What types of families have a hard time raising good children? Do you know why?

Single-parent families, families where parents often quarrel, and families with tiger moms and cat dads are difficult to raise excellent children, because unhealthy families will have a certain impact on children's physiology and psychology.

The family conditions are average, or the parents' cultural conditions are not very good. This is a very real problem, after all, raising a child requires a lot of money, and the parents' cultural qualifications also lay the starting point of the child.

Discordant families, often noisy, quarrelsome, pampered families with children, in such a family the child's character is squeamish, flowers in the greenhouse, can not stand frustration, families that are not often around the child, can not make the child feel the love of his parents.

1. The mother is very controlling, and the father is absent from education.

Children in such families, especially boys, are either stifled from their self-consciousness and become a "mom treasure", or they are very self-conscious, very rebellious, and disobedient to discipline.

Because of the absence of the role of a father during his upbringing, he had less objects to imitate and learn.

At the same time, his mother's strong desire for control and excessive attention made him in a dilemma: either obey his mother's control, let his mother's will replace his own thoughts, and live as his mother's shadow. Either go completely with your own will and go your own way.

And no matter which option you choose, it is not the best choice for children.

2. Unhappy marriages in families.

A family with an unhappy marriage may be followed by family quarrels, cold violence, etc., as well as the mother's complaints and the father's indifference.

In such a situation, it is easy for a mother to twist her decision not to divorce into a matter of "for the sake of the child".

Then for decades, I kept complaining to my children: "It's all for you, I won't get divorced!" Look at your dad! Isn't it because of you that I have to endure him? I've done so much for you, if you don't listen to me, are you worthy of me?! ”

It is difficult for children who grow up in such a long-term emotional blackmail to be themselves, and they can only carry the burden for many years.

3. Everything is done and overprotective of the family.

For the child's arranging and overprotection, it seems that it is for the good of the child, but in fact, the parent is telling the child with actions: "You can't!" You can't do that! You don't do it! I'm amazing, I'll do it for you! ”

Over time, children become more and more dependent on their parents, less and less confident, and less and less inclined to new attempts. After all, there are still risks in new attempts, and isn't it better to sit back and wait for your parents to help you do a good job?

So one day when the child grows up, as a parent, you blame the child for not being able to do it and gnawing at the old!

He will ask you, "Why do you blame me for not being able to fly when you cut off my wings?" ”

4. A family that has no assertiveness and does not know how to communicate and discuss.

The typical feature of this kind of family is: no one is convinced by anyone!

When encountering a thing, everyone has their own ideas, they all want others to listen to themselves, they don't know how to communicate and discuss, they gossip, and no one can make a decision or make an idea. Whoever is loud often listens to whomever is loud.

Children who grow up in such a family are also difficult to have their own opinions, and they are often very vacillating and can't make up their minds.

5. Parents are not very good in character and habits.

A child who has watched his father gamble and get drunk and speak disrespectfully to his mother since he was a child, it is difficult to be educated as gentle and polite.

A child who has watched his mother bargain for two green onions for a long time is difficult to be educated!

A child who has watched his parents quarrel and slander each other and dislike each other since he was a child is difficult to be educated with warmth and love.

A child who grew up surrounded by prejudices and negative words from his parents is difficult to be taught to be impartial and objective.

These four kinds of families can't raise excellent children even if they are tired. The first type is a family that often quarrels, without a good family atmosphere, it is impossible for the child to have a sense of security. Some couples obviously can't get by, and they always say something, for the sake of their children, and to protect the family, but they end up together every day, and they quarrel so much.

This kind of family, do you really think you are loving children? You are obviously torturing the child, and secondly, in a family where the wife is not respected, if a little boy often sees his mother and is not respected by his father, then he will also disrespect his mother more and more. Then after I get married, I will disrespect my wife, which will lead to a very bad relationship between the sexes in the future.

If it is a girl and sees that her mother is not respected by her father, the girl will have a fear of men, and even a fear of marriage. Therefore, husband and wife must respect each other in front of their children and elevate each other. Some couples are very stupid and like to slander each other's parents in front of their children.

