What does it feel like to be under the fence?

<> "When I was born, there has always been a patriarchal atmosphere in our hometown, I was sent to my grandmother's house a week after I was born, and my aunt was also pregnant for several months at that time, and my grandmother had to take care of me in my infancy, and I also had to take care of my pregnant aunt, who didn't like me a little from the beginning, but she couldn't say anything, just had a cloudy face all day long. Until my cousin was born, my grandmother's responsibilities became heavier and heavier, and there began to be conflicts between my grandmother and my aunt, and my grandmother simply took care of me and my cousin in order not to let my aunt have any opinions about me. Grandma took care of us every day and night, and gradually we grew up, I was a few months older than my cousin, and there would inevitably be fights between children, I always bullied my cousin, and my aunt would yell at me when she saw it, and my grandmother was afraid that my aunt would be angry, and she followed my aunt to scold me, and the neighbors would always say a few words when they saw it, and the children were not sensible.

Slowly, I began to become timid, and I no longer dared to hit my cousin, because no matter what I did, whether it was right or wrong, I was the one who was scolded. I remember when I was six years old, the family was busy with farming, my grandmother locked me and my cousin at home, let us not go out, let me look at my cousin, my cousin at that time was very naughty, I didn't see it at a glance and ran out of the house, you must know that I was only a six-year-old child at the time, how could I see him, he ran to play for his little friend, I was afraid of being scolded by my aunt, so I ran to the field to call grandma, grandma was scared to put down the tool and ran to find my cousin, my aunt also learned, and ran to find my cousin, I don't know where my cousin ran to play, I looked for a long time to find it, My aunt didn't scold my cousin, but reprimanded me in turn, and even wanted to beat me, I cried at the time, crying very sadly, this feeling of being under the fence is really uncomfortable, my grandmother is doting on me, but she can't defend me in front of my aunt, I can only endure all this alone!

When I was a child, I was fostered in a relative's house for a while, and I felt okay, except that it was quite awkward, and I didn't treat me badly like others said.

I think it's definitely not as comfortable as your own home, but people are also doing your family a favor, and there is no need to smear black people, otherwise it really seems that you are heartless.

When I was in elementary school, I was far away from home because of my studies, and my parents didn't worry about my accommodation, so they let me stay at a relative's house.

I usually feel that it is almost the same as accommodation, and I also eat what my relatives' children eat, and the clothes are basically brought by the family; Usually after school will go back to help a little, such as washing dishes and vegetables or something, otherwise sometimes go back to do homework, my relatives seem to be a little unhappy, in fact, this is normal, for other people's children to send it to my house, eat and drink for nothing and do not help, I will also be unhappy.

Usually when I eat, I am relatively timid, I don't dare to pick up vegetables, and occasionally I will pick up vegetables, so that I don't care about eating, otherwise I will not grow tall. At that time, I didn't understand when I was young, and when people asked me to clip it, I would clamp it, and my relatives would be unhappy if there were too many meat clips.

During the holidays, some festivals are not closed, and they will take me with their son when they go out, but I can only watch his son buy things, which is basically not my share.

These are relatively normal.

I think it's not someone's biological child after all, it's sent to someone else's place, and it's good that people can agree to help, but when I was young, I was not sensible, and I often secretly avoided crying! Now that I'm older, I realize that my relatives are really very good to me. After all, people didn't take any benefits, at most a little food, we should be content if we have a place to sleep and a place to eat.

After all, it is a relative, and it can also let you live, which means that the relationship is still okay. However, you feel that there is a kind of sorrow under the fence, which is actually caused by many factors.

1. Your character.

I think you can have this kind of thought, which shows that you are a delicate and sensitive person in your heart, and you often judge other people's words, deeds and faces, and when others say something serious or wrong, you will feel that others are talking about you and feel that they look down on you. As a result, you will feel unhappy, and you will feel a kind of sorrow under the fence.

2. The length of time.

If you only stay at a relative's house for one, two, or a few days, I don't think there's any problem, after all, the relationship with the relative is quite close. However, if you are going to stay for a few months, even the closest relatives will also complain about your free food and lodging.

Even if others don't say it, you yourself will feel inappropriate and dislike yourself. Therefore, if you live in someone else's house, you should pay attention to the time you live, preferably not more than a week.

3. Unable to fit in.

Seeing them get along so well, I feel like an outsider, unable to integrate into their lives, unable to run around and talk as I want, and may also break other people's living habits and lifestyles. Therefore, as an outsider, I feel that I am under the fence and unhappy.

