Friend, I know that funny jokes are sent in! Coaxing my girlfriend, I m in a hurry, thank you

What happened to Liang Shanbo and Zhuyintai after they became butterflies?

Answer: Gave birth to a whole bunch of caterpillars.

I don't know if you don't feel like this, no matter what your girlfriend says or what she says, in short, as long as it's about her, you'll be very happy, because you love her, in other words, no matter what you do, she will be happy, no need to deliberately please, just use your heart! Will you play piggy? Hey, hey, you can try it.

1. The law department of a certain university took the criminal law exam one day. The first question a professor asks a student is, "What is fraud?" ”

The professor was surprised: "How do you explain it?" ”

"Under the Penal Code, a person who takes advantage of the ignorance of another person and causes him to suffer losses is guilty of fraud......”

2. One day, a professor suddenly stopped teaching and said to everyone in a serious tone"If the students who sit in the middle and chat can be as quiet as the students who sit at the end and play cards, then the students who sit in the front and sleep will not be disturbed. "

3. When handing in homework to the art teacher, a student handed over a blank piece of paper.

The teacher asked"What about painting? "

Student answers:"This! "He said, pointing to the blank paper.

Teacher:"What do you draw? "

Students:"Cows eat grass. "

Teacher:"What about grass? "

Students:"Eaten up by cows. "

Teacher:"What about cows? "

Students:"The grass is all gone, what are the cows still doing there? "

4. Mr. Smith, as soon as he had examined a female patient and confirmed that she was pregnant, said, "Mrs. Mary, I have good news for you. ”

It's Miss Mary. The young lady corrected.

Oh, Miss Mary," said the doctor, "I have bad news for you.

5. A student slept during class and was discovered by the teacher.

Teacher: "Why do you sleep during class?" ”

A certain student: "I didn't sleep! ”

Teacher: "Then why did you close your eyes?" ”

A certain student: "I'm closing my eyes and meditating!" ”

Teacher: "Then why are you nodding your head?" ”

A student: "You just made a lot of sense! ”

Teacher: "Then why are you drooling?" ”

A student: "Teacher, you are very relished!" ”

6. The girl imagines the future and writes:

I hope to have a healthy child in the future, and I also hope to have a husband who truly loves me.

Teacher's comment: Please pay attention to the order of precedence.

7. A teacher said to the students, "Do you think you are stupid, please stand up." ”

Everyone was silent for a few minutes, and then a boy slowly got up.

The teacher said, "Why do you think you're stupid?" ”

The boy replied, "No, teacher, I can't bear to let you stand alone."

8. During an English test, Jun A was at a loss, and suddenly saw that Jun B was full, so he hurriedly threw paper over for help. After a while, Mr. B threw a ball of paper. A gentleman was overjoyed and hurriedly unpacked.

I saw an eraser wrapped in the paper, and the eraser was painted with the letters A, B, C, D on all sides, and there were a few small words on the paper:"Throw it yourself! "

9. Once the girl was sick, the boy accompanied her to the hospital room for an intravenous drip, and ten or twenty minutes passed, but there was no movement. The boy thought about breaking the silence and asked:"Is it cold?

Cold! "The girl replied. "I'll cover you in the cold?

The girl blushed and whispered:"Good! "Then the boy got up and covered the drip bottle with his hand.

10. Today the iphone4 I just bought was stolen, with the mentality of giving it a try, I sent a text message to my mobile phone: "The mobile phone can be given to you, can you return the card to me?" After the text message was sent, the other party quickly replied:

Yes, you can bring me the charger of your phone. ”

Give her a surprise Take her to a certain restaurant, and put rose petals on the table to write about your love for her I hope it inspires you.

Why force yourself to change it so much, love is mutual, if she can't understand these, and in case she just likes your shyness, make your girlfriend happy, those are sweet words, etc., your girlfriend just doesn't like those who are full of sweet words.

Maybe you have good intentions and want to change, but good intentions are not necessarily right

In fact, your girlfriend probably doesn't care what kind of joke you tell, mainly your heart.

For example: There is a pair of corns who are in love...

So they decided to get married....

On the day of the wedding....One corn can't find the other....

The corn asked the popcorn next to him: Have you seen our corn?

Popcorn: Honey, people are wearing wedding dresses.......

Once upon a time there was a marshmallow who went to play ball and played for a long time. He said, "I'm so tired, I feel like I've softened my whole body.........."

The diver had a difficult move, he did a triple twist followed by a front flip and a half followed by a back flip for a month.

mm got lost looking for college. Meet a well-mannered professor.

MM: Excuse me, how can I go to university?

Professor: You can only go to university if you study hard.

The director and the section chief shared the elevator, and the director said to the section chief after farting: You fart! The section chief said: I didn't put it....Soon the section chief was dismissed, and the director said at the meeting: You can't afford to take on big things, what use do you want?

Look in the mirror (or look at your own **) and say: Wow, this man, so handsome, presumably his girlfriend must be beautiful.

You go and learn 18 touches, and then you use them, and basically your personality changes.

Every time my husband tells me a joke about a white rabbit or a tortoise, I laugh a lot.

How can there be a temporary cramming, this is a habit.

A man goes fishing and catches a squid.

The squid begged, "Don't roast me."

The fisherman said, "Okay, then I'll torture you with a few questions, okay?" ”

The squid said, "Okay, you can roast it, you can roast it." ”

Then the fisherman grilled the squid...

A little biased: Dad: "Girl, how did you do in the exam?" Girl: "Not so good! Dad: "How many did you score?" Girl: "Zero points in math, six points in Chinese".

