The child is very good, but parents always say that he can t do it, why?

Parents have too strong a sense of competition and hope that their children will not lose at the starting line.

Above. In today's society that encourages competition, people's sense of competition is getting stronger and stronger. As today's parents, in order not to let their children lose at the starting line, they often have higher requirements for them, and now parents have a kind of psychology of hoping that their sons will become dragons and their daughters will become phoenixes, and their children can be better than others when they are young.

Parents' expectations are too high, and the current situation of the child is quite different from the parents' expectations.

But we found that in fact, many children are already very good in the eyes of others, but in the eyes of parents themselves, they always feel that their children are not good enough, which may be because every parent has their own expectations in their hearts, and always wants their children's performance to match our expectations. I hope that my child is the first in the school, but if my child only takes the third grade, he feels that his child is not good enough and does not achieve the good as he originally expected. I hope that my child not only has good grades, but also can be versatile, and can have some specialties such as painting and painting, but if the child only has good grades, then parents will feel that the child is not good.

Parents' high expectations for their children often give their children greater psychological pressure and become an obstacle to their growth.

Always completely deny the child because of some weaknesses and some deficienciesIn other respects, it's a wrong approach. ThisProbably the common problem of many of our parents, as the parents of our children, we should be the one who knows the child best, and should stand in a neutral position and give the child the most fair evaluation, but in real life, many parents always can't give their children an objective evaluation

We demand too much from our children, and they are very demanding. In fact, we should give children a more relaxed environment, so that children can be positively affirmed, instead of giving bad reviews if they are slightly dissatisfied. Don't you know, maybe one of our bad reviews will make the child have a bad psychology and make the child more negative.

I originally wanted to make my child better, but we kept saying that the child can't do it, but it will ruin the child's life.

This is also a modest attitude of parents, in fact, it is more certain from the heart, and it is also for fear that the child will be proud, so he will always feel that the child is not good in front of others.

Parents often don't see the good in their children, and they can't find the right way to encourage their children, and at the same time, they feel that their children should get better, and they are very dissatisfied.

The child is very good, but the parents always say that he can't, because on the one hand, the parents want the child to be more perfect and better; On the other hand, some parents are more modest, a kind of humble thinking. It is also possible that their children are excellent and proud, and they just talk about it.

Parents always say that children are not good, which is a kind of self-righteous "suppressive education", which will bring many irreparable consequences to children.

1. Lack of security.

Being denied since childhood, I will be full of skepticism about everything, even intimate relationships, unable to trust each other, and always feel that I will be abandoned if I don't do well.

2. No assertiveness.

Being suppressed since childhood, lacking affirmation and recognition, they will have no confidence in themselves, unable to make their own decisions, and in society, authority becomes superiors and colleagues, and they will be recognized by obeying orders, not daring to take responsibility, and not daring to express their own opinions.

3. Low self-esteem. Because I feel that I just can't do it, I have a sense of unworthiness, I will feel that I don't deserve to have good things, and I will always drop the chain at some critical moments.

4. Stay away from home.

When I grow up, I don't like my parents, because what I get from my parents is a feeling of depression.

5. Weak anti-strike ability.

Being blamed for a long time creates frustration, and this frustration leads to the inability to do anything about it. When faced with setbacks in life, it is easy to take a run away from them rather than actively solve them. At the same time, it can lead to the wrong way of attributing, attributing misfortune to the injustice of fate.

Learn to listen: No matter what age your child is, learn to listen to your child's thoughts and ideas, especially to value your child's frustration and wonderful ideas. When it is more expressive, it is also extremely dependent on the parents, and will express their happiness and unhappiness to the parents, when the child tells the parents, "I am disappointed today."

Don't feel that your child is still young and don't have these thoughts, and don't feel that you are busy and don't have time to listen. When children want to talk to their parents, parents should put down their work as much as possible, listen carefully to their children's explanations, and give reasonable advice to their children. , so that children can feel the respect and care of their parents, and are willing to communicate their inner thoughts with their parents.

Set an example: parents are the first teacher of the child, and is a lifelong teacher, the height of the parents determines the height of the child, as a parent, every behavior is affecting the child's behavior, especially the moral etiquette and the way of doing things, are the parents in the daily life of the subtle influence of the child, so as parents to pay special attention to their own behavior, to know that the child's learning ability is very strong. Parents should set up for their children to change when they know their mistakes, respect the old and love the young, be honest and trustworthy, and "don't take the good as the small, and don't take the evil as the small."

Seriousness, self-discipline and self-improvement and other aspects of the role model.

Learn to encourage: A child who grows up under blows is inevitably inferior to a child who grows up with encouragement. Children who grow up with encouragement are not only stronger in their hearts, but also more confident in communicating with others and dealing with others, and more likely to succeed in doing things.

Encourage children to create themselves from an early age, especially when children are in the stage of strong curiosity, at this time their creativity, observation is more than any stage, do not restrict their behavior too much, let alone discourage their practices, what parents should do is to encourage comfort and reshape the heart when the child is frustrated.

