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The textbooks of the ancients all studied Taoism, how to behave as a human being. And now people don't learn, don't know how to be a person, don't know how to withstand pressure.
Now the school doesn't teach you how to be a person, it's all taught by your parents to be selfish.
Pressure, which is indispensable for people, cannot be shaken off, so everyone has pressure.
I suggest you go and see how Buddhism and Taoism are people, so that you can really withstand any pressure.
Finally, I would like to give you one of my favorite Buddhist quotes.
Broad-minded, able to tolerate things that are intolerable in the world!
Laugh often, laugh at the ridiculous people in the world!
If you like this famous saying, then I am sure you will like the outlook on life in Buddhism and Taoism
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This kind of well, you have to fight for it yourself, anyway, men, it doesn't matter if you are thick-skinned sometimes. Maybe you don't have a lot of contact with her in the first place, but occasionally you can also play ** to adjust the atmosphere between you.
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It's your personality that you can't, and you can't, crack it as follows.
1.Increasing age.
2.Big life setbacks.
3.Reflections brought about by the loss of a family member.
Add me points.
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The mentality of gaining and losing in a relationship is the most undesirable, once this mentality arises, it will have a certain degree of dependence and constraint on the other party, which will lead to problems in your relationship. Let me briefly talk about my personal views and opinions:
The occurrence of the mentality of gaining and losing, in the final analysis, is that you are too idle, so your attention is on the other party, a little wind and grass want to share with the other party, a little emotion is hoped that the other party can observe, such a mentality is incorrect, and it is also a kind of torture for the other party. We should establish a correct view and mentality of love, feelings are just a part of our lives, and we should not invest too much energy in feelings. We should cultivate ourselves more, including workplace skills, life skills and a series of skills that are conducive to improving our own literacy and talents.
Once we devote more time and energy to this and enjoy the process of becoming better, then the mentality of gaining and losing no longer exists. Because we know in our hearts that both of us are becoming good in each other, and the future is also bright.
Once some people fall in love, they will naturally snub the friends around them, and in the end, they will only have their own objects in their own life circle, and if this continues, once the object is a little cold to you, you will inevitably breed the mentality of gaining and losing. So in order to eliminate this mentality, in addition to falling in love, we should also set aside some time for our friends, family and colleagues. In this way, your social circle will not be too single, it will be enriched, and it will not be limited to your own objects, and sometimes we have to know how to give each other some space.
It is not difficult to eliminate the mentality of gaining and losing in the relationship, we must first keep ourselves busy, let ourselves spend more time and energy on improving our literacy and ability, once we become excellent and confident, we will naturally not suffer from gains and losses. Secondly, you should appropriately broaden your social circle, and give your friends, family and colleagues a little more time to enrich your social circle. In this way, there will be no gains and losses.
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1. First of all, you must eliminate your anxiety. In love, just relax your mind, don't worry about gains and losses, everything will be fine.
2. Share your life with your other half, in fact, you are also very happy in the process of sharing your thoughts with others.
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Let yourself have self-confidence can eliminate the feeling of gaining and losing, because you have no self-confidence in yourself, so if you have low self-esteem, you will have no sense of security and a feeling of gaining and losing.
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Ways to overcome the gains and losses in love: Don't think of love as the whole of your life, work and career are the most important things. People who are deeply involved in the whirlpool of feelings always regard love as the most important thing in life, which will lead to the whole body and mind being on the other party, and the other party will feel that the whole sky has fallen if he is a little lazy.
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The first thing you have to do is to adjust your own mentality, I used to be a person who is prone to gains and losses, you don't expect too much from what you are looking forward to, put your mind at ease. When you're stressed, find something you enjoy doing to distract you from thinking about what you're gaining or losing
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First of all, you have to care more about him, think about her all the time, let him feel that you love him, you care about her, and you have her in your heart. You have to report back to him wherever you want to go. In this way, he will not have the mentality of gaining and losing.
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I think the most important thing to get rid of this mentality is not to put all of your personal time and energy into your feelings. You have to always be financially and mentally independent.
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First of all, you have to work hard and treat each other with your heart. Under this premise, you have done your best to the other party, and of course you don't need to worry too much. At this time, you have a clear conscience about your feelings, and even if you fail, there is no pity.
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Both of you should take this relationship well, only if you are serious, this relationship will become more meaningful, and the way to eliminate the gains and losses is to give each other enough security and cherish each other, so that this mentality can be eliminated.
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In this case, you should break up. Because you already have a state of gain and loss in your relationship, you can't satisfy your sense of security at all, so this kind of relationship can't be maintained.
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The reason why I have the psychology of gaining and losing is because of my own distrust. When starting a relationship, you have to believe that you can be together forever for a long time. This negative mindset is pointless if you worry about breaking up all the time.
So, be sure to believe that the relationship between two people can last and enjoy it well.
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The way to get rid of emotional gains and losses, feelings are not one-sided, when you meet someone you like, try to chase it, and give up if you can't catch it. Let yourself be alone, think about how much you like him, if you really like him, chase after him, and don't leave regrets for yourself.
