How to deal with a man who loves to turn over old accounts Hello?

The original meaning of turning over the old accounts refers to the people who do business for a fixed period of time for the account books.

The accounts recorded in the are compared to see if there is any discrepancy with the actual situation.

By extension. It refers to someone who is obsessed with the past of others, and recounts what others have done, made mistakes, received commendations, experienced sufferings, etc., to remind or admonish others. It may also be to tell a third party about the past of others to achieve the purpose of informing.

Plain meaning. When a couple, husband and wife or friend quarrel and tell each other about the things they have argued about in the past or what they have paid in the past, it is called turning over old accounts.

How to deal with a man who loves to turn over old accounts Hello?

If you want to go long-term, you must work together, be able to communicate in a timely manner, solve emotional problems, in order to go long-term, when you don't like your boyfriend to turn over old accounts, you can also put forward opinions, two people work together to create a better love. If your boyfriend isn't in an unreasonable state when he's turning over old accounts, it's still cute, isn't it? At least it shows that he cares about this matter and cares about himself, but when there are too many times, we will always get bored, and then we will inevitably quarrel, in order to avoid quarrels, it is best for two people to make things clear, otherwise two people will always quarrel.

1, three chapters of the law with your boyfriend, no matter what happens, the past is in the past, a write-off, you can't always turn over old accounts, that will affect the relationship between two people.

2. When you want to quarrel with your boyfriend, stop immediately, so that the anger of both people will be calmed down, and the situation of turning over old accounts will be avoided.

3.Once the boyfriend turns over the old accounts, as a girlfriend, be generous, you can comfort the boyfriend, and hope that the two of them will not worry about the past anymore.

4.When the boyfriend is going through the old accounts, the girlfriend can sit aside and ignore it and not speak.

5.When the boyfriend is rummaging through old accounts, the girlfriend can be coquettish, such as kissing the boyfriend, or hugging the boyfriend directly.

6.Turning over old accounts is not conducive to the development of the relationship between two people, and one person must take a step back, for example, when your boyfriend turns over old accounts, you can change the topic.

But there are also some boys, stingy, which makes people incomprehensible, always because of some inexplicable trivial things to turn over the old accounts, and very excited and unreasonable, after the communication can not be solved, at this time, the woman should consider, how their happiness is, if you can bear it, you can naturally continue to walk, but if you can't bear it, it is best to make a clear and decisive decision <>

1. Learn to express your feelings.

For those who settle old scores, your heart must be full of hatred. The most effective way to free yourself from hatred is to tell your feelings directly to the person directly involved. If you say it's impossible to your face, you can write a long letter detailing why you feel angry, how you feel unjust, what is wrong with him, etc.

In doing so, it is not necessarily to reconcile the relationship between the two parties, but to free yourself and find inner peace. Because, only when your heart is at peace, you can better examine your relationship and be able to face the future life better.

2Try to forgive.

Easier said than done. Forgiveness is an essential part of solving problems. This requires you to start with yourself and let go of your anger and vindictiveness towards the other person.

Think carefully about why you are angry and how much pain you are suffering from it. If you want to reconcile with the other person, communicate to him that you want to forgive him, either verbally or with body language (such as a hug, a smile, a good meal for the other person, etc.).

3. Learn to communicate and resolve hatred.

If your spouse holds a grudge against you for something and keeps going through old accounts, let him tell you what you did wrong. You also need to be very honest with the other person about your feelings. If you're living with someone who loves to turn over old accounts, you might as well try this exercise:

Once a month, both parties express their feelings about each other at the same time, and the time is controlled to about 3 minutes. Then, both sides remain angry for about 4 minutes. As soon as the time passes, stop immediately.

In this way, the hatred in your heart will slowly be emptied. In the process, you will quickly learn to understand each other. After that, your communication will become smoother and smoother.

First of all, we must see the essence of our lover, a man likes to turn over old accounts, it can be very cute, it can also be very annoying, if the reason for turning over old accounts has a lot to do with himself, then he should reflect on himself in a timely manner, whether there are any behaviors that are wrong, arouse his dissatisfaction. If you want to go long-term emotionally, you must have two people together.

To deal with a man who loves to turn over old accounts, is to turn over his old accounts and embarrass himself, so that he will not turn over old accounts again.

The things that my husband went through the old accounts were taken out one by one, found a time that was convenient for both parties, discussed and re-dealt with one by one, and then agreed not to mention them again after all these things reached an understanding and consensus.

You're going to be more than he is going to dig through old accounts, and before he says it, you can change it.

To be honest, it's not in this industry, so not being very clear about this won't help you.

For the fact that your boyfriend always likes to turn over old accounts, you can try to communicate with your boyfriend and tell each other's problems at one time, solve them at one time, and avoid problems in the future.

In love, no matter how perfect the other party is, when we quarrel, we often have the problem of turning over old accounts.

Every time you quarrel, you have to carefully recall all kinds of wrong things that the other party has done in the past, so that your views can become more convincing, and the other party can sincerely admit and apologize. In fact, these old accounts are problems that have not been fundamentally solved before.

It's just that at that time, due to the mutual compromise after the two quarreled and fell apart, the surface was calm, but in fact, the knots in the heart were not unraveled, so there was a risk of resurgence all the time.

So, when a new round of quarrels breaks out, a fire will be rekindled on the embers of the previous one, and the anger in the hearts of both parties will be burned even stronger.

Hello! I am Teacher Lan Lan, an emotional teacher, focusing on marriage and family, love, and psychology, I have seen your questions, and I am sorting out the answers for you, please wait a moment!

Hello! Isn't it a special headache to meet such a man?