In a child's heart, if he can't be a role model, the child's values will be distorted or even completely shattered. The third type is a family that always makes the child's wishes come true. Plato once said that the most effective way to destroy a child is to make his wishes come true, and if he wants something in front of his parents, his parents will satisfy him immediately.

Then this child will develop a habit of taking. When he grows up and enters the society, who still makes his wishes come true, at that time is the beginning of his suffering, when the parents do their best to meet the child's requirements, it is the time when the child enters destruction, if you want the child to become a talent in the future, at home, you can't let him live too well, you can't spoil him too much. What the society will do to him in the future, how you should treat him at home, if he makes a mistake at home, you should be punished, you should be scolded, if he goes to the society, he will have a stronger ability to resist frustration.

Fourth, if you don't let your child do housework, if you don't let your child do housework, it will make him develop a habit of being lazy and lazy. Then he will be very lazy in his studies in the future, he will be lazy in work, and he will still be lazy after starting a family, so won't it be completely scrapped? A child remembers that at the age of three to four he can throw out the garbage, water the flowers, and hang up the clothes.

At the age of five or six, he can prepare utensils before meals, put away the dishes and chopsticks after meals, and make his own bed and fold clothes. At the age of seven to eight, he sweeps, mops the floor, does the laundry, cleans up the room, washes the dishes and cooks a simple meal. Do you think I'm particularly ruthless, I'm telling you that's how to love him.

It seems simple to join the labor, in fact, it is to let him develop an independent and diligent sense of responsibility, which is the wealth of the child's life, the child goes further, the adult takes a step back, this is called growth, otherwise it will not hurt him? Do you agree?

As a parent, we must shape the hardship education of our children. This hardship does not mean that the child is intended to endure hardships and stand hard work, but rather that the child has the ability to endure hardships and stand hard work, and choose to dare to face it rather than be weak and avoid difficulties and setbacks.

Hardship education is a compulsory course in life. If you pay, you will be rewarded, and you will be a superior person. Letting children endure hardships and stand hard work is often to lay the cornerstone for children's life path.

Because the family is full of uncertainty, if there is no rich and diverse spiritual essence, how can it resist the baptism of wind and rain? Parents love their children, give my children a free soul opportunity, do not have to be reluctant to let them take risks, to endure hardships and stand hard work, in the process of tempering can know the difficulties until the other side of victory!

The parent-child relationship here not only includes the relationship between the wife and the child, but also includes the relationship between the husband or wife and the father and the mother in the original family. Parents must learn to solve the problems of husband and wife relationship and parent-child relationship, and a family must have a good relationship between husband and wife in order to build a healthy parent-child relationship. Children who grow up with such a harmonious family association will also become sunny and self-confident.

In a family, all happy children are all similar, the family is the mother's world, the father's empire, and the children's amusement park, which is what a happy family should look like.

Many parents will think that "percussive education" can make children have a higher psychological state of tolerance, but if you are a child, parents are not willing to accept this method of teaching at all. Cracking down hard is cracking down, and there is no such thing as "striking education" at all, and wearing the cloak of "cultural education" is just a reasonable reason for one's own rudeness.

Parents must understand that there is so much kinetic energy in the child's heart, and when a happy child explores the universe and develops himself freely, the scumbag child who is blamed by his parents too much is likely to be sitting alone somewhere licking his wounds. Therefore, if parents expect their children to become better, then first make it clear that a good teaching method must be acceptable to people like a spring breeze, a treasure, and a heart.

Family atmosphere is good, parents are knowledgeable talents, know how to tolerate children, often encourage children, let children do things that interest me, etc., I am the first type, parents' words and deeds can affect the children, and the loving and noisy family makes the child's personality more noisy and sound.

1. A family that knows how to respect.

Healthy children, in addition to love, should also have respect. This kind of respect is not doting on him to do whatever he wants, nor is it that Sui Tang coldly said that he can't do it.

Let children grow up in choices and learn to bear the consequences, instead of planning their lives for them and forcing them to execute.