Don't go to other people's homes when they have a lot of things to do, not only can't take care of you, but also can't integrate into their lives and master the rhythm of life.

Anyway, no matter what the reason, living in a relative's house, most people will be cautious, feel very depressed, and even have friction, and will be unhappy in their hearts. Therefore, it is best not to stay at a relative's house for a long time until the last resort, otherwise it may also affect the relationship and affection between relatives.

The feeling under the fence is: helpless, not free, and unnatural to do anything.

設人篱下, pinyin: jì rén lí xià

Explanation: It generally refers to living in other people's homes and living in dependence on others. Another meaning derived from society now refers to being subordinate to others, living under the jurisdiction or under the authority of others. It is used as a metaphor for the need to rely on other people's lives and not have their own independent life.

Source: Li Yanshou of the Tang Dynasty "Southern History: Zhang Rong Biography": "The husband should delete poems and books and make ceremonial music, why should he follow the fence of the sender?" ”

Usage: verb-object; as a predicate, object, and definite; Derogatory.

Example sentence: I thought that when I was in Shandong Province in the past, although I relied on my brother-in-law's light to be a copywriter, I was always under the fence.

Sometimes I miss my parents, I want to call them a **, I have to wait until my aunt is not at home to call, for fear that she will use too much phone bill. Sometimes even if I quarrel with my cousin, he will move out and say, "You live in our house and use our water and electricity bills."

I know he didn't mean to hurt my pride, but he couldn't find the words to refute me for a while. I lived from the second grade of elementary school to junior high school, and I experienced a lot of unhappiness in the middle. I feel like there, only my grandmother is the best for me.

Although they are their own relatives, when it comes to their own interests, they are also full of grievances and hurtful minions. Anyway, those days are over. I think this kind of experience under the fence should not have a second good, no matter how good it is to you, how close to you, it is always something that does not belong to you, it does not belong to your home, and there is always a little lack in my heart that is difficult to make up.

I don't know if it's because my experience is unpleasant, or if someone else feels this way. In short, I hope that all people can be treated gently by the world.

Next, let's share your experience under the fence!

01.Look at people's faces.

If you live in someone else's home, you will inevitably look at their faces, because after all, it is not your home, and it is difficult for you to do whatever you want like in your own home, and it is difficult for you to enjoy the same treatment as them. This is the same for everyone, if there is a person who stays in your house for a long time and does not leave, you will also have a great prejudice against him, and then target him everywhere, which also verifies the truth of "my territory, I am in charge", everyone is similar, and the face of the person under the fence will inevitably look at people's faces, maybe this is also the so-called reality!

02.Lack of food and clothing, low mood.

After seeing other people's faces, you may enter a state of unease and low mood, at that time you wish to leave immediately and never come back, but the reality forces you to come back here, where you eat other people's food but don't help, here you use other people's things but don't have too much money to invest, feel that this meal is difficult to swallow, because this is not your home, you don't eat your own food, you don't use your own things, you don't get along with your family, At the same time, you will lack the real joy of spending time with your family, and your mood will slowly become low.

03.It's going to be lonely.

Because the feeling of being under the fence may have caused a certain shadow on your psyche, they will not understand your feelings, and you have very few people and things, then you will become very lonely.

Withering in others, feeling inferior, being controlled by others everywhere To put it bluntly, there is no dignity, and you have to look at people's faces everywhere to live, this feeling is much more uncomfortable than being beaten up, and life is forced to have no choice but to work harder, and want to please as soon as possible to enrich yourself to be more confident.

It should be a little sad, helpless, and depressed! After all, you are under the fence, and you will feel unnatural in doing anything, and you have to think about others first, for fear that there is something that will not help you.

Most of the time I don't feel comfortable. Being in such an environment for a long time is inevitably introverted, and even lacks masculinity, with few exceptions. But no matter how much self-restraint and unhappiness you have, it's only temporary.

It's impossible to send someone under the fence for the rest of your life, and you have to fight for it yourself. Maybe by that day, you will live a better life and have a more sound personality. There are pros and cons to everything, and the disadvantage of feeling that you are not perfect can sometimes be your shining point.

In short, the most important thing is to understand that when you are under the fence, you should pay attention to yourself, invest more in yourself, and the more time you spend in this area, the faster you progress, and the closer the moment to end the fence!