Dad: "Well, it's not very good, it's a bit of a bias. ”

COS actor Yang Daxia: On the day of happiness, take the initiative to hold hands|Lyrics happy day, take the initiative to hold hands.

Mutual affection and foam, if you don't die, you have to live.

Build a rainbow bridge and tease the baby together.

Wave to Feiyan and go happily.

April Fool's jokes.

April Fool's Day Surprise.

My stomach was uncomfortable, so I ran to the toilet, untied my pants and squatted, comfortable.

When the work is done, look for toilet paper, stunned, empty scrolls.

Paperless. In an instant, I realized that today was April Fool's Day, so I scolded angrily and tossed people not to look here! In a hurry, I suddenly found a pocket.

The mobile phone cried with joy, and I was especially careful that the mobile phone would fall into the pit and lose the last life-saving grass.

**Colleague No. 1, "I'm in the toilet, paperless, come to the rescue!" My colleague replied: Today's April Fool's Day, there were people just now.

Shouting for toilet paper for emergency, how can there be people? Not credible! ”。After speaking, I hung up and scolded bitterly.

**Colleague No. 2, "I'm in the toilet, paperless, come to the rescue!" The colleague replied, "Today."

April Fool's Day, all except.

Out, all the work refuses, sorry! ”。After speaking, hang up, in pain.

**Colleague No. 3, "I know today is April Fool's Day, I'm in the toilet, paperless, come to the rescue, please believe me!" The colleague replied: "How can you imitate me, just use this trick to deceive a person, why do you use it without consultation?" ”。

That's it. Hang up, helpless.

**Colleague No. 4, dialing. The squatting toilet next door sounded, "Friend, don't expect it, I'm already three here."

hours, ** has run out of power, and has not been out of trouble so far! ”

Fainting.

M: There are two little white rabbits, one is called I like you, the other is called I don't like you, one day, I don't like you to go out, what is the name of the one that stays at home?

F: I like you.

M: Well, I like you too.

M: Say three words, it warms your heart and fulfills your wishes.

F: I love you.

M: That's right, I want to hear about it.

F: You love me.

M: There are two little white rabbits, one is called I like you, the other is called I don't like you, one day, I don't like you to go out, what is the name of the one that stays at home?

F: I like you.

M: There are two little white rabbits, one says I love you and the other says I don't love you, one day, I love you and goes out, so who is left?

F: Damn, what do you mean?

F: I don't love you.

M: Then I love you too.

Do new learners like to read?

I like Uncle En, and I like to see you.

A couple of lovers in love. The woman asks the man to send her a joke every day to make her happy, and she finally dies laughing. Ha ha.

If I have two pieces of candy, one I eat and the other you watch me eat.

When you're sad, lean on my shoulder, no more than 30 minutes at a time, up to a maximum of 48 times a day.

A snail was moving down the road, and the turtle came from behind and ran over him. So the snail was sent to first aid. When the snail regained consciousness, the police asked him how he was doing, to which the snail replied:"I don't remember, he was too fast at the time. "

Aman: I shook hands with a girl a while ago, and she was actually pregnant."

Ototo: "It's impossible, can you get pregnant with a handshake?" ”

Man A: "Oh, I didn't expect that I didn't like washing my hands, so she didn't like it either."

Do you understand +++ It's very harmonious)

F: Let's break up. M:

Why? F: The exam is over, so you don't need to grab a place in the library.

M: Oh, but I have two train tickets for the Spring Festival. Female:

I hate it.,Actually, people joke with you.。。

1. If you are not happy, I will give you care, if you feel unhappy, I will give you care, if you are not happy, I will give you care, if you are really in trouble, then I will turn off the phone...

2. A: What does postdoc mean? B: You don't know that? It's the doctor's wife! A: Why? B: Because the emperor's wife is called the queen, the king's wife is called the queen, and the doctor's wife is of course called the postdoctor!

3. There are two people who have been in love with each other for many years, but they have never been able to be together, and one day, they are finally together, and they are. ceilings and floors.

4. Female secretary: "Boss, your wife is coming, she said she wants to kiss you in **." Boss: "You collect it for me first, and then come and give it to me later." “

5. Women's view of mate selection: handsome guys are valuable, middle-aged prices are higher, if there is a rich man, both can be thrown. The leftover woman's view of mate selection: the house and car stand aside, lose the watermelon and pick up sesame seeds, the market ** price drops, what you say you can do!

6. Xiao Zhang took a large bottle of urine for testing. Assays showed "no abnormalities". Xiao Wang went home and announced: My girlfriend and I don't have diabetes, neither do my parents, nor do my grandfather, and everyone is in good health.

7. The temperature in summer is rising, and the enthusiasm is high and irritable; The busyness of work is not reduced, but the efficiency is plummeting. There is no summer fee to accompany you, change a few thoughts in your heart, cool down and cool off the heat is indispensable for you, lovely summer fee.

8. A man was constipated when he went to the toilet, and suddenly saw a person rushing in, and the wind and rain were mixed in an instant. "Dude, I really envy you, so fast. "What are you envious of, you didn't take off your pants."

9. Dear wife, do you remember the happy times when we were young, I haven't sent you flowers for a long time, you have been working hard for the family, I am here to send you a bouquet of flowers by text message, wife, you have worked hard!

10. When a buddy got married, he was stuffed with red envelopes at the door, and the red envelopes on his body were stuffed, and he didn't open the door, and the groom shouted directly to the stupid daughter-in-law, which is all our family's money.

Although you are ugly, you think beautiful!

I just like you, I just want chao