What is it like to deny yourself?

Denying ourselves is really a very sad experience, maybe we want to excel in our daily life and work, we all want to be the best version of ourselves, but sometimes we have to face some failures and have to deny ourselves.

To give me my own example, I have always been very proud of a person before, and I think that as long as I want to do it, anything is fine, and I fell out of love for a while, and I must know that the biggest blow to people from falling out of love is not losing a lover, but making you lose confidence in yourself. At that time, it had to be a month, I didn't have self-confidence, I used to always have a smile on my face, and I was lifeless all day long. Later, not only my classmates, but also myself felt that I could not continue like this, and I found the root of my lack of self-confidence - I felt that I did not have the ability to love people in relation to others.

Then I carefully analyzed, in fact, the breakup matter, the mistake is definitely not a person's, and after this period I should be more able to love others, let alone deny myself, and then I have come to this point, haha, in fact, denying myself, or not getting along with myself, this is a knowledge, we have to work together.

It's very sad, I feel that the world is not worth it, I have lived for so many years, but I don't have any value, what is the difference with animals?

First: I think I am very bad, and sometimes I have low self-esteem.

Second: I feel bored and can't keep my spirits up.

When I was at a low point, I denied myself in all kinds of ways. Doing so can only make me unable to do anything, and can only make me fall into the abyss. Therefore, the more people are in the trough, the more they must learn to adjust themselves, rather than deny themselves.

I'm also a bit of a self-denial now, how do I do that? Thinking, thinking about the problems I encountered, I don't deny myself for no reason, I just start and spread because of a certain point. Then, take action, find out the problem, and start to work hard to improve yourself in response to the problem.

I experienced it, and I felt that I was doing something wrong, and others didn't understand me, and I was in a mess all day long. It's very simple to get through this stage, go out and walk around more, chat with friends, don't be alone, don't let yourself be idle, find something to do for yourself, sign up for dance classes, yoga classes, taekwondo, ......In short, it is to make the most of the time to improve yourself and strengthen yourself.

is becoming less and less confident, more and more doubting yourself, completely ignoring all your abilities, and finally even feeling that your IQ and EQ are not enough, feeling like a fool walking in the world, being spurned and ridiculed by everyone.

I feel that I have no advantages in being born in this society, and I am not outstanding in all aspects, and I am confused about the future. But as long as you go through this period, you can survive the most difficult stage of your life. It will be fine in the future, I will always be the best, I hope you can encourage each other in the days to come!

Cognitive improvement is a gradual process, and it is an ability that will only be manifested after experiencing the ups and downs. When we experience success and happiness, we will constantly affirm ourselves, which is also a spiritual self-reward, and the brain will automatically give you a certificate of honor; When we experience pain and frustration, we constantly deny ourselves, which is mental self-punishment, and the purpose of the brain is to reinforce the impression that we will not react strongly when the same thing happens again. In the long run, constant self-affirmation can easily make us forgetful, self-righteous, and arrogant, and constant self-denial can also lead us to low self-esteem, doubt, and fear.

Whatever the result, it's not really you, and you have to believe it's not you.

Therefore, if we are guaranteed not to overdo self-affirmation and denial, it is something that we should value and balance in our hearts. The old saying is that you don't like things and don't feel sorry for yourself, which is very reasonable. How to maintain inner peace and indifference when you experience good times and bad times is an important topic in our life practice.

Not being controlled by emotions is a sign of maturity in the true sense of the word. It is said that impulsiveness is the devil, but not only when you are angry, but also when you are overly happy. Therefore, the pursuit of happiness is the background color of our emotions and state, but it should not be the result of persistent obsession.

At first, you can try to solve it by constantly affirming yourself, but because you can't get out of the predicament, you gradually give up, and you begin to believe in the theory of fate, deny your own subjective initiative, obsessed with metaphysical idealism and can't extricate yourself, and think that you can get shelter and help, and everything can be achieved in prayer. You may get a moment of inner peace, but you lose the spiritual motivation to change the status quo. This is an extreme phenomenon of shifting from self-affirmation to self-denial, but this is the case in life.

Self-righteousness is due to lack of awareness and refusal to accept new ideas, while self-doubt is caused by too many blows and an unwillingness to believe what else you can do to change the status quo. In either case, we must strive to abandon patience, learn to criticize and self-criticize, and strike a balance between affirmation and negation.

1. Think coherence.

Recently, I have taken a course on psychology, and I feel much more relaxed from the inside out. It's as if you've been carrying a weight all along. And in Lingfeng yesterday, I listened to "Ability Trap", and the ability trap is about a person who must make changes from the outside to the inside in order to become an excellent leader.

The previous one talks about going from the inside out, and the back meets the need to go from the outside to the inside. Tsai listened carefully a few times and sorted out his thoughts. There is no contradiction between the two, and they are even in the same vein.

Listen to me, psychology focuses on starting from the self, opening oneself, and finally obtaining oneself in relationships. And the "Ability Trap" talks about cultivating leadership from the outside in, which is actually talking about cultivating leadership from relationships. This is consistent with the fact that the mind ruler talks about the formation of the self from the relationship.

It can be said that one is to start from oneself and the other is to start from the relationship. It's just that the starting point is different.

2. From negation to affirmation.

When encountering two opposite or opposite statements, you will pay close attention. But in fact, there are many concepts that I have heard many times in life that I don't understand. At least now, I don't think I understood it when I heard it.

For example, management by objectives. When I used to listen to it, I thought it wasn't easy, make a list, and complete it one by one. I think it's a no-brainer. This possibility is applicable when there is a single goal (exam) in school. There is no such thing as simple addition and subtraction in life.

Many times it is difficult to get the right understanding of something all at once. Before I saw a mind map in a learning group that I wanted to teach for a fee. At that time, I was able to make a mind map every time I finished learning, and it felt easy.

I think it's a leek cut. There is a misunderstanding in this, what you think is simple must be simple and easy. It's easy to draw the wrong conclusion about comparing your own strengths to others.