Let go of the strong: Strong parents educate children who are often more rebellious or weak. If you, as a parent, often to children.

If you speak in a commanding tone, your child will complain about your words, especially in adolescence, and will resist vigorously. Don't always treat children as children who don't think, don't think that parents are superior, parents and children are equal, think more from the perspective of children, pay attention to their attitude when speaking, and discuss with children in a peaceful and gentle tone.

Children are their own, so parents should pay more attention to their own behavior, learn more about themselves, how to do a good job as a parent, learn more, learn from each other's strengths, think from multiple angles, and the problem will be slowly solved.

Always saying that your own children may make your child rebellious, it is best to praise and motivate positively.

Such behavior is bad.

It's because of the blind comparison psychology in the hearts of parents that is making trouble. I always think that other people's children are very good, but my own children are very bad.

I'm sure many people will find this strange phenomenon. In the eyes of parents, other people's children are always better, and their own parents seem to be accustomed to comparing their own children with other people's children. And the children of their own family really come to the conclusion that everything is inferior to the children of other people's families.

As a result, my own children have been compared since childhood, which has actually caused a lot of harm to the children.

Perhaps many parents think that their children should work harder than other people's children. This is the method of agitation.

But in fact, children do not accept this comparison. The children even think that this comparison is a big hurt. Parents are unable to achieve their goals and can even keep their children away from themselves in this comparison.

As a parent, the greatest achievement is to raise a good child. Always thinking about how good those children of other people's families are, it is easy to have a negative impact on those children, and even make those children think that their parents' love for them is conditional. If I were the only one who was as good as other people's children, my parents would love me very much.

Children who grow up in this environment are prone to deny themselves, and they don't trust real people when they grow up.

In fact, parents must get rid of this misconception and accept the fact that their children are ordinary and their children are imperfect. Compared to other things, the child itself is really important. Children are not the capital and tools of parental comparison.

Children should be love itself. This is the greatest gift of parents and the greatest achievement of a lifetime. Therefore, stop thinking that other people's children are encouraging and praising your own.

Therefore, it is sometimes not necessary for parents to always compare other people's children, because everyone's situation is different, especially in learning, everyone's learning method.

are all different, so parents must care more about their children and see the essence through the phenomenon.

I believe that many people will find such a strange phenomenon, in the eyes of parents, those children of other people's families are always better, and their own parents seem to be accustomed to comparing their own children with those of other people's families, and then come to a conclusion: those children of their own family are really inferior to those children of other people's families. As a result, my own children have been compared since childhood, which is actually very harmful to children.

In fact, parents should get out of this misunderstanding and accept the fact that their children are ordinary and that their children are not perfect. Compared with other things, the child itself is really important, the child is not the capital and tool of the parents, the child should be the love itself, the greatest gift of the parents and the greatest achievement in this life. So, stop thinking that those children in other people's families are encouraging and praising those children in your own family.

Because many parents have more contact with their children and know that their children's abilities are in the best place, and many other people's children are of course behaving well outside, so parents will feel this way.

It may be that parents feel that their children should be better than everyone else in order to satisfy themselves, and they are too strict with their children.

Some children do not need parental supervision, but their academic performance is very good because of the child's management skills.

Strong and able to learn independently. Moreover, the education of parents is also very good, so that children can enter the state of learning without being supervised while learning. Parents must pay attention to efficiency when educating their children, and as long as the children grasp the key points when learning, then they can enter the learning.

Moreover, many children actually have their own learning styles when facing learning, and it is precisely because parents always interfere with their children's learning methods that it will lead to poor children's enthusiasm for learning.

Only when parents learn to let go of their children to learn well, then their children can have good changes. I don't think parents need to worry too much about what kind of knowledge their children want to learn, parents can trust their children, so that their children can learn more knowledge while learning on their own. Every child is smart because they have different comprehension skills when confronted with some knowledge.

If parents urge their children to control their children more and more, then the child's rebellious heart will be stronger. At this time, they will want to fight with their parents, so in this state of mind, the child will not be able to improve his grades. Parents who don't care about teaching their children are often more comfortable, and their children will be able to face fewer things in the process of learning.

Then they only need to enter their own learning state, and they don't need to be disciplined by their parents all the time.

Therefore, every parent must take a correct view of the way of educating their children, and maybe let their children study by themselves, so that their children will have better changes. Give children a chance to experience the bits and pieces of life in the process of learning, so that children can grow better. When I educate my children, I rarely discipline them, because discipline is a kind of bondage and mental oppression for children.

Not only will the child not achieve the desired effect, but will keep retreating.

Children have a strong sense of responsibility, good study habits, master the correct learning methods, have clear learning goals, and have strong self-discipline.

Because I have long developed good family education habits and have my own study plan, I will make my grades very good.

The child has a good self-consciousness and gets a good home education in life, so the child will do what he should do on his own.

Children with strong self-esteem tend to be competitive and never willing to lag behind others in learning, so they are more motivated to learn.

Although parents don't care about their children, it is important to say that parents have been strict with them and have developed a good habit.