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As a parent, I often can't take care of my children because of work. Some parents ruthlessly put their children in their hometown and only go back to see them once during the Chinese New Year. After a few years, I found that the child had grown taller, but he was also alienated from himself.
Especially as a mother, seeing that the child she gave birth to is not close to herself, the feeling in her heart can be imagined.
Many parents who have to let the elderly take care of their babies because they are busy with work have such a question in their hearts: Will the children raised by the elderly be close to their parents in the future?
Children who were brought up by the elderly before the age of three, and then lived with their parents, will have the opportunity to kiss their parents in the future.
According to the psychological theory of "attachment relationship", whoever takes care of the child in the first three years of life will naturally have an intimate attachment relationship with the main guardian, and who will be closest to him. This primary guardian refers to the person who usually takes care of him the most. Women are better at childcare and are more involved in childcare.
Therefore, the child who generally lives in his hometown will be closer to his grandmother than his grandparents.
During this time period, if the parents only come back once in a while, such as once a week, once a month or even longer, the child will naturally be closer to grandma or grandma. But that doesn't mean parents don't have a chance. Because in the first three years, children need more physical care such as eating, drinking, pulling, sprinkling, and sleeping, and after three years, the spiritual needs of children who are affirmed and loved will be stronger.
If the mother who takes the child home to take care of her child when she is about to go to kindergarten, if she is willing to spend more time with her child, listen to her child more, and have high-quality companionship with her child, she will slowly gain the child's "heart".
Some experts have suggested that if parents are busy with work and need to leave their children in their hometowns to be taken care of by the elderly, they should also take the children over before they go to primary school at the latest. This is the last chance for parents to mend their parent-child relationship with their children.
This is because the child's living habits and personality have been initially formed before the age of seven, and it will take a lot of effort to correct them. In reality, many parents pick up their children when they are in elementary school, and they will find that their children still retain the bad habits they have developed in their hometown, such as spitting, no sense of storage and tidying, swearing, etc. These bad habits, which parents are not accustomed to, can lead to conflicts between parents and children, which in turn affect the parent-child relationship.
Therefore, if the child only lives with his parents after entering primary school, parents should not rush to correct the child's bad behavior, but encourage and accompany them more first, and then educate the child after he is willing to be close to you. Children who return to their parents when they are in junior high school will find it difficult to get close to their parents in the future.
Children in junior high school have entered a rebellious period.
If you return to your parents at this time, on the one hand, the child already has her own opinions, and it is difficult to listen to the teachings of her parents; On the other hand, the mother and son are separated by a "chasm" of more than ten years, and the children treat their parents as strangers and lack a sense of trust in their parents. If you don't believe it, you won't accept it, and the parents' preaching is "denial" and "restriction" in the eyes of the child, and the parent-child relationship is difficult to repair.
Therefore, if parents do not want to have a relationship with their child, it is best to take him with him when he is in kindergarten. "Family affection" is slowly formed after countless days and nights of companionship, care and care, and there is never a shortcut.
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No, it won't. You can interact with your child more after work every day, such as reading storybooks, playing games together, asking your child how she is doing today, etc., as long as she cares about her child often, she still likes her parents very much.
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Of course, if you work in the field, you will often open **open to your child, and you will buy some things that children like, in fact, children will still remember their parents' good to themselves, and go home to accompany their children when they are free, after all, children's childhood is only once.
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No, it won't. Because children follow their parents the longest, the relationship between children and parents will not be estranged.
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Yes, this is a very high chance because children may be alienated from their parents by not being with their parents for a long time and not living together.
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There are many left-behind children in our country, because their parents have to go to work outside, they can only hand over their children to the elderly to take care of, although the parents are also helpless, but they are helpless to live. It is certainly inappropriate for parents to go to work and leave their children in the care of the elderly. Children need the love of their parents, but their parents are not around, and the children encounter troublesome things in their lives, and there is no way to confide in their parents, and there is no one to give correct guidance and encouragement to the child's life.
When the parents are not around, the child feels as if he has been abandoned, and he will become inferior and insecure. The love of grandparents cannot replace the love of parents at all, and the attachment of children to their parents cannot be satisfied by grandparents. When taking care of the children, the grandparents will only take care of the children's diet and daily life, as long as the children are well fed and clothed, and will not care about the children's psychology.
When the child was in school, he encountered a problem that he did not understand, and his grandparents could not help him. <>
Some children even take on the housework at an early age, not only to go to school, but also to do housework and take care of the elderly. Grandparents will be very doting on children when taking care of children, buy what children want, be obedient to children, and grandparents will be very generous when children do wrong, and will not blame children, let alone guide children to correct. Over time, children will develop bad habits and do everything without considering the feelings of others.
Grandparents take care of children's academic performance is very average, and children are unable to develop good study habits. When I get home, I first turn on the TV instead of doing my homework, and my grandparents will turn a blind eye when they see it, which will lead to a decline in the child's learning, which will have a great impact on the child's future life. Therefore, parents should try not to let their children become left-behind children, take their children with them as much as possible, and give their children a good education so that they can grow up in a loving family, which is conducive to their children's physical and mental health.
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Suitable. Because parents want to earn money, the baby has no ability to take care of himself, so he can only hand it over to the elderly.
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Square peg. The love of the next generation cannot replace the love given by the parents, and the attachment of children to their parents cannot be satisfied from their grandparents. Due to the long-term absence of parents, the "defects" of the family make children unable to enjoy normal family care, the troubles in life cannot be confided in their parents, and the confusion in growing up cannot be correctly guided and ......encouraged by their parentsIn the long run, the sense of helplessness, loss, and being left behind gradually formed, which seriously affected the growth of children's psychological lectures.