The apples on the table can't be eaten, the drinks in the refrigerator can't be drunk, the computer in the bedroom can't be used, and she owes others even a seat in her house to sit down, and she doesn't do anything while playing with her mobile phone, and people are angry when they look at it, as if they don't have the right to breathe air in this house, so they can only help them clean the house, laundry and cook, and you stand stupidly on the side after eating, and you have to accompany the smiling face when people come. You are the first to be suspicious when you lose something, you never say a "no" in front of people, you just feel like you live like a subordinate, you have to live under the fence, you have to learn millions of years of natural selection evolved from it - dogs.

To sum it up:

Nothing works.

Laughing all the time. At the mercy of others.

Pain, irritability, life becomes controlled, unfree, bonded!

It feels like you have to be constrained and don't feel like you belong.

Meaning bai

It refers to living in someone else's home and being dependent on others. Appear.

Another meaning of zhi in society refers to the status of others to be subordinate, to live under the jurisdiction of others or under the authority of others. It is used as a metaphor for the need to rely on other people's lives and not have their own independent life.

Cited explanations. Zhou Erfu "Morning in Shanghai" Part 3 49: "He is always under the fence in the industrial and commercial circles, and he is unwilling. ”

Usage verb-object, as a predicate, object, and definite. Derogatory.

Boarding under the fence refers to living under someone else's house, which is used as a metaphor for living under someone else's house, relying on others to live, and not being able to stand on your own.

It's really not appropriate to describe your uncle.

Under the fence: Under the fence refers to living under someone else's house, which is used as a metaphor for living under someone else's house, relying on others to live, and not being able to stand on his own.

It's a derogatory term, and of course your mom is going to scold you. Generally describe their situation as bad, saying that they are under the fence.

Send: Attached. Attached to someone else's fence. The metaphor is dependent on others.

"Living under the fence" means living in someone else's house and living in a dependent relationship. The original meaning of "under the fence" is to live under the fence of others like a sparrow. Later generations used the metaphor of "sending people under the fence" to write articles because they attacked others, and they could not create their own style; The latter mostly refers to living under the house of others; The metaphor is dependent on others and unable to stand on one's own feet.

From the Southern Dynasty Huliang.

Liang Xiao Zixian's "Southern History: The Biography of Zhang Rong": "Husbands should delete poems and books, make ceremonial music, why should they be stupid and tremble, so why should they follow the fence of sending people?" ”

Use the method of defeat: act as a predicate, object, and definite; Derogatory.

Sentence formation: 1. Miss Lin is unwilling to live that kind of life under the fence.

2. We sent people under the fence, and we had to pitch up to others.

3. Now that I am under the fence, I have to swallow everything.

4. The long-term life under the fence has made Weiwei develop an introverted personality.

I'm pretty much the same, I started to foster in my grandmother's house in the third grade of primary school (it should be my aunt's house, my mother got married, and my aunt's husband is rich) aunt and uncle They go out to work every year, I was particularly insecure when I just moved in, because my mother didn't live here, my parents divorced, and no one took care of me since I was a child, and I often fought with my uncle's and aunt's children when I was a child, and finally my grandfather chased and beat me with a stick, and the more impressive one was because my cousin scolded me for wild seeds and told me to go back to my own house, Huiqiao and then I fought with her, my grandfather heard the sound and pulled us away, regardless of whether he didn't ask and started beating me and Bi again, and then my grandmother persuaded me, and then called my mother, and my mother asked me how to fight, I said she said I was a wild seed, my mother didn't react, and I lived with my mother for a few years. Junior high school and high school occasionally came to see my grandparents. I usually live here during the summer vacation.

Anyway, it's very uncomfortable, their children go up and down the stairs with a particularly loud footsteps, I live on the first floor of the sound every day is noisy and upset, but it's not good to say anything, usually I eat as much as possible in the front shed to eat early or late, just feel embarrassed, now I have a good relationship with my grandfather, but other relatives can't heat up, after all, I have been eating my grandmother's cooking, my aunt and they cook I rarely eat, I used to not be sensible and angry when I didn't even eat. Anyway, the impact is quite big, I don't dare to speak very loudly, I have to take care of everything that this is not my own home, what grievances I have to digest by myself, and my mother has been looked down upon by my aunts in the past two years. Two days ago, I told my mother about the grievances of so many years, and my mother didn't say anything, and the next day she was still happy, maybe it's okay to avoid embarrassment.