When my parents were alive, I was very filial, and when my parents died, was it appropriate not to g

For this question! Let me talk about my personal opinion, when your parents are here, you have fulfilled your obligations and responsibilities as a child! In this regard, I am very happy and happy for you!

For the rest of their parents' lives! You accompany them through their last days! It is very touching and admirable!

You are a filial and loving child!

In addition, you said: When your parents were alive, they did everything they had to do, and they also sent their parents on their last journey! Now because of work!

Running around all the year round, and rarely going back to his hometown to burn paper for his deceased parents, I feel very entangled and contradictory in my heart! I advise you not to overthink or have thoughts! If you don't have time to go back to your parents' graves, you can burn some paper money for them at your place of work and say something you want to say to your parents, and I don't think they will blame you.

This situation is not just one person, there are tens of millions of people in the country, in order to live and survive! I had to leave my hometown to work hard outside my career!

I'm just like you! When my parents were alive, I worked hard for my life! When I send away my parents!

Endure the grief and move on! With a yearning for his hometown and a longing for his parents! Still living and working hard in a foreign land!

Deep down in my heart, I have dreamed of returning to my hometown countless times! Go to the grave of the deceased parents, burn the paper, and tell them the ups and downs in their hearts! But time doesn't leave us with many opportunities, and there will be many unsatisfactory things!

Although deep down I feel pain and helplessness!

We can only burn some paper money for them in the dead of night in a foreign land, and silently pray in our hearts that our parents will be well in heaven! Ten years since my parents died, I haven't been back to his grave once. But I don't regret or feel guilty!

Because when they were alive, I did my duty and responsibility! Finally, I hope you can let go of your mental baggage and anxiety, when your parents are alive, you can be a hundred times stronger than those fake filial sons! Some people just are:

Parents are not filial when they are alive! Dead screaming. There's a good saying:

People are doing it, and the sky is watching.

Personally, I think it's very inappropriate, because I think it's very unfilial, and it's very selfish, and it's very impolite.

I don't think that's appropriate. Because every year we have to sweep the graves of our deceased relatives, so that on the one hand, we can remember, and on the other hand, it is also a manifestation of filial piety.

Square peg. Although it is a matter of etiquette that parents should be graved after they die, filial piety should still be shown well while people are alive, and parents should also be graved after death.

Not suitable, Yu Qing, they were your parents when they were reborn, and they are still your parents after death, Yu Li, sweeping the graves of their deceased relatives is what future generations of children and grandchildren should do. Before your parents died, you were able to be filial to them, which is a very commendable thing, which shows that you are a person who knows how to respect the elderly, but when your parents have passed away, you should also be "filial" to them, although they have passed away, but they are still the ones who gave birth to you, so after they die, you still have to see them.

From a superstitious point of view, although they have passed away, they still care about you, so you have to go but they care about you, let them know that you are doing well. Superstition aside, there is a custom of "worshiping the deceased" in China's traditional culture, such as the Qingming Festival, Chongyang Festival, and Spring Festival, which are festivals such as going to the grave with deceased relatives to burn paperIf you don't burn paper, outsiders will poke you in the back, saying that you are a fake filial son, and you forgot your roots after your parents died, so from this point of view, it is not suitable for you not to go to the grave of your parents.

And if your parents are buried directly on the hillside like we do in the countryside, then you must make sure to go to the grave at least once a yearBecause this time I went to the grave, I not only burned incense and paper, but also took care of the weeds on the grave of my parents and added soil to my parents' graves. But if your parents are buried in the cemetery, it doesn't matter, because usually the cemetery is cleaned, but you have to visit it at least every two or three years or so. Of course, if you really have a hard time and can't go to your parents' grave every year or visit them for two or three years, then I suggest you ask your relatives at home to help you burn paper and add soil to your parents on important festivals every year.

In fact, personally, no matter how far away or how busy I am, I should take the time to go back to the grave of my parents, which is not only a custom and culture, nor is it just filial piety to the deceased, it is actually a kind of inheritance. When our parents are alive, we are filial to them, which is what we should do for our children, and after the death of our parents, we use the way of going to the grave to pay tribute to them, which is not a kind of nostalgia for themTherefore, as children, as long as they are alive, regardless of whether their parents are alive or not, they should be taken to heart, don't let them stay alone in the empty nest for a long time when they are alive, and don't let them grow weeds on their graves after they pass away, which is the real filial piety.

It might feel out of place! Even though you were a filial child, you should still see them more after they die, after all, they will be very lonely in another paradise.

Square peg. It's not difficult to go to the grave once a year, even if you're busy, you can still spare half a day.

It is logically inappropriate. It is a traditional custom in our country to go to the grave of a deceased loved one, and we should continue to pass it on.

If the married daughter returns to her parents' house to go to the grave, it will have a bad impact on the fortune and reputation of her mother's family. A daughter will go back to her parents' house to go to the grave and will hold hands with the good feng shui of her mother's ancestral grave; Second, the daughter goes back to her parents' house to go to the grave, which will make outsiders feel that her mother's family has "no successor", so in general, the daughter's grave has the greatest impact on her mother's family.

It is not good for a daughter to go to the grave.

What are the taboos for daughters to go to the grave?

In the countryside, everyone attaches great importance to the Qingming Festival, every household searches the rock household to go to the grave to worship the ancestors, and some ancestral tombs have to spend ** to rebuild, but the married girl will not go back to her parents' house to go to the grave. It was many years later that I learned why. In fact, it depends on the customs of each place, and some places believe that daughters can also go to the grave, after all, daughters are also one of the descendants; Some places think that it is inappropriate for a daughter to go to the grave, and a woman is not "her own family" in the minds of feudal people, so her daughter cannot go to the grave.

There are several theories about whether a daughter can go to the grave:

1. The daughter is too young to go to the grave.

No matter what the custom is, it is not appropriate for a daughter to go to the grave if she is too young. Generally speaking, if a child is under the age of six, it is not appropriate for him or her to attend the grave ceremony. Because the child is too young and has low yang energy, and the cemetery is a place with very heavy yin energy, it is extremely easy for children to see some unclean things, and it is extremely easy to cause some negative substances to entangle around the child (children with low yang energy are easy to provoke evil things), so that the child is often sick and so on, so the daughter is too young to go to the grave, which needs to be noted.

In addition, the elderly love children very much, and when they take children to worship their ancestors, the ancestors are particularly "loved" for children, and people are easy to cause the ancestors to be reluctant to let the children go, and they are so reluctant to "let go", which is not conducive to children.

It is not good for a daughter to go to the grave.

2. Can an unmarried daughter go to the grave?

In some places, unmarried daughters are allowed to go to the grave, for example, in many Guangdong areas, unmarried daughters can go to the grave to worship their ancestors. It's just that the feudal ideology in some areas is more serious, and they think that whether a daughter marries or not does not affect the essence of her being a "foreign daughter", so even if the daughter is not married, she cannot worship in her ancestral grave.

3. Married daughters are not allowed to go to the grave.

The married daughter Shiyu should not return to her mother's house to go to the grave, she can only worship the ancestral grave of her husband's family at her husband's house, and cannot return to her mother's house to worship the ancestral grave of her mother's family, because in people's traditional concepts, the daughter is already her husband's family when she marries, and her mother's family is only her mother's family no matter how close she is, and her name and household registration have also been inherited to her husband's family, so the married daughter is a member of her husband's family, and she cannot go to her mother's house to worship her ancestors.