Classic cold jokes must be new!!!!!!!!!! Hurry

Classic, new don't you feel contradictory?

Every time my wife quarrels with my husband, my wife goes to the toilet for a long time, and so many times, my husband has to ask my wife: What are you doing in the toilet? Seems quite relieved?

My wife said: Clean the toilet! My husband asked if washing the toilet can also fucking relieve gas?

My wife said: I don't know, anyway, it's your toothbrush every time.

Son: I'm growing up, and I'm going to marry my mother. Father:

No, I'm married to your mother. Son: Then I married my grandmother.

Father: No.........Son: Why can you marry my mother and I can't marry your mother!!

Xiaoli always pestered her father, and once, her father broke out: "Don't call Dad!" After a while, Dad's door was pushed open, and Xiaoli said, "Auntie's brother, Grandpa's son, I want to drink water." Dad was speechless and ......

There is a bear child at home, and at noon yesterday lz was sleeping at home, and his son suddenly ran in: "Wang, it's not good, there is a monk with a hairy face and a thunder mouth outside who is about to come in" I thought I was still playing with me and told him: "Take the king's dog stick, I'll go to meet Nasi" As soon as the words fell, his grandfather stood at the door of the bedroom with a black line.

My 4-year-old cousin was having dinner at my house, and my mother clipped a fish head and asked her if she wanted to eat it, and she said, "I will never eat fish heads again!" Mom asked why, and she gave this answer:

Last time I had dinner at my uncle's house, when I finished eating a fish head, I looked up and found that they had eaten the whole table! ”

Yesterday I was walking down the road and saw a handsome guy coming from the other side. I'm so excited. When we pass by. My bag was robbed, I was very sad, I cried all night for this incident, I really can't figure out how bad I am as good as my bag.

A few people were in the golf locker room, a mobile phone rang for a long time, and a man pressed the hands-free button. F: Honey, are you in the club?

M: Yes. Female:

I saw a BMW that was less than two million. Man: Buy.

F: And that real estate is on the market again, 60,000 square meters. M:

Buy. F: I love you so much.

M: I love you too. The man next to him was dumbfounded in admiration.

The man hung up ** and asked: Whose phone is this?

Today a friend came to the house to play and bought two large watermelons. My son wanted to eat it, but he was embarrassed to say it, so he turned around twice and asked me: Mom, did you buy this watermelon?

In the third year of junior high school, the head teacher directly changed the office location to the corner of the last row of the class, which was a chemistry class, because the last chemistry class learned sodium The teacher asked "what is sodium" in order to review. Everyone was silent, and the teacher said loudly, "Sodium!" Be! Miscellaneous!

Whatever! At this moment, the head teacher's mobile phone rang in the back row, "That's a magical heavenly road" After two seconds of silence, the whole class burst into laughter, and the chemistry teacher's face turned green at that time.