Psychology What kind of behavior does hesitation between couples

Personal Psychological Factors:

1. The Aronson effect.

The Aronson effect refers to the fact that people like people or things that they like and praise them more and more, and they dislike people or things that seem to be decreasing.

Loved ones and couples, as the ones who praise themselves the most, will naturally gain our liking. However, our desire for praise is endless, and they certainly cannot increase the frequency of praise to an infinite extent, so we will create a situation where when the praise of fellow relatives has passed the peak period, we will be obviously dissatisfied with their performance.

After many lovers have been dating for a while, they will feel that their lovers don't care so much about themselves, in fact, comparing the performance of lovers before and after, you will find that in fact, there is not much difference between what lovers do, but because we are gradually numb to happiness, some behaviors can no longer impress us, and lovers can not do more.

2. Beb's Law.

This is an effect similar to the Aronson effect. It means that when we face a certain big one, our feelings about the same type will decrease. For life, it means that after a relative or lover has done something that moves him very much, and then he does such an act, we will not be so moved, which is also the reason why the life of the couple will slowly fade like water.

3. Marginal effect.

The marginal effect is that when we need something, we feel very satisfied when we get it. And when we already have it, we become numb to it. According to the saying in life, it is born in the midst of blessings and does not know blessings.

4. Attribution bias.

Attribution refers to the process of guessing the causes of actions and events. In the attribution process, when the guessed cause does not match the factual reason, it is called attribution bias. Studies have shown that when we attribut, there is obviously self-interested attribution, which is easy to attribute our own things to good reasons and other people's things to bad causes.

So, when we do something bad to our loved ones and friends, we will free ourselves and blame ourselves less. And when relatives and friends do something bad for us, we tend to attribute it to the bad.

Psychosocial factors:

1. Social exchange theory.

The theory of social exchange refers to the behavior in the process of our interpersonal interactions, just like the exchange of goods. Any act we do is in the hope of "exchanging" something for something. These things are not only physical, but can also be spiritual.

And everyone wants to get the most out of what they do. Therefore, when interacting with people, we will demand much more from our loved ones than we ask of ourselves. What we do for our loved ones is a great gift, and what our loved ones do for us is what they should.

2. The cultural influence of the Chinese.

The Chinese idea of "great kindness without thanks" is also the reason for this situation. When interacting with friends, the most common thing a friend or relative can say is: Thank you, thank me, treat me as an outsider.

Under the influence of such a culture, it is easy for us to take the behavior of our loved ones for granted.

Look around, look elsewhere, or change the subject.

It means that the other party is not the best person for you, which means that the other party still has something that you can't accept, which may be the emotional history of the other party, or it may be your living habits.

It shows that it is really inappropriate for two people to be together, and two people do not have many interests and hobbies in life, so they will not get married directly.