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That is to maintain a calm mindset, to believe that there will be better waiting ahead, and at the same time not to rely too much on feelings, to have a certain degree of independence.
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I think this mentality, but I don't give one to the other party. Full trust and a sense of security back from the back, I think you just give the other party a trust to give it.
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In order to eliminate the mentality of gain and loss in the relationship, it is necessary to believe in the other half. Only by believing in him thoroughly can we not have the mentality of gaining and losing.
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Suffering from gains and losses in the relationship, it is mainly a manifestation of insecurity, to believe in each other, the only love in the heart is yourself, and you must also have confidence in yourself.
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If you want to eliminate this kind of gain and loss mentality in your relationship, you need to understand what you want. Don't let yourself ask too much of each other, try to be yourself, and find a sense of balance in the ordinary.
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In a relationship, only if you have full trust in the other person and let the other person feel your love for him, then he will feel secure. You also have to believe that he will be with you forever, so that you don't have a mentality of gaining and losing.
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If you want to eliminate the mentality of gain and loss in your relationship, then you must have absolute trust.
Only if you especially believe in the other person, then you will not have this feeling of gain and loss.
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To solve this kind of problem, we must first understand that we are prone to the emotions of gain and loss in love, and we must find the source to prescribe the right medicine and find the corresponding solution.
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I think that if you want to get rid of the mentality of gaining and losing, you can ask the other person to give you enough security, and let the other person tell you every day that I love you.
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First of all, you should be confident, then read more books, improve yourself, make more friends, have your own life circle, and can't regard love as the only one.
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In the relationship, there is always no hope for the future, and there is no hope for the future, and there is no future to see, in fact, this is a denial of one's own ability, as long as we work hard, everything will be fine.
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It is better for you to enhance your self-confidence, so that you can better eliminate the mentality of gain and loss in the relationship, and it will also make the life of the two of you more tender and sweet.
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In this relationship, if you want to eliminate the mentality of gaining and losing, you have to improve yourself, make yourself more confident, and have confidence, I feel that no matter what your partner does to you, you will not be afraid.
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In order to change the character of suffering from gains and losses, first of all, we need to make our mentality better, learn to be more open-minded and tolerant, and learn to tolerate the imperfections around us, on the other hand, we must learn to look at problems comprehensively and systematically, and learn to grasp the general direction of things, so that we will not encounter problems when we suffer from gains and losses, looking forward and backward, in addition, there is an important reason for the character of suffering from gains and losses, that is, we lack decision-making, which also requires too much training and honing in our daily life.
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In life, the character of a good student is like that, there are many worries, gains and losses, so how to change such a character, that is, to make yourself generous, informal, this kind of character can be integrated with everyone, in order to do all kinds of things, the hope of success is also great. So how do you change such a personality? It is that we should communicate with everyone more and participate in more positive activities with everyone.
In this way, over time, your mood will be very cheerful, and you will see the problem far away, and you will not give some unsatisfactory details.
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Get rid of selfishness, don't always think about how this thing is for you, and think more about how much you can do for others, and you won't suffer from gains and losses.
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Almost everyone hesitates to gain or lose. It's just that everyone's focus is different.
There is no such thing as an absolutely excellent person, nor is there a person with absolute inferiority.
Everyone has their own excellence, just look at where they find themselves, what to compare and feel that others are excellent, which shows their excellence.
So there is nothing inferior that is not inferior!
People should have confidence, the so-called confidence, self-confidence is a kind of feeling good from the heart, even if it is not good, just try to do a good job.
As a hesitant to suffer from gains and losses, it is not necessarily a manifestation of inferiority, but it is just that you can't make up your mind about your future and your own heart, and everyone will have this situation for a while.
There is only one time in life, everyone is crossing the river by feeling the stones, no one leads the way for themselves, you have to think about it yourself, you have to think about it early, you have confidence in the past, you have self-confidence, just don't give up in a word.
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First of all, you have to think about whether the job is suitable for you, whether it has a future, what you can learn or how much money you can make here, and if you feel that you are just messing around, then you must start to change. It is recommended that you take a month's leave to go back to the sixth level first, and also adjust the mentality of work. It's really hard to manage a small boss, and you have to understand that.
Of course, the best management method is humanized management, and leaders should also take the lead.
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How to change the psychology of gain and loss in the relationship.
Don't think about it, it's because you're not confident that you're trying to figure out how to make yourself better. At least you are not very secure about your love, always think that he will leave you if you are fine, you don't trust him very much, you are not optimistic about your love road, although you really want the two of you to stay together, I suggest that you should talk to him about your thoughts in a timely manner, don't keep yourself stuffy in your heart, let alone vent by losing your temper, this is very hurtful, because I used to be the same as you, I found myself angry, I was half angry, but I didn't tell the other party why I was angry, Mine he took the initiative to communicate with me, now I finally have something to say, the relationship between the two people is slowly getting better, try to communicate, otherwise talk to your good friend first, bless you.
It's a normal love psychology Every girl is like this, unless you don't love him anymore. But you can't rely too much on your boyfriend, and if he suddenly treats you badly, don't stalk him, or you'll get hurt.
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Reshape his outlook on life, values.