Who has any jokes? Let s laugh, please, 3Q

I heard from a friend that he was a boy with a low EQ in college, and finally met a girl he liked, and the two just started dating.

Once the girl was sick, and the boy accompanied her to the infirmary for a drip. Ten minutes passed, twenty minutes passed, and there was no movement.

Thinking of breaking the silence, the boy asked, "Is it cold?" ”

Cold" "Cold, I'll cover you? ”

The girl blushed and whispered "yes" and the boy got up...

Cover the drip bottle with your hand.

Four years after graduation, I finally took over a big project to build a 30-meter chimney, with a construction period of two months and a cost of 300,000 yuan, but I had to advance money. It was finally done at the end of last year.

Today, when people go to the acceptance, they are scolded to death, and they have no money to take it.

Damn it! The drawings are reversed, and they are going to dig a well!

Going shopping with a colleague, this person is good at bargaining. In one afternoon, I bought the most things with the least amount of money. I was full of a sense of accomplishment, rushing back with a big bag and a small bag, and suddenly wanted to go to the toilet, and the doorman at the door said, "Two cents a piece."

I was about to pay the money, and my colleague suddenly said, "Three cents and two people!" ”。

The gatekeeper was shocked by this domineering question, and said, "After looking at the toilet for so many years, you are the first to bargain with me, and today is an eye-opener." ”

There are two versions of each woman: hardcover and paperback, the former is shown to others in the workplace and social occasions, with heavy makeup and radiance; The latter is shown to the person he loves the most at home, changing into homely clothes and pajamas, and complaining. Husbands in marriage often only see their wives' paperbacks and other women's hardbacks—one of the motivations for extramarital affairs.

2. Beauty is a woman's passport - just an old saying, and it can be regarded as an unbreakable truth. is obviously a sugar-coated cannonball, and in the end, he may not win the beauty, but he is desperate to please her. And those women who lack visual effects, although some of them are obviously good medicine, because of the bitterness, men often can't make up their minds to marry her.

Once upon a time there was a wife who loved her husband very much.

One day she said to her husband.

Husband, husband, believe it or not, I use my tongue and hands to make you happy? Guess what my wife does?

Make a grimace and stick out your tongue. Think crooked, you].

Teacher: "How many fathers and mothers do you have?" ”

Student: "Why do you ask me such a strange question?" ”

Teacher: "Because I saw that you wrote in your diary, 'My parents are a loving couple'. ”

Chairman, please take a look: Write to ****. A letter from the Prime Minister! "Note: Entertaining! Don't take it seriously! 》

In the car that day, a pretty girl suddenly yelled at a polite and polite white young man: "Hooligans! "It seems that the guy is not honest. The guy behaved aggrieved and immediately retorted. The two sides began to scold.

After a while, I heard the girl scold: "You are a big hooligan, you have been a hooligan since you were a child, your mother just gave birth to you, and you don't forget to look back." After hearing this, the passengers on the bus were silent for a moment, and then burst into laughter.

My colleague shook his head and said that it was the first time he had seen that scolding could be done like this, and that it was really a scolding that no one could beat. After the guy was scolded, he couldn't say a word with his mouth open.

When we heard this, we all sighed that this scolding was really a scolding for the ages, probably no one before or since, and we all said that there was indeed no more ruthless scolding than this that could be used to fight back.

Then I suddenly heard the man say loudly, "You are the big rascal!" You're still in your mother's womb and you're watching your dad three times a day! "

When the crowd heard this, they fainted.

I heard a story: the brothers want to open a joint venture company, in order to highlight the company's awesomeness, it is specially named "ability"! How domineering does the "Ability Company" sound!

happily took back the license from the Industrial and Commercial Bureau, and the brothers were dumbfounded, only to see that the license was written "ability ****".

There is a story that is scary at the beginning, fun in the middle, and miserable at the end: a ghost, put a pi, died.

The countryman came to the supermarket and said, "I want your life (noodles), pig sun (bamboo shoots)!" ”

After reading these jokes I summarized, I believe you will definitely laugh. Have fun! 1:

Because I was so crazy about dancing, I dreamed about it at night, and in the morning my mother pulled me up and suddenly shouted, "It's you!" I'm gone!

2: On the way to school, I saw the old people playing Tai Chi, and thought: The newcomer is the newcomer and still plays 72.

3: When I arrived at school, I saw mm in a skirt in my class, and said, "Don't jump 54, don't seduce me with your pants, and I was slapped in the face." 4：

In the math class, the teacher asked me to give the answer to the question. 564 564 64 564+64" was punished by the teacher. ：

When I did recess exercises, I was different from my classmates, and the teacher asked why, and I said, "Free dance steps are casually danced, they are all the same, it must be a plug-in, a bs plug-in." ” 5：

Because I was dancing too late in the evening, I was slow to prepare for physical education class, and the teacher asked, "Why is Lao slower than others?" I'm card.

6: In a trance, I accidentally walked to someone else's classroom and was kicked out by the teacher. "Leaning on Wang Yan, t me?

Open room stepping! ”7：.On the way home from school, I saw people gathered together.

I thought, "I'm playing with the group, I haven't memorized the dance steps yet." ” 8：

When I got home, I asked my mother for the second day's pocket money, and my mother gave her 20 yuan. I said, "20g?

How can it be enough, you can't buy the most basic hair, at least 7000. "As a result, the 20 pieces were gone. 1. Why do Haier brothers only wear pants?

Because they don't have Q coins! 2. Why is China the most mysterious country in the world? Because **** is who, and the prime minister is when

3. One monk carries water to drink, two monks carry water to drink, three monks have no water to drink, four monks fight landlords, and five monks can go to pretend to be babies. 4. Listen to your words, and the saint warrior reads. 5. What are you unhappy about?

Say it and make everyone happy. 6, when is the bright moon, look up by yourself 7, women are made of water, men are made of mud, Li Junji and Li Yuchun are made of cement. 8, the praying mantis catches the cicada, Nuwa catches the sky, the dead sheep catches the prison, and the four famous catches 9, the 14 books written by Jin Yong can be connected into a couplet:

Feixue shoots white deer in the sky, and the smiling book god leans on the blue duck" The 7 books written by Rowling can also be connected into one sentence: "Hahahaha, hahahaha" 10, the one with tattoos is not necessarily a hooligan, he may be Yue Fei.