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Six modes of interpersonal interaction.
In modern interpersonal relationships, there are six modes of interaction between people, and the results of these six modes are very different, let's analyze:
The first model is that people lose and I win. The value orientation of this model is to harm others and benefit oneself, and the result is that others lose, and they win, and they win. This kind of person satisfies his own interests by harming the interests of others, and they either rely on tricks and robberies, cheating, or even killing people to steal goods; Either by playing clever, disobeying the yang and disobeying, and treating others as fools.
Although they can obtain their own improper interests for a while, but, after all, the paper can't contain the fire, the harm will always hurt, the harm will always hurt, the horse's feet will be exposed one day, their result is either to cause a criminal offense, walk into the high wall or go to the Yellow Spring, or like a rat crossing the street, everyone shouts and beats, everyone despises, they still have happiness and success at all. Some time ago, in many shops and restaurants at the Changsha Railway Station, there was an unseemly trick undercurrent, that is, taking advantage of the opportunity for customers to buy things to exchange counterfeit money for customers, and they spent seven yuan to buy 100 yuan of counterfeit money, and for each one exchanged, they easily earned 93 yuan. In the end, the public security organs took down these people in one fell swoop, confiscated their illegal gains, and dozens of people entered the class room, and what awaits them will be severe punishment by law.
The second model is that people win and I lose. The value orientation of this model is to harm oneself and benefit others, and the result is that oneself loses, others win, and one wins. Some friends may think, this is good, you have to make people from time to time, lose a little yourself, be wronged, and fulfill others, isn't it a good thing?
What we're going to say is that it's not a big deal to compromise once in a while, the question is, are you willing? If you are not willing, and you dare not or do not have the courage to assert your reasonable and legitimate rights and interests, in the long run, it will cause you to be psychologically depressed, depressed, inferior and cowardly, and the depression in your heart will accumulate too much, and there will definitely be an outbreak. There was an honest peasant in the countryside, his daughter-in-law was overrun by the village bully, at first he turned a blind eye and lived in silence, but seeing this bully doing something in his own home, the anger that had been accumulated for a long time exploded, and one day, he hacked the man to death with an axe.
The bully gets his due retribution, but he also pays a heavy price. Therefore, it is not a good model to harm oneself and others, and we must learn to safeguard our legitimate interests.
The third model is that people win and I win. The value orientation of this model is to benefit others and self-interest, and the result is that others win, and I also win, a win-win situation or a win-win situation. There was a blind man who always carried a bright lantern when he went out at night.
When they saw it, they were very surprised and asked him, "Why do you walk with a lantern when you can't see anything?" The blind man said
Actually, of course, I don't light the lantern at night, but to light others. But when they see me, they don't knock me down, so why not help others and protect themselves.
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1. Treat life with positive energy: A person who is positive and optimistic about life can unconsciously infect others and make others feel good. Most people are willing to communicate with people who are full of positive energy.
2. Appropriate praise: Many people like to listen to the language of praise, but be careful not to be too exaggerated, and properly praise her small advantages or small details.
3. Fully understand yourself: Before dealing with others, you must fully understand your own strengths and weaknesses, so that you can better show yourself and understand others more comprehensively.
4. Helpfulness: When others encounter difficulties, it is easy to make a good impression on others by helping others. A helpful person is often also a person with good interpersonal relationships.
5. Build personal image: In daily life, you should establish your own personal image and shape your own personal label.
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In work and life, all kinds of interpersonal interactions consume too much of our energy, and these 6 concise patterns have been summarized to help you. First, you need to know that 90% of the people around you can afford to offend. In interpersonal communication, the most important thing is nothing more than a sense of boundaries, and a sense of boundaries requires you to practice deliberately.
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What is Interpersonal Communication? From a socio-psychological point of view, the meaning of interpersonal communication can be broadly divided into two modes:
From a dynamic point of view, interpersonal communication refers to the process of exchanging information and goods between people and others in social life.
From a static point of view, interpersonal communication refers to the process by which a person establishes relationships with others in social life.
As the name suggests, the interpersonal communication pattern is a unique and specific way of communication and interpersonal behavior in this process.
Although there are hundreds or thousands of interpersonal patterns for hundreds of people, there are similarities between the various models, and there are probably four of the most concise interpersonal modes to sum it up.
Treat people with courtesy, don't judge people by their appearance.
In interpersonal communication, subconscious actions and behaviors will give the other person a different feeling, and politeness is a necessary condition for good interpersonal communication.
People are more likely to be with people who are polite and polite than people who speak loudly and spit in public.
The polite mode of communication also requires us not to judge people by their appearance, which is similar to the "first impression" in psychology.
People often judge the person they are dealing with based on the first sight, and I think how he looks is the right person to continue to communicate with me.
But in many cases, people do not look good, and they have to make a more comprehensive understanding before they can make a judgment, rather than a judgment of life and death.
Express moderately, but also learn to listen.
There's a term in psychology called "self-disclosure," which refers to people being honest and honest about themselves to other people.
In interpersonal communication, moderate self-disclosure, that is, expressing one's own opinions and ideas, will play a role in promoting your communication activities with others to a certain extent.
But you can't express yourself all the time, so that others don't have the opportunity to express yourself, and moderate expression is also important, which requires a balance between expression and listening.
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The five modes of communication commonly used in interpersonal communication are: First, the negotiation type: both parties are willing to discuss problems and strive to find a mutually acceptable solution.
The second, aggressive: one side tries to defeat the other, and its own opinion comes first. The third type, the retreating type:
One party is reluctant to participate in discussions or express their opinions, leaving the other party free to decide. Fourth, the sedan chair play type: the two sides play each other, trying to achieve their own goals.
