shirk their responsibilities. When these responsibilities are recommended to children, children will develop low self-esteem. As a result, in the child's heart, the parents are not so close.

Parents should encourage their children to do things and then let their children work hard to do them.

Children don't like to do things, and they also like to make excuses very much, at this time parents should encourage their children to do things seriously, to work hard, with good encouragement, in order to let children do things better. But good encouragement is not to spoil your child, but to tell your child to try to do things, let him do things independently, so that the child can be willing to do things.

One: Parents must lead by example.

In terms of educating children, parents also play a great role, so when encountering things, parents should also set an example for their children, and then educate their children, don't make all kinds of excuses when encountering things, you must complete this matter seriously, and complete this thing independently, so that children will know this point of view, and can do things seriously, and will also take parents as role models, and will work harder in the future. <>

2. Have good communication with your child.

If the child is unwilling to do things, then it is not okay to force him to do things, because this situation is forced, which will make the child rebellious. Therefore, when the child is unwilling to do things, we must have good communication with the child and explain to him the importance of doing things, so that the child will not make excuses to do things seriously. And when communicating, it is also necessary to advise children not to make excuses all the time, but to do things well.

Three: What is my personal opinion?

Children who are unwilling to do things need to be educated, because not educating will cause children to become more and more lazy and less able to face some things independently. Therefore, parents must communicate in a timely manner, let their children do things well, don't let him make excuses, and parents should also lead by example and set an example for themselves, so that their children can learn more things. And in some things, parents should not spoil their children too much, which will make children dependent, and the correct way is to let children face some things alone.

Parents should be like guiding their children and setting a good example for them, for example, they can complete it with their children in the form of competitions, which can effectively establish their children's sense of time.

When parents educate their children, they must tell their children that there are many things in life that have to be done, but these things must be done so that they can live a better life.

Parents should tell their children not to make excuses, but also to tell them to be realistic, and if you don't want to do it, you can say it directly, but you can't make excuses directly.

Parents should stop their children's bad habits, let them return to the right path, and guide their children correctly through communication with children or expressions.

Parents should set an example for their children, and guide their children correctly through their daily behavior.

I think that for such a situation, parents should point out their children's mistakes in time and not spoil their children too much.

How to prevent children from shirking their responsibilities from an early ageThe sense of responsibility plays a very important role in the formation of the three views of children's growth, so parents must pay attention to cultivating their children's sense of responsibility, and collect and sort out information on how to prevent children from shirking their responsibilities from an early age. Prevent children from shirking responsibility warning law from an early age, children shirk mainly because they are afraid that parents will punish themselves, so they should also warn children who have made mistakes but do not admit it. If not warned, children will develop the habit of lying.

At the same time, the warning should be appropriately reduced according to the specific situation so that the child is not so nervous. In this way, while talking to your children, you can inform them about the possible negative consequences of prevarication. And let the child gradually realize that he is wrong.

Then you know what to do in the future.

Counselling methods discuss this with your child so that he knows what is right and what is wrong. The opinion of a colleague will affect the person's understanding of right and wrong, and if the child understands in the conversation, the child will not make the same mistake again. And this awareness is acquired in the process of interaction between children, so that not only the people with whom the children themselves interact can also be enlightened.

Discussion methodIf the child makes a mistake at home, it is best for parents to discuss it with the child. In the discussion, mom and dad should communicate in a language that the child can understand, listen to the child's heart, and let the child know what is right, what is wrong, and the result of inappropriate behavior.

When the child discovers the bad of mistakes and lies, mom and dad should praise the child in time and comfort the child appropriately. Over-giving, mainly shows that parents will find ways to give their children everything they want. things, or give the child everything he thinks is needed.

Buying too many toys for the child is even more than the child's actual needs, and when the child grows up, give the child more money than he needs, etc. This behavior saves children from having to put effort and commitment into anything. Because they've been given more than they need, they'll take everything they get for granted.

Parents also give for granted. Of course, it will lead to a lack of responsibility.

Excessive control means that parents occupy a commanding position in their children's upbringing. In other words, they require that the child's growth process be arranged so that the child can do exactly what he wants. Children who grow up in such an environment first lack self, lack the opportunity to make independent choices, and have no opportunity to take responsibility for the results of their choices.

