My parents divorced after three years of cold war, how should I adjust myself?

First of all, I have deep sympathy for your plight, and by the way, I am not saying these words here to stand and speak without backache, but to empathize with the heartfelt words.

Yes, my parents had been in a cold war, and it didn't get to the point of divorce, but the atmosphere that could explode at any moment — like a hidden one, but you know it was a ticking time bomb — made me tremble for a long time.

Since something like this has happened, since it is irreversible, I feel that it is indeed the right choice to quickly adjust yourself.

First, you have to understand that even though your mom and dad are divorced, they are still your mom and dad.

There is no parent who does not love their child, even after divorce. But any parents who have a little affection for their children, even if they remarry and start a new family in the future, they will not forget you. So, rest assured, you haven't lost your parents, it's just that they won't live together in the future, that's all.

I'm sure you'd feel a lot better if you realized that, wouldn't you?

Second, if you still feel that there is a knot in your heart after understanding this, but it is like a chasm that cannot be healed, you can also adopt self-soothing methods first.

Comforting yourself, or deceiving yourself, Mom and Dad just have a person who is about to go away and can't come back in a few months. Therefore, you should be well-behaved, live well with the rest of your relatives, and wait for the return of another person.

However, what you have to remember is that if you succeed in deception, remember not to get caught up in it. When receiving a serious blow, the human spirit will be very fragile, and at this time, the slightest fluctuation in emotions will be like butterfly wings, in a place you don't expect, causing a desperate storm.

Don't think these words are alarmist, otherwise do you think that those neurotic people in mental hospitals are all congenital? If you deceive yourself for a long time, especially if you fall into the ** you designed for yourself for a long time, once something goes wrong, you may be trapped in the small dark world on the inner side, and you will never have a chance to come out.

If neither of these methods work, then I can only sigh that only time can erase the wounds in your heart.

In a person's life, they will more or less experience some terrible things that are unacceptable and even want to kill themselves. However, as time goes by, as my memory slowly fades away, I felt that I couldn't get over the hurdle at that time, and I may look at it many years later, just like a passing cloud, and the past will pass, leaving some indelible traces at most.

At this time, sadness is no longer helpful, and I hope you can live every day in the future.

First of all, you have to understand that this may not be a bad thing. A friend of mine had a problem in his family two days ago, and his father abused his mother, and it seemed that the beating was quite serious. And this friend of mine has been persuading her mother to divorce as soon as possible.

Because his mother's personality is relatively forbearing, if he encounters any problems in his married life, he feels that forbearance will pass. But his father has intensified because of his mother's character, and the domestic violence has become more and more serious every time. And my friend is not happy in such a deformed family environment.

There are many such families in life, and the relationship between the husband and wife is not good, and they have even been separated for many years. But for various reasons, face or other reasons, it is necessary to make a husband and wife appear to be harmonious in public. In this way, you may be able to deceive outsiders, but you can't deceive your own children.

If a child grows up in a deformed family environment, the damage to the child is sometimes greater than that of a child growing up in a single-parent family environment. <>

Secondly, be more open to the feelings of your parents. Parents have their own way of life. The divorce of parents is indeed difficult for children to accept for a while, but the parents are adults, and now they divorced after three years of cold war, which shows that they really can't live together, and they decided to divorce after careful consideration.

Who says divorce? This decision is probably the best option for both of them. Probably in the future, they will live happier than they are now.

Finally, focus on yourself and understand that your future is in your own hands. You can't give up on yourself because your parents are divorced. I also had a few classmates like this, and if the divorce felt that it was a big blow, they gave up on themselves and became a problem girl (boy).

I think it's irresponsible to them, and at the same time, they want to make sense of existence. They want to warn their parents about how much their decision to divorce hurts them through their own depravity. This may have a temporary effect and make parents feel guilty.

But many parents will not get back together because of this, and they should divorce or divorce. So in the end, it's yourself who hurts. Therefore, don't give up on yourself easily because you are angry with your parents or other reasons.

You must understand that your destiny is in your own hands, and even if you are sorry for others, you can't be sorry for yourself.

You have to respect the choice of your parents, their divorce can be regarded as giving each other freedom, and it is better to break up happily in a painful marriage. You must be strong, learn to face life alone, you must be happy, life must go on, as long as your parents are happy.

Parents divorced after the Cold War, indicating that it has reached the point of no return, the first thing you should do is to calm your mentality, the divorce of parents will indeed have an impact on yourself, we can only reduce this impact to the minimum, so that parents can rest assured, secondly, parents divorce does not mean that they do not love you, on the contrary, they will continue to love you even more, but from one home to two homes, all we can do is live a good life and live every day.

You should let yourself know that your parents are not happy together, that it is good for both people to be separated, and that you should respect your parents' choices.

If it were me, I would choose to leave for a while and go out for a walk! Time will dilute everything!

In fact, the divorce of parents has the greatest impact on children, not to mention, parents have a long cold war, in fact, they never know how miserable their children are.

If you want to say how you adjust your mentality, it can only let you see a little, because instead of them being unhappy with each other, it is better to choose to let go, because a red book is bluntly involved together will not be happy, as a child, you should actually understand. My mother told me that only when I really get the divorce certificate can I be truly liberated, although I can't understand it, but I still bless my parents in my heart, because I am not happy together, so I don't get entangled, sometimes the long pain is better than the short pain, and the knife is quick to cut the mess. Just ask you if you love your parents?

