What causes avoidant attachment to the avoidance of intimacy?

What is the cause of avoidant attachment and the avoidance of intimacy? I've heard from friends around me that their significant other is avoidant attachment. There is something strange about people with avoidant attachment, they are hot and cold.

They will sweeten you in a moment you didn't expect, and they will slip away when you feel that the relationship needs to go further. It was a terrible feeling, as if the lover didn't care about us at all. But is that really the case?

If they really don't care, why do they feel like they're stumbling into you? Now, let's get to know them.

What causes avoidant attachment? Let me give you an example. I have a roommate named Xiaohong, she has a boyfriend who loves her very much, and she will prepare gifts for Xiaohong no matter what the holiday.

Not to mention Xiaohong's birthday, he began to plan and prepare a month in advance, and the decoration was quite romantic, which made the passing classmates envious. Xiaohong also cares about her boyfriend, and always looks at their photos in a daze when she is in the dormitory. But in the process of getting along with the two people, Xiaohong will always be cramped and uneasy, and she wants to escape when the relationship is about to enter the next step.

The sisters in our dorm were curious, why not go further, where to find such a good boyfriend. After patiently asking, I learned that when Xiaohong was very young, her parents were always quarreling, and they were angry with Xiaohong at every turn, and Xiaohong was very afraid that her life would be like her parents in the future, quarreling day after day, so she was afraid of going further with her boyfriend.

The root of avoidant attachment is mostly not getting enough love in childhood. When they grow up, this feeling of lack of self-confidence is reflected in all aspects of their life, and they are also very sensitive. If it happens that your partner is also avoidant attachment, don't worry.

You just need to give him enough patience and enough love so that he can slowly realize that he is actually worthy of love.

It is caused by the lack of attraction between two people, or it may be caused by the fact that two people have been together for a long time and have no freshness.

Psychological shadow, family living environment when I was a child, I didn't fully feel love when I was young, I lacked a sense of security, I didn't have self-confidence and didn't dare to open my heart.

These people's ability to take responsibility is not enough, they are afraid of the corresponding consequences, and they are afraid of generating too much pressure.

Escape intimacy.

It is a "fearful" attachment type trait, with high avoidance and high anxiety. Expecting intimacy inwardly, but showing hesitation and resistance for fear of being hurt. I want to be dependent and independent. This resistance to dependence is a self-protection mechanism.

Evaluate yourself negatively, fear of rejection, or worry that you can't do without each other, so you avoid establishing intimate relationships with others. After entering into an intimate relationship, I often feel fear of being abandoned. I am uneasy when my lover is not around, and I am a little bored when I love socks and I am around.

In intimate relationships, there is a desire for a sense of control and self-worth.

The pursuit of calm and relaxation.

When there is a conflict with a loved one, they prefer to express their dissatisfaction in indirect ways, such as distancing and cold. They are also prone to being "deserters of love" and want to be the ones who let go first, so as to relieve their inner anxiety and feelings of being controlled. The mentality of both longing and fearing intimacy makes them behave as if they are detached, always struggling between intimacy and estrangement.

As a result, fearful types are most likely to trap themselves in disorder and chaos.

The avoidance personality is probably due to the lack of parental care and the indifference to the child's response at an early age. This is especially true if the parents are single or for some reason, one or both parents cannot be with the child for a long time.

In the case of children, the main manifestation is that they are not sad when they are separated from their mothers, but they feel anxious after spending time alone in an unfamiliar environment. Easy to get along with strangers, easy to adapt to unfamiliar environments, easy to get along with strangers.

Features: Avoid showing your affection.

Nowadays, many young people always like to tell each other straight to the point when they express their like, and express their love directly, they think that it is very easy to say I love you, but avoidant attachment people are different, they always avoid expressing love with their lovers when they get along with their lovers, and they are not willing to make too many specific descriptions about the future to their lovers.

Unless the lover pushes them to an extreme, they will be asked to say some love words. In the relationship, they are not direct in the expression of love, they may express their love through some side expressions, but they will never take the initiative to tell their lovers directly and clearly I love you.

