Is it okay to give the child to the grandma, and what are the benefits of giving the child to the gr

After the child is born, there must be a person who takes care of the baby full-time. Judging from today's phenomenon, it is probably these three situations: grandparents or grandparents take care of the children, take care of the children themselves, and find a nanny to take care of the children.

Due to financial pressure, many young mothers are busy with work after giving birth, and they are not at ease to find a nanny to take care of their children, after all, there are too many cases of nannies taking children. Then all that remains is to ask your parents to help take care of the baby. Grandma is the child's closest relative, blood is thicker than water, and she will be really good to the child, so naturally there is no need to worry about the child's safety.

However, there are indeed many problems in the elderly with children, and in the long run, it is not conducive to the psychological development of children's personality. It is easy to over-indulge and indulge, so that children are too "self-centered", affect the development of self-awareness, and form a selfish and willful bad character. When the old man has unreasonable requirements for children, he takes more obedience and meets his needs in a way and attitude, which is easy to make children have a sense of "self-centeredness", and the child has a mistake that can not be corrected in time, and the child's unreasonable desire will be unprincipled to be satisfied, even if the parents try to change, there is the role of the old man's umbrella, the child has no fear, and will cry and make a fuss if he does not agree with his wishes, in order to meet the requirements of non-points.

The elderly are more arranged to replace and protect, which hinders the development of young children's ability to be independent. The proportion of grandparents replacing them is significantly higher than that of their parents. When the child can already walk, the grandparents have to carry them up and down the stairs; When the child eats, he is worried that the child will not be able to eat, so he feeds it one bite at a time, or chases after him.

It's not good, it's better to bring it yourself

All kinds of practices do not just tie the child's hands and feet, and miss the sensitive period of "tidying up by yourself, returning things to their original places, and eating by yourself", which leads to the slow development of children's movements, poor independence, and loss of confidence when they encounter difficulties, and they will only shout and wait for others to help, and will not try or exercise, only crying and tantrums.

Generation-skipping education can easily kill children's natural curiosity, adventurous and innovative spirit. The elderly are susceptible to the constraints of traditional thinking, slow to accept new things, relatively lagging behind in education and parenting concepts, and it is not easy to change the thinking patterns and lifestyles formed over the years. They expect their children to be well-behaved, obedient, steady, and not out of line, and not good at using scientific and creative ways to guide children.

In terms of education, due to the limited energy of the elderly, some of them are unable to keep up with the culture, and their thinking is also outdated, they do not understand the educational needs of children at each stage, and they cannot develop their children's intelligence in a timely manner, which affects their children's early education and neglects their children's future.

Under the pressure of life and work, parents hand over the responsibility of children's life and growth and various education to grandparents or grandparents, which is a more common education method in modern society, and we call it generational education. Here's what I shared about the benefits of intergenerational parenting, so let's take a look.

The benefits of intergenerational parenting.

The wisdom of different generations: The elders of the previous generation, because of their delicate thoughts and rich growth experience, and their parents can also trust, so they can take care of their children more completely and properly in their daily life.

Relaxed mentality: Compared with parents with work pressure, the elders are much calmer and calmer than their parents, and they are more energetic, patient and loving to accompany and nurture the next generation of children.

Passing on the mentality from generation to generation: it is extremely easy for the elderly to establish a friendly relationship with their grandchildren, which can create a good emotional foundation for teaching children; In addition, the old man pities the children of the family even more because of the idea that their grandchildren are connected to themselves and love the house and the house.

The disadvantages of intergenerational upbringing.

Excessive spoiling: The elders in the family spoil the children too much, which can easily lead to the occurrence of undesirable situations such as the child's willfulness, high dependence and low self-care ability.

It is difficult to change the old-fashioned: different generations will inevitably have more conservative and old-fashioned concepts, which may have adverse effects on the development of children's ability to enter society and adapt to the group in the future.

Too much interference from the elders: When parents make strict demands on their children, the elders in the family often intervene, so that parents cannot immediately correct their children's mistakes and shortcomings.

Optimize the intergenerational parenting model.

Harmonious family relationship: Children can only truly feel the warmth of family affection in a family environment where they are loved by their elders and educated by strict fathers and mothers. For modern children, a harmonious family relationship is the best nourishment for growth.

There are many things and problems that parents can communicate with the elders in the family in advance, such as: what should not be indulged by the elderly, where the elderly should be spoiled, when should the children be with their parents more, etc., so as to avoid disputes.

Moderate time allocation: Elders should not take care of the child's daily life and daily life, and if the child becomes severely dependent on him, it will have a negative impact on the child's development.

Summary. If the economic conditions can, of course, it is better for the child to be brought by the mother There is a good saying, 3 years old to see the old, 7 years old to see the old. The 3-6 years old stage, also known as the "wet cement period", is the best stage for children's character formation.

It can be said that whatever you teach your child, he will learn. Teach him to be polite, righteous and honest, and the child will become polite. Teach him to be persistent and the child will become patient.

Therefore, at this stage, the company of parents is especially important, because only you know what your own children want to be like. Give it to your grandparents to raise, even if you try your best, the children you raise will inevitably deviate from your goals.

If the economic conditions can, of course, it is better for the child to be brought by the mother There is a good saying, 3 years old to see the old, 7 years old to see the old. The 3-6 years old stage, also known as the "wet cement period", is the best stage for children's character formation. It can be said that whatever you teach your child, he will learn.

Teach him to be polite, righteous and honest, and the child will become polite. Teach him to be persistent and the child will become patient. Therefore, at this stage, the company of parents is especially important, because only you know what your own children want to be like.

Give it to your grandparents to raise, even if you try your best, the children you raise will inevitably deviate from your goals.

Scientific studies have shown that children don't remember until the age of 3, but you have to admit that even if they don't remember, they still prefer to be with someone who takes care of them regularly. That's why it's important for children to bring their own from an early age. So it must be brought by the mother.

Another reason is that mothers and grandparents have different methods of educating their children. Grandparents are more intimate than parents for their children, because they love them too much, and children will develop a character of being self-respecting and self-respecting when they reach out for food. In the critical period of comprehensive quality cultivation before the age of 3, the love of parents, the companionship of children, and the guidance of children are irreplaceable by anyone.

Parents are the first teachers of their children, and they are also the best teachers, and if they want their children to have a good future, it is best to be led by their parents before the age of 3.

According to China's Marriage Law and the Law on the Protection of the Rights and Interests of the Elderly, children should do their best to maintain and take care of the lives and health of the elderly.

In real life, whether children should pay for the elderly to bring grandchildren should be decided on a case-by-case basis. If the elderly are willing to take care of their grandchildren and have the ability to take care of their grandchildren, then the children can consider reimbursing some of the elderly's related expenses, such as room and board, medical expenses, etc., to express gratitude and respect for the elderly.

However, if the elderly person is unwilling or unable to take the grandchild, or the child himself cannot afford the fee, then there is no need to force the child to pay the fee. In this case, children can consider other ways to take care of the elderly, such as hiring a nanny for the elderly, sending the elderly to a nursing home, etc.

The relationship between children and the elderly should be based on mutual respect and understanding, and there should be no conflicts and disputes due to financial problems. Both parties can negotiate and communicate to find the most suitable solution together.

Children don't have to call the children to the grandparents to bring this early to the inevitability, but it is customary for the grandparents to help bring the grandchildren if they are willing.