If you love, please respect their choice, and remember that in any case, in fact, your dad is still your dad and your mom is still your mom, although they no longer live together, but the essence remains the same.

In fact, divorce is better than that cold war, when the cold war, the parents were unhappy, and of course we were not happy. Three people or four people are unhappy, it is better to only have two people or one person to be unhappy, there must be happy people, so as long as they are happy, children should be patient, because we will leave them one day, we can't always be with them, they have to liberate each other.

So you should be happy, and as long as they are happy, you may be happy. Alone is not as good as all, crying is just the opposite, the fewer people in pain, the better, you have to believe that time is a good medicine, no matter how deep the wound in your heart is, as long as time is still there, you can slowly heal, and it is okay to reduce the pain. So I can only comfort you, because I am not much better than you, because I know that I can't change.

So I chose to accept, what about you? Are you still so entangled? Relax, you have your way to go, and we must respect the choices of our parents.

In fact, you should think that your parents divorced after many years of cold war, which is a relief for both of them, and it can be regarded as a relief for you.

There is no affection between them, even if they are together, they will not be happy, this family can not be considered complete, after all, you don't want to say that you come home from school, when your parents were in a good relationship in the past, your mother made a big table of dishes, and then your family of three sat at the dining table, talking and laughing to eat, that is what a real family should look like.

You just have to think that they are your parents, your relatives, you have their blood in your body, and even if they are divorced, they are still your father and mother. Besides, there are many single-parent families in modern society, you don't have to feel inferior, let alone resent your parents, and they divorced after many years of cold war, it was all for you, if there was no you, wouldn't they just want to divorce and divorce if they want to separate.

Just want to reduce some of the harm to you, that's why they decided to divorce now, and you should also be more considerate of your parents, they are a burden to each other to be together like this.

On the bright side, it may be separated, both parties will calm down for a while, they may think of each other's goodness, and then they will release their previous suspicions, which is not impossible. Therefore, as children, we should think more about them now that we have grown up.

In the face of the divorce of parents, as a child, it will be very uncomfortable, because once the parents separate the family, it will be broken, and they will no longer be able to have a complete family like other children, and even worry about whether their parents will not love themselves because of the divorce, and all kinds of terrible consequences will make the child fall into deep pain.

For young children, perhaps the divorce of their parents will cause serious physical and mental damage to them, and they will not understand the irreconcilable conflicts between husband and wife at a young age, only that if their parents are separated, they will have to give up one of them and start another life. His parents may find him a new mom and dad and bring him into a new family, and let him call his uncles and aunts he doesn't know as his parents, which is undoubtedly very scary.

But as parents, they are not only your parents but also themselves, they may have endured for many years for you, they can be cold war for so many years before finally divorced, presumably there must be really irreconcilable contradictions, the reason why they can persist for so many years under what a big contradiction is to completely separate, is to wait for you to grow up a little more, so as to minimize the damage to you.

So, since we can't redeem the feelings between our parents, it is better to bravely accept this fact and sincerely bless them. If you are still very uncomfortable for the time being, then you can think that although your parents are divorced, they are still your parents, and they will still give you their deepest love, and you are missing nothing.

And your fulfillment can give them all a new lease of life and start a life they want to live. So they can live happier and healthier lives, so can you still be so selfish as to tie them together?

So at this time, you as a child should also be more considerate of them, they have paid a lot for you, and they have given up a lot, although the parents can't give you complete love and a complete family to a certain extent after the divorce, but I believe that you don't want to see your parents obviously have no feelings, but still have to live together, and I think that must be a kind of torture, so since the two of them have no feelings, then they should let each other go to pursue their own happiness, Because there is still so much time left in the rest of their lives, don't let them regret it until they are old.

At the same time, after the divorce of your parents, you should adjust your mentality, let yourself become a little broad-minded, empathize with them, think about what you would do if you were them, I think if you encounter this situation in the future, you will definitely hope that your children will support you, because the pursuit of happiness is everyone's right, and although the two of them are divorced, I believe that in their hearts the love for you will not be less than before, So at this time you should not think too much and accept it calmly, because as long as they are happy, it will be fine.

The choice of parents should be respected, after all, a marriage without love is not happy.

In fact, it is better to leave an unhappy marriage.

Would you rather see your mom wash her face with tears every day, your dad doesn't come home, everyone is angry and rushed, and they want to pick up the guy and fight it, or do you go your own way and be happy? I have a classmate who is, I can't see that her parents have been divorced at all, her personality has not brought me a single-parent family at all, I feel very unhappy, but bravely pursue my own happiness, she also said, if she and the other half are not suitable in the future, she will consider divorce, so it is good for everyone. This girl has a super good personality, although she is not very beautiful, but she is loved by everyone, lively and cheerful.

Although her parents are divorced, they have established their own families after marriage, everyone is doing well, and she can often go to her mother's house or her father's house for a few days. Later, her mother and the man gave birth to a younger brother, and my classmate was also super happy and spoiled him as his own brother.

Of course, after the divorce, one of the parents is unhappy, and there are also children who are unhappy, but let's think in a good direction, after all, they will deal with the affairs of adults themselves, although they will regret it in the future, it is also their business, we just need to do our best to follow their opinions, there is no need to think about it.