I hate some of my parents habits, but when I grow up, I find that I am more and more like my parent

You hate some of your parents' habits, but you become more and more like your parents", that's because it's hard for us to get out of the influence of our original family on our personality and concepts.

It's great that you realize that. Because you have taken the most crucial step – self-awareness.

What should you do?

Constant self-learning and self-awareness to avoid when educating children.

When you want to get angry at your child, be alert to yourself if it's really the child's fault, or does this touch on my bad memory.

If you hate the impatience of your parents, you have to reflect on whether you treat your children from time to time and show such a side but you don't know it?

At the same time, write down the habits of your parents who don't approve of you, and let your husband help you see which faults are also your faults.

You must know that these problems in parents are also given to them by their original family and social environment. Give them understanding. Reconcile with your parents, otherwise it will also affect your parent-child relationship.

Finally, I recommend you to read two books, "Parenting from the Inside Out" and "The Awakening of Parents". It can help you solve this problem better.

I think this is all a phenomenon brought about by the family of origin, and I think it's actually very normal, after all, you are affected by the first time your parents started in a family.

When we were young, our parents were all we relied on, not only because of blood relations, but also because of the strong love given to us by our parents, but as the children grew up, whether it was living habits, or ways of thinking, etc., they began to have differences with their parents, and I don't know when they began to get tired of their parents' nagging, and slowly became ...... with them having nothing to say

Some people say that parents and children are just a practice that is gradually drifting apart, and parents and children are just a relationship, which just means that your fate with him is that you are constantly watching his back in this life and this life, gradually drifting away.

In fact, every child knows that filial piety to parents is the responsibility and obligation to fulfill, that is, to ignore that filial piety should start from the present, starting from small things, even if it is a **, a greeting, parents will feel very gratified, filial piety can not wait, if you miss one period after another in your life, then leave only "the son wants to raise and not treat"!

Therefore, even if there are some conflicts with our parents sometimes, we should not hate our parents, after all, they have worked hard to raise us, how difficult it is to raise us! Children should be more considerate of them!

Anyway, they treat you like this for your good, I hope you must change this kind of thinking, after all, everything they do is for you, and they also hope that you can become a talent, so they will treat you like this, you should understand them, not hate them for being verbose and hating them.

Do you have any other questions? We'll be happy to continue to answer your questions.

The time to answer the question is always short, Kerr has finished answering it for you, I hope you can be satisfied! Dear please give me a thumbs up and wish you a happy life!

Parents should give their children enough time and space to let them experience and feel for themselves, if parents always "demine" their children, they will never know how to bear the consequences. We who have lived for half a lifetime naturally have rich experience in life, and we have summarized a lot of life experience, which is indeed a lot of money. But the road needs to be walked by children, and parents can tell them about their experiences, but they cannot restrict their freedom.

When we were children, we all felt that our parents were tall and omnipotent, but as we grew older, our experience gradually enriched, so in terms of cognition, we will also feel that we are gradually distancing ourselves from our parents. In fact, these are normal phenomena, because family education, especially parent-child education, requires parents to change as children grow up.

Because parents can't keep up with their own eyes.

I already hate my parents.,Naturally, the more I grow up, the more I hate my parents.,This is also the part that I like, and the part that I hate, the part that I hate, completely disappears from the sense of existence.。

There was already a sense of distance that could not be expressed clearly, and slowly it became more and more unable to explain that his parents were getting farther and farther away from his own life.

When you look back, they are still them, and they are more realistic, you have to relate to their reality, they can make you discover the warmest part.

Because you grow up far away from the family world, the company of your parents has become the most impatient sense of direction in the emotional world.

The first is that there is a generation gap between parents and children. When children grow up, they have their own ideas and styles of doing things, but their parents always love to take care of everything. The second is that parents and children have a bad relationship.

Nowadays, there are more and more left-behind children, and their parents work in other places in order to live in the area, and over time, the children are no longer close to their parents, and the parents cannot understand the children and sometimes complain about the children. The third is that parents always use the reason of "for their own good" to ask their children to do things according to their parents' ideas and accept their rules and regulations. It is very annoying for the child.

Because the older you get, the more you will care about the comparison with others, and there is a gap in comparison, and most of this gap is brought about by the influence of childhood family education and the original family, and the influence of parents is too great, which will limit the child's thinking. So it will be disgusted and hated.

Because as the age increases, the child's thinking gradually matures, has its own ideas and opinions, if the parents are particularly nagging, want to control everything the child, the child is very impatient, want to reject and feel very annoying.

Because as we get older, our cognition is gradually improving and maturing, and our parents don't seem to be able to keep up with the times, and they don't have a common topic, so they hate it.

When I was a child, I relied on my parents, and I hated my parents as I grew older, because I had my own thoughts and my own career, and most parents would nag their children, and their children would start to hate them if they didn't want to hear them, and they felt that their parents' thoughts were too old, in fact, our parents were also for our good, we should honor our parents and communicate more.

Maybe it's because our parents don't have the same concept as us, commonly known as the "generation gap". When we were young, we didn't dare to rebel against our parents, but when we grew up, we had a certain amount of resistance.

The older you get, the more you have a sense of independence, you don't want to grow up under the care of your parents, and your parents are getting older and older, because they are centered on you and start talking a lot, all to care about you and not to live up to their kindness.

Because we have independent thoughts, some views may coincide, while others are full of ambiguity.

At some point in growing up, especially when it comes to intimacy and parent-child relationships, we often find ourselves more and more like our parents.

We may even wonder ourselves, why did we live the most hated life?

In fact, it's not our fault that we live like our parents. Of course, it is not necessarily the fault of the parents.

Those of us are just victims of intergenerational transmission. Many times, our parents also live like their parents.

However, this does not mean that those shortcomings and pains must be passed on from generation to generation.

Awakening is half the battle.

When we are aware of intergenerational transmission, when we are aware of the problems with the parenting style, we are halfway to the battle.

First, don't treat your parents as parents.

The meaning of this sentence is that we should not look to our parents as the benchmark for all our actions.

Because if we live in the shadow of our parents all the time, there are only two options – like them or the complete opposite.

The essence of both of them is identity, and both are not escaping the influence of their parents.

We look beyond the relationship between our parents and ourselves, treat our parents as an independent individual, and analyze what is passed on from generation to generation. Then be aware of your own similarities, and then try not to hurt others in the same way, to get rid of identity.

Second, embrace similarities and transcend similarities.

A lot of things we hate are because we don't accept them. The more you don't accept it, the more repressed it is, the more it will explode at some point.

Rather than that, it is better to embrace this similarity.

Instead of thinking, "It's annoying, how did I start looking like my parents?", but think to yourself, "It's funny, I'm getting more and more like my parents."

And then turn this similar power into a transcendent power. Accept that this character already exists objectively in us, and then find a place where we can transcend it.