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This approach is not particularly suitable, and it is better for the child's education to come by yourself.
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Nurture feelings. Because not being close is only temporary, you can use the time you go back to your hometown to spend more time with your children and cultivate your feelings.
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In fact, there is no need to be particularly alarmed, and when the child grows up, he will be able to understand the plight of his parents.
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The child should be taken into his own home, and as long as the child has good contact with his parents, he will gradually get close to his parents.
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So in normal times, we can spend more time with the child, buy delicious food for the child, and play with her, so that we can get close.
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Summary. Pro-<>
Kiss, <>
Hello, the child let the elderly take the parents will not be close, this is also possible, if the parents have been away from the child for a long time, the child will have a sense of alienation from the parents, will not be close.
Will the child let the elderly take it and not be close to their parents?
Kiss<> kiss, <>
Hello, the child does Zhenlu let Lao Chun take someone to take the parents will not be close, this is also possible, if the parents have been away from the child for a long time, the child will have a sense of distance from the parents, will not be close.
The child was handed over to the old man at five months, I left at 7 o'clock in the morning during working hours, and arrived home at about 9 o'clock in the evening, with the child too little, the child is now more sticky to the elderly, and don't sleep with me when Zhaotong sleeps<>
<> dear, this is normal. The reason why the child is so wide is because: The child let the elderly take the old man and the parents are not close, which will produce the possibility of such a letter sparrow, because if in the process of the child's growth, if there is a lack of parental companionship, the child will have an unfamiliar feeling for the parents, and will treat the parents as strangers, and there will be a kind of estrangement with the parents, so that the parents will not be close.
Dear, if you ask this question, you can also tell the teacher about your specific situation, and let the teacher help you judge and help you. I hope it can help you, I wish you a happy life and all the best, and I hope you will come to me next time you have questions.
Dear, it's okay, you can spend more time with your child, and your relationship with your child will change back.
Dear, don't worry too much, this will take some time, let the child slowly get used to being with you, and the child will slowly become intimate with you.
Hey, if the child doesn't sleep with me, I'll be angry, and I'll quarrel with the old man, and I'll be annoyed by myself.
Dear, I understand your feelings.
Don't worry, dear.
Dear, you still need to take your time to get closer to your children, don't be impatient first, usually if you are resting at work, spend more time with your children.
Nurture feelings. Dear, don't bother first, the child is a little older and sensible, and it will be better.
The child is now 3 and a half years old.
Dear, it's okay, now that the child is the age, you can spend more time with the child after work.
The child is now looking for grandma wherever he goes, which is more annoying.
Dear, don't worry, understand your feelings. You go with the flow first, let grandma have a spring break with him first, and if you are free, you must also be present, so that you can brush your sense of presence in front of him, and after a long time, he will have you in the consciousness of the draft.
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Many young parents are reluctant to let their old people take their children, because their old people and young people have different living habits, and it is particularly easy to spoil children, let children stay with the elderly for a long time, it is easy to make children and their own out of the different, whether it is in life or dressing style are different, the main difference is that there is a big difference in the learning and training of children, young people in educating children, will help children develop good habits of learning according to education methods, so as to achieve the purpose of letting children learn, but children who have been with the elderly since childhood will pay less attention to learning, because the elderly at home pay more attention to the child's health than the child's academic performance.
When the child lives with the elderly, the elderly will only buy their favorite food for the child because the child does not like to eat a certain food, in the long run, it is easy for the child to be malnourished, if the child lives with his parents, if his parents find that the child has picky eating behavior, they will try their best to let the child get rid of this bad habit, instead of tolerating the child's bad habit, which is also the biggest difference between the old man and the child and the child living with the parents.
But although it is easy for children to live with the elderly will be spoiled by the elderly, which will affect the healthy growth of children, but many families have no time to take care of their children due to their parents' long working hours, and can only rely on the elderly to help themselves take care of their children. These suggestions will definitely be accepted, and children and the elderly will develop good habits every day, unlike living with their parents, who are still playing after 10 o'clock in the evening.
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Children brought out by ordinary old peopleThe child is not the same as the child brought out by the parents. Because the way the elderly educate their children is different from the way parents educate their children, there will be a clear difference between the children brought out by the elderly and the children brought out by their parents.
Many parents choose to have their children cared for by the elderly at home due to work reasons. As their children get older, these parents will find that there are certain differences between their children and other people's children. In this way, you will understand that the children brought out by the elderly are not the same as the children brought out by their parents.
Elderly people and parents educate their children differently.
We all know that the elderly generally love their children more in the process of educating their children, and even turn this love into doting. Therefore, it will make children become very willful in the process of growing up, and even have no ability to live independently. But in the process of educating their children, parents usually have their own principles.
Therefore, children who grow up in this situation generally have a more independent personality. And they will become people who are as principled as their parents. <>
The children brought out by the elderly will be more introverted.
And most of the children brought out by the elderly will have an introverted personality. Because in the process of accompanying children, the elderly will always carefully protect the children. It will also reduce the opportunities for children to come into contact with other children, and even some elderly people are not willing to let their children play with other children at all.
Therefore, after the child grows up in this environment, his personality will be more introverted. <>
Children brought out by parents are more confident.
However, in life, children brought out by parents generally have a more confident state. Because parents are more scientific in the way they educate their children, and when they encounter difficulties in the process of their children's growth, they generally choose to encourage their children in the right way. So the child will become very confident.
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