Where are the good humorous jokes, short ones

There is now a book on the market that collects the rumors in the "Aphorisms" column, which is very funny, and I suggest you read it.

The shorter, funnier jokes are as follows:

1. Send you a watermelon, when you are in a bad mood, you can cut it with a knife, cut it, and at the same time you can vent and shout loudly: I kill the melon, I kill the melon, I kill the melon.

2. When I met a person at the station who asked for food, he held a piece of paper in his hand and wrote: I am a deaf and mute person, please give me a little charity. I suspected that he was **, so I said: I'm sorry, I don't know words.

Then he spoke: "Brother, my wallet has been ripped off and I have no money to buy a ticket home, you can lend me some money." I was surprised: aren't you deaf and dumb? He was also surprised: Don't you know how to read?

3. When someone was a child, he just learned to ride a bicycle, and he didn't know how to run on the street, and when he saw an old man walking in front of him, he felt like he was going to hit it, so he yelled, don't move, don't move. The old man stood there for a moment and didn't move, but he turned around and bumped into it. The old man stood up and said, "You aim."

4. Just now when I was walking on the road, I picked up a strange **, a woman, and said, "Hello! Congratulations on winning the second prize of 300,000 yuan in our company!

Before I could speak, she laughed and said, "I'm sorry, I lied for the first time, I couldn't help it" and then she hung up, leaving me standing in the wind messy.

5. A girl was punished for running laps in the playground because she was late for class, but it rained, and the girl had to run in the rain. It was a boy running with an umbrella and moving it over the girl's head.

The girl recognized that the boy had been watching her for a long time, and her face turned red instantly, and she whispered embarrassedly, "I'm sorry, I have a boyfriend......The boy lowered his head and pondered for a moment, then said to the girl affectionately, "Do you want it?" This umbrella is ten pieces .......

Send you a watermelon, and when you're in a bad mood, you can sharpen it with a knife. In the meantime, you can vent. Shouted: I kill melons, I kill melons.

There is a dishwashing aunt, she thinks the dishwashing aunt is not good, so she gave herself a bullish name called the porcelain washing queen.

The master who repaired the tires next door was greatly inspired, and he was also willful, and gave himself an international name: Na Po Wheel.

The welder heard about it and was inspired to open a welding shop, named it: Welding Emperor Wu.

On this day, he went to the candy store next door to show off, and the candy store owner pulled him to look at his store name, Tang Taizong, and the welder was silent.

Afterwards, the owner of the cake cutting shop not far away ran out and pointed to the name of his shop: Han Cake Ancestor, the two were silent together for a long time At this time, a dung digger rode a dung truck past the two of them, and three big characters were written on the dung truck to capture the, and the collective was silent.

When Lao Zhang and Lao Wang, two villagers, went to the village committee to do business, they saw a banner hanging on the wall, on which was written a famous saying: "A person's life is either burning or rotting." Lao Zhang didn't understand what he meant, so he asked Lao Wang: "What does this mean?" ”

Lao Wang explained: "Burning is cremation, and decay is burial." ”

Just five words: I believe in love!

You can search for it.

Xiao Ming said to his father: Dad, my classmates said I was a stupid child. Dad smiled and said, "Silly boy, why are you a stupid child?"

Think whatever you want, haha.

01.A brother went to the toilet, but accidentally entered the women's toilet, and after entering, he found that there was no urinal, which felt wrong, but fortunately there was no one in the toilet. He walked out as if nothing had happened.

When he was opening the door, he met a mm coming in, and the mm took a look at him, his face was red, his head was lowered, and he turned around and went to the men's toilet.

A woman was walking at night, and suddenly saw a man walking towards her with open arms, making a hug gesture, and stepping forward with a kick. The man fell to the ground and cried, saying, "It's the third piece, who am I provoking and who is messing with someone, is it so difficult to bring a piece of glass home?" ”

A novice went to collect loan sharks, he took out the IOU and said with a smile:"It is clearly written in black and white that you owe me 1 million! Do you want to pay the bills?

If you can't pay tomorrow, your house will be like it. "He took out his lighter and burned the IOU ......

There was an old farmer hoeing in the field, a crow flew by, pulled and fell on the old farmer's face, the old farmer raised his head and scolded: "Mom! I don't know how to wear a pair of pants when I go out! The crow said, "* and wear pants!" ”

One day, my son said to his father, "Dad, I'm so cold." And his father said unto him, "Go and stand in the corner." The son went to stand there and asked his father why, and he said, "Because it's 90 degrees there." Hehe.

1: Look at your drag, I can't wait to fart and jump him to Italy. 2：

No matter how strong a man is, he is born of a woman. 3: In today's society, as long as there is a relationship, it doesn't matter what happens.

4: You can hit me, just don't mess up my hair.

Say to your friends with a very serious expression: I'll tell you a joke, a plane crashed into the toilet!

See how they react.

Ultraman raised his hand in class, and then the teacher died.

The eldest sister came to the same school, and there was a little brother in her house who was very cute, and the big sister went to report to the younger brother, and he asked the younger brother, is the sister beautiful? The younger brother said that it was beautiful, and the sister asked the younger brother if it was beautiful or I was beautiful, and the younger brother was silent and took out his own little brother to look at his sister and look at his younger brother, speechless 、、、

Zoo gorillas picking their eyelids with their fingers is meant to be a fool.