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Only with a sense of boundaries can mother-in-law and daughter-in-law coexist peacefully. Most of the conflicts between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are caused by the lack of a sense of boundaries and the question of who has the final say between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. Where there are people, there are rivers and lakes, and mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are no exception.
Any unilateral concession will lead to the other side taking advantage of it with impunity. <>
On the surface, the daughter-in-law's opinion on the mother-in-law is generally focused on the mother-in-law's doting on the children, always taking advantage of the small family, and subsidizing the weak children. Or the mother-in-law does not contribute to the small family and does not take care of the grandchildren. The mother-in-law's opinion on the daughter-in-law is difficult to serve, thankless, demanding, and the daughter-in-law wastes money.
This is a game between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, sometimes why does the mother-in-law deliberately do it against the daughter-in-law, you don't let the child be fed, she wants to feed, just to control the feeling of the feeling. In the final analysis, the child is first and foremost the daughter-in-law's child, and she really has to come according to the daughter-in-law's request.
Regarding taking advantage of the daughter-in-law, you must refuse to take away the daughter-in-law's skin care products and clothes without permission. After a few rejections, this problem was corrected.
It is difficult to be a mother-in-law, and every daughter-in-law who has a son will eventually become a mother-in-law. Therefore, there are some truths that you will not become a nasty mother-in-law in the future.
Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law live separately, keep a bowl of soup at a distance, and if they don't hang in front of each other all the time, there will be fewer contradictions. The daughter-in-law doesn't care about her idle affairs, she doesn't express her opinions when she dresses and eats, and the province is annoying. Don't mess with your daughter-in-law's things, don't take advantage.
Save some money in your hands, don't reach out to your children everywhere to ask for money, otherwise you will live without dignity.
In short, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law should be good, which is a two-sided thing. A son can't live in the mud, he should face his daughter-in-law, and his mother-in-law is protected by his father-in-law. In this way, the sense of boundaries can come out, everyone can be less angry, and the family can be harmonious.
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From the time when young people get married and have to ask their parents for money to buy a house, hold a wedding, and give a bride price, mother-in-law and daughter-in-law have broken all boundaries. After that, no matter how much you talk about the sense of boundaries, it is in vain.
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If you have a good sense of boundaries between people, many things will not happen.
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This sense of boundaries can be understood in two senses, the first is the physical sense of boundaries, and the second is the psychological sense of boundaries.
First of all, physical boundaries are those that make people uncomfortable when they enter your room or use your belongings without permission or without greeting. The best way to deal with this is to make it clear to her directly, you have your own space and your own exclusiveness, and don't move without your consent.
The second is the psychological boundary, such as being in charge of you and being a domineering president. This kind of depends on your own personality, if you belong to the type that doesn't want to worry about it, then you don't care, if you want to worry about it, and you think you can do better than him, then take the initiative yourself, take the lead in doing what needs to be done before her, and do it better than him.
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If your mother-in-law doesn't have a sense of boundaries, she should try to turn a blind eye at the beginning, and if she goes too far, she has to say it. If your husband is more sensible, you let your husband say it, but if your husband is talking to your mother-in-law, then you can say it directly.
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If such a situation occurs, you ask your boyfriend to persuade him. I believe that he will listen to his son, and I believe that your mother-in-law is very kind.
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The mother-in-law had no sense of boundaries and was very distressed, so she told her husband to tell her husband to tell his mother, believing that she would definitely listen to her son. It's not easy to communicate well.
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In fact, such a thing happens because the mother-in-law has no sense of boundaries, and many families will face such a situation. Mother-in-law, who has no sense of boundaries, always likes to impose her will on others and forcibly step into the lives of others. I don't know how to let go and quit, and I take it for granted to meddle in the lives of my son and daughter-in-law, and I can't extricate myself from it.
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Mother-in-law has no sense of boundaries, if you feel uncomfortable, you can tell your lover and let him talk to his mother tactfully.
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Mother-in-law has no sense of boundaries, obviously because she thinks that you are immature, or that mother-in-law likes to take power alone, participate in everything or help you make ideas.
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Communicate well and don't quarrel. Don't be cold-ward, set things up, be reasonable.
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Mother-in-law is because there are some things, do not distinguish between red and white, no matter what you say, this person's personality factor is not easy to change, because most of the generations are like this, you come to change it will not be able to change for a while, and you have to let your husband talk to his mother alone, I think it is not easy to change, because I am also a mother-in-law.