Fifth, coordination: both parties are willing to discuss problems and try to find a solution that satisfies both parties. These five communication modes have their own applicable situations, and the appropriate communication mode should be selected according to the actual situation when renting interpersonal interactions.
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Interpersonal patterns. 1. Pleasing type: The pleasing person ignores his own value Today, we will briefly introduce these five types of interpersonal communication patterns, you can also see if you or the people around you have this model, and how we should follow the laws of Luzhen psychology and be a person who has always been physically and mentally.
Eliminate the feeling of socks, give up your rights to others, nod yes to everything, give full respect to the people and situations in the relationship, but don't care about your true feelings. 2. Blame type: In order to protect their own rights, the blamer does not accept excuses, troubles or insults from others, does not admit his own vulnerability, and only despises others by constantly annoying and blaming others or the environment, and only thinks that he and the situation need to be considered.
3. Super-rational type: The super-rational person suppresses his feelings and avoids real feelings, in fact, he avoids the distress and pain caused by pressure, and the salient feature is to maintain an inhuman super-rationality, lack of empathy, and he neither pays attention to his own feelings nor the feelings of the other party. The focus is often only on the situation, and the situation is often limited to a monotonous level of data or logic.
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1.Be honest about yourself.
When dealing with strangers, if you want to take the initiative to get to know the other person and get them to like you, you should show the most basic candor, for example, to be honest about yourself. The so-called frank introduction, the key is the truth, what concerns, cover-up, and face psychology, you can put it aside, and tell the other party your true feelings and wisdom without adding too much water, because only you can be sincere in exchange for the sincerity of others, if you are hypocritical from the beginning, then, it is impossible to make the two sides who are strangers to each other become real friends.
2.Take the other party as the center point.
In social situations, dealing with strangers, because people are not familiar with you, so even if you say yourself well, it is difficult to arouse too much interest from others, but if you take the other party as the center point, talk more about the people and things that the other party is familiar with, and create a warm and appropriate environmental atmosphere, so that the other party has a sense of familiarity with you, so that the other party has a feeling of seeing each other late and talking happily, then the next communication will be much smoother.
3.Do what they like, what they need.
When dealing with strangers, one of the best skills to win the favor of the other person is to do what he likes and meet his needs, that is, he can say as much as he likes, and try to meet his needs. Of course, to use this technique well, you need to have a certain understanding of the other person. Therefore, when interacting with strangers, if possible, try to understand some basic information about the other person from various channels, such as occupation, personality, hobbies, etc.
If you just meet and you don't know each other at all, then at the beginning of contact and communication, the first task is to ask and understand some basic information about the other party.
4.Dig into common ground and grasp the degree of interaction.
People are different, but people must have something in common, as long as you can find common ground with each other, even if it is a stranger, it will also make each other have the feeling of "meeting thousands of miles away" and "drinking a thousand glasses of confidants". So, one of the things to do when dealing with strangers is to quickly find what you have in common, such as you're from the same place, or have the same experiences, and so on. In addition, when dealing with strangers, you should also pay attention to the degree of wellness.
5.Compliment each other indirectly.
As we all know, compliments are the most practical social skills, and everyone loves compliments. However, when dealing with strangers, direct praise is not very good, and it is easy to think that you are "courteous". Of course, it is okay to praise a stranger, but it is best to use an indirect way, try to be as subtle as possible, for example, you can not praise him directly, but praise his dress, praise his family, in short, people and things related to him can be praised, so that it does not seem abrupt, but also makes the other person happy.
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Summary. Your interpersonal patterns are pleasing to all. Six Modes of Interpersonal Communication 1
The self-interest model will motivate people to constantly seek bilateral benefits in all interpersonal interactions, that is, both parties will be blessed and happy. 2.The self-interest model often exists in competition.
Your interpersonal patterns are pleasing to all. Six Patterns of Interpersonal Communication 1The self-interest (win-win) model will motivate people to constantly seek bilateral benefits in all interpersonal relationships, that is, both parties have waiters to sell and share the blessings, and everyone is happy.
2.The self-interest model often exists in competition.
In short, interpersonal communication requires the exchange of fortune and gifts. All in all, a simple and good interpersonal model can help us better integrate into the group around us, and even better integrate into today's society, where we are human beings and must learn how to fight with others.
Benefiting others and self-interest Win-win This model will motivate people to constantly seek bilateral interests in all interpersonal interactions. A win-win situation means that both parties are blessed and happy, and this result will make everyone willing to accept the decision.
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Be yourself and go with the flow.
In interpersonal interactions, we also need to tolerate some unintentional mistakes that others may make. No one is perfect, we can ask ourselves to conform to a certain pattern of behavior, but others are free to choose what they want.
Maybe he doesn't agree with your three views, or maybe he has his own interpersonal communication model, and he shouldn't deliberately let others change himself to obey your wishes, which is a bit self-centered.
Rogers, the representative of humanism, advocates people-oriented, to a large extent, the meaning of respect, respect for the differences between others and oneself, and do not use harsh rules to overdemand others.
Reciprocate by moderate reciprocity
In social psychology, there is a principle in the principle of interpersonal communication is the utilitarian principle, which refers to the fact that people interact with each other in social life, which is also a kind of social exchange activity to a certain extent.
We exchange material possessions that we think are valuable and meaningful to each other in our interactions, or we provide spiritual comfort and companionship to each other in our interpersonal activities.
It can be a material exchange, such as spending money on groceries; It can also be an exchange of spirits, such as friendship and affection.
When you overgive in a relationship, it can cause a certain amount of stress for the recipient and make you very tired for yourself.
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