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Hello, avoidance of intimacy is characteristic of this type of attachment: because avoidance of intimacy is a corresponding fearful attachment type trait, it is a kind of high avoidance and high anxiety, because when the heart expects intimacy, but shows hesitation and resistance due to fear of being hurt. I want to be dependent and independent.

This resistance to dependence is a self-protection mechanism.

Avoiding intimacy is a specialty of which attachment type.

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Hello, avoidance of intimacy is a characteristic of this attachment type: the state does not because avoidance of intimacy is a corresponding fearful attachment type trait, it is a high avoidance and high anxiety, because when the heart expects intimacy, but shows hesitation and resistance for fear of being hurt. I want to be dependent and independent.

This resistance to dependence is a self-protection mechanism.

Dear, if you ask this question, you can also tell the teacher about your specific situation, and let the teacher help you judge it better to help you. I hope to help you, I wish you a happy life, and everything goes well.

Avoidant attachment.

For partners, friends, and family members who are avoidant attachments, there is a sense of separation when interacting with them. Advice on how to get along with them is as follows:

1. Don't force them.

Avoidant attachment people typically rejects intimacy, and their behavior is characterized by rejection of intimacy. If they refuse to do intimate behavior, don't force them to do it, leave them some space for themselves, forcing them will only make them more repulsive, and even exclude your approach.

2. Tell the truth.

It may be that after a long time with an avoidant attachment person, you will be able to understand the patterns of their behavior and emotional responses, and it is inevitable that you will have thoughts such as "why is this like this" and "avoiding me again". This is the time to express your needs and communicate with the avoidant attachment person, rather than using past experiences to cope with the current situation.

Intimacy refers to a reluctance to express oneself and to avoid oneself if one finds that others like one's paintings.

Do you like a person very much, once you find out that he also likes you, you are not interested in him, once others are overly enthusiastic about you, you have to escape, personality psychology calls this behavior an avoidant attachment personality, simply put, you are very eager to be loved, but refuse to be loved. Such people are often insecure. He has low self-esteem by nature, so his expectations for the future are all pessimistic.

Answer the dear, for your inquiry, avoidant attachment is also called avoidant attachment, is one of the types of infant attachment, it doesn't matter if the mother is present or left,, in fact, this kind of baby and the mother does not form a particularly close emotional connection, called no attachment baby. These babies are in the minority.

Attachment is the initial social bond between the infant and the primary caregiver (usually the mother) and is an important indicator of the infant's emotional socialization. Ainsworth used the unfamiliar situation research method to divide infants into secure attachment, avoidant attachment and resistance attachment. [2]

Babies with secure attachment see their mothers as a safe base, and the presence of the mother gives the child a sense of security; Rebellious babies are insecure, always wary of their mother's departure, and extremely resistant to their mother's departure. Secure attachment is positive attachment, and avoidant and rebellious attachment are both negative attachments and insecure attachments.

It means that after you have a crush on someone, when he has the same feelings for you, you will hate this emotion and even stop liking him. We often say that "note the orphan" is this kind of personality.

It's those who are not confident in themselves, hiding in the corner every day and secretly paying attention to each other....

Hello, escaping intimacy requires a case-by-case analysis. Maybe it's fear, maybe it's not being prepared, etc. It can't be said that it's just avoidant attachment.

There are many reasons, such as mild depression, autism, simple dislike, etc., which will avoid intimacy and have nothing to do with personality.

No, even if it's a close person, they will run away if they are disgusted by the other party, so they have to keep a little distance in any relationship.

Not necessarily, maybe there will be other reasons, for example, I don't like each other in my heart, and then there is that the other party is too entangled in myself.

Avoidance of intimacy is avoidant attachment, and avoidant attachment is one of the four attachment patterns. Avoidant attachment is usually because the patient does not receive enough attention and love from their parents during infancy and early childhood. Parents' demands for babies are always hot and cold, sometimes satisfied and sometimes ignored, so that the baby can never get a stable sense of security, and later the baby may be indifferent and indifferent to the parents' wandering hunger, this kind of attachment pattern between intimate relationships will continue into adulthood, especially when the patient enters a romantic relationship, they are in love with each other, then the other party may feel how this person is so indifferent, as if there is not much need for emotional grinding, In fact, they have a great desire to be cared for and loved.