Parents should not only respect their children, but also respect others, children grow up in such an environment, not only learn self-esteem, but also learn to respect others.

2. Family Hu Que Bi who knows how to manage emotions.

If parents know how to control their emotions and let their children grow up in a positive environment, then this child is likely to be a person who can manage emotions.

When a child is faced with a problem, he thinks rationally and is not swayed by emotions.

Believe that if you bring melancholy and pessimism to your children, they will reciprocate with melancholy and pessimism. If you offer joy and joy to your children, they will reciprocate with joy and joy.

Families with these atmospheres can raise good children, first, the family loses a lot of people who are born in poor education and poor sales. Second, every member of the family is positive and uplifting. Third, everyone in the family loves and respects each other.

1. What is the family background?

Family background refers not only to the economic wealth of the original family, but also to the ideology, family customs, family atmosphere, living habits and other aspectsThe marriage of a child is the continuation of the marriage of the parents.

The marital status of parents will be imprinted in the child's life and affect the child's married life. Before getting married, you might as well go to the other party's house, see the life of his parents, and carefully feel the temperature of the other party's family.

1. The living atmosphere of the original family will affect the marriage.

In the original family, what is the family atmosphere, what is the attitude of the parents to get along, and whether the parents' perception of false feelings is good or not, will affect the child's concept of marriage and will be brought to the marriage of the newborn family.

In the original family, parents are affectionateThe husband and wife have a harmonious relationship, never worry about who does the housework, and the parents are meticulous and silently pay for the family, always conveying happiness and joy. Children who grow up in such a family will have a very good personality, and they will have a good feeling and yearning for marriage.

In the original family, the parents have weak feelingsMany times there is nothing to say, and you can only rely on communicating or maintaining the family through children, in such a growth environment, how much enthusiasm will the children have in their future married life?

In the family of origin, the mother is very strongNo matter how big or small things are, you have to listen to yourself, and Dad is weaker. Since the child will form a sense of identity with the same-sex parent, slowly, the daughter will identify with the mother and be as strong as the mother; The son is slowly like his father, cowardly and inferior, lacking responsibility.

In the original family, parents divorced prematurelyLiberated from an unhappy marriage, but it is an eternal harm to the child, in such a growing environment, how can the child who has been insecure manage his future marriage?

1. "Fault-finding" type.

Some people are more serious and meticulous, very strict with themselves and for work, so after having children, this kind of parents will also use this kind of life concept on their own children, for example, when the child learns to speak, his pronunciation will be a little non-standardized, this kind of parents can not tolerate it, and must repeatedly correct the child.

Parents seem to be doing this to be good for their children, but in fact it will eliminate their children's enthusiasm for learning languages, and children who are often questioned by parents are generally very inferior, and their temperament will be very twisted when they grow up.

2. Cultural education for the poor.

Many parents feel that their children have to endure more hardships when they are children, and they can withstand the pressure in life when they grow up, so they will raise their children poorly, so that they understand that every money needs to be spent on the blade, and even some parents have never taken their children to travel for many years. It is not wrong for parents to want their children to learn to bear hardships and stand hard work, but if they do not grasp the degree, they may be extremely opposed, this kind of child will grow up, and will have very big expectations for money, and his vision is very shallow, and he attaches more importance to material conditions, and his sense of satisfaction is not high.

Therefore, parents why not take advantage of the child is still young, prepare him to come out to see the outside world, broaden its knowledge, and it is very worthy of special attention of parents is that when taking the child out, it is best to prepare a child safety seat for him in advance in the car to prevent the baby from having an accident in the car.

3. Joy to expose children's shortcomings.

Parents know their children best, so they know their children's shortcomings, if parents often say that their children's shortcomings or problems, it must be the most heart-wrenching for children, parents often expose its shortcomings in front of him, which will make them have no face and will always be in the dark, even if the child grows up, can not let go.

This kind of parents usually can't see the child's strengths, always see his shortcomings, his kind of percussive education, not only will not make the child more excellent, but will make the child more and more inferior.