How to effectively affirm a child? How can I get my child s approval?

1. Lower expectations. In the eyes of children, stepparents are the "enemies" who break into their family and steal their love. Stepchildren always focus their strengths on their biological parents and add their weaknesses to their stepparents.

This time must be mentally equipped in advance. Children have the nature of children, and if you don't look at the cherry blossoms, you will be intimate with you when the children come up, and adjust your expectations first, which will reduce the anxiety and worry of remarried couples.

2. Love House and Wu. If you truly love each other, you will love each other's children from the bottom of your heart. When the daughter put her arms around her mother's neck, she pleaded with tears in her eyes

Mom, I don't want a stepfather, I will listen to you and serve you in the future. "What woman in the world can bear the tears of her own children? At this time, the man should appear as the child's big friend, tell stories, do homework, and play games with the child, and only after a long time can he get the child's approval.

Is the man willing? This is a big problem. Therefore, if a remarried family wants to get along happily with each other's children, the husband and wife must truly love each other.

3. Treat sincerely. Don't think that the other party is a stepchild, so you don't dare to express your true self, dare not cause conflict, and swallow your anger in exchange for a smooth interpersonal relationship. A good interpersonal relationship is based on the "exposure of the true self" of both parties, and telling the truth is the most powerful and "low-harmful" at the same time.

Don't think that you only need to do better than your biological parents to establish a good stepchild relationship, this kind of comparison hidden under words and deeds is often more likely to hurt the hearts of stepchildren. Instead, it is better to face the problem head-on and admit frankly that you will never be able to compare with your own parents, but will try your best to provide what you can do as a stepparent. In this way, the child will also let go of "demanding" and "hostile", and give each other a chance to truly build a relationship.

4. Accurate positioning. Stepparents should not try to replace their parents, in the child's psychology will always give the parents an unshakable position and space, the child can give the love of the parents from the parent, and at the same time can give the stepparents the love from the stepson, which is not contradictory. Because from a psychological point of view, no one can "betray" their parents, and this practice of falling in love with stepparents, cutting off the relationship with their parents, or avoiding talking about their parents' relationship will put the child in a strong psychological conflict.

A child will be willing to enter into a new family relationship with his or her stepparents only if the stepparents fully respect the ex and allow the child to maintain a close and solid bond with the biological parents.

1. Have an appreciative heart.

What is appreciation? The key to appreciating education is to look down on children in your heart.

The world-famous educator Sukhomlinsky has a classic saying, he said: "Even if all the people in the world look down on your child, parents should stare at her with tears in their eyes, admire him, inspire him, and never give up!" "This is the greatest love of parenthood.

That is, no matter what the child is, you only have the responsibility to encourage, not the right to fight. Only in this way can we better convey the energy of children's growth.

2. Have a peaceful heart.

Many parents are accustomed to getting angry with their children, and some parents are used to hitting their children. You must know that there is no one in the world, including children, who is willing to be criticized, blamed, verbally abused, and corporally punished by others all day long. Regarding the dangers of educating children with emotions, I believe everyone is clear.

What Teacher Zhou wants to say is that if parents don't correct their rough temper, you will never be able to educate your children well.

3. Have a lasting heart.

The healthy growth of children requires a long guidance process, and it is impossible to make children better with a few words and a beating. Therefore, if you want to correct any of your children's shortcomings, you first need parents to have a mental preparation for "fighting a protracted war". After hard work, when the child still hasn't changed, it's not a hard accusation that the child is not promising, but to reflect on whether his own kung fu has not been meticulous?

Is the right way to reflect on yourself? Is it too urgent to reflect on your own mentality? Wait a minute.

As long as parents are good at reflecting on themselves, and give their children enough time to change, perseverance, perseverance and patience, children will definitely change. When it comes to children, we must always believe in this.

Fourth, have a resourceful heart.

When looking at children's problems, we must have a dialectical vision and be good at learning to see the "good" side from the "bad". Then, in the process of educating the child, learn to "first say what the child likes to hear" and then point out his shortcomings. In this way, the child will sound pleasing to the ear and will be more motivated to make corrections.

Although I got a few questions wrong, I got a lot of them right.

It's wrong, but at least it shows that you have a unique way of thinking.

The homework is a bit sloppy overall, but the words are still good.

Of course, this is not a classic answer, just a few random examples. There is only one purpose in giving these examples: to "look at the long first, then the short" in the face of any problem in the child, and never "criticize directly".

As long as you have this awareness, you will definitely be able to find the child's shining point, even a little bit, even in the past few years, you mention it in front of the child, the child will be happy and proud.

Allowing children to grow up with joy and pride is raising the best children.

To sum up, "appreciation" is a state of mind, "peace" is an attitude, "persistence" is a process, and "resourcefulness" is an art. Without these four basic principles, it is impossible to educate children well. On the other hand, if you grasp these four points, no child will be poorly educated.

1 Can your child feel your love? If asked: Does your child know that you love him?

I believe that many parents take it for granted that the answer is yes, but if the question is thrown at the child, the child may: "I feel like my parents don't love me that much." "It's not their fault that children feel this way, because children's understanding of love is very intuitive, and too deep love does not make them understand.

Ever since I had a sister at home, you don't like me anymore......With me, the opening is study and homework! She listened to it with a sour heart. She slowly realizes that the way she loves Dabao doesn't seem to be noticed by the child.

She thought that the eldest was already in the second grade, and she no longer needed to play Liangtong with him all the time, and she paid more attention to the child's learning. The result is the illusion: "You like my sister and don't like me!"

You only care about grades, you don't care about me at all! "The child's understanding of love is so simple and straightforward, if you have less company and encouragement, he will feel that the love of his parents will become less. Love for children needs to be expressed.

Accompany him often, encourage him, and surprise him, so that he will feel the real existence of love. 02 Did you use the wrong language for your love? I have to say that in real life, many parents use the wrong language when expressing their love for their children.

Mom, I scored 90 points today! "You're happy at 90? Have you reflected on how you lost those 10 points?

Don't you look for the reason? "Mom, I didn't do well in the ...... this time"It's the same as when you did well in the exam, they are all students in the same class, why are you not good at learning Jing Tongtan! "Children crave understanding and love from their parents, and often end up with criticism and discouragement.

How can a child feel love for such an expression? There are also parents whose love makes their children full of pressure, they emphasize giving, emphasizing sacrifice, and looking forward to their children's future, which is too heavy. Some parents obviously care about their children, but what they say is harsh:

You deserve to freeze to death! You just don't listen to what I say! "When we make too many accusations and criticisms of our children, they can't help but think that their parents are looking at him and don't love him.

Psychologist Jeffrey Bernstein said, "Love alone is not enough, and without expressing understanding, the child will not feel your love." Therefore, you must first reduce the negative emotions in your own heart and see more of the strengths and positives of your child. ”