Ask the question: Yes. In fact, in most cases, women love to turn over old accounts, and men also love to turn over old accounts, and there are actually very few such people.

Is there something about you that keeps him haunted?

Question: Question: We've been living together for almost twenty years, and there are so many things he wants to turn over.

After living for 20 years, you have a certain emotional foundation, love to turn over old accounts, in fact, it is also a person's character, what is your usual communication mode? Will there be frequent quarrels?

Asking questions often quarrels.

It's all about communicating with quarrels.

There shouldn't be any particularly big problems between you, it's just that the way you communicate is problematic.

As soon as you open your mouth, you will accuse, criticize the other party, and you will not put yourself in the other person's shoes, and you will not think in your direction.

Ask what we should do.

Change the way you communicate and get along.

It's hard to ask questions, he's a big drinker every day, and it's hard to talk to him.

A good relationship requires mutual tolerance, mutual understanding, empathy, and willingness to make changes for each other, without criticizing, blaming, or judging.

In fact, men drinking is also a way to vent, many men are unhappy in their hearts, they will use drinking, gambling, and smoking to vent their emotions.

More seriously, some men will start beating people after drinking, and that will be even more terrifying.

How many children do you two have? How old is the child?

If your boyfriend always likes to turn over old accounts when quarreling, you can try to communicate with your boyfriend and tell him that this behavior makes him very uncomfortable, and this can solve the problem at one time, and avoid quarreling over this matter in the future, which will affect the relationship between the two people. No matter how much you like each other when you are in love, you will always think of the mistakes made by the other party in the past when you quarrel, which will also lead to easy turning over old accounts when you quarrel. Because when quarreling, listing the mistakes made by the other party before, this will make you more convincing and allow the other party to admit your mistakes when you quarrel, but in fact, turning over old accounts cannot fundamentally solve the problem of two people quarreling.

Even if the two people reconciled quickly after the quarrel at that time, there is still a gap in their hearts, so there is a big hidden risk. Therefore, it is very easy for a new round of quarrels to break out in this way, and when quarreling, the previous contradictions and mistakes will be taken out again and again as the capital of the quarrel. At this time, not only does it not solve the problem, but it also adds new problems, making the contradiction between the two people deeper.

Some people think that human thinking is the most agile when they quarrel, because at this time, people can always quickly recall the previous things, and then take out all the things that the other party did many years ago and are sorry for themselves. So sometimes a quarrel slowly turns into a debate that reveals each other's shortcomings.

If your boyfriend always likes to turn over old accounts, at this time you should consider whether you want to spend your life with each other, if you have determined that it is this person, then you should have a good conversation with the other party, tell the other party that this behavior will make you feel very uncomfortable, and it will also affect the relationship between the two people, so if you don't want to let there be a greater conflict between the two people, let him stop turning over the old accounts. If he can recognize his mistakes and correct them, then it means that he knows his mistakes and can correct them, and he must be very good to you. In this way, even if they are quarrelling, they will not let the contradictions accumulate deeper and deeper, and finally lead to problems in the relationship between the two people.

Therefore, when quarreling, we should talk about things, and the purpose of quarreling is not to win or lose, but to solve contradictions, so if you always turn over old accounts, there is definitely no way to solve the current contradictions, and it can only make the emotions of two people more irritable. So if your boyfriend always likes to dig over old accounts, you must stop him from doing this, because it's not a good thing. Therefore, when two people are together, there is no need to keep revealing other people's scars by rummaging through the behavior of turning over old accounts.

Men love to turn over old accounts, and as a woman, you still have to use smart methods to deal with your husband, otherwise the marriage between two people will also cause instability. When your husband mentions it, you can also pretend not to know, you can pretend not to see it, I believe that this way the man will always understand what you mean, and he will not continue to quarrel with you over time.

Men love to turn over old accounts, and as a woman, then you should have a good talk with him and tell him that other things have passed, and you don't want to mention it again, and I hope she doesn't mention it again. A moment of turning over old accounts will affect your relationship. If you care, you won't go through old accounts.

But when he's going through old accounts, you don't have to listen to him.

Men love to turn over old accounts, as a woman, if you love him very much, you can only endure it, if you don't love her, you can leave her, because this habit will continue forever, and one day you will not be able to stand it.

A man loves to turn over old accounts, and maybe those old things hurt him. He has remembered it in his heart for a long time, and it is not happy if he doesn't say it, so you can tell him, don't keep turning over old accounts, I know you are not happy in your heart, but turning over old accounts is very hurtful, don't talk about old things in the future.

Hello, men love to turn over old accounts, as a woman should communicate well with men, the past is in the past, as long as our current relationship is good, it is important, we should cherish the present, forget the past, don't always turn over the old accounts, I know if it's wrong, it's good to change yourself now, I hope that the couple's relationship is good now is important.

Men love to turn over old accounts, as a woman is really helpless, the kind of man must be new and narrow, always talk about the past, it will definitely affect the current life.

If the man is blindly like this, the woman can warn her like this, thinking about not going through the old accounts, but pulling them down.

A boy loves to turn over old accounts, as a woman, he should be warned that if you want to live a good life, don't turn over old accounts, look forward, the future is the real life that belongs to you.

If a man loves to dig over old accounts, as a woman, he has a good time to make it clear, what we have to do now is to live a good life, for the past If you keep pursuing it, if you dislike it, then don't pass.

When a man likes to turn over old accounts, if the boy is essentially good, he can go on happily after correcting it. But there are also some boys, who are stingy, which makes people incomprehensible, always going over old accounts because of some inexplicable trivial things, and they are very excited and unreasonable, and they can't be solved after communication, at this time, the woman should consider her own happiness.