How to alleviate the conflict caused by relatives borrowing?

This contradiction is difficult to resolve, because in the process of borrowing, there will be a lot of contradictions, which may erupt or hide in their hearts, and they think they see you clearly, and they only think that they always feel that you are not good enough, so they will have deep and deep complaints about you, and it is basically difficult to alleviate them, unless you can vacate the house and lend him only to help, so that he can play freely, otherwise it is basically equivalent to breaking up the relationship.

I think the best way is to tell the other person what you think in your heart, so that the other party understands why you are unhappy, which can not only quickly alleviate the conflict between two people, but also make your mood better.

It is best to make a general agreement before the help, such as how long to live, what ideas there are, communicate in advance, if there is any contradiction during the period, I hope to be able to communicate effectively and frankly, after all, it is relatives, empathy, mutual understanding, there will be no major contradictions.

In fact, it is very simple, as long as everything is said, the contradiction will be resolved naturally, don't hold things in your heart. Let others find out, because sometimes people don't think things out very well, so they don't find out what you're thinking. So it's good to get things out of the way and make it clear.

The most important thing is to do a good job of the rest of the family. I have experienced it firsthand, it was a few years ago, a cousin of mine had just arrived in my city, he was not familiar with the place, and he had not yet found a job, so he lived in my house for half a month. Until then, I've done my wife's mental work, and I'll take the initiative to cook and mop the floor.

And my cousin is also more sensible, from time to time to help my wife wash the dishes and do some housework, before leaving also gave a gift to my wife, my wife is very happy, and said that next time let him have time to play.

My parents used to experience this kind of thing, as if my house was a free hotel for relatives. Now that I'm grown up and living on my own, they want to come to my house to borrow money like they used to, but I refused. When they come to me, they always look for a good hotel, and the room is opened, so they go directly to stay.

My husband agrees with me doing the same. No matter whose relatives come, that's how we arrange it.

This kind of contradiction is caused by daily life, and it is generally some small problems, and it is best to be generous in spending money on the borrower, which makes your relatives feel more comfortable, and will not turn their faces for a little thing. The conflict has also been reduced, and when I used to borrow a relative's house, basically two-thirds of the expenses were paid by me, so that the relative had nothing to say, even if it was a little trivial, it passed.

It's very easy, after the relatives are gone, you can also go to the relatives' house to live, to trouble them, to borrow money, to find someone to do things, for this kind of relatives who are very excessive, you should do it, you can't coax it, you must be iron-headed.

Because if you live with relatives for a long time, it may lead to some conflicts and contradictions in life, and both parties may gradually start to hate each other, and eventually the relationship will get worse and worse, making both parties feel uncomfortable, so it is still necessary to try to avoid living in relatives' homes for a long time.

It is very inconvenient for both parties Although they are relatives, they are not people who can be kind enough to live under one roof. Because after all, living in someone else's house, you can't take anything casually, you can't eat anything casually, and life is very inconvenient.

You should also learn to avoid suspicion between relatives, try not to be out for a long time, there will be conflicts after a long time, and slowly the relationship will become bad.

This situation needs to be treated on a case-by-case basis, how long do relatives come to live at home? Why did you borrow it?

If it's because of the excuse of coming to a big city to see a doctor or study, we try to be tolerant, because the other party does have difficulties, and the help is only temporary. If the other party is because they want to come to the big city to play, often every once in a while a wave of distant relatives, and disturb our own normal life, then we should show our attitude, directly refuse, it can be said that the work is very busy recently and needs to work late, the family is really inconvenient, if there is a need to help contact the hotel.

Don't disturb your own life because of the other party's unreasonable requests, because if there are more people in the family, even the best relatives will make you worry and affect your normal life. If you really live in, you can tell them some of your living habits before they move in, such as what time to get up, some of your preferences, you must say it in advance, so as not to have conflicts in the future, and it is not easy to talk about it, and if it is a lover's family, try to say it by the lover, if these relatives are introduced by the elders in their own family to live permanently, it proves that they are very close to the elders, and if there is a problem, they will help to talk about it.

Since you have already promised to let them in, then try to endure it for a few days, wait until you leave, and next time if you make a similar request again, find an excuse and prevaricate.