Once you grow up and have the opportunity to choose on your own, it is easy to make a lot of irresponsible choices because you have not tried right and wrong in the first place.

Let them understand the mistake of doing so, tell him what to do, reward and punish him appropriately, let him experience the consequences of doing so, and not be too harsh, lest he be even more afraid to admit his mistake.

In such a situation, parents should educate and cultivate from an early age, and parents should also set an example for their children, set a good example for their children, and should also strictly regulate their children's words and deeds, establish a correct three views for their children, and should also let their children have the courage to take responsibility, and do not shirk responsibility when encountering problems, and should also improve children's ability and awareness in all aspects.

It's really annoying.

If you can't change your child, you have to change yourself – change your own methods.

Combine the play that interests your child with homework as much as possible.

The reason why teachers can't scold may be 1) professional requirements cannot be scolded; 2) After all, it is a kindergarten and does not have to be completed.

Advice, don't be in a hurry, it's useless to be in a hurry. You can see a psychologist to find out what is wrong.

I'm worried that I'm so disgusted with homework now, and what will I do when I go to elementary school in the future.

Avoid a vicious cycle.

Forehead. From such a long question, basically. It has a lot to do with you!!

Lack of communication!! You didn't communicate with him at all!! Skipping Rope Exam ??? Skipping rope for the exam, you jump rope with him??? Do you think it's fun if you don't take the jump rope test???

Attentive or attentive!! After all, it's a kindergarten. The child grows up slowly. The more you push, the more rebellious you become!! The more you push, the harder it is to discipline!! In severe cases, the mother-child relationship will be affected!!

My child always looks for other people's reasons and doesn't recognize his own mistakes, how can he make progress in this way?

I've told him many times that I've tried to find reasons from myself beforehand, but he just won't listen, and I really don't know how to educate him......”

One parent was helpless ......

This parent's troubles are very representative - "the exam paper is not printed clearly, so I regard the division as a plus sign", "this time the teacher's questions are too biased, and many students can't do it", "the students behind me always step on my stool, so I can't listen to the class properly" ......

The reason why children come easily makes many parents feel annoyed.

The phenomenon of children making excuses for themselves is a psychological defense. When people are frustrated, they are psychologically stressed. This state is called a "stress state" in psychology.

At this time, people will take various psychological defensive measures to adapt to the frustration situation in order to reduce or eliminate the tension after the frustration.

Rationalizing an event or situation is one such defensive measure.

Through rationalization, people can excuse themselves by eliminating excuses or reasons for their bad feelings, and feel at ease by forgiving themselves.

However, if it is used too rationally, it is the "Ah Q spirit".

Different from legitimate rationalization, the "Ah Q spirit" is premised on distorting, covering up, or denying reality, which will make people content with the status quo or escape from reality, and eventually hinder development by paralyzing the self.

Therefore, those children who always like to make excuses are over-rationalized and become the "Ah Q spirit".

So, what can parents do to help their children's greenhouses stay away from the "Ah Q spirit"?

First of all, in daily education, parents should infiltrate the concept of "having the courage to take responsibility". Through the small things in daily life, you should tell your child that you should be mainly responsible for the various consequences of your own behavior.

Parents should also set an example of responsibility in front of their children. In order to maintain the dignity of parents, some parents often blame their children for their mistakes, such as "I work so hard for you", "If it weren't for you, I would have ...... a long time ago."”

These words not only fail to achieve the goal of making children understand their parents, but on the contrary, they set a negative example for children to find excuses for shirking their responsibilities.

Secondly, if parents find that their children always like to make excuses, they also need to reflect on whether they are too harsh in punishing their children.

Many children make excuses to escape punishment, if parents are short-tempered, mood swings, and too strict with their children, then the first reaction of children making mistakes is to avoid punishment, and making excuses is a good way to escape punishment in the eyes of children.

Therefore, parents should not lose their temper indiscriminately after their children make mistakes, but can listen attentively to the real reasons and inner thoughts of their children's mistakes, and cancel or reduce the punishment when the child tells the truth.

Only in this way can the child's inner defense be gradually broken, bravely face his own mistakes, and take responsibility for his mistakes, and the courage to take responsibility for the attitude of courage and responsibility is a valuable asset in the child's growth process.