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This may indicate that you don't want to live with your mother-in-law, and you want to have only your husband and children (and even children don't want to have them) in your life.
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What to do if your mother-in-law has no sense of boundaries: Tell your mother-in-law that we can handle our lives. Mother-in-law can have her own hobbies in life.
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If your mother-in-law doesn't have a sense of boundaries, I think you still have to communicate with your husband and ask your husband to come forward and tell your mother-in-law.
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If he doesn't have a sense of boundaries, you can let his son communicate more with him, tell him that there are some differences between his son being married or not married before, and after all, his son and daughter-in-law are married, and there are many doctrines or things that they still need to deal with by themselves.
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What should I do if my mother-in-law has no sense of boundaries?The mother-in-law may not be educated, and the culture is not high, so you have to forgive him. To understand her!
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Ask your husband to have a good talk with his mother, who will be easier to solve than you are.
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When encountering such a mother-in-law, you can only talk to your lover and let him talk to her mother, which may have a certain effect.
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What kind of boundaries are there?
Are you saying that he always speaks and does things regardless of the occasion, and he says whatever he wants, is that the case?
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If you want to give your mother-in-law a sense of boundaries, the best way is to set rules. But it is also advisable to be yourself.
It is important to understand that everyone is an individual. If you want to be strict with yourself, then others won't mess around with you. So it's up to you to be the ones who matter.
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In fact, I think if you want your mother-in-law to have a sense of boundaries, you should let your husband come forward to make it clear to her, and you have to negotiate it before getting married.
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If you want family harmony, mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationship.
Very important. The more intimate the daughter-in-law and the mother-in-law, the better, nor the more estranged the better, but to maintain a sense of boundaries on the basis of family affection, so that the two people can get along more happily, if you can't maintain a sense of boundaries, it may lead to family conflicts. If you want to grasp the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, you should pay attention to the following points.
First, reduce economic exchanges. There is a good saying, don't use money to test human nature, the same is true between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, don't use money to test the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. It is best for the two to draw a clear line economically, not to covet each other's money, and not to worry about how much money the father-in-law and mother-in-law have in their hands and how much they can give themselves, and the mother-in-law should not try to take the money in the hands of her son and daughter-in-law as her own, only in this way can the two parties get along more happily.
If you always want to get more money from the other party, it will inevitably make the other party feel very uncomfortable. Of course, if the other party needs help, sending charcoal in the snow will definitely make the relationship more harmonious, but you must make it clear whether it is a loan or a gift, and it is not easy to misunderstand if you say it clearly.
Second, don't mind the other person's family. Although the mother-in-law gave birth to a son and raised a son, the son also has his own small family after marriage, so the mother-in-law should not interfere too much in the life of her son, let alone interfere in the housework of the younger couple, especially when the younger couple has a conflict, the mother-in-law can not be towards the son. If there is a conflict between the in-laws, the daughter-in-law had better not get involved, and let the old couple solve it themselves, maybe the contradiction is easier to deal with.
Third, don't expect too much from the other person, and don't work hard to establish a good image. There is a separation between the mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law, not as close as the mother and daughter, so both parties do not have to work hard in order to establish a good image, sacrifice themselves in exchange for praise, will only make themselves more and more uncomfortable, and after a long time, the other party feels at ease, and in the end it is easy to have a gap.
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In married life, the daughter-in-law should maintain a certain sense of boundary with her in-laws. Don't pander to your mother-in-law in everything, learn to refuse, and don't let your mother-in-law interfere too much in your life.
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To maintain boundaries, married life means that the daughter-in-law needs to integrate into a strange and new family, rather than being close to her parents and sisters as in her own family. Just like with strangers, you need to get used to each other. Moreover, it is a member of the in-law's family, and maintaining a certain distance and boundaries is more conducive to people's exchanges.
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Yes, because maintaining a sense of boundaries is the only way to coexist peacefully. First of all, avoid getting too close to your in-laws, and then give them a certain amount of respect and tolerance, while trying to avoid financial contacts.
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It's hard to say, after all, it's not my own mother, but if the relationship between the two is handled well, everyone will get along with each other, and there will be one heart. (ps: The relationship between me and my mother-in-law is no different from my own mother, the main thing is to get along with each other with confidence, don't let it go) I hope it can help you.
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