In the case of relatives renting from relatives, I think it will be unpleasant to the people and children on the other side of the relatives who come to borrow relatives. For example, if a relative on the father's side comes to borrow it, this may cause unhappiness to the mother.

In the same way, if a relative on the mother's side comes to borrow it, it may cause unhappiness to the father. It will also cause the child to be unhappy, especially if it is a child, and it is inevitable that one of the parents will express part of his love to the child who comes to borrow.

If we can solve this problem, then there will be no contradictions. First of all, we should not try too hard to take care of the borrower, otherwise it will inevitably cause unhappiness to the family, and think that you are better to outsiders than to family members.

Secondly, it is important for the borrower to pay attention to, and it is also crucial, you must remember that you are here to borrow, it is very troublesome for the family, you must pay more attention to your own behavior, and you should not trouble others where you can not bother others, it is best to let people have a feeling that you do not have a lot of things to do, and others will eat whatever they do, and arrange for you to sleep wherever you sleep.

Work more, you're not here to eat white rice, don't make people feel like an extra burden, otherwise you'll not be far from being driven away.

To be honest, it is a very troublesome thing for relatives to borrow, if it is only for two or three days, it is okay to say, but if it is for a long time, it will cause a lot of unnecessary conflicts.

After all, it is people with different living habits living together, and there will be a lot of inconvenience, it is very inconvenient to talk and do things, if their relatives are there, causing the dissatisfaction of the family, they are caught in the middle of the two sides of the dilemma, in fact, they are also very aggrieved, but they can't talk to their relatives directly, and they can't refute the complaints of their families.

Therefore, when a relative proposes to come to your house to borrow a house, you must take these factors into account, if you can politely refuse it is the best, if you can't, it is to offend the relative and not to make trouble for the family.

But if the contradiction has arisen, then it is recommended that you explain to your relatives that you can't continue to catch it even if you tear your face, because after all, every family has its own fixed life pattern, and suddenly an outsider lives in, breaking this common pattern, everyone dares to be angry and dare not speak, and finally complains on you, not to mention that you have been wronged, and the family is not harmonious, and the gains outweigh the losses.

I've been unemployed for almost three months, and I haven't told my parents that I'm still struggling to get started because the mortgage has to be repaid every month, and the monthly expenses are very large. Two days ago, my husband borrowed money from his cousin and planned to borrow 10,000 yuan, and my cousin said that it was difficult for him, so he said that he could only lend us 5,000 yuan, and nothing more.

Later we chose not to borrow money from him because we knew that it would not be easy for anyone. We understand his nervousness, just as he understands our embarrassment. Because we can understand each other, there is no contradiction. And that's what I think is the best kinship.

Not to mention borrowing money, borrowing is the same. If your relatives are people who understand each other like me and my husband, then we will feel embarrassed and inconvenient to borrow from you, we will be grateful, and we will not have any conflicts with you.

Frankly speaking, even if it is a relative, it is easy to hurt feelings and anger when they come to your house to borrow or live temporarily. Both of them will be uncomfortable.

To put it bluntly, there are many relatives, and there are also relatives with different personal qualities. If he is worthy of your sacrifice for him, and if it is worth your free house for him to live temporarily, you will never have a big conflict with your worthy relatives. The relatives who really make you have conflicts are really not worthy of living in your house and not worthy of being too close to you.

Find a few hotels for them to choose!

For relatives to borrow this is not easy to solve, if just borrow for a few days to nothing, but long-term borrowing will have a certain impact on our daily life, such as when we make some decisions are not good to force relatives, but also affect some of our daily life, and relatives and our living habits are different, we have to take care of his habits but do not conform to their own living habits, more uncomfortable. Besides, we can't directly refuse relatives, that's weird and embarrassing, but in fact, if you borrow it for too long, your relatives will also feel embarrassed, you can tell your relatives euphemistically, I believe he will understand, but relatives directly need to understand.

I think this situation is normal. If your relative is very polite and he comes to stay at your house for a few days, you should understand. If your relative is the kind of relative who is particularly shameless. Then come to your house often. You have to be very cold.

I will help my relatives contact a rental agent, help them rent a suitable house, and then let them live in a rented house, which can solve the problem fundamentally.

In fact, this kind of thing is sometimes better to put it bluntly, both sides have to understand each other, just understand.